Ink Bear's Honey Pot

15 Years and the Family We Choose

2011-06-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

Fifteen years. One third of my life. Tom's been gone for 15 years now and it seems like just yesterday that we said goodbye to him. In those 15 years, I've mourned, I've fought addiction to meth and a host of other chemicals, I've gained and lost and I've cried. I've also moved from San Francisco, I've gotten clean and sober, I've made new friends, earned my master's degree, bought my first house, and adopted my loving pups.

None of the latter would have been possible without the former. Tom changed my life in ways that, fifteen years later, I am still only beginning to realize. I hear his laughter in so many voices, I see the smile in his eyes in so many faces. When I'm down, I remember the nights sitting in the window of the front room while he rubbed my feet and we watched the lights of SF and the Bay Bridge. I remember telling him of my fears and hopes and dreams. I remember the unwavering support he gave me. I remember the day he died, how I was too late to the hospital to hear his voice one more time.

Tom was the family I chose. In life we have the family we are given and the family we choose. Sometimes the family we are given doesn't accept us for who we are, or only accepts us with conditions. The family we choose accepts us unconditionally for who we really are, and where we are in our journey.

Over the weekend, I got to spend time with some of the family I choose at Gay Days. I met a cool couple, J and M. M had turned 21 the day before I met him and is just the sweetest kid. I hung with these guys over the weekend and we had lots of laughs. We went out to dinner one night and M started to tell me he could never come out. His family would never accept him, so he planned that for the rest of his life he would not come out.

I told him that his journey was just beginning and then even though it might seem now that his family would never accept him, families often surprise us. And then I told him about the family we choose. I told him that he was going to develop friendships that would last his lifetime and those friends would accept him for just who he was. I told him to live his adventure, cuz we get only one, and his was going to be amazing. As we sat there talking, the tears streamed down his face and it was clear that this sweet young guy was getting it. I remembered all the talks I'd had with Tom when I was in my early 20's and he in his late 30's. It took me a while to "get it" but finally I had and was able to actually share it in a meaningful way with another young gay man.

To say that I'm over the loss Tom, would be a lie. I think of him often, and always with gratitude. It's been 15 years, one third of my life. You wouldn't think I'd still cry over him, over the loss, but I do. It took me 3 days to write this, if that is any indication. All I really know is that I am a better man because Tom loved me. I'm not sure anyone will ever love me like that again. Sometimes, I care about that, but mostly, I realize I was very lucky to have that once in my life. If it is never my turn again, I'm ok with that...mostly :-) The family I choose will carry me though.

Goodbye my dark angel...

2011-01-10T11:00:00.000-08:00

She was just 8 weeks old when she barged into my life. Little did I know how she would change my life, or how much it would hurt when she left. I was leaving the adult bookstore on New Year's Day, 1999. I had just gotten an awesome blow job and was satisfied and ready to go eat. As I was walking out, a guy walking toward me said "looks like someone is coming home with you". I figured some guy was following me, and I was so NOT down with that. I busted my nut and I was done. I didn't want company.

I turned around and didn't see anyone. I was puzzled. The guy stopped next to me and laughed, looking down. As I looked down, this tiny little pure black puppy came tumbling down the steps to rest at my feet...well actually "on" my feet. She was dirty and I could see that she had chewed off a lot of fur, especially on her tail and legs. The guy who had first noticed her asked "what are you gonna do?" I was like "ummm what do you mean, do?" I told her to go home, to go find her momma. She just sat on my feet with her tail wagging. She wouldn't budge. The guy said "from the looks of her, she doesn't have a home or a momma."

I lived in a small one bedroom apartment that did not allow pets. It had been just over a year since I had gotten clean and sober and moved back to FL. I did not have room in my life for a dog....period. I tried again "Go home, go one...git!" Didn't work. She just looked up at me with her eyes and wagged that chewed up tail of hers. I turned to walk away to head for my truck and she was right behind me. "Like it or not," the guy said, "she's following you home." I stopped and turned and she plopped onto my feet again, panting and tail wagging. What the fuck was I gonna do??

I went back into the bookstore and asked the guy behind the counter what he knew about the puppy outside. He said it had been around for a few weeks and eating junk from around the outside of the dumpster. He never saw a mother or any other puppies. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, I couldn't leave her there. This was going to be a problem, but I'd figure it out later. I went back outside, and she was gone. OK, off the hook. I started walking toward the truck and I heard a little yelping. I turned and there she was tumbling down the stairs after me. She was going to need to work on the stairs.

I picked her up and put her in the truck. She was shaking and hid herself under the passenger seat. I stopped at Walgreen's and got some dog food and some flea bath as well as a small collar and a leash. The plan was I'd clean her up and feed her and then take her to a local vet the next day and find her a home. Hahahahaha, I was such and idiot. Little did I know that was not HER plan :-)

When we got to my apartment, I snuck her in and gave her 3 flea baths before the water was clear of fleas. She had so many fleas, I could see them in her eyelashes and crawling on her fur. She didn't like the baths that much. When we were done, I wrapped her in a towel and laid her on the floor. She crawled out from the towel, grabbed it with her mouth and pulled it under the dining room table with her...then she slept. She slept like she had never slept before, she was so still I thought she was dead at first. I guess she had to sleep with one eye open until now and finally could relax.

I put bowls of food and water under the table and she woke to scarf both down. Then she went back to sleep. She slept under the table all night. I got up a few times during the night and took her out to walk. She did her thing a few times. In the morning, I took her to the vet down the street. They looked at her and said she was in good shape aside from the damage from the fleas which would clear up now that they were gone. He said, "she's a beautiful puppy, what are you going to do?" There was that question, what was I going to do. I told him I couldn't keep him, but wanted to get her off the street. He told me I could bring her to the pound, but they didn't have a great record for saving every puppy.

Now I was torn. How was I going to rescue her from the street and then assign that fate to her. A few weeks in the pound and if nobody adopted her, she would be put down. Damn, what the fuck was I doing??? I did something that I have learned is my best and worst habit....I said "Fuck it, we'll deal with the consequences later" That meant taking her home and dealing with the fact that I couldn't have a puppy at my apartment. So, I bought her all the stuff a good puppy should have, toys, treats, food, and a crate. I was going to crate train her.

I named her 99 as I had found her on 1/1/99, and I lived Agent 99 on Get Smart when I was a kid. The love affair had already started from the minute I found her. I was smitten and she was my master. The crate training worked, and she was house broken easily. A few months went by and there came a note on the door. Please see Mgmt, we have had complaints of a barking dog in your apartment....uh oh....shit, meet fan :-) The eviction process gave me time to find another place to live, this one with a fenced back yard that accepted dogs.

We had a happy home at our new place and a few months later, we brought Max into our life. They loved each other so much and played all the time when they were younger....years later, I would add Chief to the mix, but that is a story for another day.

Flash forward 12 years to January 2nd (just one day past 12 years since 99 barged into my life). She didn't eat in the evening. Max sometimes goes a day without eating, but never 99. The next day, I went and bought some dog food with gravy. Not the best for her, but I knew she'd eat it...she didn't. The following day I took her in to the vet. She had lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks and the vet took blood tests and urine. She also felt her glands and realized that they were swollen...all over her body. The vet assumed it was Lymphoma but wanted to wait for the result of the tests to be sure. She said that there might be a chance we could start her on prednisone, but that would be a short term solution and if it had gone too far, that would not even work.

I was devastated. It had come on so fast. The vet said that is often the case, but to wait for the tests to come back before getting too upset. The next day she called with the bad news....99's liver and kidneys were fully involved...I had to sit down. I asked if 99 were hers would she think it was time to say goodbye and she didn't hesitate. Yes, it was time.

How do you just say goodbye to a being who has been your constant companion for 12 years? In 12 years, no man had loved me. Yeah, I had friends and family, but no man had loved me as his. 99 loved me every second of every day. When my grandparents died and I cried at home alone, she licked my hand and my face and wiped away my tears. When my Dad died just over a year ago, she sat with me as I cried and put her head on my knee to pat. I had never loved a being like I had her (and Max and Chief). How was I going to say goodbye?

I left work early to spend time with her. I would take her the next morning and hold her as she made her transition to the next leg of her journey. I couldn't sleep. I was awake at 4am and laid with her on the floor. She had eaten the night before and I had some hope, but it was short lived as she vomited it all up. The night stormed...it hadn't stormed like that in a long time. It was like the universe knew what I must do and wept along with me. At 8am, I called the vet and told them I was on my way.

Typically, when I grabbed her leash, 99 would run circles around me. this time, she just opened one eye, and looked at me, then sighed and closed her eyes...it was time. I had to stand her up after I got the leash on so we could walk to the car. All the way to the vet, I told her how sorry I was and how much I loved her and thanked her for changing my life. By the time we walked into the vet, I was in tears. They brought us into a room and then the vet came in and told me that they had no solution to euthanize her....WHAT?!?!?! how could they make a bad situation worse? they just had!!!! I had to take my baby home and wait to be called to come back.

She was vomiting bile every 15-30 minutes now and it was clear it was time for her to move on. I sat with her at home and waited for the call which came 4 hours later. We went back to the vet. This time they were prepared. I sat with her as they injected her and told her to run and find Chief. He was already on the other side and would be so happy wot play with her. I asked my Dad to be with her and watch over her until I could join them....and I cried.

I cried like my soul was pouring out through my eyes. My throat was thick with the sobs and the pain was overwhelming. My baby was gone....I was lost. I held her for quite a while and whispered to her. Even after she was gone, I didn't want to let go. When I could cry no more, I lowered her limp body to the floor and said my final goodbye. I was numb.

12 years earlier she had barged into my life. She stole my heart. I was lonely at the time, only clean and sober for just over a year. I was close to using many days. I have always said she rescued me, and she really did. I called her my dark angel. I firmly believe that they universe put her in my path for a reason. I hope I did right by her. I hope that showed her the love she showed me.

It's just Max and me now. We'll go on. He is also over 12 years old. I don't know how much time he has. He's going deaf, and slowing down. I hope he can give me just a little more time. I'm not ready to be alone again....the thought terrifies me...

I went to Jacksonville to see Devin for more ink the day after 99 left me. The trip had been planned for a while. Friends told me to go, it would be good for me. They were right. When I arrived, Devin showed me a design he had done for me in the day since 99 had gone. It was a Fu Dog (a symbol of protection) with a playful slant. Most Fu Dogs look fierce, this one looked like 99, sweet and playful, and devoted to me and my protection. Devin wasn't sure if it was too soon. I welled up with tears as I thanked Devin. It was perfect and I wanted him to ink it on me over the weekend.

I had lots of time to think on the hours long drives back and forth to Jacksonville. I hate that our pets have such short lives. I guess they need less time to "get it right" than we do. All of the spells and chants I knew could not give me more time. I so wish I had more time. But I guess the finite nature of time is what makes it so precious. 12 years went by too fast, but I have 12 years of amazing memories. I will remember 99 every day. I'm sure I'm not done crying for her, but neither am I done smiling and laughing.

When my time comes, I hope I find her and Chief (and maybe Max by then) waiting for me on the other side. What a reunion that will be :-) Until then, I can only than the universe for the gift of 99.

My worst and best Christmas

2010-12-24T18:38:00.001-08:00

Christmas 1997 will always be my worst....and my best Christmas. I had been living in San Francisco for just over 5 years. When I started out there, all was great. I loved my job, I loved the city, I made a bunch of great friends. After I lost my first job, I started working at Daddy's Bar. Actually, it wasn't even Daddy's Bar yet. Philip, the owner, did my best friend Tony a favor and let me work as a barback the night he took over the bar from the previous owners. The bar was supposed to close for just a few days, do a little remodelling and open back up....that was not to happen. The remodel ended up going through months of red tape and hassle. During that time, Philip sort of adopted me and I worked for him during the remodel, pretty much doing whatever he needed me to. The money helped, and I liked the people I was meeting.

When Daddy's finally opened, I was the assistant manager, and Tony was the manager. It wasn't long, however, before Tony realized he didn't like the management side of things, so I was promoted to manager of the most popular bar in the Castro...well, most popular for what I'd call "Scruff types", you know, leather, blue collar, bears, etc. My time at Daddy's began my descent into madness. Booze was always a factor. I had a beer in my hand most of the time I was working, and lots of shots every night. It was sort of the culture. Customers buying me drinks, or me buying drinks for customers and joining them in a shot, etc.

If it had just been the booze, I might have made it through, but fate introduced me to "Crystal". Meth was wildly popular in SF, and it was sooo easy as a bar manager to get. I had an office in the back to do my drugs, to have my dealer come back and "deal". My hours at the bar were long, and I was expected to be "On" all the time. There were days when I arrived at 8am and didn't leave until 3am the next morning. Meth seemed like a good way to keep moving... to stay "on". It started as just a little here and a little there, but over a very short time, I pretty much didn't do anything without a "bump".

Crystal was a harsh mistress, however, so I began to indulge in other chemicals to make sure she got an attitude adjustment. Pot took the edge off, Coke and Crack changed the high. Heroin made the whole thing just...well, I'm not sure there are words. I was a regular pharmacy. I got really good at compensating, so it wasn't overt, or at least I thought. I would go for days, and sometimes weeks without sleeping. When I did sleep, I would crash completely. I would sleep for 24 hours on a day off without ever getting out of bed. I was so dehydrated, I didn't need to piss, and my body would just shut down. When I woke, feeling like shit, I'd do a line or 3 or 6 to get things moving again.

When I wasn't at work, life was one constant sex party at my apartment. I had so many different men through the door. I can't even count the number of people who ripped me off. Drug addicts are not nice people...don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Around this time, Tom died, and things just got worse. I only wanted to be numb, and so it was a constant party. I remember sitting in my apartment looking across the street at the college building there. I would see people in the windows, in the doorways, on ledges. I would peek out from behind the curtains for hours every night. Even with a room full of guys naked and fucking, I would stand and stare at "them"

Paranoia was my constant companion. I truly believed every night that "they" were coming to get me. I hid my drugs in the craziest places to make sure "they" didn't find them when they busted in the door. I had bugs growing under my skin...well so I thought. I would pick at my arms all night and swore I was pulling out wings of the bugs that were breeding under my skin. At one point, I even took a baggie of these "wings" to the Dr to show him. Why he didn't commit me, I don't know.

The drugs and sex were a perfect combination to contract HIV. I have no idea who or when it happened, I just know it was about 18 months before I left SF. I never used needles...I hate needles, which is funny if you look at all the ink I have. I think that was one of the factors that saved me, I never mainlined the shit. I just did lines and booty bumps.

My spiral just got worse and worse. I think I left Daddy's when I could no longer cope. I was supposed to be leaving for a free lance web design job, which never panned out. I was spending every cent I had left on drugs. I wasn't eating, or leaving the apartment for days on end. The rent money went to drugs, the phone and electric money....drugs, I sold most of my leather for...you guess it, money for drugs. Well, this type of thing can't go on forever, and by December of 1997, the end was near.

I had not talked to my family for many weeks. They kept calling and I kept avoiding. One night, I remember a frantic message from my mother coming over the machine as I fisted someone in the sling. She was in tears and wondered if I was still alive. I didn't call back for a few more days. I sat in my apartment alone, listening to that message over and over for at least a full day. My parents loved me and wanted me to call them back. They loved me, and I hated me!!

I called my mother and it wasn't long before I broke down. I didn't tell her about the drugs, but just that I was out of money, no job, no prospects. I sobbed for what seemed like hours and my mother said two very simple words..."Come home". I had thought of SF as my home for over 5 years. I didn't want to have another home. I had moved from FL with just a few bags and established a life in SF. Going "home" meant I was admitting I was a complete and utter failure. Going home meant that I would lose all my friends - Of course, that had already happened. People who aren't addicts typically are driven away by the addict. I drove off all of the friends I had come to love and cherish. Tony had already moved to San Diego, and all the rest had moved on and left me in my drug induced madness.

All except for Mark. Mark had been in recovery for many years. I met Mark when I was first in SF, long before the booze and drugs. I would go months without talking to him when the madness was at its worst, and he would always be there when I called. Mark never once said anything about drugs to me. He never once called me out. It was clear by just being in the same room as me, that I was high all the time. The twitches, the stammered speech, the picking and scratching, the sweating. He knew all the signs, I'm sure, and still he never pushed me.

I called Mark and asked to talk to him about flying "home". My Mom and Dad offered to send a one way ticket for me to leave SF. Mark looked me in the eye and said simply, "It's time, Don." Mark helped me box up what few possessions I had left and ship them to my folks. My Mom had wired some money so I could eat and ship stuff. I used a good portion for drugs. The night before I left, I think I did every drug in my arsenal...how I am not dead, I do not know to this day. Mark arrived the next day, Christmas Eve, and took me to the airport. I cried all the way there. Mark left me off and I was alone. I had one line left of meth, and I went into the bathroom at SFO to do that last line. I cried as I did, hating myself, and what I had become. SF had so much promise for me when I arrived, and now, I was being ejected like so much trash. That was the last drug I ever did.

I got on the plane, high, and shook my head most of the way to FL. I had a layover for an hour in Minneapolis which turned into many hours. As is often the case around Christmas, snow gets in the way. I was coming down, HARD, and had no prospect of any drugs ahead. When we finally got back on the plane, about 5 hours later, I was shaking.

My parents picked me up at the airport and took me to their home. When I got there, I jumped out of the car to run in to the bathroom and vomit. The next day, my parents give me a brand new TV for Christmas for my room. They couldn't have been any more supportive. The next few weeks are a blur. I spent most of my time in my room, going through serious withdrawal...for like 6 different things at once. I told my folks it was the flu. I was depressed, so damn depressed.

After a few weeks, I started to look for a job and within 6 weeks from when I arrived, I had my first job working on a Help Desk for GTE. It was a 90 minute drive each way, so my folks gave me their old car and helped me get an apartment close to work. From there it was really a big snowball. I was good at what I did and was recognized and promoted quickly. My first dog adopted me off the street and then my second. They kept me laughing and provided unconditional love. One of the managers at work started bugging me about going for my Masters Degree. Work would pay as long as I kept my grades above a B. I figured, what the hell, and after 2 years, I earned my MBA. I really enjoyed my job at that time as a project manager, so I pursued my Project Management certification. The MBA and the PMP opened doors for me. I bought my own car, I bought my own house. SF started to seem like a bad dream...but I didn't forget.

Today is the 13th anniversary of when I cried in the Men's room at SFO, did my last line, and got on the plane. I'm not crying today. I can't say it has been easy. Every day I fight my demons. Every day, still to this day, I know that once bump, one line would be the end for me. I trust in the Universe. I trust in myself. I have come to realize that each and every moment is precious. Each moment a gift. We are so small, so helpless and so powerful each one of us. I am today grateful for every single second.

I've been blessed. Many of my friends from San Francisco have been gracious and have allowed me to reconnect with them. To a person, not one has shut me out. These are good people.

My health has it's up and downs, HIV remains my least favorite "lovely parting gift" from that time in my life. I have terrible scars on the tattoos on my forearms. People as me all the time if I am going to get them fixed......never! Those scars are part of me, part of who I was and who I am today. To paint over them would be such a huge mistake. I look at them every day, touch them and remember. Those scars are truly a blessing.

13 years ago, and it seems like yesterday and like a lifetime ago. I don't know what tomorrow holds, so I live today...and for me, right now, that is enough.....

InkBear InkBear very hairy, how does your garden grow?

2010-11-08T11:16:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to do this for a long time. Actually, I'd been fantasizing about doing this for a long time...getting my cock tattooed! I had checked around and most artists who would even consider it wanted a hefty up charge to ink the cock. These guys were all straight and felt they should be paid to hold and squeeze my cock for a few hours. My cock is nice, they really should be paying me :-)

After one thing leading to another, I connected with Devin in Jacksonville. We met online and I asked him if he has done cock tattoos and if he would do mine. He said yes, and so we set a date. Due to events that I was attending in September and October, I needed to set the date for almost 2 months away in November. The anticipation of the event nearly killed me, but I took the time to do my research and talk to others who had that area inked. I got lots of good advice and suggestions from a number of guys in Inked-up.com. I also chatted with Devin about what I wanted. As my work is almost all Japanese style, I wanted to stay with that, but I didn't want the cliched dragon or snake. We decided on a branch of cherry blossoms. In Japanese culture, the cherry blossom represents the transitory nature of life. I feel it an appropriate symbol to tattoo on my body.

After almost 2 months of getting more and more excited AND nervous, the time finally arrived. The plan was that I would leave after work on Friday and drive to Jacksonville (3-4 hours) and meet with Devin. We would review the design and plan the session that would take place on Saturday. Now let me tell you that Devin is not only a great artist, but one of the greatest human beings I have ever had the honor of meeting. Devin offered his home as a place to stay so I would not need to get a hotel.

The drive to Jacksonville was torture. I wanted to be there already and get things rolling. I made it to the shop earlier than I had planned. I was directed back to Devin's work area and he was already walking up to meet me. He took me back and we hugged. It was the most amazing hug I've shared in a long time. It was clear that we had great chemistry which was going to make this tattoo more of an "experience" than just the regular get some ink. Devin had an appt coming in, as I was supposed to be there later, so we checked out the design and talked for a bit, then I headed out to chill while Devin worked on his next appt.

When I got back to the shop, Devin was just finishing up. I waited for him and gave show and tell to the other artists up front, as they had noticed my leg and so I showed them my back. I'm such an exhibitionist and love showing off my ink to new people. A cock tattoo is really perfect for me. Devin and I talked some more and then headed back to his house. The best way to describe Devin's place is cozy. So many people have a house, Devin has a home. I loved the energy from the moment I walked in the front door. Devin introduced me to his roommate and we all headed out to dinner at a great Mediterranean place. Damn it was good food.

We got back to Devin's and chilled and talked about the ink for Saturday. I was nervous, but Devin was so calming, it was great. I slept great and dreamed that the ink was already done. On Saturday, we got up and headed to breakfast. We met Tommy, who was coming to be my photographer and moral support. I met Tommy at Bear Bash in September and he has had work done by Devin as well. We all had a great breakfast and some laughs. We then headed to the River Art Market by the St. John's River. I was a great space and great art and it helped to distract me before the session.

When we arrived at the shop, one of the artists had been inked on the back of his hands from wrist to knuckles the night before. It looked painful and he confirmed it was. Devin told them that I was about to give him a run for his money, and they all laughed as they knew what I was having done. We got to Devin's room to set up and Tommy started to ask me if I were nervous, how was I feeling, did I think it was gonna hurt. He was really enjoying giving me a hard time. It helped, though, and broke my tension.

I had been told by a few people to invest in some topical lidocaine to help manage the pain. I had some with me and applied it. Now, that produced a catch-22. After 45 minutes, I needed to get my cock hard to draw on the design, but it was also a bit numb. Of course the harder I tried the more self conscious I got and the less a hard-on would occur. Finally after some effort, I got it hard and Devin was able to draw on the design with a sharpie. He asked if I was ready, I took a deep breath and told him to go for it!!

The lidocaine cream helped for sure, but it did not take away all of the pain. It was still pretty intense. For some reason, however, it was also VERY erotic. As I lay there, I could feel the needles biting into my cock and could also feel the vibrations all through my cock. Once the first line was drawn, and thought of a hard-on was long gone. Devin used my PA as a handle to move my cock around and wrapped it around his finger to pull the skin tight. Like I said, it was painful but also really HOT!!! At one point when we took a break, I was surprised that my cock was dripping lots of precum when I stood up. At one point as I lay there, I looked down and realized I was tugging on my nipples. I have no idea when I started, or how long I had, but the sensation was so intense/erotic, that apparently, my nipples wanted in. This happened more than once throughout the session, and each time I was not doing it consciously.

Tommy was great! He took great photos and kept me distracted. When I needed to sit up to look or take a break, he made sure I didn't flop off the table. We had a lot of laughs and it was just a great experience. At some point after an 60-90 minutes, Devin asked me to take a look and see what I thought. I asked if he could extend it more toward the root and the head of my cock. He was cool with that. We also talked about adding some blue behind the branch in wisps to look like sky. He added that and we were really pleased with it.

After some more photos and video clips, we were done. Tommy helped me up and I was so stoked. I survived and was quite high off the endorphins. We all had some laughs and I got my shorts on. Devin had more appointments throughout the day, so Tommy took me to get a bite to eat and then back to Devin's to chill. After lunch, I just chilled at Devin's with my cock out to get some fresh air. It was still bleeding a bit, so I kept dabbing it here and there to keep it happy. After a while the endorphins started to wear off and I was wiped. Between the actual session and the emotional and spiritual energy flying all day, I was spent. I dozed off until Devin arrived.

I got dressed and we headed out to dinner at a great place called Kickbacks. Devin had designed their new T-shirt design and it seemed like he was a local celebrity, so many people stopping by to say "hi". After dinner we headed back to Devin's to watch a REALLY BAD kung fu movie. Shaolin vs Evil Dead was probably the worst movie I have ever seen, which made it the BEST movie I had ever seen. We laughed so hard, especially when Devin noticed that only one of the white rabbits in the opening shot was alive and the other appeared to be fake. It was all downhill from there, which was awesome. I love to watch REALLY BAD movies that are so bad that they are good. It was a great way to unwind after a long day.

The next morning, we headed out for breakfast and then it was time for me to be on my way. I left Jacksonville with mixed emotions. I was stoked I got my ink and had a great weekend, but sort of sad to be headed home. Jacksonville was so much fun, the art, the neighborhoods, the food, Devin and Tommy, I really left wishing I lived closer. But life is what we make of it, so I resolved that I would be back again soon. The drive home wasn't bad, although I admit I was a bit sore and swollen.

I stopped on my way home to visit with Arnie, Larry and Matt. They had a mini intervention with me to get me to stay away from lost puppies. Long story we won't get into here, but flying people to FL to visit me has not been a winner up until now and they worried that getting burned was gonna harden my heart. It is so good to have friends like these guys who look out for me. I hung out there for 2 or 3 hours and then it was time to finish my trip home. I got home but the house was lonely. Can't pick up the dogs on Sunday, so I had a night alone at home. I hate coming home and then having to wait another day to get my babies. It just feels weird sleeping with them.

It took about 24 hours and I decided I wanted to go back for more. I've already scheduled time in January with Devin to go back for more work. Going to extend the branch more around my shaft and also down onto my balls. I can't wait!!!

Healing hasn't been too bad. Having had many many hours of ink, I am familiar with the healing process. Keep it clean and keep it from drying out. The swelling was more than I'm used to but considering Devin needed to wrap my cock around his finger like a pretzel to keep the skin tight, it was to be expected, along with some slight bruising. The pain has not been severe pain, rather just a constant soreness. The thing that is killing me the most is not being able to use it. I'm used to stroking at least once per day, typically more like 2 or 3 times per day. Right now, it has been 6 days and I'm ready to blow...literally!!!!

I can't wait until I see it sliding in and out of a hot mouth AND a hot ass, in a few weeks, I hope!!

Overall the experience was amazing. Devin is such an amazing artist. His tattoo work is mind blowing, but I was also honored to be able to poke around his studio at home. His paintings will wreck your world!!! The hospitality that he and Tommy showed me all weekend was so cool. It wasn't just an ink session, it was an "experience", both physical and spiritual. In the end I took away a lot more than ink on my cock, and for that blessing, I am forever grateful....

A lot of people have asked me a number of questions. so I guess I'll answer them:

* Why? - Ever since I saw my first video with a guy with an inked cock, I have fantasized about having mine done. I think cock tattoos are the hottest ink a guy can have. Not necessarily the best or most artistic in ever case, but definitely the hottest.

* Did it hurt? - Yes it did, but like I mentioned, the lidocaine cream helped manage the pain. Also, it was a VERY erotic experience.

* Are you fucking nuts? - Well, yes I am, thanks for noticing!!

* Why something so girly? - The cherry blossoms in traditional Japanese art represent the transitory nature of life. As the Buddhists say, life is suffering and fleeting. The cherry blossoms for me represent that life is so very short, so precious, and the pain we go through here "gets us somewhere".

* Would you do it again? - Hell yeah! I'm going back in January for more!

* Did you learn anything about yourself? - Yeah, that I can survive things that most of the world would run screaming from. And that new friends and an intense experience are a great match!!

Bear Bust 2010 Part 4 - Great Ending

2010-10-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

Woke up on Sunday feeling much better after a good night's sleep. Piglet was still sleeping, but #2 was already up. We headed to the vendor fair for #2 to get a few last minute goodies. He was looking at some nice t-shirts, but the color he liked (a perfect blue to go with his eyes) was only available in a sleeveless version. He said he never wore shirts like that.....well that's all it took. Got him to try it on, snapped a pic and showed him. He bought it on the spot :@)

We all had brunch at the very tasty brunch provided as part of the event. Great food, lots of it, and lots of bears woofing it up. It was sort of melancholy. A lot of guys were leaving, so it was time to say goodbye for now. So many people come from all over the world to Bear Bust, that it's not like you'll see them next week. I made sure Telmo and C knew where we were, and they came to say bye after they packed the car. The cubs spent time talking to others that had met over the weekend, exchanging info and saying goodbyes.

We headed back up to the room and got lubed up (with sunblock) for the pool. There was a small contingent of bears left at the pool and we chatted and relaxed. I headed off to take a drive to chill a bit and get some soft serve :-) When I got back, #2 was napping and Piglet was off meeting and greeting some more :@) #2 and I chatted for a while and it was time for him to go. He had a long drive and had to work on Monday. We went down to say good bye to Piglet at the pool and then #2 was on his way.

I was sad to see him go. It was so refreshing to experience Bear Bust through the eyes of someone who had never been to an event like this before. He was so into it, and came out of his shell so much during the weekend, it was really awesome. I stayed true to my word and never pushed him for anything, other than for him to have fun. He did just that, and it was worth it for me.

Piglet and I went to dinner at City Walk and had a great time. We headed to the Phouse for Tdance. It was sort of quiet. We played a round of balcony bingo, but no one else was playing, so it was a quick round. We checked out the club and there was nothing going on there, so I grabbed the Piglet and we headed back to the hotel. When we were heading back, Piglet mentioned that we never did get to try all the implements of torture in my tool boxes. Well, that is something one only need mention once.

We got back to the room and piglet prepped, while I got out the tool boxes. We decided on e-stim to start things rolling. He said he had done it once before, but wanted to do it again with me. I was happy to victimize...er share it with him. I got him on the bed and hooked up to a couple of conductive tubing loops. I like to start a newbie with these, as they are easy on and off and not too intimidating. I typically get the newbie started and then give them the box and let them handle the controls for a few minutes while I watch. This gives me a good feel for their interest in exploration, and their reactions with me out of the equation. Piglet worked the controls for a while until he felt comfortable. He said a few times starting out that he didn't want me to kill him. I explained that the 9v battery that controlled the unit was unlikely to kill him, especially if he was with someone who know what they were doing. He was not all that convinced at first...which works to my benefit.

Took off one of the loops from his cock and attached a stainless bullet about 3 inches long. This went into his hot hole. He kept telling me it would not stay in, so a quick press with my fingers and a deep gasp by Piglet and it was trapped in his hole. I started him off slowly on a pretty basic setting. The vibrating in his cock was turning him on. The thing with e-stim is, especially with an anal and cock electrode on the same channel, you will feel it in the cock first. Many people never turn up the juice enough to feel it in the ass. Once his cock was getting used to the sensations, I amped things up a bit. All of a sudden, his face changed and I could tell he felt it in his ass.

If you haven't done e-stim, it is hard to describe. The sensation is not what you would expect. It doesn't feel shocking (that is more violet wand) but instead more buzzing and vibrating. If you get the frequency just right, the cock and asshole will vibrate and send you into intense pleasure. The trick is getting it just right and that takes experience. Luckily for Piglet, I had plenty of that.

I watched Piglet as we progressed. I made sure that he understood that moans and groans could mean lots of things, as could Ohhs and wow's. I told him how to specifically let me know when it was too intense, so I could back off and then I watched. Part of being a good top is being able to observe your bottom and translate what you see and hear into what they feel via a feedback loop. If you aren't paying close attention, you can miss a signal that can let you know that your bottom is ready for the next level which could send him into ecstasy. With e-stim, it is all about watching and listening for these clues. I say that I judge my success by how long the bottom's eyes are rolled back in their heads. I didn't see Piglet's pupils for over an hour.

I would get him ramped up on one setting for a while and he would be bucking on the bed. He'd lift his hips high and then slam them down as he realized that his body movement changed the position of the electrode in his ass in relation to the one on his cock, and allowed him to take the intensity even further by moving about. Sometimes he was shaking all over, sometimes he moaned softly and sometime he was silent, and you could tell he was far away in a land of intense pleasure. Right about then, I'd change settings and it would start all over for him. It takes a lot of years doing this sort of play to know how to bring someone right to the edge where pleasure and pain meet. You can hold them over the edge just a bit to help ramp up the intensity, but if you push them off the edge, you stand to lose them, as they typically won't continue.

I did this over and over with Piglet, taking him right to the edge, and then letting him tip over it just the slightest bit. It was awesome and for me a very spiritual experience. This isn't raw nasty wild play, this is play that involves the mind and the spirit, an appreciation of the other as a being, their limits and their trust in you. It really is powerful and awesome!!

It became clear that Piglet was reaching the end of his time with the e-stim, and things were getting desensitized, so I backed it off and we switched to the Fleshlight. He fucked that for a while while I took pics and got hard as a rock. Just watching Piglet turned me on. During the e-stim session, I watched his face for every twitch, every wince, every tension and relaxation. He was beautiful and perfect. He made me hard by just looking at him. I knew I needed to finish this session off with some passion!

I had Piglet get on all fours with his chest on a stack of pillows and his cock in the Fleshlight, and then I jumped up behind him and slid my raging hard cock into his greedy hole. I slid it in hard and fast, raping that hole over and over. I had watched that hole twitch all night with electricity and now it was my turn to feel it twitch. It was hot and firm and tight and wet. I talked to Piglet about his porn shoot, about how guys all over would be watching him and wanting him. I told him how guys would come up to him and want to play with him when they saw him in public, I told him how they would ask him to shoot all over them like he did the bear in the film. He was moaning loudly as I plunged over and over into his hole.

The excitement of the session took over and I could hold back no longer. I felt the load building up deep in my balls. I remembered the feel of the pig the day before as we banged on each other's balls. I remembered the look on Piglet's face as I sent electricity coursing through his body...it was all too much to hold and I blew my load deep in his wet horny ass. I pumped away for a while after that, getting my load buried deep in there.

Piglet still needed to be taken care of, so I rolled him onto his back. He grabbed his cock and pulled hard and fast. He looked at me with those big amazing eyes and asked me to finger his ass, and I did. I got my finger in there and pounded on his prostate. It only took a minute and Piglet was shooting all over me, and all over him. This was a cum shot like I had not seen in a long time. Pump after pump of ropey cum all over my chest, my neck, his chest and belly, up over his shoulder. I just kept pushing the button and he kept spewing.

We both were exhausted at that point and proceeded to clean up. It was really the perfect ending to the perfect weekend. In the morning, I would take Piglet to the airport and head off to work myself. I don't know when he'll be back. I'm hoping soon. I've missed him since I dropped him at the airport.

So, Bear Bust 2010 come and gone. It was a huge success from my point of view. I have heard rumors that there will be no more. I hope those are just rumors. I love Bear Bust and can't wait until the next one. The location was great, the men were hot, the events were fun, the FOOD was amazing, the weather was perfect....it was all just awesome!!

I miss the cubs. I've been in contact with both of them since they left. Both offering repeated thanks. I keep telling them to stop. I'm the one to be thanking them. I've mentioned before how blessed I have been that the Universe has put so many caring, giving people in the path of my journey. When I can, I like to pay that debt back to the Universe. That comes in the form of inviting someone I only know from Bear411 to come and stay at Bear Bust and helping to bring him out of his shell, it comes in thee form of buying an airline ticket and event pass for a piglet to come and spend the weekend, when life has been giving him some challenges. It is me who is thankful, that I am able to share some of the caring and kindness that has been shown me. I truly am blessed.....

Bear Bust 2010 Part 3 - Bears at Play

2010-10-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

Well, Saturday came on as fast as Friday did, and again I had just under 3 hours of sleep. I grabbed the iPad and headed out on the balcony for sunrise while while the cubs slept. It was nice when I got up seeing the cubs all tucked in and sleeping like babies. I let then sleep for a few more hours and then I laid back in bed for a while. #2 woke first, followed by Piglet. We all got cleaned up and headed to breakfast and then back to the hotel. I had a play party planned and wanted to get the room straightened up. We got all the valuables in the safe and all the bags in the closet. The cubs weren't sure if they were gonna come to the party. They weren't really comfortable with groups and that was cool with me. We all headed out to the pool and joined up with Telmo and C for some more poolside hijinks. Piglet and #2 were here and there meeting new people. After a while, both of them disappeared with various peeps they had met. Both returned at some point with smiles on their faces.

#2 had been given a great swim suit by WoofTease and we kept trying to get him to put it on. Finally, I dragged him up to the room and sternly told him to get it on :-) He complied! Actually, it had a nice pouch for his package, so I gave him a ball stretcher to put on that would help fill it out. Having never put on a ball stretcher, I put it on for him. He was all smiles as he got his bulging package into his new suit. He looked fucking HOT AS HELL!!! We headed back down to the pool and he was an instant hit. He ended up laying back in a chair between the legs of this really hot pig I was talking with earlier. Sadly, it was time for me to head to the room for the party.

The party was a slow starter, as I figured it would be. There were so many hot guys at bear bust and so much going on, it was tough to tear people away. The first guy to arrive was a pig that I had really wanted to play with. I was glad he was first. It took about 4.5 seconds for us to get naked and then we jumped on the bed. We licked and ate each other all over. He had a huge sack of balls and loved having them played with. That worked for me! I love to pound on balls and so I did. He was squirming all over the bed and I was having a great time controlling his nut sack. At some point were were there pounding on thee other's chest for a while, so hot. I devoured his ass and worked his nuts at the same time....knock knock

Another guest arrived and then another. The third guest was Puerto Rican and had a HUGE uncut cock. It was so hard, you could cut glass with it. I wasted no time in devouring it with my hungry mouth, and he reciprocated nicely. He downed my rod with the PA like a pro. At some point, he was enjoying someone else's mouth and I got my tongue into his ass....fuck it made me drip!! The whole session I was dripping precum, I don't mean little drops, but a steady stream....it was so damn hot.

Our PR friend started to get close, so I made sure to get my mouth down there. I was just in time and wrapped my lips around it as he shot a nice hot load down my throat. I kept sucking, of course, cuz I like it when they get to the point where it starts to get uncomfortable for them. That is when I go to work and make them squirm!!!

Other came and came and went, and we all had a great time. Toward the end of the party Piglet came in and told me he was off to be a model in a Bear Films shoot, doing a bukakke scene. He was so excited and I was happy for him. Nothing makes me happier than when people I really care about are having a good time. So, off went Piglet, the party wrapped up and #2 showed up, apparently having had a good afternoon of his own. That swim suit did just the trick!!

We headed out to dinner while Piglet was shooting...and shooting....and brought him back something to replenish his system, after becoming a porn star :@) Two nights of very little sleep had caught up with me and I hit the sack early, while the cubs went off to explore the evening's events. I crashed withing 5 minutes of hitting the pillow, and dreamed of pigs and bears all night...

Bear Bust 2010 - Part 2 - Bears Bears Everywhere

2010-10-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

Friday morning came too fast. I only got about 3 hours sleep...ugh. We headed out for breakfast and to run a few errands and then back to the hotel to meet Cub #2 who was arriving mid-day. Let me see if I can describe #2. He is one of the most beautiful men I've encountered. He is 30, nice close beard, piercing blue eyes, and a smile that will knock you off your ass. His body is amazing, tight and muscular. I had told him all along that he was under no obligation to put out, but was also welcome to join in at any time. He was most definitely new to all of this, and shy, really shy....for the moment :-) If you have read much of this blog, you'll understand how happy I was to have someone so fresh and new to corrupt :@)

#2 arrived and the three of us got to know each other. We helped him unpack and went over the events for the weekend. I walked #2 down to registration, where he was a huge hit. Everyone immediately swooned over him, and with good reason. We swung up to the room so he could make a drink and we headed down to the pool to meet Piglet. One of my Facebook buddies, Telmo was there. Telmo is one of the most beautiful men I know. He is from Portugal and has a great, very cutting sense of humor, which I love. He was at the pool with his friend C. We all hung out together and flirted with the bears. As #2 was new to all of this, he sort of took it all in. C and I hit is off right away and compared ink. We ended up with our tongues down each other's throats pretty quickly. He was a damn good kisser, which is really big for me. Piglet and I were the only 2 not drinking in our little group, so you can imagine how things were progressing. We talked with all sorts of other guys, and had a lot of laughs.

After a few more drinks, we took #2 to the Vendor Fair and showed him around. I sampled the poppers on display and #2 asked about them, apparently, he had never tried them. Well, how could I not accept that challenge. The next thing you knew, he had a bottle pressed up to his nostril. The look on his face from his first hit ever was awesome. He was like, "I need to go get my wallet" :-) The corruption had begun. We headed back to the pool and #2 went to the room to get another drink. About 45 minutes later, I realized that #2 had not returned. I saw Piglet on our balcony and asked where #2 was, he had not seen him. Hmmmmmm About 15 minutes later, Piglet brings #2 out on the balcony to wave hi, he had a HUGE smile on his face. When he finally got back down, he was all smiles. I mentioned that was the longest I'd ever known for someone to mix a drink...he smiled and said he was diverted on the way....boy learns FAST!!

We continued hanging out and laughing throughout the rest of the afternoon. The cubs were off being cubs and I had the room to myself. I went out on the balcony and noticed C sitting by himself across the pool. I sent him a text "Look up". He did and we smiled. I motioned him over with a finger and he came up to the room. This guy was so damn hot. Full back piece that extended onto his ass and down the back of his thighs. We got naked in seconds and found ourselves writhing around on the bed. He knew exactly how to work some big gauge PA with his mouth. I was squirming every which way. His beautiful uncut cock found it's way into my mouth and it tasted like sweet sweet honey. We spent a long time kissing and sucking each other from head to toe. It was so damn hot playing with another heavily inked pig. I had dinner plans, so we needed to cut it short. I laughed when I looked at my phone and had a text from the cubs asking if it was "safe to come up". Good cubs!!

While I was playing with C, Piglet was helping to bring #2 out of his shell even more. They were asked to help out with the WoofTease Jock Auction to be held at the Phouse. Piglet was in immediately, but #2 needed some convincing. I found him sitting at the pool bar and he asked what I thought. I told him life is short and he should seize every moment. The fact was, he was hotter than 99% of the guys who were going to be there and he should use that to his advantage. He hemmed and hawed a little, but finally said he'd do it. The corruption continues!!!!

At the Phouse, I was so happy to see both the cubs having fun and selling raffle tickets for the auction. They wore the jocks that they were auctioning off and it was damn hot. I made sure that #2's first sale was $10 "Balls to Boot" from me. He did a great job. We shared a smile and a kiss and he was off to wow the crowd. Piglet, being Piglet, needed no help. He is so damn hot, the men were just throwing him money. I watched him head into the crowd and I turned around and there was Telmo and C....perfect!! partners in crime :@)

We headed into the dance bar and hit the dance floor. We danced our asses off with breaks to walk out to the courtyard and flirt with the bears. I was disappointed more bears weren't dancing inside, but fuck it, Daddy gotta dance, and fuck did I ever!! We pretty much danced for the rest of the night. At some point I lost Telmo and C to the night, and just kept on dancing by myself. The music was great and the crowd was great, as it always is at the Phouse.

When it was time for the Jock auction, I headed out to see the cubs up on stage. They were so damn hot!! Sadly, I didn't win a jock, but I did have the two hottest cubs in the place staying with me, so I was the biggest winner.

We all ended up back at the hotel, chatting and laughing until 4:00 am and then we crawled into bed. #2 asked where to sleep and I told him to crawl in with me. I had already warned him I slept naked and not to be surprised when my cock...or my tongue....found it's way into his holes :@) He climbed into bed and I had him back up to me so I could throw my arm around him. Comfortable and tired, we all slept like babies...another long day, meeting new friends, and for some, experiencing whole new things!!

Bear Bust 2010 - Part 1

2010-10-19T05:08:00.000-07:00

I gotta say I love Bear Bust in Orlando. I went to the first one 20 years ago at the Full Moon Saloon and then to the next few after. Then I moved to SF and even after I moved back to FL there was a huge period where I was a hermit and did nothing. Last year I ventured to my first Bear Bust since '92. I went alone, as I had been a hermit for so long, I didn't really know anyone. I have no problem traveling alone, and anyone who knows me, know that shyness is not one of my qualities :-) Last year was OK, but I think the location held the event back.

This year was different. I liked the location better and had a primo room. I picked up piglet at the airport on Thursday afternoon. I met him at Bear Bash last month and we played and had a great time. We continued talking and I invited him to come and stay with me at Bear Bust and he did. I also invited another hot cub to come and stay. I met him on Bear411 and asked if he was going to Bear Bust. He said he had never been to an event like that and didn't know anyone. I told him he knew me, and he should come. The room was already paid for, so he just needed an event pass and he had a place to stay. To my surprise, he actually accepted the offer. So imagine my luck to have TWO, yes TWO hot cubs staying with me for the weekend.

We got to the host hotel and registered. Piglet was off taking care of some personal stuff, so I sat outside registration with a few bears I had just met and greeted each new arrival with my own particular Ink Bear Charm. Those who know me, know that I'm neither quiet nor shy. Life is so very short, and I won't waste it being shy about who I talk to. So, I greeted each new arrival with great energy! "When you're done in there, come back and sit on my lap", "Hot couple, come back so I can rub on you guys"....and guess what, they did :-) When I flirt, I make it clear that I'm not kidding around. If I say, let's go fuck, I mean let's go fuck. When I say, I want to bury my tongue in your hole, I mean RIGHT NOW!! Like I said, life is way too short to wait for others to make the first move.

Piglet and I started the weekend with dinner and then Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. He had never been, so I knew he would have a great time. We hit the haunted houses and the rides and even had out picture taken with Jack the Clown....scary :-)

We headed back to the hotel room. Cub #2 was arriving the next day, so we had the room to ourselves. As piglet cleaned up, I got things ready, He is so dammn hot, and I spent a good amount of time with his thick cock in my mouth and my tongue buried deep in his ass. His ass is one of those you read about, it is sweet and soft. His hole is smooth and firm. My tongue fit it like a glove. I chewed and ate for quite some time. He asked me only one thing, no biting....damn it, no fucking biting?? REALLY???? He said he wouldn't be able to play for the rest of the weekend....apparently last month, I left him sore and marked for quite a while....HELL YEAH!!! I respected that request, after all we had three full days ahead, no sense sidelining him for the weekend....although, fuck his as was so sweet, I really wanted to chew on it.

I made plans to slide my cock into his hole. I was ready to go, but sadly he wasn't. He was really tired having been up to catch his flight early in the morning, and by new it was almost 3am. I suggested we try something a little more in tune with both of our energies, so I pulled out the Fleshlights. I soaked them in warm water and got out the water based lube. Piglet had never used one before, so I knew it would be a treat.

We laid side by side on the bed, and I showed him how to manage the Fleshlight. How the end cap provided varied suction, etc. He slid it on and immediately, I could tell from the look in his eyes, he was digging it. We fucked the Fleshlights, stroked each other, fucked them some more. I told him when he came, he needed to do it inside and not pull out. I could tell he was getting close, so I got ready for him. When he started to shoot, I grabbed the Fleshlight and kept pounding it up and down. Now, if you have ever used one, you will understand how intense the orgasm is inside of it. When you are forced to stay inside and it keeps fucking you post orgasm it is wildly intense. I knew from the writing and moaning that Piglet now understood the same. I was still pounding mine up and down on my pierced cock...it only took the look on his face to put me over the edge and I pounded a load into mine.

When he finally pulled it off, I told him to take off the end cap and watch the load slip out onto his gut. He did and he was amazed at how much there was. I told him he could keep the Fleshlight and took him to the bathroom to show him how to clean it properly. We cleaned up and finally hit the sack at about 4:30 am....damn, I was tired....Friday would be the first full day, and Cub #2 was arriving.... a good weekend was in store for sure!!!

The kindness of strangers...and friends

2010-10-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

Almost 20 years ago, I was fortunate enough to come into contact with an amazing man. Jack Yount was a pioneer in piercing and body modification/manipulation. He pierced my nipples first and then eventually did my PA. Jack was the most decorated and modified man, I had ever encountered, and still one of the most to this day. When I went to him to get pierced, it was at his home in Zephyrhills, FL back in the early 90's. I had received a recommendation of the guy who ran the leather shop in the 2606 leather bar in Tampa. I contacted Jack and he sadi, "Sure, I'm free now, come and hang out, bring your suit for the pool and then we'll do your nipples." Mind you, I had not even met this guy before and he was already inviting me to hang out and swim in his pool. I would come to learn that that was who Jack was and how he was with everyone.

We developed an instant friendship. Jack was a love, and I miss him to this day. Jack's many travels and friendship with Swiss photographer Stephan Richter was the reason that I got my PA. Jack had a photo that he took of this beautiful cock with just a PA. It has a black background and was a close up of the cock. It was actually pretty famous. I saw that photo and immediately asked Jack to do a PA for me. Jack knew how much I loved that photo, so on one trip to see Stephan, he got Stephan to sign a copy of it to me. I cherish it. Jack was actually in Europe visiting Stephan when he passed.

Jack was not a rich man, but he was comfortable. When I met him I was 23/24 years old. He took me under his wing. He would call out of the blue and say, "we're grilling steaks, come on up" He was the most generous man I have known. One day he and his "friend" as he called him were going to Busch Gardens. I was a poor waiter at the time. He called and asked me to go. I hesitated as I had no money. He said, "I didn't ask if you could afford to go, I asked if you would join us." I met them for breakfast (his treat) and then followed them to the park. When I got to the gate to pay for my parking, they waved me on, saying that the gentleman in the car ahead of me had paid for my parking. He bought my ticket, bought me lunch, I think he even bought me a t-shirt. I was so thankful. He said not to even think about it. They were both old men, he said, and they loved experiencing the park through the eyes of a young person.

Jack owned the body jewelry company Silver Anchor and then split with his partner and started Bravo! Body Jewelry with some friends. Whenever Jack would come to visit me in San Francisco, he would bring me custom made jewelry just for me. He never let me pay him for it. I have a vivid memory of Jack coming to visit. He took BART to Muni and got off at Church Street and Market right across from my apartment. My living room looked out on the intersection. I was watching for Jack when what did I see but a man with curly grey locks and a wonderful bear with fire engine red leather pants, a fun shirt and rainbow rings around his neck. Now keep in mind that Jacks cock and balls were the size of an Eggplant, and it was bulged out for all to see! And there he was wheeling his luggage along behind him with a beaming smile.

Jack also provided my first experience with sounds. His "friend" loved to be sounded by Jack. One day they invited me to watch. I sat on the edge of the bed simultaneously squirming and getting hard as I watch the sounds slip in and then the intense orgasm. I was never asked to do anything I didn't want to do, and it was never intimated that I should repay Jack's kindness with sex. I was fascinated by all of Jack's modifications and loved to listen to him and his wonderful stories. He was so proud when I lived in SF and was up to 30 piercings at one point. It all started with him.

As with many times in life, I never got to tell him one last time how much I appreciated him and all he did for me. He was in SF to visit me and then was leaving for Europe the next week. He always called when he returned from a trip and after I had not heard from him for a week or so after, I called only to be told he had passed. As I grow older, I try to repay the kindness he showed me by doing the same for others. Fly a cute boy I met down for a long weekend, take a young guy for his first piercing, etc.

You know, it's so funny, because even by today's standards, Jack would be considered a freak by most Western cultures. Yet, he was the kindest, most down to earth person I have ever met. Taught me a valuable lesson in my early 20's to see beyond the shell.

A few links about Jack
http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Jack_Yount
http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Jack_Yount_Collection

I'm sorry, something caught in your throat???

2010-09-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

So, when we last talked, I was headed home from the Phoenix/John Paul's in a cab, supposedly to go to sleep...or so I thought. When I got back to the hotel, I was so fucking horny. I wanted to play and I wanted to play NASTY! I checked out Craigslist and there were tons of ads, just none that fit the bill so I posted my own.

**********************************************

NO BS - Inked Bear Top for big hairy nasty guys - 44 (FQ Hotel)

44 yo heavily inked nasty bear top.

5'7", 195, 7" cut with a 2GA PA (can play with or without)
I have NO TIME for games. I am hosting at my FQ Hotel room.

Looking for big hairy nasty guys.
HWP? NO NEED.
Into kink? Awesome!!

Come on over and enjoy sucking, fucking, feet eating, pit chewing, ws drinking, sweat licking, hole eating, throat fucking

AGAIN, BIG and Hairy guys are Welcome!!

No long email BS. Send a photo and be ready to cum and play.

*******************************************

Well, that got the emails flowing. Damn, I had like 15 emails in 5 minutes. I tried to be fair and go first come first served, but there were some standouts, so I had to prioritize nastiest first. The guy who won that honor told me he wanted to drink my piss and eat my ass, and he wanted me to fuck his throat long and hard. Now, throat fucking is a HUGE BIG FAT FUCKING TURN-ON for me. I love to feel my cock sliding in and out of a guys throat while he is helpless below me. Mostly I like to use some fun rope bondage along with it, so they can't wimp out and use their hands.

This guy moved to the top of the list!! I told him to get his ass over to the hotel and be ready. We also talked about status, etc and it was going to be a BB night!! He showed up about 30 minutes later, and was he ever ready. We got naked instantly. He was hot. Nice hairy body, small soft cock, which was fine, I didn't plan on doing anything with it, this time was all about MEEEEEEE!! We got to business and he sucked my cock really good. That was nice. I held his head down a few times just to gauge his reaction.....Now for the neophytes, let me explain throat fucking. My dick assaults your throat over and over again, as long and as hard as I want. It is best when you gag... A LOT!! Eventually, you will gag so much that you will bring up thick mucous coated spit. That is where the fun begins. I will continue to fuck your throat until you are covered in that spit....So, a few tentative head holds and he did not buck...promising. He asked if he could eat my ass and, of course, I let him. I'm not interested in getting fucked any more, but I love to have my ass eaten by someone with talent. This guy had talent. He went at it for about 30-45 minutes, while I just lay there letting him eat my hole. He stroked his soft cock every now and then, but I could care less. This was about MEEEEEEEE!!! I was feeling really good from the ass eating, but relay wanted to get back to fucking his throat, for real this time, no more tentative head holds.

I got up and told him to sit on the edge of the bed with his hands at his sides. I pulled out my rope and proceeded to bind his hands to his sides. I didn't want them behind his back, because I was eventually going to have him on his back with his head hanging over the edge while I fucked his throat mercilessly. Everything was arranged nice and tight at his waist. Just so he knew where we were headed, I also bound his cock and balls...didn't want him distracted while I went to work. I got him arranged on the bed with his head hanging over and told him to open wide. He obliged. I slid my cock in and he didn't gag....at first. I slid it in a little deeper and he gagged a bit, but he didn't fight it. The key to being a good throat fuckee (which I admit, I am not) is that you have to let the gag happen and not fight it. He knew not to fight it, and just let it happen. Of course, when you let it happen, all that thick spit starts to flow. As a throat fucker, you want to make sure that that fuckee can get the stuff out of his throat so he can breath. Typically, if they can breath ok through their nose, I just monitor, but if I'm feeding them poppers, I pay extra close attention, so they don't drown on me....cuz nothing ruins a good throat fucking like having to bury the body, especially in a strange city, without your own car...but I digress.

Anywhooo, I found the best way to help clear the spit is to get in there and get it all over you. So, I got down and kissed him, swapping all that thick slop back and forth. I let it coat my goatee and get all over my chest. By the time I was done, he was clear and I was covered. This went on for more than an hour. Every time I pulled out, and knelt down, I got more and more covered until I was dripping just like him. I took all I could not to cum. I was close for the last 30 minutes, but kept holding off. He was soooo damn greedy and so willing to please. I could not have asked for a better victim!

Finally, I had to piss and had to piss hard. I asked him if he was ready for some piss. He said he was. I think he was waiting for me to piss in his mouth since all our attention had been focused there. He even had it open ready for the stream....FUCK THAT!! I flipped him over and slid my cock in his ass lubed up with all that thick ropey spit. I wasn't in for very long when I just had to let go. I pissed for a long time and it was heaven. I was still covered in slop and was so fucking turned on. I fucked him for a while and then went back top his throat. He moaned as I slid my cock in there. I think he was relieved when I had moved to his ass....hahaha, he got over it. :@) I think I throat fucked him for another 20 minutes or so then I laid on the bed and had him use his tongue and work that slop all over my cock and my balls and my ass, then up to my pits and down to my feet. I looked like a furball the cat spit up and felt amazing. He was soooo fucking into it.

By this time, it was after 4am and he was still tied up. I took him into the shower and told him I was gonna rinse him off....and I did.....with a long steady stream of hot piss. He was moaning real loud at this point and I noticed his cock was hard and straining against the rope I had bound it with. He got really loud and I noticed him shooting through the rope, neither of us having touched his cock. HOT!!! I told him he need to clean that rope off, so he let out a steady stream of piss to wash away all the cum....by now, I was spent. Hottest throat fucking session I have had in a LOOONNNGGGGG time, bar none! I let him clean up and get dressed then kicked him out so I could hit the sack. I was spent.....

.....met the boys about 9am for breakfast....I was a zombie....And thus began Saturday in NOLA...

Hi, this is the front desk, we couldn't help but notice...

2010-09-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

Friday came, and I was up and out early. The Quarter is so strange early in the morning. The vomit has been washed from the streets and sidewalks, the urine is mostly gone, and the sweet smell of Pine-Sol and bleach lingers on every corner....ahhh Heaven :-)

I headed out for the Riverwalk to find some flip flops. None to be found, however, they did have a Cafe Du Monde satellite, so I got a chance to eat my beignets by the river. Let me just say, that if there were a Cafe Du Monde here in FL, I would have beignets EVERY FUCKING DAY of my life!!!!!

On the way back to the hotel, I call the boys and we met up at their hotel. Once we were all together, we headed out for lunch....yeah yeah, I know, I just had beignets. Well, it had been almost 2 hours, so gimme a fucking break...the man likes to eat good food!! And good food we had. We went to this little place called Cafe Amelie on Royal. I had a Cochon De Lait sandwich. Spicy pulled pork with pickles and mayo on ciabatta...it was HEAVEN!!!

After lunch we headed back to the boys' room to set up for the first play party of the weekend. I'm so lucky to be friends with guys who run a BB website and host BB parties all the time. Their parties are ALWAYS hot!! So, we got back to the room and proceeded to set up. Just little things, move the tables around, set out the lube packets, etc. I got my new yellow jock ready for action and in a few minutes the guests began to arrive. There were about 16 guys total and every one of them was HOT!! The first group of guys who showed were a little younger (mid-late 20's) and I wondered if they would have fun. Within a few seconds they were all naked and jumping on anything that moved.

The group of guys was really hot. There were guys there of various shapes and sizes. The one thing that they all had in common was they were all pigs. We had originally wondered if we would be bottom heavy. After a few last minute cancellations, I was the only identified Top on the list, though there were many versatiles. Problem is, a lot of times, the versatile guys are really just bottoms in versatile clothing :-) This was not to be the case at this party. Every where I looked there was someone fucking and then turning around and taking it. There were guys fucking guys fucking other guys who all would then turn around and take the train in the other direction. It was so fucking hot!!! There were so many hot holes and cocks.

There was a couple there that I just loved. Both in their 50's and both VERY hot! They had great ink and awesome piercings in their huge cocks! Had a great time sucking their cocks and filling their holes with mine! The energy was really high! By the time all was said and done, the room smelled like sweat and sex, and it was nice! Toward the end of the party, the room phone rang. A got it and I was laughing saying, "Sir, this is the front desk, we've had some complaints about all the naked men in your room." Come to find out it WAS the front desk, but they were just calling about someone who was a no show. It would have been funny if I was right!

We cleaned up and headed out to dinner at Fiorella's. Let me just say that Fried Chicken at Fiorella's will ruin Fried Chicken for me for life. NOTHING will ever compare. We had lots of laughs, I spilled a HUGE glass of water in my lap, D. showed up with an entourage of hot men, including the first time I met K. More on K later :-) Lots of laughs, awesome food, a night parade with beads, and Gelato!!! Heaven! After dinner I shared my Cher does Jimmy Buffet and also my Cher does Nine Inch Nails (you have not lived until you hear me do Cher doing Trent singing "I wanna fuck you like an animal...I wanna feel you from the inside") We parted ways after dinner so I could run home, don my fatigues and boots and then meet the boys for a night at the Phoenix.

The Phoenix was HOT! Probably more so because someone...who shall remain nameless...said it was a short walk from their hotel. By the time we arrived, my shirt was already soaked through! Oh well, off comes the shirt. There were truly some sights to see (in every way you could mean that) and we never even went inside. The crowd was so large, none of us wanted to get stuck in the oven that was sure to be inside the doors. I talked to one guy (ok I played with him the next day) who told me it took him almost 2 hours to get down the stairs once he decided to try.

We ended up heading over to John Paul's, which apparently was the host bar for Bear Decadence. It was nice and cool inside, and there was DANCING!!! I'm sorry, but you can't tease me with hot music all weekend and not allow me to dance....I'm a dancing machine baby, gotta let me work!! We hung out there for a while and met lots of very friendly bears. It was a great night. I talked to one man who was covered from head to toe in ink. He had only only a jock and boots, and the rest was ALL ink. I stopped him as he was walking by and asked how many hours he had in and we got to talking. He asked me if people were ever mean or cruel about my ink. He told me that just while he was standing outside, some guys walked by (and into the bar) and called him a freak (and not in the good way). I told him I never hear anything like that, but I never listen either. He was really a nice guy to talk to, and I was disappointed that in a weekend of so much fun, and openness, there were still assholes ruining it. Let's face it, straight people and the religious right haven't cornered the market on asshole!

After we had our fill, we all piled into a cab to head back to our respective hotels. Little did I know at the time, that my wild night had just begun.....

No, really, it won't hurt a bit

2010-09-08T10:40:00.001-07:00

First night in NOLA. Hung out with the boys on Bourbon St for a while. Got my Orange Sherbet Fuzzy Pimp Hat, and did my impersonation of Cher doing her impersonation of Jimmy Buffet (gotta see it to believe it). Overall a great night. The boys walked me back to my hotel across the quarter and came up to see the room. After they left, I was so damn revved up. I needed to find some action, and it shouldn't be hard in New Orleans during Southern Decadence. I actually wasn't going to need to look very far.

I checked out Craigslist and there were lots of ads for people all in nearby hotels. Apparently great and horny minds think alike. I was going to place an ad when I realized I had forgotten toothpaste at home. Luckily, there was a Walgreen's on the corner. I grabbed a shirt and headed down. Got what I needed at Walgreen's and was going to head back and put up an ad. But the gods of nasty had other ideas...

As I was walking out of Walgreen's I bumped right into a cute guy with one of those huge drinking bongs that all the straight boys are so fond of. He looked mid-20's, beefy rugby player build, and he was Ginger!!!! Now let me just say that I have a HUGE weak spot for Gingers. Everything else could be just meh, but if they are a Ginger, I'm hooked. OK, we bump into each other and he takes a tumble onto the street. I helped him up and it was clear that he was wasted. He wasn't quite sure where he was headed. He thought back to his hotel, but was not clear on where that was, or which hotel. We talked for a minute, he was very friendly. He was admiring my tattoos. He stumbled a few more times, and I suggested he come up for a cup of coffee to sober up a bit and we could sort out where his hotel was.

Imagine my shock when he said, "cool". We were already in front of the hotel so it was just a short elevator ride to my room. I got him settled on the couch and started a pot of coffee. He was sort of fading in and out. He said his feet hurt from all the walking he had done, and I told him I could relate. I suggested he kick off his shoes and get comfortable. He complied. I found that he was just the right amount of drunk to comply with pretty much anything I suggested. I decided to take advantage of that. Once his shoes were off, I grabbed a foot and massaged it. He liked that. So, I worked on the other. He noted that I was good with my hands. I lied and told him I studied massage....he bought it.

Coffee was ready, but I thought sobering him up at this point was not a great idea. He commented again about how good his feet were feeling and I suggested he lay on the couch so that I could show him some massage tricks that would make him feel better and "help him sober up". He was like putty in my hands :@) Got him laying on the couch on his stomach and suggested he take off his sweaty shirt so I could put it near the AC to dry a little. Off it came. I started to massage his back and shoulders and he had his head in the pillow just moaning softly, enjoying the whole thing. I worked my was down toward his ass and he let me brush over his ass with my hands on the way to his legs. He really liked it when i rubbed his legs, again commenting about all the walking. I suggested that I could do a better job on his "legs" if he lost the shorts...which he did. He lay there in his socks and a pair of college sports team boxers. Damn, I was HARD!!!

I suggested he roll over so I could work on the front part of his legs. He didn't think twice. As he did, I noticed that he was semi hard. The head of his cock was just peeking out of the hole in his boxers. I needed to get it to move out further. I wasn't in any rush and didn't want to upset the delicate situation we had going, so I took my time, just working on his legs. When I got to his upper thighs, I took a few opportunities to let my hands press in tight next to his balls in his boxers. His dick responded just the way I wanted and started to push further out of his boxers. At some point he realized it, and sort of covered it up and mumbled some apology. I played it off and said no worries, happens to be every time I get a massage, it's just natural reflex, didn't mean anything. He seemed to buy that and laid back down to let me work.

Somehow, I convinced him that his boxers were in the way...not sure how the hell that worked....well he was pretty drunk. Anyhow, off came the boxers and the massage continued. I was telling him how this would work out all the toxins from the alcohol and he would feel much better in the morning. He had a beautiful red cock, long, thick and uncut!! I love uncut cock, so this was like a dream come true :-)

I kept massaging and grazing him. He offered no objections. When I wrapped my hand around his already hard cock, he sort of startled for a second and then said "oh fuck it" and let me go to work. I stroked and sucked his cock for a while and he just lay back and closed his eyes. He was verbal, even though he wasn't watching. He was definitely enjoying the session. At one point, I got him to roll over and I spread his ass to find the sweetest pink hole. I buried my face in has ass and could smell and taste the sweat. It was amazing! I ate like the greedy pig I am. He had already started to stroke his cock.

It wasn't long before he asked if he could see mine. I was more than happy to let him. He was fascinated by the thick PA....the fresh ones always are :-) He asked if he could touch it, and I nodded. He reached out slowly and with a bit of hesitation and a look of amazement, he took my hard cock in his hand and gave it a little jerk. I encouraged him to continue and he did. He asked if I could fuck with it in. I told him I could do everything with it in that he can do without one. I smiled and asked if he wanted to find out...he immediately let go of my cock and looked like he wanted to leave....too far??? maybe....

I backed off and then reached for his cock slowly. He didn't stop me. After what seemed like forever, I rolled him back over and worked on his hole with my tongue. While he was groaning, I slid a rubber on my hard cock. As you know, I'm pretty much a confirmed BBer, but with an obviously str8 boy, I'm not gonna take chances on infecting him. He was still floating, and didn't notice as I replaced my tongue with the head of my cock. He was pushing back a little and I was all lubed up and sliding forward when he realized what was happening. He tensed for a second and then said, "is this gonna hurt?" I smiled and replied, "no, really, it won't hurt a bit." From the sounds he was making I'm not really sure if it did or not. All I know is that he reached back and pulled me closer into him.

I rode him slowly at first and then built up a rhythm. His hole was tight and fresh. I was going nuts. He was pulling hard on his cock, when I felt his ass start to convulse. I know he was shooting. That was all I needed, and I filled up the rubber with a very hot load. We both lay there quietly, as our breathing settled. Finally, I pulled out and said "coffee should be ready". He jumped on that and was all ready for a cup. I threw him a wet towel to wipe up with. By the time I came back from the bathroom, with coffee in hand, we were both dressed.

We made small talk about the city, and the night life. He drank his coffee and then said he felt better and was going to head back to his hotel. I confirmed he knew where he was headed and walked him to the door. He reached out his hand to thank me for the coffee. Then all of a sudden he pulled me in for a quick deep kiss. Next thing I knew, he was gone. I hit the shower and then had a very satisfying sleep.

Day one over....who knows what day two will bring......

Powdered sugar all OVER my face

2010-09-07T06:39:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, New Orleans! The Southern Decadence trip was indeed decadent. I have to say that I just love New Orleans. Always have, always will. It had been too long since my last visit (2003, I think). I won't wait that long again!

So, I'll have a post at some point about all the decadent food, and the good friends (new and old), but let's face it, you want to hear about the wild sex, right? Sure you do! There will be a series of posts that chronicle the madness. Teaser - closeted Bi guy who never touched a PA before, never did WS and never was fucked by a PA gets all three, hot late night visitor loves to be throat fucked, hot tattooed bear man, with a beautiful PA loved to have his ass played with....and the drunk straight man I enticed to my hotel room from Canal street at 3am. All of these will be covered over the course of the next few posts.

Arrived at the hotel at about noon. I once again had great luck with Priceline Name Your Own Price. Got a room at the Holiday Inn French Quarter for $50/night. When I arrived, they checked me into a suite on the 15th floor. Very nice for $50. As I was leaving the room to head to the elevator, a guy was getting out and saying to the person in the elevator that he didn't realize it was Southern Decadence until he arrived. He turned around and our eyes met. I gave him a smile and hello. He was hot, sort of a tattoo grunge look, skate shoes, shorts, chained wallet...you get the idea. He did a double take and came over to say Hi.

90 seconds later, we were in my room with his mouth around my cock. He was a good, greedy cocksucker. He knew how to handle a PA. Handling a big gauge PA is not easy, and there are more people who can't do it than people who can. This guy definitely know what he was doing. I really wanted to play with him, but I really wanted to get out into Quarter, so I decided to blow my load down his throat and make plans to connect later on. He was cool with that, as he had just checked in himself. Just as I started to cum, he tugged really hard on my PA with his tongue. I went nuts!! It felt like I can for hours, when of course it was a mere seconds. He had to get a return ticket :-)

I headed out to explore the Quarter. It was as awesome as I remembered. Great art on Royal, the smell of piss/vomit/pine sol on Bourbon, and great food all over. I walked down Bourbon and then headed toward the river and my first beignets since 2003. Damn, I love those things. I sat there listening to the jazz musicians out on the street chowing down those luscious pastries. They aren't easy to eat, especially with a long goatee. I had powered sugar all over my face and didn't give a damn by the time I was done! A quick wipe and wash and I was ready to go again.

Cruised around Bourbon for a while and decided to head back to my hotel for a freshen-up. On the way back, some young cub on the street woofed me. I stopped and smiled and we chatted. He was heading in the same direction, so we walked and talked. Come to find out, he loves WS....as the Church Lady would say....how conveeeeeenient!! Needless to say, he joined me back at my room.

This kid was a definite piss pig. We got to business as soon as we walked in. He was naked before I could even tell him to strip. He was really a hot little cub. I'd say he was about 5'5", tight furry little body. He had a nice round firm butt. He was in his mid-20's. Well, all the fluids from the day had caught up with me and so I was ready before we even started. I had not yet assembled the Patented Portable Party Piss Pool, so we jumped in the tub. He was licking my hard cock slowly and deliberately.

Being a watersports aficionado, I love that I can piss through a hard on on command. That comes in handy, as you can probably guess. There really is nothing more satisfying than feeling your piss fill up some greedy bottom's hole.....but I digress....Anywhoo, we're in the tub with him tonguing my cock. I could feel the stream starting to tickle up my dick. I learned long ago how to make a piss as pleasurable as an orgasm. It helps to concentrate on the sensation as the piss starts to tickle the head of your cock. You know it's coming, just a matter of time. I think sounding has helped too, as it has put me in touch with the sensations in my urethra. All of this makes for an awesome experience for me. I think I enjoy the sensation of the pissing as much as the bottom enjoys taking it.

The piss started to stream, and I controlled it. I typically dole it out in short streams, allowing the bottom to stay on top of the drinking. Sometimes, I'll just force piss and stream hard in their mouth. As the stream started, he clamped onto my cock with his mouth and then did one of my favorite things, he sucked...I mean sucked really hard, like the sucking will pull all the piss out of my already raging hard cock. I just fucking love that. It feels so good. I let him think he was getting it all (it was a very full bladder) then he sucked me off for a while...didn't spill a drop.

I slid my still hard cock out and as I did, I let round two go. He jerked forward to catch it, but I pushed him back onto his ass. He lay there, looking surprised as I covered him from head to toe in my piss. I paid special attention to his cock, which went from soft to rock hard as I directed my stream between his furry thighs. He grabbed his cock and started to stroke is fast and hard. I made him stop. Fucking kid, he's not getting off until I'm ready. Then, when round two was contained, I squatted down and started to lick my piss off every inch of him. It was in my goatee, it was all over me. I'd move to his mouth every now and again to spit the captured piss in there. He was going nuts, loving every minute.

We lay there in the tub covered in piss for what seemed like an hour. We finally got up and rinsed off a little (I mean, I hadn't even had a chance to sleep in the bed yet :-) We headed out to the bed, and I wrapped up his cock and balls with some of my parachute cord with the core removed...great for CBT. Everything was nice and tight so I started playing with his package. He moaned at times and groaned at others. I got busy licking on his piss soaked hole with my tongue. There is nothing finer than a nice smooth hole to lick. He was squirming and grinding into me, and I was hard as a rock. Wasn't long before I asked if he wanted some more piss. He smiled and nodded.

He was on his back and I was between his legs. I got up and slid my cock and PA into his hole without any effort at all. I love a bottom that knows when to be tight and when to relax. When I'm coming at you with a 2ga PA, it's time to relax and let it all in. He did just that. I buried my cock in his ass and then gave him a quick warning to be ready, and to not lose a drop. Now like I said, i had not pissed all day and had a lot built up, I find that when I get into piss play, the very act of holding and portioning it out make me want to piss more. I sprayed a long steady stream into my little piss cub's ass for a while. He was going nuts, very verbal. I could feel the heat as the hot piss swirled around my cock. I started to fuck him hard and fast, and he was stroking his very red, very swollen, bound up cock. Flipped him over and went at him some more. He was so into it, and that always makes me more excited.

We continued to fuck for quite a while and then, I couldn't hold it any more. All that piss surrounding my dick and I was ready to blow. I came hard and then just slowed down to let all of the piss and cum mix together. He held it in nicely as I pulled out, and then spun around with his cock in hand and started to shoot himself. I jumped on his cock with my mouth and swallowed every drop.

He said he wanted to leave with my piss and cum in him, and I thought that was a great idea...He got dressed and headed out, and I took a shower and then caught a few minutes nap, before meeting the gang for dinner.

Funny, I thought I'd get a whole day in one post, but looks like I'm gonna need multiples...hahaha

Too funny

2010-07-12T14:33:00.000-07:00

This has been a funny day. I went out on a date on Friday evening with a guy I met online. Told him up front that I was POZ, he told me he had Herpes 1, but we should still meet. Cool. Met him for dinner and had a nice time. He was a cute cub, nice ink, actually able to hold a conversation, it was all good. We talked for hours until he had to leave for work. When he left, we both agreed to do dinner again.

I sent him a text today, telling him I had a good time, and hope he had a good weekend (he worked all weekend). He replied back that he had fun too, but that he is "a hypochondriac, and didn't feel anything that would make it worth the risk to go any further". I just said no worries. Inside, I felt a little piece of me, a little piece of my soul, flake off and die.

I shared this on Facebook, and because the universe is always looking out for me, I received lots of support from my men :-) Some of the posts were of the screw him nature. I made sure to let everyone know that I wasn't mad at him, it was just the situation. The guy is a nice guy, and I really do wish him the best.

Now, here's where the universe says, "This one's for you!"

As I was sitting here, reading all the kind support from my menses, (yes, I know, menses, plural of mens), I realized that this blow off sounded particularly familiar. I asked myself, "Self, doesn't this sound familiar?" And then I told myself, "Why yes, Self it does." Then I thought.....and thought....and thought some more.

About 4 months ago, I met a guy online. We spoke and were going to get together until I told him I was POZ and then he bailed, and gave me some line about being a hypochondriac, and that he had Herpes, so he understood how I felt blah blah blah. I wrote a much more heart felt blog post about it at that time. Right Here!!

So, yes, it's true, same guy. I felt hurt back then. Again, not because I was interested in the guy, we hadn't even met yet, but because of the fact that he only saw the disease and not me. But... the universe is always kind to me, and it let me forget him, what he looked like, his name, all of it gone. Until the lightbulb went off and I went digging through old emails. Then I laughed.

On this most recent go round, we had only exchanged phone numbers, and not emails. I sent him a text and asked if the email address was his. He said yes. I told him that we had met online 4 months ago, where he handed me the same hypochondriac line after I told him I was POZ...but BEFORE we went out to dinner. He said he thought I looked familiar.

I said "Yeah, I'm glad I was only rejected by the same guy twice. It would have sucked if you were two different guys."

He just said "Damn."

I replied "At least the last time, you got freaked out by the HIV before I spent $65 on dinner. Too fucking funny!!!"

Then I told him, "You're adorable, fun, smart, and a great catch. I would suggest you go ahead and pass on us POZ guys, we're too much for you right now :-)"

So you see, the universe has once again shown me that everything is not always as it seems, and that even in a bad day, there is a smile!

Wasting Time

2010-06-18T07:18:00.001-07:00

Things have been tough with my Mom since my Dad died. She's gotten really bitter and angry and pretty much sucks the life out of you every time you talk to her. She wasn't always that way, but 10+ years of caring for my Dad in poor health has really taken its toll. My sister and I both talk about it, and we just haven't really known where to go with it. While I was up at my sister's place for my Dad's memorial, my sister decided to talk to my mother about her spiral into bitterness. I didn't realize that they were having "the conversation" until it was over.

In that conversation, something happened that told me clearly that my sister really "gets it" and reaffirmed my love and respect for her. My mom told my sister that she envied me. She envied the fact that I didn't have a care in the world. She envied the fact that nothing bothered me. She envied the fact that I never let anything stop me from doing what I wanted. She was always worried because I didn't seem to take things like the financial crisis and other issues that could impact me seriously. Rather than save as much as possible, I took trips to Mexico to cave dive in the Cenotes of the Riviera Maya. Rather than sock it all away for "my future", I spend thousands to cover my body with ink. My sister laughed. She said, "You miss the whole point. He has plenty of concerns, and plenty of things to be worried about, but he enjoys every minute of life IN SPITE OF all of that."

I've been living with HIV for over 15 years now. I've lost partners, friends, loved ones to the disease. I've seen friends gay bashed, been bashed myself, and hated just for being who we are. But you know, overall, LIFE IS GOOD! Every day is an adventure, every breath an opportunity for something amazing. When I was in my MBA program, we were asked to develop our personal mission statement. It's done a lot in management programs. The personal mission statement is yours and yours along. It is as unique as each individual. Some are pages, some are deep and wide and some just a few words. Mine is very simple:

Life is short!

You're either living life or wasting time.

DON'T WASTE TIME!!!

That's it. Sort of personal mission Haiku (yeah I know, doesn't fit the Haiku rules, but you get the idea).

If I lose my job, I lose my health care. If I lose my job, I lose my house. My dogs are getting old, they will be gone soon. The meds make me feel like shit some days. I'm hated by a large portion of the country and even the world just because I'm who I am, even though they don't know me.....god, the list goes on and on.

SO FUCKING WHAT??!?!?!

My woes are no greater than anyone else, and in most cases, pale in comparison to those living with AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa, those persecuted and threatened with life in prison or even the death penalty for being gay, kids in our own streets without a home, a meal, a place to stay warm and dry, kids killing themselves because they are different, and bullied for being different.

I vow every day, that I will LIVE LIFE! Not only will I live it, I'll ENJOY it!! And I do. I am blessed with a roof over my head, I'm still not dead (so that 's a plus), a job that I love. I get to spend time with friends, photograph the beauty of the world, listen to the sounds that make up our existence. When I want to go, I go. When I want to play, I play. When I want to laugh, I laugh. I've been single for over 14 years this month, and I'm as happy now as I have ever been with any man in my life. I go to the movies by myself when I want to see a movie and can't find a partner in crime. I have no problem traveling alone. I think nothing of booking a hotel for the weekend in Orlando and going to the theme parks on my own. Dining alone at a restaurant is not an issue for me. Driving to the lake or the beach and just being, is not intimidating to me.

All of this is because I REFUSE to waste time! I refuse to sit around in tears of woe because I am single. I refuse to dwell on a disease and medications that daily chip away at my body. I refuse to crawl into a hole and hide. And I WILL NOT WAIT! Now is the time to laugh, to play to have fun. It's no secret if you have read this blog at all that I am a PIG!! I AM A HUGE PIG :@) I've seen people friend me on Facebook only to tell me that my exploits are a bit much for them and then unfriend me. That's cool. I make NO apologies. I love every fuck, piss, blow job, flogging I give, sounding session, spitting, kissing, spanking, groping, cumming, you name it. It means I'm ALIVE and living every minute. I will make no apologies for that.

In the end, I think my sister's conversation with my Mom might have helped. Every time I talk to my Mom, I always tell her to LIVE HER ADVENTURE! I think she is finally getting it. I really hope so....I'm happy that I get it!!

Saying GoodBye

2010-06-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

Last week came on so quickly. Since my Dad passed on Thanksgiving, we were waiting for the time that we could say goodbye properly. Our plan from the beginning had been to scatter his ashes in the Cape Cod Canal. My Dad loved to fish and he spent many many hours fishing on the canal. At one time he held the record for the largest striped bass caught from land in the Canal. It was close to 5 feet long. Dad also proposed to my Mom at the top of the Railroad Bridge. All things considered, it was the best place for his final rest, and it was where he said he wanted to be. We planned to wait until June so that we could avoid the icy in the canal.

So, time flew by, and there I was in the airport in Tampa waiting for my flight to Boston....my delayed by 2 hours flight to Boston :-) I read an article while I was waiting about one line of thinking about what happens to us after we die. The short version of this article was that our perception of time is rooted in our physical existence. We perceive past, present and future, because of out physical ties to space and time. Without those physical ties, the author suggested, we float freely in time and space, full of potential and able to chose any direction and no direction. He posited that the possibilities are infinite, as the physical ties that root us are removed. A lot of this was based on Einstein and time and Quantum physics. It really got me thinking. As I finally sat on the plane, I was just engulfed in a sense of peace and well being. When it's all over, it never was or would be. We just are, pure and simple.

The next few days were a flurry of activity. In addition to preparing for the memorial service and the scattering of Dad's ashes, I was staying with my sister and her family. My nephew (10) and my niece (8) are great kids. I don't get to see them much, but when I do, I like to make the most of it. So, I went to the baseball games, and took them out shopping, and played Wii with them (what a fucking workout that Wii shit is!!). My sister and I laughed as we always have. We are 2 years apart and I can honestly say, I have the best sister on the planet.

Saturday came and the memorial service was beautiful. I drove the bus, and it was a very short bus :-) No sooner did I open my mouth, then the tears started and the throat closed. I swore I was over all the emotion. But as I stood there in front of friends and family that I had not seen for years, it struck me that Dad was not there. And then I remembered the article and realized that Dad was wherever and whenever he chose to be. We shared a lot of stories about Dad, and laughed...a lot. We had arranged for a buffet lunch and as I walked around to all of the tables, thanking everyone for coming, and chatting, I learned even more about my Dad. People shared funny stories with me that I had never heard before. It was a great tribute to a man who was loved by many.

The next day, we were supposed to go out on the boat to scatter his ashes. The weather did not want to cooperate. Between the fog and the pending thunderstorms, we had to cancel the boat trip. Not being ones to give up easily, my sister and her husband and I set about figuring out how to scatter Dad's ashes without a boat. The canal has a steep bank that leads down to a steep band of rocks and boulders before the water. We weren't sure we'd be able to get close enough to pour the ashes in. We were going to need to get them in from a distance. We toyed with putting the ashes in various porous containers and then using a fishing rod to cast the container into the water and reel it in , allowing the ashes to seep out. We finally settled on a somewhat crazy idea. We divided thee ashes up into 6 paper sandwich bags, one each for me, my mom and sister, her husband and two kids (my sister is eco friendly so these were highly biodegradable.) We then tore a few slits at the top of the bags. The plan was to use my nephew's lacrosse sticks to catapult the ashes the 20 fee to the water.

We all piled into the car and took Dad on his last drive. We drove by the two houses that my Dad built from the ground up, we lived in both of them as we grew up. When I say from the ground up, I mean everything from digging by hand the hole for the foundation to laying the bricks for foundation and chimneys to erecting walls and roof and doing all the electrical and plumbing. We then drove to the Canal and spent some time at the Railroad Bridge remembering Dad. There were too many people around to not cause suspicion with lacrosse sticks and paper bags, so we drove down to the parking area near Dad's favorite fishing spot. We slid down the slippery bank of grass and caught ourselves with the trees at the bottom. We said a few words of goodbye and the each of us took our bag, loaded our lacrosse sticks and "cast" Dad out into one of his favorite places in the world. The bags sank quickly and we knew that the bags would dissolve and the ashes would be picked up in the current and take Dad on a new journey. I tossed a wreath of flowers which was quickly caught in the current. We walked along the service road, watching that wreath as it floated peacefully down the waters that my Dad had loved so much. After about 20 minutes of watching and following, we said our final goodbyes and headed back to the car. On the way home, we drove by some of Dad's other favorite places, and laughed and told stories to my niece and nephew about their Papa. I really couldn't think of a better way to say goodbye.

The rest of the week went by quickly. My sister and I get to escape for a day to P-town, and we had a blast. We walked and shopped for 7 or 8 hours and had a great lunch at the Lobster Pot, one of my favorite places to eat in P-town. I got to see my nephew play in more baseball games, and got have lots of laughs with both my niece and nephew. The time went by so quickly. As I sat at the airport in Boston, waiting to board my flight home, I wondered at how quickly time went by, and then I was reminded of that article I read and realized that it was all relative. I still think about that article. Without the physical world to anchor us, it's all just infinite potential. For some that may be an uneasy thought, but for me, it sounds like Heaven!!

Hot weekend with a twist

2010-05-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend was another Men4Bareback.com play party. As always, it was good times!! There were a bunch of regulars and some hot new guys as well. I really don't know how anyone could come to one of these parties and not have a great time, I was lucky enough to fuck a few of the new guys, and play with some of my old favorites. I'm not going to go into all of the details, because I have described a number of these parties in great detail before.

On the way home, I was still horned up from the party, so I decided to stop by the bookstore to take care of business. I paid for my theater ticket and headed into the main theater. There were a few guys hanging out in the back. I took a seat and freed my still hard cock to stroke for a while. One of the guys in the back, a hot bear, came over and got down between my legs and started to work on my cock. He had a hot mouth and knew how to work a cock with a big PA. I let him do his thing for a while and then pulled him up so I could work his cock. He had a beautiful cock, not really long but VERY thick. We traded cocks and mouths for a while. He had nice big pierced nipples and I wasted no time chewing on them. His pits were just ripe, how I like 'em, so I chewed on those for a while and let him tasted them in my mouth and goatee. It wasn't long before he was dripping in my mouth. He started to shake, and I sucked harder and faster. He shot a huge load in my mouth. Not being content to enjoy all the creamy goodness on my own, I stood up and gave him a big, wet, sloppy kiss. We swapped his cum back and forth for what seemed like hours, and then we dressed and went our separate ways.

When I came out of that theater, I headed to the "Alternative" theater - Gay porn, go figure. "Alternative" for me would be like dung beetles or something. Gay, Str8, Bi?? It's all porn with cocks and holes, right? Anyhow, in the Alternative theater, I walked in and interrupted a guy with a huge cock fucking this little twink. The twink was very effeminate and Asian, and reminded me of a Geisha girl. He covered his mouth when he giggled and all. Anyhow, I told them to continue and not mind me. They did and I went around to watch the huge cock practically ripping open this little guy's ass. So hot. The guy pulled out and when I knew for sure he was clean (you never know at the bookstore) I pulled it into my mouth and sucked on it for a while. He was just about to cum when I took his cock and guided it back into the boy's ass. Good times.

I went into the big theater, and I was the only one there, so I just sat and stroked my cock for a while. In a while, a Str8 couple came in and made for one of the side rooms with doors that lock. The guy came out and talked to me. He said his wife liked to jerk guys off onto her tits. Did I want to join in? I'm always a little wary of these offers, as they are often working girls with their pimp or cop stings. I told him I'd think about it and went to talk to the guy at the counter. He confirmed that they had been there for a while and she was jerking guys off on her tits. No charge and NOT cops. The husband supposedly liked to stroke his cock while he watched his wife jerk guys off. Sounded like a fun time, so I went in and told them "I'm in!"

I went in and closed and locked the door and she immediately dropped her top and got on her knees on a Yoga mat they had laid out on the floor. These guys came prepared. I stepped up and pulled out my cock and she gasped. She had never seen a PA piercing in person before. She was really in awe of my 2ga stainless steel ring. Her husband was also interested. He pulled out a beautiful long fairly thick cock and started to stroke it. He was probably 6'4" and thin, so I knew he's have a nice piece. She had her fist around my cock and was stroking me as well. She kept asking questions about the PA, and he did too. The typical questions: "Did it hurt to get done? Does it hurt now? Have I ever fucked with it in?" Same old same old. Then she asked..."Do people ever worry about cracking a tooth?" I smiled, as I knew where this was leading. I told her that it was an acquired taste and that you had to sort of push the ring firmly to the side with your tongue while you did the deed. She smiled and said, "Oh I wanna try that." Her husband had this weird look on his face. He said that she NEVER did anything other than jerk guys off. Many guys have asked, but she never does. He was actually pretty excited. He encouraged her and leaned in real close now on his knees as well to watch.

For a first timer, she was pretty good. Not a pro, but not bad at all. Within a few moment, her hubby was moaning as he stroked his big old cock. I was tempted to ask him to join in, but I didn't get a vibe like he wanted to do more than watch and stroke. Shortly, he backed up and reached into a bag they had and pulled out a video camera. He asked if I minded. I told him no as long as he kept my face out of it (like the tattoos aren't a dead giveaway, but still). I told him I'd want to see it before I left to make sure. He was cool with it. So, he got back down close and filmed while he stroked with his free hand. I told her I wanted to come on her tits when I was ready and she let me pull out of her mouth. I dropped a nice load on both her tits. Once he saw me shooting, her hubby stood up and dropped a load on top of mine. I then surprised them both by leaning down and licking up a good portion of both our loads. He looked shocked and pleased at the same time. Then he gave me a smile and leaned down and cleaned up what was left.

I checked out the video and it didn't show anything too identifying, so I said cool. They said they watch them at home together when they play. They both said they hoped to see me there again. I pulled up my shorts and left. As I was walking out, I heard him tell her "that was amazing" I smiled!!!

A few vids of my Hegar the Horrible Sounds

2010-04-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

Hegar the horrible, er incredible

2010-04-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

Last week, I ordered a new set of sounds...from Amazon.com of all places. Did you know you could buy all sorts of kinky shit on Amazon these days? Seriously, I had no idea. I know that they had third party sellers of books and movies and electronics, but didn't realize that you could by whips and vibrators and...well, sounds. I was doing a google search for sounds and up came Amazon. Crazy!! I was looking for a set of Hegar sounds (which are actually Uterine dilators) and found a set for $29.99 with $6.98 shipping from a seller, Healthy and Active. Checked their feedback and decided that $37 was a good deal to check out a new supplier.

The shipping was not the fastest. They shipped via UPS Basic 2. Have you heard of this one? Apparently, it is cheaper than Ground shipping. UPS ships it to the US Post Office closest to your location and then the USPS delivers it to you. It was not a big deal just sort of weird. The Post Office is like 2 blocks from my office and 2 blocks further from the UPS office. So I had to wait an extra day to get it than if it had shipped via Ground. Of course, considering that I already had 4 complete sets of sounds, what was a day, right? Well, considering that my cock starts dripping the second I order some kinky toy online, an extra day was excruciating :@)

The Hegar sounds arrived in good shape, with decent packaging. Hegar sounds, as I noted are really not sounds, but rather Uterine dilators. Of course, the twisted in the world have adapted them to be used as sounds. Go figure. This innovation brought to you by the same people who brought you Gerbils as a butt toy and Melons as blow up doll substitutions :@) Hegar sounds are short (only 8") and have a slight curve, less than Pratt's and much less than VanBuren's.

You'd think that behind straight sounds like Dittels and Bakes, they'd be the easiest, but I'd say no. Here's why. They are hollow most of the time, so they are light. The thickest one is still lighter than my thinnest Van Buren. This means that gravity will not work as your friend. The pressure inside your urethra trying to push them out is stronger than gravity trying to pull them in. This was the first set of sounds EVER where I needed to actually push them in gently. For that reason and the next reason I'm going to get into, I DO NOT recommend these for beginners.

The other thing about these is that they are short...I mean %50 shorter than any other sounds. Most of my sounds are 12-14", these are only 8". When I use a straight sound like the Dittel or Bakes, even with my fairly short 7" of cock, I usually have the sound in to the last 1.5" handle. This is because the part of your cock that you see, and in my case that isn't buried in fat, is only part of the total length. To the actual base of your cock, where your urethra takes a turn at Cobb's Curve to go through the middle of your prostate, is usually much longer than what you see. So, if I can take make 10" or more of a straight sound disappear into my cock, that means, I can take the entire 8" of the Hegar with no problems. For me, this is a good thing. For a newbie it might cause some angst. You're sounding along and all of a sudden, the sound is gone, fully inside your cock with nothing to use to pull it out. The good news is that there really is NO WAY for it to go past Cobb's Curve into your bladder, it just doesn't have enough curve, and once you go soft, has nowhere to go but out. I can see someone freaking out, however, if this was their first sounding experience. So, between the need to "gently" push the sound in and the fact that even in a shorter cock, you can actually push it ALL in, I'd say to save this for a little more experience.

OK, for those with experience, or those who want something to look forward to, let me tell you, these things ROCK MY WORLD!!!! I lubed up and realized pretty quickly that gravity wasn't gonna do it. Fortunately for me, I've spent a lot of time with rubber worms and such which all require gently "feeding" down the cock tube. The slight curve is definitely helpful, but also makes it more challenging if you don't know what to do. Basically, you need to let the sound in with the curve in one direction and then, gently rotate it so that the curve is in the other direction as you get further down your cock. It's all about knowing your plumbing and knowing how to push gently but not force.

I was able to gently get the first one down and in. All of a sudden, my cock tensed and it was gone!!! Totally swallowed inside my cock. I just about jizzed right then. The way that it curves, when it drops down, it sort of catches in the curve of your urethra and doesn't just slide right out. I found that if I pushed my cock gently toward my balls, it would release from the curve and pop out. If I stood my cock up toward my belly, it would slide in deeper. To be completely honest, if I was new to sounding, I think I might have been a little freaked. It slid in and then stayed in and when I moved my cock in one direction, it went in deeper. For me, heaven, as a newbie, thoughts of a trip to the ER would probably be going through my head :@)

Anyhow, I let it sit fully inside my cock and moved my cock around to get it to drop deeper or pop out. There is something so hot about adjusting your cock a little and seeing the tip of a thick metal rod just peeking out of the opening of your cock. I switched the first one out for a bigger size and then again for an even bigger size. Each one slid in easily as I pressed it down. Even for me, who has been doing cock stuffing for many years, it was still a little weird actually pushing it in, especially when I always tell people NOT to do that. But I know what good feeling and bad feeling is down there, so I felt fine with it.

I also found that these were perfect for fucking your cock. With the longer sounds, you have to be careful that they don't bottom out harshly when fucking your cock with them. With these, in order to hold them, they didn't even reach the base of my cock, so they were much easier to slide in and out without concern. Every time I'd take one out, it was covered with thick precum....LOTS of it. It would cling to the rod and slowly drip off. I would hold the rod above my lips and let the gooey clear stuff drizzle onto my tongue....HEAVEN!! (Another note, be really mindful of not putting the sounds in your mouth and then back in your cock. Your mouth is a cesspool of bacteria, and everyone I know who has ever gotten a UTI or bladder infection from sounding did something stupid that involved saliva, either theirs or someone elses). If I'm done with that particular size, however, I love to lick off all the lube and precum. The sound is always warm (body temp) so it is a nice feeling on your tongue.

After a few hours of this exquisite torture, my cock was just crazy sensitive. I find that the sounding does something to the sensitivity of the outside of your cock as well as the inside, so after a few hours, even a gentle stroke brings you right to the edge. The nice thing about this, is that you can edge for a long time. I bring myself close to blasting maybe 50 or more times, just with one touch. Finally, when I couldn't take it any more, I pressed my cock down and let the rod slip out then stood it up and it got sucked in fast. My prostate was quivering by this time and every muscle started to shake. By every muscle, I mean EVERYone EVERYwhere. My legs were quivering, my ass was quivering, my abs were pulsing, and then POW, BAMM, ZAP, WHAMM, ZOWIE. My intense orgasm shot the entire sound out of my cock and a HUGE load followed. I used the sound as a dip stick and got a lot of my cum all over it and then spent the next few minutes, dipping and sucking my load off the metal dipstick.

Yeah, I definitely got my $37 worth in my first session. The next session was just as good :@)

Str8cam Lube, OMG!!!

2010-04-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

Last week, when I ordered my new Lupe Fuentes Mini Lotus Fleshlight, I also ordered a 4 pack of Str8cam Lube. If you aren't familiar with Str8cam.com, you owe it to yourself to check it out. Jeff, the owner and Chief Masturbator is a great guy. He strokes his beautiful cock live on web cam twice a week and saves the sessions for members to download. This guy really should be gay. He has as much creativity as any gay man I know. Many of his sessions have a theme. He's fucked pumpkins for Halloween, dressed in all sorts of hot attire for various holidays and special occasions. He uses all sorts of toys. He has an EXTREMELY loyal following. When he starts the sessions, he makes sure to personally welcome each member as they sign in. In the end, we are usually treated to his beautiful naked body which he abuses for his loyal followers. He's got a beautiful hairy chest, one of the nicest cocks you'll ever see, a beautiful ass, a great smile, and I would be remiss not to mention his stunning eyes. This guy has THE MOST BEAUTIFUL eyes you have ever seen. Sadly for us, he is also straight and married. That's what makes it all the more fun. This very straight, married guy gets naked twice a week and strokes his cock to a normally substantial orgasm for his gay followers.

Jeff is also a true entrepreneur. He has branched out from his webcam stuff to a line of Str8cam Gear. This includes jockstraps, briefs, cum rags, and lube. All of these bear the really adorable Str8cam Jeff cartoon character. The guy really is a genius. He's got a huge following of gay men buying his gear, watching his J/O sessions, and they all know he is completely unattainable. I'm thinking this is part of the allure for many.

OK, so back to the lube. Jeff's been really pushing the hell out of this lube. It looks and feels exactly like cum. Sadly it doesn't taste like cum (I checked) but you can't have everything :@) I've read a lot of reviews on his site and on Twitter. I figured I'd give it a shot. Let me first say that I am a complete lube snob. For single handed action, I typically prefer silicone lube (Gun Oil Silicone to be precise). There is something about silicone that I just love. For Fleshjack and Fleshlight lube, however, silicone is a no-no. I've been using Astroglide and getting good results. When I asked Jeff last week how his lube was with his Fleshie products, he said it was awesome and made them feel most like the real thing. I figured what the hell, and went out and ordered the 4 bottle for $45 deal (which includes shipping). To be honest, the main reason that I ordered it was because of Jeff. I admire the fact that he is such an entrepreneur, and that he is building this "empire" from the ground up. I also appreciate the fact that he is so open with himself and his body with thousands of gay fans. It doesn't hurt that he's a charmer to boot.

I placed my order at Str8camLube and received an email from Jeff thanking me for the order. He also tweeted his thanks. It was shipped in just a few days and came Priority Mail via the USPS. According to Jeff, he'll ship anywhere. When I got home from work yesterday, it was in the mailbox. It had been there most of the day in the warm Florida sun, baking inside the mailbox. I couldn't wait to get it out of the package and on my dick. I soaked my new Fleshlight and got it nice and warm, then I drizzled some of the still warm Str8cam lube into the very realistic pussy opening. A little of it ran out and I swear, it looked like the hottest creampie from the hottest porn. The visual itself was quiet a turn on. By the time I slid my very hard, very wet cock in, the anticipation was killing me. Jeff was right, it did make the fake pussy feel like the real thing. It's no secret that my dick likes the boy and the girls. My heart will always belong to the boys, but my dick doesn't care :@) Anyhow, I worked the Fleshy up and down and I have to say, a Fleshie never felt sooo good. I stopped counting, but I think I'm up to 15+ Fleshlight/Fleshjacks at this point. (I know, it's a sickness). The combination of the soft, supple, warm fake flesh and the Str8cam lube was just amazing. I pounded and edged for almost 2 hours and then felt my eyes roll back in my head as I shot a huge load deep into the pussy. One of my favorite parts of playing with a Fleshie is pulling out my cock and then letting the cum drip out of the opening. The visual is great, and usually horns me up for another round. The Str8cam lube mixed with my cum made it look like I'd shot a lot more up there than I really did. I got hard again just watching it all dribble out.

The Str8cam lube is the real deal. The consistency is perfect, the visual (looking just like cum) is awesome. I'm usually not a big fan of water based lubes, but this one is the best of all that I've tried over the years (and trust me, I've tried MANY). I didn't need to relube, which is always an issue for me. I hate sticky, tacky lube that dries out too fast. Turns me right off. The Str8cam lube went on slippery and stayed that way, never needed to relube.

I'm not sure how long the 4 bottles will last (cuz I'm addicted to masturbation), but I know when I'm done, I'll be ordering another 4 bottles. Jeff is now offering free samples, and you'd be a fool not to request a sample and try it out. Head over the St8cam Lube for the details.

And Jeff, if you ever decide you want to switch teams, I'm happy to be your mentor :@)

One year of missing Chief

2010-03-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

It was a year ago today that I said goodbye to my sweet Chief. His ashes are on my nightstand, as he loved to curl up in the bed. 99 is back to her old self, although she still favors one side and twists a little weird when I scratch that side. Max is just happy to have his kingdom back in order. I love my babies so much. Every day I tell them that. I wish things could have been different a year ago, but what's done is done. I don't think a day goes by that I don't think of Chief. Today, thinking of him is a little painful. Anniversaries are like that, I guess. The two posts below are from one year ago today and tomorrow. They are the best way to share what happened.

March 30, 2009

Today has been a bad day….no, strike that, today has been a horrible day. This morning, Chief, my youngest and biggest dog attacked 99 my oldest and smallest. I think he was trying to protect me, as 99 grumbled when I got her to let go of a piece of paper that she had. The second she grumbled, Chief was on her. The attack lasted for what seemed like forever, but was probably 10 minutes. He would not let go. I beat on him with a broomstick, pulled on him, yelled at him, threw water at him. Nothing worked. By the time it was over, my house was covered in blood and 99 could barely move. I rushed her to the vet and she is being observed. They are concerned he may have nicked her jugular, as she is bleeding into her throat. She is on huge doses of morphine, and they are watching and waiting.

This was not the first time that Chief attacked. Almost 2 years ago, he went after Max, my middle dog. Max required emergency surgery to save his life. I refused to give Chief up, so I made due. I structured my life so that Max and Chief were always separated. When they had to be together, like in the car, they both had on basket muzzles. I sacrificed in a number of ways, so that I would not have to give up Chief.

This time, I couldn't sacrifice any more. It was pretty obvious that Chief would not be adoptable. He was a danger to other dogs. Frankly, I was, for the first time, afraid for what could happen to me if he turned on me. I made the most difficult decision of my life and brought Chief in to be euthanized.

It was the worst thing I’ve ever been through. He ate treats out of my hand right up until his last breath, and then I just held him and cried. I feel like someone has torn out my heart. Chief was such a lover to me. He showered me with kisses every moment of the day, and his tail wagged so hard that the staff at the vet’s where I’d board him always said he left bruises from his tail wagging. He loved to curl up at my feet and would push my hand with his muzzle if the rubbing and petting stopped for too long. The bottom line is he just plain loved me. No matter what, good day or bad, he loved me. It doesn’t seem right that I could make the decision to end that love, but I did and now I have to live with that. There are all sorts of reasons that friends and family tell me I did the right thing. I’m not sure I believe any of them. I just know that I wish today would start over and everything would have been different.

As he took his last breath, I told him I loved him and that we’d be together again. I hope I was right.

March 31, 2009

Last night was rough. I brought 99 home from the vet and she was in lots of pain. The vet thought it best that she be at home where she would be less stressed. She said the first 72 hours would be touch and go. So, 99 came home and dropped to the floor a few feet inside the front door. She stayed there for the next 12 hours, crying. It just hurt to watch her. Her breathing was fast and she cried with each breath. I gave her the pain meds and prayed that she would get some peace. I spent the night between my bed and the couch, sleeping an hour in the bed and then laying on the couch and softly petting her head. She just kept crying. I covered her with a blanket and gave her a little pillow for her head. She wouldn’t eat or drink the water I left for her.

In the morning, she finally moved from her spot in front of the front door and drank some water. I was thrilled, she was drinking water. She wouldn’t eat, except for the peanut butter I was feeding her from my fingers. She was also not crying any more. She looked haggard and old, and swollen. But she was still my girl. This afternoon, we went back to the vet for a change of her pressure bandages. God, there was so much blood. When the bandages came off, I got to see the true extent of the damage. She is torn up, and her neck, shoulders, and one side are swollen huge. There are gashes everywhere. The spot on the front of her neck where the blood pooled is the size of a softball. My baby is in rough shape.

The Dr was pleased that the bleeding appears to have stopped. 99’s gums were nice and pink and surprisingly through all of this, her tail was wagging. Every single person working there popped their head in to see how she was doing. Everyone loves 99. They all said the same, she is such a good girl, she is such a lover, she is the sweetest dog. They were all right. She is all of those things. She came into my life when I was just restarting it. Newly sober, and without many friends she rescued me. She was my companion when I felt alone, she pushed her way into my life and it has never been the same since. Her wagging tail is a given at any time on any day. Her pain these past few days has been hard for me to watch, because she deserves a life free from it.

The Dr says I need to keep an eye on her for infection. She gave me some high calorie prescription food, which 99 is loving. She can have as much as often as she wants. Right now, she is sleeping on the floor, and hopefully, she will continue throughout the night.

So, I am optimistic for 99 and her recovery. She has a road ahead of her, but she is walking it, and she won’t be alone. Still, the house is so very quiet. Chief is still in my head and my heart. Last night while I was sleeping there was barking. I kept telling Chief to settle down until I finally realized it was Maxwell….that hit me. This morning, I was so focused on 99 that I was able to pull myself together and go to work for a few hours. Half way there, Chief would not get out of my head, so I arrived at work with red eyes and an aching throat. My coworkers gave me a very nice card on the loss of a pet, and that wrecked me. I picture Chief now, nudging my hand while I am trying to type. He did that all the time and it used to annoy the hell out of me. How many times did I tell him to go lay down? How many times did I push his head away so I could work? How many times did he run around the house like a madman, wagging tail knocking things over and off shelves? The house was never quiet with Chief around. And yet now it is. It is so very quiet. Max and 99 are older, and just not spastic like Chief was. They love quietly and softly, while he loved loudly and hard. I’ve been very fortunate, so many friends wishing me and 99 well. So many people understanding. I guess my head knows the deal. Unfortunately, my heart is going to take awhile….soon….I hope…

Grizzly Fest at Sawmill Campground

2010-03-29T05:40:00.000-07:00

After the great weekend at the Parliament House, I have been exchanging text messages with one half of the bear couple I played with on Sunday. These guys were lots of fun, and I was looking forward to playing with them again. Thursday, I sent a message saying that I wished we lived closer and could play more. I got back a response that they would be at the Sawmill Campground all weekend for Grizzly Fest. The Sawmill Campground is a gay campground about 1 hour from Tampa or Orlando (about 40 minutes from my house). The have cabins, RV sites, tent sites with electricity and water and primitive camp sites. They also have a number of bars, restaurants, a General Store, and a beautiful heated CLOTHING OPTIONAL pool. I've heard from lots of friends that they have a great time when they go. Living only 40 minutes away, you'd think I'd have gone by now, but nope. Anyhow, Grizzly Fest was sponsored by the Backwoods Bears and from the list of events on the Sawmill website, it sounded like it would be a good time. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a princess when it comes to camping. If my accommodations don't include hot/cold running water, electricity and heat/ac, I'm not gonna be there. The Sawmill does have cabins that have all of these, but they were sold out. Fortunately, I live close, so I didn't mind driving up and back.

Friday after work, I hit the Army/Navy Store for some goodies. Got a pair of black tactical pants, some camo t-shirts and 50 feet of nylon cord. The nylon cord is great once you remove the core for tying up cock and balls. Got home, showered, and waited. The traffic up I75 to the Sawmill is a bitch in the evenings, so I waited until 8pm to head out. Made it to the Sawmill in about 40 minutes and checked in and then went looking for my bear pals. Luckily, they were in a little encampment of bears right across from the pool where I parked. We chatted for a while and then they went off to take a nap. I decided to walk around and check things out.

I headed through the pool area (very nice by the way) over to the bars and leather store. Checked out the wares at the leather store and were pleased to see that they sold bottles of J-lube powder. Clearly, they were prepared for REAL pigs :@) Outside in the courtyard and also inside in the dance bar, there were a few hundred bears sitting around playing BINGO. I found this very strange. With all these hot bears around, why BINGO? Well, what the hell, can't last forever. I sat and watched at the bears played BINGO. I was just wasting time until the real action got underway. Finally, the BINGO was over and the dance music started inside in the club. I headed in for a water and to wait. After a while, one of my buds showed up to pick up T-shirts that he had bought from one of the vendors. WoofTEASE does Bear related t-shirts, hoodies, etc. I was checking out their designs. They had one for Pig Bottom and I asked the guy where the one was for Pig TOP. He told me there is no such thing. Clearly, he doesn't get out much :@)

We headed back over to the camp site and they got ready to head to the Bear Den. The Bear Den is a hot little play space, and that was where all the action was going to be. It was funny listening to the bears sitting around the fire. Some of them were talking about how gross eating cum was, even their own....WHAT THE FUCK!!?!?!??!?! Then someone mentioned the trough at the Bear Den for watersports....a number of them were grossed out....ewwwwwww....SERIOUSLY???!?!??! Clearly this was a vanilla group of bears. Sad, really, a few of them were kinda cute. So, I told my buds to point me in the direction of the Den, they decided to come along.

Got to the Den and checked in, and the boys gave me a tour. Fun little play space with hay or sawdust all over the floor. There were 4 slings, and lots of other areas to play. Things were just warming up, in other words, everyone was being all shy. I love when you go to a play space and people waste the first hour walking around a playing coy cuz they don't want to be the first. God forbid anyone should think they're a pig. Luckily, I don't suffer from that hang-up, so I pulled the boys aside and said let's do it. They weren't feeling the sling, so we went over to the big bed. I bent the big bear over and proceeded to chow down on his sweet ass. He loved having me eat his ass at the P-house, and was moaning and groaning as I went to town. His partner was on his back and some other bear I didn't know was eating his ass. We carried on like this for quite a while and had a pretty decent sized audience. That was fine with me, I love it when a crowd forms and watches!!

When both bears had their fill of getting their ass eaten we headed outside (there was a Beer Bust going on outside the play space). We stood and talked with friends of theirs and chilled. Of course, once I've got started, standing around and chatting is not where I'm at. Two of their friends were this nice bear couple that they had told me about. One of them was a pig bottom and wanted to get me over to his sling. Wasn't long before we headed over to get nasty.

The sling was in one of those 8x10 screen rooms that people put up at campsites. It was a great setup. We were no sooner there than he was on his knees working my cock with his mouth. He was good and knew what he was doing. With the sling right there, however, I was antsy to move on. I had him jump in the sling and started to finger his hole. It was clear that he was prepped for this. His hole was lubed and open. I slid my cock with my 2ga PA in smoothly and started to pound his ass. His ass felt great and I was having a great time.

At some point he said that when I was done, he wanted to be on his knees and let me piss on him. (He had on his yellow jockstrap and yellow socks). I said, why wait, I can piss IN you right now. His eyes got HUGE and he was like YESSSSS YESSSSS DO IT!!!! I wish he had been into it ;-) So, I told him to lay still and let me do my thing. Over the years, I've gotten really good at pissing with a hardon. It takes a little bit to get the head space down and focus the feelings in the hard cock from heading toward cumming to pissing. Typically in a minute or less, I can go from fucking to pissing without losing my hard on. I let go with a hard long stream of warm piss. I could feel as it pooled in his ass and surrounded my cock. When I was done, I resumed fucking and fucked that piss into his ass for quite a while. When I finally pulled out, I told him to hold it in and not squirt all over me. He did a nice job holding it, and then I went to work on his ass with my fingers. My piss was running out of his ass onto my hand as I worked on his hole. It was very hot.

I worked his hole for quite a while moving from fingers to toys and back again. He had a little Tupperware container of J-lube that he would had me when I needed more lube. I was giving him shit about his little Tupperware container. Did he get it from his mom? Did he go to Tupperware parties often? shit like that. He was laughing and then felt weird that he was laughing. I told him my philosophy was that sex should be fun and if you couldn't laugh during sex, you needed to try again. I kept adding fingers. 2 fingers for a while and then 3 fingers. He was loving it. He said it had been a year since anyone had been able to get to 4 fingers. Well, nothing like a challenge. Wasn't long before I was up to 4 fingers in his sweet ass. I was all the way up to the base of my thumb and he was going wild. We stayed right there for quite a while, as I could tell he wasn't ready for the whole fist. No matter, it's all the same to me, as long as the bottom is groaning with pleasure, I'm happy.

We finally cleaned up and headed back to the Den. I headed off to see what kind of trouble I could find for myself. Didn't take long and some guy was on his knees with my cock in his mouth. Now, as I mentioned there was a Beer Bust going on as part of the event. This is not always a good thing. I find that most guys who have had a few too many (or even just a few) get sloppy when it comes to sex. This guy was not doing a great job on my cock. His teeth were really too involved and it was starting to be unpleasant. I gave him a pat and headed on. Found another guy who was really hot. Nice hard cock and beautifully hairy chest. We were going along fine until he decided that because I had on a ball stretcher, he had an open invitation to squeeze. My friends, when a man's balls are pulled to tight in a ball stretcher that you could see your face in their reflections, it is probably a good idea to start slowly with the balls and then work up from there. This guy took them both in his hand and squeezed with all his might. You know when you get kicked in the nuts, well that was the feeling. I punched him hard in the chest and let go and was all apologies. I sort of hobbled/waddled out of the Den and found a seat to recover.

After about 15 minutes, I was good to go and headed back inside. I was stroking my cock when some guy came over and whispered that he wanted to be fucked in the sling. Well, who was I to say no?!?!? Got this hot little cub up in the sling and buried my cock in his hot ass. It was tight and he had a hard time taking the PA at first. With a little more lube and some finger work, he was up for it, and took it like a champ. We fucked quite a long time and had again gathered a nice audience. Wasn't long before some other hot bears had come up and my bud in the sling was sucking their cocks. One guy got down on the ground and was tonguing my bud's ass and licking my balls at the same time. HEAVEN!!!

I was needing to take a break, so I pulled out and another guy took my spot. I cleaned up a little and headed out side for some fresh air. I had heard a lot about the nature trails around the lake and figured a cool walk would be just the thing before I headed home. The trails are awesome. At the dead end of each trail there are chairs and benches. You can tell that professionals thought this one out. At the end of one trail there was a guy buck ass naked on his knees jerking off. I stopped and pulled out my cock. He took it in his mouth and sucked. I was feeling good and figured this would be a good way to end the evening. He pulled my cock out of his mouth and said "I'm so thirsty, give me your piss." Well, that pissing through a hardon skill came in handy twice in one night. I slid my cock back in his mouth and told him to say still for a minute. Once I summoned up the piss, it was coming in a heavy stream. He was drinking it down as fast as he could when I clamped my fingers on his nostrils. I know, I know, not nice, but it was fun. He gagged a bit and then proceeded to hold his breath while he sucked down every last drop. I let him breath and he sucked me a few more minutes until I felt a load stirring in my balls. I let go and once again, he swallowed every drop. I zipped up leaving him there on his knees with a big smile on his face.

I've already marked my calendar with the events for the rest of the year at the Sawmill. The next event is a Camouflage Weekend with the Tampa Leather Club. Should be FUN!!!

New Fleshlight!!

2010-03-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

I've been slacking off with my Fleshlight/Fleshjacks. A few days ago, I spent 90 minutes with one. Then every evening since. Anyhow, I'm gonna order me one of these tonight. Lupe Fuentes Mini Lotus Fleshlight Pussy Nice tight pussy to fuck!! I also think I'll get some Str8cam Lube to go with it! Jeff tells me it works great with his Fleshlights.

Happy Birthday to ME

2010-03-23T05:19:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I decided I was going to celebrate my 44th birthday in style. Now, you have to understand that "in style" really means covered in lube, and piss and cum. I knew the Men4Bareback monthly bareback party was the weekend before my birthday, so I decided to get a room for the weekend at the Parliament House in Orlando. When I lived in FL 18 years ago, I used to come to the P-House as it is affectionately known all the time. The P-House bills itself as a "gay resort". In reality, it is a blend of night clubs, restaurants, drag shows and a "hotel" which is really an old style motor inn, and really more of a bath house. People cruise the balconies day and night looking for hot, mild to wild man sex.

When I used to come to the P-House, I never actually paid for a room. I'd just play "balcony bingo", as it's known, and spend the night with whatever trick I hooked up with who already had a room. Back then in my mid-twenties, it was pretty easy to hook up and have a free room for the night. At this point in time, I wouldn't count on that luck any more. So, I made reservations, took a vacation day from work and planned to spend Fri, Sat and Sun nights at the P-House, with a hot bareback party thrown in the middle.

Friday, I arrived at about 4pm. Within 15 minutes of checking in, I was already naked with my cock in some guy's mouth. He followed me from the car as I was bringing in my toolboxes of kink. I had them loaded with e-stim, rope, gags, gas masks, forceps, clothespins, and other goodies. Anyhow, this guy knew what the toolboxes were for and followed me in. He stood in the doorway and complimented my tattoos. I invited him in and dropped my clothes. He did the same and dropped down on my cock. He said he liked to eat ass, so I flipped over and let him go to town. He not only liked it, he was extremely good at it. We played around for 45 minutes or so and then he went out to cruise some more and I got settled into my room.

Friday night, I ended up playing with 8 different guys. Some of them in singles, and a few couples. I got to use some of my toys. Tied up one guy, clothespinned another. All in all, Friday was a very good night.

I got up Saturday and headed out for breakfast. When I got back, there were already guys cruising the balconies. I eyed one I wanted and pulled him into my room. We played for a while and then I kicked him out. He was fun, but I was hoping to find someone a little less vanilla. I sat in my room writing, with the door open and the curtain back and it didn't take long for him to come along. He was a young guys with some really nice ink. He noticed the open toolboxes and asked if he could check them out....um FUCK YES!! He came in and looked through them and I just sort of sat at the desk watching him. His reactions were priceless. Every new thing he picked up, he sort of moaned a little in a very hot, very boyish way. I couldn't take it anymore and told him to get up, close the door and strip. He did, and I went to town. Tied him down to the bed, which is no small feat, as there are no legs on the bed, it's a platform. Once I got him tied down, I put the gas mask on him, and fed him poppers through the hose. I covered him in clothespins and then I hooked up the estim and shoved the butt plug electrode up his ass. He was going wild and so was I. After a while, I removed all the implements of torture and flipped him over and tied him back down, and then I fucked his ass until I finally seeded him with a nice load. After he left I cleaned up and got ready for the bareback party.

I headed up a little early to hang out with the guys. The party was smaller than the last months. A lot of guys canceled at the last minute. Fortunately, there were plenty of fun guys to go around. Tom was there with another "piggie bag" of his world famous chicken for me. In fact, it wasn't even what he brought for the party, he made me a special serving all for me. What a sweet guy!! There was a new guy there. I had exchanged a few messages with him before the party and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to make it. Damn, I'm glad he did. This guy was a really handsome bear, with a thick pelt of fur. He also he the most beautiful bubble butt ever. I was sitting out at the pool when I was told that M was requesting my presence in the back bedroom. I headed back and he asked if I wanted to eat his load out of this hot new guy's ass. Well, duh, of course I want to!!! M was wanting the new guy to fuck him, but he was resting after getting pounded by M's thick 8" cock, so I had M get in his back and I slid my rock hard cock in there. Eating cum out of a hot ass makes me hard every time!!

The night progressed with lots of fucking and sucking, and about 10pm, I decided to head back to the P-House. When I got back, I grabbed a shower, changed, and headed into the disco to dance the night away. I was on the dance floor from 11pm until they closed at 2am. I LOVE to dance. I've never minded dancing on my own. From my very first days as a little gayling, I've always spent all the time I could on the dance floor. The energy was great and I had a blast. I talked to (read flirted) a lot of guys. It might surprise you to know that I'm not shy :-)

After the bar closed, I headed back to my room. Balcony Bingo was in full swing. A number of guys cruised me and then one cute young boy stopped and came in. Luckily for me, he was into piss. I had a lot of water during the night and needed to let it go. He was happy to oblige, first letting it run down his lightly hairy chest and then locking on with his lips and draining every last drop. We showered and jumped in bed and I fucked him all over the bed, then on the floor, then in a chair. When he left, and I finally got to bed, it was after 4am. Oh my god, this body hasn't seen 4am in many many years. Well worth it, though.

I had placed an ad on Craigslist when I arrived on Friday and had been chatting back and forth with this really hot bear couple. Actually one was a bear and one was a cub. Both hot as hell. I recognized their photos from Bear Bust last October. Anyhow, they were planning to come by on 10am on Sunday. As I dropped into bed exhausted on Sunday morning at 4am, I figured I could sleep until 9 and then get up and shower and be ready for 10. God, 5 hours is not enough sleep when you dance all night and then play after, Luckily for me, they were running late. When they arrived, we got naked right away and got down to it. The bear was a bottom and the cub was versatile. I ate ass, and fucked them both. Then the cub fucked his partner. Everyone came and left satisfied.

At that point, I knew I needed to take a break. After the guys left, I dropped into bed. L, A and M were coming down to meet me at the P-House for T-Dance. They showed up about 5:30 and we hung out at my room, and then headed down to the clubs, walked the balconies, and generally had a lot of laughs. We ended up in the disco for the drag show and this really hot young guy walked in. I motioned to him and growled and the guys I was with said "you've fucked him before" I was not making the connection. You see, when you spend a number of hours fucking someone buck ass naked at a bareback party, your frame of reference seeing them in a dance club fully clothed is all messed up. When he came over to say hi, I immediately remembered him. I've written about the great time I had with him before. He is a hot latin cub, with a perfect body, killer smile and sweet disposition. He chatted for a while and then headed off to chat with some friends. We decided after a while that the dance club was a bore, so we headed outside to walk around and see what we saw. Sweet little E, my latin cub, was walking up and asked where we were going. I told him, "we're taking you to room 249 to fuck you." He smiled and came right along. We weren't in the room for 2 minutes before all 5 of us were naked. L fucked him first, while I sucked his cock. This hot little Puerto Rican stud loves to kiss and so do I, so while he was getting pounded, I was kissing him, or he was pressing his head on my chest. When my turn came, I was having some technical difficulties. I guess after all the play I'd had all weekend, my dick was just not ready for any more. No worries, I laid back on the bed and E alternated between sucking my cock and kissing me while the 3 other guys took turns filling his ass with their cum. After we all laid on the beds spent and smiling, E curled up on my chest and just lay there....heaven.

The guys left to head home to make dinner and E stayed with me on the bed just laying there and cuddling and talking for a while. Eventually he needed to get going and head home to his partner. I was bummed to see him go, but happy that we ran into him. I got cleaned up and finally decided to call it a night around 11:30. Monday morning, I would drive home and recuperate. As I hit the pillow on Sunday, I was glad that I had the foresight to take Monday off as a vacation day. I don't think my mind or my body could manage work on Monday. When I got home on Monday, I picked up the dogs and then went home to upack. Ended up jerking off 4 loads thinking about the hot weekend!!

Overall, it was the best birthday (weekend) I've had in many years. Being back at the P-House after 18 years brought back a lot of memories and I noticed a lot of things about me that had sort of crept up on me over these 18 years. But those deep and not so deep thoughts are for another post. For now, I'll just bask in the glow of a great weekend!!

Perverted Pantry

2010-03-09T08:45:00.000-08:00

OK, after the last post, I realized I left out a lot of other good homemade BDSM implements of torture. I'll list a few more here. Again, these things aree cheap and probably some of them are already lying around your house.

Brushes, brushes, brushes. Oh the joys of brushes. Get yourself one of those cheap battery operated toothbrushes. The ones that are disposable are fine. The ones with the rotary action seem best. When your bottom is tied up, or tied down, use the toothbrush on the bottom of their feet, the head of their cock, their balls, their taint. For a real test of wills, spread their cheeks and use it outside their perky little hole!!

You can do a similar thing but cover a larger area with a vegetable brush. And it you really want to work an ass over, get a nice sized toilet brush and go to town.

OK, how about something so simple you might not even think of it....water! Water is one of the most essential parts of human life, why not make it an essential part of your play. Fill a spray bottle with ice cold water. Turn it to full stream and then blast away at cock heads, balls, assholes. Better yet, go one step further and freeze it into cubes. Hold each cube in your hand for a few seconds to rub off any sharp edges and then slide it into your bottom's lubed up hole. Watch them quiver with delight. Make a game of it, see how many your bottom can hold before they are begging you to release them, Even more fun, freeze into popsicles and slide them up a willing hole. I'm a big fan of felching, so I like to use pops made of something like crystal light, etc, and eat them out after sliding them in.

The above tricks can also be used with cum. That's right. Save up your loads and freeze them. Over time, you can get a decent collection of cubes that you can melt in your or someone you love's ass. Makes great lube!!!

There is lots more, and again, the only limit is your imagination. My friends have often told me that I'm the mad scientist of sex. I love that!!!!! So go ahead, head into your lab and get wild and crazy!

Budget-minded Deviants Save Money...BDSM

2010-03-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

The past few months, I've been reconnecting with my BDSM past. I've been twisted for quite some time, but my BDSM pursuits for the past few years have been pretty much self centered. Lately, I've been getting back into the BDSM activities that involve others. My hiatus was really tied to my meth addiction. When I lived in San Francisco and was heavily into the BDSM scene, I was also a meth addict. It has taken me quite a few years of sobriety to be able to connect the dots without the drugs. No small feat, trust me. But, now I'm getting there and so I've been resupplying my tool box of implements of torture.

Let's face it, lots of the gear for BDSM play is not cheap. Get yourself a good leather hood, a flogger, some leather restraints, a variety of nipple clamps, a blindfold and a gag and you're already up over $500. Throw in a harness, chaps, pants, vest, some e-stim gear, sounds, catheters, etc and you can easily reach into the thousands of dollars.

I like to think of ways to find BDSM gear cheap, and in some cases make my own. Below are some ideas for the frugal minded pervert. This is clearly not an exhaustive list, but there are some $$ savers here.

A whole scene for dom and sub for less than $50

Head out to the local Dollar Store, Hardware Store, etc and you can find the following:

Clothespins in a variety of sizes - $1-$2
Duct Tape - $1
Fly swatter - $1
Rubber gloves, either First Aid or Kitchen Gloves - $2-$3

OK, now head on over to your local Army/Navy Surplus and find the following:

Knit Ski Mask (I have them in black and olive) - $4
100 feet of climbing rope - $10
Dickies coverall or aviator flight suit - $25

Here's how to put it all together (please note, if you are not familiar with bondage and corporal punishment, please seek out experienced people to show you how to do it right. Not doing it right can result in injury to one or both parties....any experienced BDSM player worth a shit will be happy to take you under their wing and teach you...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!)

The coverall is for the Top/Dom. These are a cheap replacement for leather chaps, vests, etc etc. Get it in black and you've got great fetish gear for a solid BDSM scene. Get it in other colors and the sky is the limit. Olive for a military scene, blue for a mechanic/garage scene...you get the idea. The front zips all the way open from the top or the bottom (great for accessing a hard cock). You can cut off the sleeves if you want a different version. I like to cut off the sleeves on mine, I paid good money for my ink and like to show it off. It is also easy to get in and out of these, much faster than say putting on or taking off a pair of leather chaps or pants.

The climbing rope is for the bottom/sub. With 100 feet, the Top should be able to bind them in all sorts of great positions. Shorter lengths work best, so cut that 100 feet into a number of pieces. Try a 30', an 18', three 12', and some 6 foot pieces (give or take). Again, if you don't know what you are doing, get some info first before you try to go it alone. There is a wealth of information online, as well as books, workshops, or again, hooking up with a knowledgeable player for some instruction.

Once you have the bottom tied up, you can put on the hood, blindfold and/or gag. Wait, you don't have those??? Sure you do, get out the ski mask and the duct tape. Hood = ski mask. Stuff a dirty sock or jock in the bottoms mouth and then run some duct tape around it, nice gag. Place something over the eyes to protect them (a paper towel or washcloth will do), wrap with duct tape, et viola, instant blindfold. Take care with the duct tape. You want to stick it to itself, not lips or eyelids. Also, helpful hint, after you wrap the duct tape, fold over the end just a bit. This will allow you to grab it and rip it off without cutting or picking at the end. Personally, I think this hood/gag/blindfold set up is HOT HOT HOT!! has a really great abduction vibe to it.

Want to add a chastity device to the bottom? Take one of the rubber gloves, fill it with their package and then bind with duct tape. If they even think of getting hard, they will be squirming. (Again, the duct tape goes on the glove not on the delicate skin of the crotch). I know it sounds devious to put the tape on the skin, but I've seen first hand that some brands of duct tape will actually rip skin when it is pulled off. Not the goal here :-)

OK, now the fun begins. Clothespins are great just about anywhere. Nips, balls, cock, thighs, ass, chest, you name it. Remember that the fun in clothespins is not the application, it is the removal. When the clothespin is applied, it compresses the tissue and restricts blood flow. When it is removed, blood rushes back into the area and the nerves are overwhelmed. A lot of new bottoms are so proud that they can have so many pins applied at once, only to realize they are paying for it when the pins are removed. You could spend many play sessions, just exploring the various ways to play with a $1 bag of clothespins. When you want to get really fancy, try a "zipper". Some great clothespin info can be found just by googling. Here is one page with some great info.

How about that fly swatter? Makes a great paddle for ass, cock and balls, nips. Or, you can make yourself a home made flogger with some of the climbing rope, again google for instructions for many options. The possibilities are endless and really only limited by your deviant mind!!!!

If you want to spend a few more bucks, grab yourself a cheap gas mask at the military surplus for $15-$25 bucks. These are very useful. You can put duct tape over the eyes and you've got a mask AND blindfold. Grab some wooden spoons at the Dollar Store and a can of Tool Dip at the hardware store. Tool Dip is a liquid plastic/rubber that is used for handles of pliers, wrenches, etc. However, if you dip a wooden spoon in it and allow to dry, you've got a great rubber paddle for cheap!!

Don't get me wrong, all the leather gear and expensive toys have their place. I love my e-stimgear and my sounding and pumping gear, but the basics are often the best. If you can get creative with $50, imagine what you can do with the specialized toys.

Finally, if you don't have a pair, get yourself a pair of Jungle or Jump boots at your local military surplus. Jungle boots can be had for $20-$40 and Jump boots run $50-$80. A good pair will last your for many years and are without a doubt the best investment I've made in all of my gear.

If you have any home made ideas, share them in the comments. I know I'm not the only deviant out there :-)

Still human

2010-03-05T05:40:00.000-08:00

It never ceases to amaze me how, even in this decade, people are still so terrified of HIV/AIDS and treat those of us who are infected with such disdain. Guy contacted me off one of my profiles on one of the Bear sites. "Profile and pics are hot, looking for a Top, let's play". After checking out his profile, I replied. I had noticed that he had Safe Sex only indicated, so I disclosed I was HIV+. He replied that he has never been with someone who was Poz before, and asked what the risks were, aside from the obvious. (Now, whenever I hear that someone has never been with someone Poz before, I translate that to mean they've never "knowingly" been with someone was was Poz before. There is still such a stigma associated with it, that many people don't share their status, lie about it, or don't even get tested and have no idea.) Anywhoooo, I replied that aside from the obvious risks which can be mitigated by playing safe, the biggest risk was that we'd meet and he'd have a good time. Then, it happened....nothing.....

It's the same story. Start talking to someone interesting, and let them know you are Poz.....silence. Hey, I get it, you don't want to get infected, I don't blame anyone for that. But, for Jeebus' sake, be human. Reply and say "no thanks." I always get a chuckle out of the people who go on and on about how HIV is no longer a death sentence, blah blah blah. Yeah, from a physical perspective, it's not, but from a social perspective it still carries a HUGE load of baggage. I suppose it is also different based on geography. Here in sunny FL, we still live in the dark ages in a lot of ways, and so does a lot of the gay community. Having lost a partner, and a multitude of friends to AIDS, I am often amazed when someone tells me that they have never known anyone with HIV/AIDS. Really?? Having lived in Boston and NYC and San Francisco, I guess my exposure was so much different. But really, in this day and age the fact that there are people in the community who don't know anyone infected is really amazing. Head in the sand much?

For the most part, I play with Poz guys. It's easier to deal with, when can play raw, and we share a common experience. (although every one of us is still unique; HIV impacts each of us differently) There are just times when you can't help but feeling like an outcast. I personally don't mind living on the edge. To be fair, many of my sexual pursuits are on the edge. Because of that, I'm keenly aware of the need to stay connected. I don't necessarily care that people don't want to play because of my infection. What I care about is that they somehow feel that the infection means that I'm no longer human, that I don't deserve at least the basic common courtesies.

Trust me, I've seen more humanity connected to this disease than most people would ever want to see. When people are stripped down to their last 80 pounds of skin and bones, humanity is often all that is left. I've watched in utter amazement as people on the edge of death comforted friends and family, as they themselves were dying. I remember one friend whose younger brother was just devastated at the pending loss of his older brother. My friend would always get his little brother to crawl up into bed with him and then he would hold his little brother and comfort him. The day he died, his little brother was there and was just a mess. My friend patted the bed and his brother climbed in next to him. My friend then wrapped his arms around his very healthy, athletic, college football player brother. As the brother cried, my friend remembered stories of when they were kids, and all the crazy things he did. Somewhere along the way, in one of those memories, my dear friend jumped into eternity. His brother was not aware he was gone, apparently wrapped warmly in those same memories. We waited a while before we brought him back to the reality of the situation. THAT is humanity. THAT is REAL. It's not that I care that some young guy blows me off because I'm positive, it's that they somehow think that I am the disease, that even talking to me is a risk.

Most of us who have been around this virus for any length of time can share stories of the amazing, mind blowing people who we've encountered. I'll take that any day over some superficial bullshit. I would not give up one moment of the journey, I would not give back one ounce of pain, I would not change one decision. It has ALL made me a stronger person. It's probably why I'm still alive. So many amazing people have paid such a high price for me to be a stronger person. None of them knowing at the time that their loss would be to my benefit. I don't take that lightly, and I won't step into the shadows or be tossed aside. I've got something to share and it's not a virus. In the end, we just want to be human...

Epilogue: After 4 days, I received a reply. "Truth be told I am a bit of a hypochondriac and that would get in the way of enjoying myself with you... I'm not completely unscathed myself, last year I found out that I have herpes 1 and I've also had a few situations go sour because of it... I, of course, would have told you about it, but you just beat me to the punch... I would love to hook up with you, your pic is hot and I love the tatts, but I can't... sorry..."

I found the reply to be ironic. He's got Herpes, and "would have told me" and apparently assumed that I would be cool with it. So I guess herpes, no biggie, HIV, no way......

Another crazy weekend

2010-02-22T07:24:00.001-08:00

My weekend started early, on Thursday evening. I've been wanting to get more active with my BDSM kinks over the past few months. Thursday, I bought a bunch of clothespins and figured I'd use them over the weekend. When I got home from work, I checked Craigslist and there was an ad there from a bottom looking to be abused. Typically, bottoms wanting to be abused on Craigslist really don't know anything about BDSM. They think a few slaps on the ass are "being abused". So, when I read these ads, I'm usually pretty sceptical. "Anything goes" NEVER means even close to that. And honestly, a true BDSM bottom would likely be better to define their limits than just saying "anything goes". Anyhow, I exchanged a few emails with this bottom and told him I wanted to tie him up and clothespin him. He was agreeable, so we met at his place. I asked how many clothespins he could take, and he said all of them. I had 200 with me, so I laughed. I asked if he had any limits as to where the clothespins went, and he said no, anywhere is good. I asked how many times he had been pinned before and he said a few. We agreed on a safe word, actually a safe sound (making the high low high low siren sound works great when the bottom is gagged) I tied some wrist cuffs and a harness and then gagged him with a rope bit harness I had tied earlier. Then, I started to apply the clothespins. I got his nipples and his balls and cock, his thighs, check, ass and feet. I worked slowly and methodically. I made sure to check with him often so I could gauge his comfort/discomfort and his ability to cope with the scene. He was doing well.

After I got all the pins on, probably I think 40 of them, I removed the gag and asked how he felt. He was so proud that he had so many pins. He told me how they didn't hurt nearly as bad as he thought they would. That raised my eyebrows. "As he thought they would?" Well, honestly, I pretty much knew he was talking out his ass before, but it was just clothespins, so I was OK with that. I just smiled and replaced the bit gag. Now it was time for the pins to come off. I took a few off his nipples and chest and he groaned a little. Slapped a couple off his thighs and he squirmed and yelped a little. Then I took two off his balls and he really let out a yelp. I took down the gag and got him to slow his breathing and talked to him for a minute. He apparently had forgotten that the joy of clothespins was not in putting them on, but in taking them off. He was begging me not to take any more off. I laughed. How was he going to put on his shorts and shirt and, well even his shoes for that that matter? He was hating this whole thing. I replaced the gag, got him to breath and then started removing pins again. He was squirming and yelling into the gag. As I removed each section, I would rub the area to get the blood flowing and the pain to subside. I saved his cock and the remaining pins on his balls for last. He was not a happy camper. Then I proceeded to suck his still hard cock and lick his balls. I felt the tension from pain leaving his body, while the tension from arousal increased. I removed the gag, fed him my cock and then fucked his ass. I paid special attention to the areas that I had pinned, making sure to slap and/or tickle each. When all was said and done we were two happy campers.

Friday I decided to hit the bookstore again. I'm back in my high libido mode, so the more the better. I filled my pockets with some poppers and some lube and some silicone jelly donuts from Fort Troff. When I got to the bookstore it was about 6pm. I find that Friday afternoon/evenings are pretty good. A lot of guys getting off work and kicking off the weekend with some sex. I got down to business right away. I found a guy in the back that I'd played with before. He sucked on my cock for a while and licked my nuts. He was fun, but I wasn't even close to ready to cum. I headed into the booths, and the straight guy from last week with the big cock was there. He saw me and headed for a booth, I headed for the adjacent booth and started sucking his rod through the hole. He has such a beautiful cock, but it takes forever to get hard. I slipped one of the jelly donuts around his cock and it started to respond. I slid one around his balls and he really started to squirm and get hard as a rock. I sucked him for a while until he was squirming and moaning loudly. He reached through, grabbed the back of my head and in a few strokes, he was filling my mouth with his cum. Sadly, it was the same bitter taste as the week before. Oh, well, still fun. I left the donuts on his cock and left the booth. I figure he'll have a little souvenir of his time cheating on his wife or girlfriend...hehehe

Went back to the theater and this really hot muscular little guy followed me into one of the private rooms. He asked if I was top or bottom. I told him top and he smiled a big broad smile. He said "fuck me" and I smiled. Then he said, "let's go to the big room." The big room is the main theater and there is pretty much no privacy. He wanted to be fucked in front of the other guys. I don't really have a problem with that, but it is pretty risky. Cops can always raid the place. Well, luckily there was a guy I knew in there and he watched out for anyone that we didn't know coming in. I bent the guy over, yanked down his jeans and slid my cock in his ass fast and hard. He groaned a little and then pressed back against me. I didn't waste any time, as I was still a little paranoid. Within a few minutes, I was pumping my cum deep into his ass.

I fooled around with a few other guys over the next hour and then found a guy in one of the private theater rooms. He motioned me in and dropped to his knees and pulled out my cock. He was really good. He was a rough sucker, which I like. Nothing worse than a too smooth mouth for getting nothing out of some head. I like it a little rough and this guy was good at that. I told him to chew my cock a little and he did. He reached for my balls and I told him to work them. He started, but I barked at him to work them harder. He did. He was tapping them and squeezing them really hard. I could tell that it wouldn't be long. After a few minutes of pretty intense sucking and ball pounding, I dropped a huge load down his throat. This was one of those orgasms that keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny. I pulled my cock from his mouth and pulled up my shorts and left. As I was walking out of the private room, there were about 6 guys out in the theater that had moved right up near the room. Apparently, I was a little vocal. They all smiled as I walked out. I headed home and slept like a baby.

Saturday night, I was back at it again at the bookstore. I went later in the evening, as it seems to be the best time for action. Right as I walked in, there was a hot guy who headed into the back theater. I followed him back and we were going at it in seconds. He was really hot and we started kissing. He was a really good kisser, really good. I suggested that we get naked. Now, typically, I don't get naked much, just drop the shorts, maybe lift the shirt behind my head. Every now and then, though, there is a hot guy that I want to spend a few minutes with, and I'll suggest we get naked. He agreed and we stripped fast. I spun him around and stuck my tongue in his ass. He was loving it. I stood up and he turned around and grabbed my cock. He swallowed it for a while and got it all slobbery and wet. I stood him up, spun him around and pushed my cock into his hole. He let out a whimper and then started to rock back and forth. I rode him for about 10 minutes and then I felt him tense up and heard the sound of cum splashing on the floor. I pulled out and we cleaned up and got dressed. He was smiling ear to ear.

I headed into the video booths to see what was up. One of my favorite booths was empty and the light was on over next one. I popped in and took a look to see who was over there. Imagine my surprise when I saw a cock I recognized. My straight guy with the big softie from the past two Fridays was in there sporting the two silicone jelly rings I'd left on him the night before. He was hard this time and I wasted no time in sucking him off. When I was through, I met him outside the booths and asked how he liked the rings. He asked "was that you?" and I told him yeah. He was all thank yous. He said he had never tried a cock ring before and now he was hooked. I love being a BAD influence on horny straight guys. He told me that his girlfriend was out of town, but he couldn't wait for her to come home so he could try them out with her. I suggested that he be careful, as she might want to know why he had them.

I spent about three hours between the booths and the theaters. There was a guy that came in that was hot as hell. I'm guessing Puerto Rican or Cuban. He was probably late 40's with a nice gut, shaved head and salt and pepper goatee. He spent a long time checking out all the DVD's. A really long time. He kept glancing back at the theaters and the booths. You can always tell the newbies. They spend hours sometimes looking at the DVD selection, when the whole time they are wanting to go back and get some head. He made his way into the back theater and the attendant chased him out cuz he didn't pay. So he headed for the booths and I followed. I headed into the booth next to him and waited as he fed in a few $$. I did the same and started to stroke my cock. He bent over and seemed a bit surprised at first as he peeked through, but then opened his fly and fed his cock through. It was really thick and uncut and long. I'm thinking about 8.5". I slobbered all over it and worked my fingers into his fly to play with his balls. He dropped his shorts and I got my hands on his balls. I slid my finger back to tickle his hole and he moaned a little. In a few minutes he shot a huge sweet load down my throat. He then raced to get out of there. Sooo funny.

Sunday I recovered from a weekend of hot sex, and ordered a bunch of new pig gear online. But that's a story for another day :@)

February Fill and Be Filled Men4Bareback Fuck Fest

2010-02-16T08:55:00.000-08:00

This weekend, my fuck fest started early. I hit the bookstore on Friday evening. It's been probably a month since I've been. I go through phases where I'll go every week for a while and then it could be months in between. I went ready to fuck. When I got there it wasn't that busy. I checked out all the theaters and there were a few guys, but nothing major happening. I headed into the booths and down to the dark end of the hall. There was a hot Mexican guy there. There are lots of Mexican guys at this particular place. Some are hot as fuck and some are way too effeminate for me. Fortunately, this guy was really hot. He was stocky with a full beard and a nice firm gut. He kept watching my crotch, so I moved into the darkest part of the hallway and he slid over next to me. In a few minutes, I felt his hand squeezing my already hard cock through my jeans. I was feeling bold, so I unzipped my jeans and pulled out my cock. He started to work it with his hands, pulling on my PA and squeezing my balls. I put my hand in the small of his back and he moaned a little and pressed up against me. I felt my way into the back of his jeans and he unbuttoned so I could get in there. I fingered his hot moist hole, and he moaned a little as he squeezed my cock.

With my hand still down the back of his pants, I guided him into one of the booths with no glory hole and locked us in. He dropped his pants, as I dropped mine. He dove for my cock with his mouth and started working the jewelry with his tongue. He was talented for sure. After a little sucking, I pulled him up and started munching on his huge thick cock and thick foreskin. I sucked him for a while and then spun him around and buried my tongue in his sweet hole. His hole was sweaty but clean. You could tell he had been working outside all day. I pulled a bottle of lube from my pocket, squirted some on my cock and then slid a finger into his hole. He pushed back on my finger and started sliding back and forth slowly. I pulled my finger out and slid my pierced cock into his slippery hole. A lot of times guys have a hard time with my jewelry. It's not crazy huge, but it is 2ga so it's fairly thick. When this happens, I end up being in more pain than them, as the jewelry gets twisted and makes it tough. This guy, however, swallowed my cock, jewelry and all like a pro. In one swift motion I was buried up to my balls. He banged the wall with his fist a few times and I heard him take a sharp breath when I first slid in.

I rode him raw for quite a while and finally, I could feel a load building up at the base of my cock. I was leaking like a faucet and my cock was sliding in and out faster and faster. He could tell I was close and just kept moaning, "Cum, cum". I blasted inside his hole and pressed him hard up against the wall. He was gasping for breath. After I pulled out, I asked if he wanted to cum, cuz I didn't mind smoking his pole for a while, but he just shook his head and grinned. We got dressed and I have him a pat on the ass as I walked out. Soooo sweet!

Saturday was the Men4Bareback February Fill and Be Filled Fuck Fest. What a mouthful!! I arrived with my home made calzone and chatted with the hosts. I'm very lucky, as the hosts have also become great friends. They are the best guys you'd ever want to meet. I am very fortunate to have them as friends. So, anyhow, things got rolling and I started my evening with S, who was a birthday boy. It was his first time at a M4BB party, but clearly not his first tine to the dance, if you know what I mean. He had this beautiful hard cock and I sucked him off for a while and then we started to kiss. He was a REALLY good kisser. I love really good kissers. You know the kind who really get into it and fight with you over whose tongue gets the best position. Guys who kiss firm and hard, with a purpose. This guy was all of that. I think I was also spitting in his mouth at one point, another turn on.

I moved on to another room and played with a couple of hot bear guys. One, was another first timer and another was a regular. They were sucking each other off and I joined in, eventually on my knees, sucking them both. They were sooo tasty. My buddy R came in. R is one of the most beautiful black guys you've ever seen. I mean he is as close to perfection as you are going to get anywhere. As I think I've mentioned before, I likey me the chocolate :-) I don't mean this in any way disrespectfully. I just love black men. I love the look and feel and taste and smell of them. R is just the sweetest guy you'd ever want to meet. I worked on his cock for a while and sucked his beautiful nipples and we kissed. Again, another really good kisser. He had some stuff on his mind, so we talked for a while and then I moved into another room. We kept bumping into each other throughout the night, and groped and slurped along the way. I knew he was preoccupied, so I tried to be a little less forward and a little more reserved with him. Next time, we're gonna romp hard!!

I pulled the first guy, the birthday boy into the back room and we played for a while. All of a sudden, he was trying to slide the bead from my PA into his piss slit. So fucking hot!!! I almost creamed right there, but instead I ran out to put in a better piece of jewelry for the occasion. When I got back, L., one of the hosts had taken my place and they were going at it. I watched for a while and then ended up with one of the bears from earlier. We fooled around some more and then I headed out to the kitchen to snack and chat. F., the most incredible bottom from Jacksonville, was at this party too. I had seen him get fucked by 3 or 4 guys, patiently waiting for a chance to get close to him. Finally, he was alone and I guided him to the master bedroom. I lubed up and slid my cock into his perfect, tight hole. He was bent over the bed and I was on my toes. Next time I'm bringing a little step stool, that bed is just too damn high :-) After sliding in and out of his amazing hole, I finally busted inside F. He was looking back and had this great smile from ear to ear. I bent down and licked my load (along with a few others) from his hole. I moved up and we exchanged a kiss, sharing the juices from his hot ass. We talked for a while and then headed back out to the rest of the party.

I must confess, I am totally smitten by F. He is just the sweetest guy. Every time he was getting fucked, I'd look over and we'd catch each other's eye and both grin. I've already told him this and told him I won't stalk him, I'm just smitten :-) It's not just that he is an amazing bottom, it's that he just exudes this great energy. His smile is infectious and he is just such a warm person.

I took another little break and chatted in the kitchen. I had a few more pieces of T's amazing chicken. He makes this chicken with panko crumbs and curry and honey. AMAZING!!!! I asked him if he would bring it to the party, and not only did he bring it, but he brought me my own "piggie bag" to take home. What a sweetie!

I moved toward the back and found birthday boy again. We checked out the back room and it was pretty crowded, so I took him to the sling room. There was nobody there, and he jumped into the sling. I pressed my cock to his hole and fucked away. He was so hot. He had that look of hunger in his eyes and it was a real turn on. He had me so turned on, I blew a load deep in his ass, then I slid down and shoved my tongue in there to grab some of my cum. One of the other guys came in. He was new, and he had a huge black cock that loved to fuck. I joked that I was glad I was in there first or I would have seemed tiny by comparison. He slid into the birthday boy who was taking it like a champ. I kept feeding him poppers and we shotgunned some. I'd take a deep hit of the poppers and then he would inhale them from me as we kissed. Very hot and a huge turn on for me. After the latest arrival pulled out, the b-day boy and I stayed and kissed for a while.

I sucked and fucked a little more here and there and then got dressed and headed for home. I was so horned up, I decided to hit the bookstore on the way home. There was a little more action there than there was on Friday night. I headed back for the booths an there was this really hot, obviously straight guy there. He gave me a nod and headed into a booth. I took the booth next to him and his cock was in my mouth in seconds. He had a really nice cock, long and not too thick, but it wasn't very hard. After a few minutes, I took care of that. As he started to get harder, he reached over and pulled my head onto his cock. I'm not usually a fan of this, as I know what the fuck I'm doing, but I could tell it was getting him off, and his cock was sooo beautiful, so I let him skull fuck me. He started to drip like crazy and then he shot a huge load. The only real problem was that his cum tasted really bad. You know how every now and then you encounter someone whose cum taste really chemically, and weird. This guy had that kind of cum. Of course, the session was so hot, I didn't really mind. I headed to the theaters and got my cock sucked a few times and fucked one guy. I finally packed it in and headed home to finish up on my own.

When I got home, I turned on the porn and stroked my cock for about an hour. When I finally came, I was just about screaming, it was sooo good. I cleaned up and headed for bed very happy and satisfied.

I can't wait for the March Men4Bareback party. They are going to have it close to my birthday, so I plan on a big celebration!!!

Men4Bareback January Fuck Fest

2010-01-11T08:58:00.000-08:00

Friday evening, I had some new ink done. I had the pieces on my knee and my shin colored. Let me say this, tattoos on the knee FUCKING HURT!!!! I was really feeling the pain and quite happy when we switched from the knee to the shin. The shin was almost painless compared to the knee. In the end, it was all worth it, though, as the pieces came out amazing. Beauty is pain....or so they say :-) There is only one more piece on my leg left to color, and then we start the background wind and maple leaves. I'm thinking 3-4 more sessions to finish the leg...well, finish it as much as we're going for now. It will be completely covered from ankle to about 3 inches above the knee. Eventually, I'll get the top of my foot done and maybe my thigh. We'll see. I'll probably take 6-12 months off before starting on the other leg. My wallet and my pain receptors can use the break. Don't let anyone fool you, tattoos hurt!! Sure, if you have one on your shoulder or your bicep it's really not that bad, but ask anyone who has had one on the knee cap, the rib cage, the collar bone, or inside the arm pit and they'll tell you... it hurts. In the end, though, I have never felt that the pain outweighed the satisfaction from the final result.

Saturday night was another great Men4Bareback fuck party. The second Saturday of the month rolls around so quickly. For this, I am eternally grateful!! It was a cold drive over to the party, as we've been having record low temperatures for the past almost 10 days. On Saturday, I woke to freezing rain and by noon it had warmed to a balmy 34 degrees. When I arrived, the house was toasty warm. There were some new guys on the list, and I was stoked. There was one guy, F, in particular that I had seen on the site, that I was looking forward to seeing. F is a hot little bottom, only 29 years old. The minute he showed up, I was putty. After things got rolling, I found him in one of the back bedrooms getting his ass pounded. I went around in front of him and fed him some poppers and we sucked on each other's tongues. After the first guy was done, I slipped around back. Hot little pig told me that he didn't enjoy jewelry in his ass, so I took it out. (Later when talking to UntitledBB, I mentioned that and we both said at the same time "small price to pay"). It really was a small price to pay for this ass. This ass was so tight and warm, it was perfection! I fucked until I got really close and then pulled out for a break.

As the evening wore on, I sucked and fucked here and there. Finally, I ended up with F in the master bedroom. I ate his sweet ass. I know he had a few loads already up there, so I was even more turned on. After I dined for a while, I lubed up and slid into F's hole. It was still perfection, still as tight and warm as the beginning of the evening. This time, I didn't stop and dropped a load in his sweet hole. I crouched down behind him and worked the load out of his ass with my tongue. I was in heaven. I then headed up on the bed and we swapped it around in our mouths for a while. HEAVEN!!

I have to admit, the older I get the more things like this turn me on. I love to taste cum from a clean ass. I'm amazed at how many guys call themselves pigs and then recoil in disgust when I mention this joy. F mentioned how his last boyfriend recoiled after he fucked F and F tried to suck his dick clean. "That was in your ass!" F was like "so what, it's clean". Now you understand why I enjoyed F so much. I told UntitledBB that I would like to take F home and keep him warm and safe in a little cage, fed, watered and fucked daily :-)

I wandered in and out of the party rooms. Stopping to suck a dick here, get mine sucked there, or just watch and stroke. I ended up in the back room and cflbarebacker was getting fucked by someone. I love this guy, and every inch of his body. I have wanted to slide into him again, but it has been months, as we always seem to be on different fuck paths. Well this time, I got my chance. He was on his back and I got to slide into his hot hole. I loved watching the look on his face as I fucked him. Everyone had wandered off and we had the room to ourselves. It was so hot that it didn't take me long to blow a load down his hot wet chute. Again, I dropped to my knees (which hurt like hell with the new ink) and greedily tongued my load out. I'm pretty sure I got more than my own. cflbarebacker came up for a taste, HEAVEN AGAIN!!

There were other highlights of the evening. Peter's lemon tarts were the most amazing treat I've had in ages. Apparently, ABBA as the soundtrack for bareback hardcore porn yields some interesting results. Tom makes a mean seafood dip. Oh yeah, and did I mention, F's ass was TO DIE FOR!!!!!!

The drive home was long as always, but this was a first. The LED billboards along I-4 proclaimed: Icy Conditions Reported. Slow Down. Use Caution. I've NEVER seen that before....on I-4

If you haven't checked out Men4Bareback.com by now, after all the times I've mentioned it, well you may be beyond my help :-) Seriously, it is free to sign up and gain access to ALL of the features. There is no bait and switch, no gimmick. Sign up for FREE and that is that. We have people come from all over for the monthly parties. There have even been people who have flown in for a party. Think of it, fly to Orlando, attend a bareback party with 30-40 hot guys, visit Mickey or Cinderella, get away from the cold (ok, well in a few days we'll be back to normal). I've said it before and I'll say it again, these parties are THE BEST play parties I've ever been to, and I've been to A LOT of play parties. Keep in mind, I managed a leather bar in San Francisco in the 90's, so play parties were pretty much weekly events for me. Still, I've not encountered a group of nicer, more considerate guys free of attitude, than at these parties. And they ACTUALLY FUCK, they just don't stand around and model. If you are gonna be in Central Florida on the 2nd Saturday of the month, this is the place to be!!!

A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T10:31:00.000-08:00

This is not the pilgrims and the indians, this is not the large family surrounding the table filled with freshly baked turkey and gravy. Today is just me and mom...and dad....sort of.

Dad is dying. There really is no way around this. He is confined to a hospital bed in the front room and is barely responding. Mom and I have adjusted his position to keep him comfortable. He opens his eyes, but can't speak. He is a frail, wilted skeleton of the man that was my father. We were never close as I was growing up. Over the years, he has mellowed and I've come to appreciate his love for me. Now, though, there is really nothing left. My dad has always had a dry sense of humor, but I could always make him laugh. Try as I may, he isn't laughing anymore, or even smiling.

His chest rattles as his lungs fill with fluid....again. Mom and I have spent the day talking about what we're gonna do....after. We've got to get a funeral home here, and then we'll need to get dad's ashes home (his real home, Cape Cod) for a scattering at sea. There will be a memorial service at some point there and probably one here in FL as well. So much to do, and he's not even dead yet.

I got up last night for a drink and was struck by the irony of a Do Not Resuscitate order signed and taped to the fridge. The whole house is full of death, and death still has yet to arrive. It's like we've prepared for Santa and now wait in our beds to hear the patter of hooves on the roof. We were talking and my mom and her friend, both nurses for 40 years or more said these types of deaths can be long and hard. It's funny, in the end, we are created to live not to die. We float smoothly through life and then when the end comes, our bodies don't let go. Our bodies know, even when we don't that this is a great gift and a blessing.

And still there are things to be thankful for. Dad isn't in pain...that's a BIG one. I've got 99 here with me and she is such a sweet dog. I've always called her my dark angel and she is again keeping me sane. Her wagging tail and instant drool at the sight of any food makes me smile. It's a beautiful day. A cold front has moved through and the clouds have parted leaving a cool crisp fall day, rare for this time of year in Florida. I've got some incredible friends and family, who I should never take for granted. I'm alive, that's always a good one.

You know, if you are reading this, then you are blessed. Not because of this blog, but because you have the technology and resources to be able to access the internet. This likely means you have food and shelter and most probably clothing (though I know a lot of you don't prefer to go without). When you feel the need to bitch about something, remember that. You have more than over 90% of the people on the planet...be grateful,

If your ex drives you nuts, if your parents piss you off, if your health isn't always what you hope, remember that you choose. You decide whether to love and live every minute or to waste them and throw them away.

Dad is dying in the other room and I just carved up a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket and opened some cans of veggies and a jar of gravy. This will be the first Thanksgiving since I was born that my Mom has not cooked a turkey dinner. At this point, neither of us cares about that. We'll sit down and give thanks for the little things and the big, and we'll have another Thanksgiving meal together. When I put the leftovers in the fridge, I'll wince a little at the DNR order, but know this. I will NOT be defeated. I will count every blessing for this big beautiful universe and I will thank the gods that in all of the world in all of time, I am here and now.

Epilogue.....

8 hours after I posted this, my father has passed. Peacefully, with my mom by his side where she has been for 44 years.

Blessings and rest Dad, you have most definitely earned it.

Twelationships and Twuck Buddies

2009-11-17T09:13:00.000-08:00

Ahh Twitter, you've done it again. Less than one month ago, I wrote "And now a word from our reality check....I'm "in love"" Well, here we are less than 30 days later, and I'm no longer in love. Not me, so much. I was never in love. I've pretty much always been in lust. The twelationship that I wrote of lasted a whole month and ended with a series of tweets that brought back all the angst and depression we all had come to expect.

Better, I say, to have Twuck Buddies. A Twuck Buddy is someone you meet on Twitter and then get together to fuck with. I had one such Twuck Buddy come and spend the weekend with me. D arrived on Friday morning and I picked him up at the airport. We headed directly to the hotel and checked in. We weren't in our room for 10 minutes when we were naked and rolling around on the bed. He prepared, while I waited on the bed getting more horny by the minute. Finally, he was ready and we fucked hard and fast. I ate his sweet ass and sucked his beautiful (huge might I add) cock. I pressed my cock into his TIGHT hole and had some actual trouble getting in. I fuck A LOT and never have any trouble. This ass was so tight, I pressed and pressed and it took a long time. Finally, I got in and it was awesome. D was making these great sounds under me on the bed and I was sweating and pounding. Finally, I dropped a nice load in his ass. I pulled out and shoved my tongue as deep in his ass as I could to taste my cum and his ass together.

We got dressed and headed out for lunch and then back to the hotel for more fucking. It was easier to get into his ass this time and I had a great time riding him. We curled up together on the bed for a nap and then headed out for some dinner.

Saturday was the Men4Bareback play party, so we spent the day doing non sex things. Didn't want to get to the party all worn out. The party was awesome. There were some new guys there, including D, and they were all hot. I went to the back room and D was back there getting his cock sucked and then he was getting fucked and then he was fucking someone. It was awesome to watch. I got to play with a lot of really hot guys and fucked a bunch. At one point, D asked me how many time I'd filled an ass so far and it was up to 4. Toward the end of the night, D was playing with this other really hot guy, R. R had a huge uncut cock and one of the most beautiful asses I'd seen in a long time. He and D were playing with some other guys. After a while, R was fucking D. There is nothing hotter than two black guys going at it, well nothing hotter unless I get to be in the mix.

F showed up late and I was happy. I have a man crush on F. Not for anything serious, I just think he is so hot and like to play with him. He has a beautiful cock and a great smile. Soon enough, I ended up in the sling room and dropped down to my knees to work on his cock. There was a bear type guy there with a nice PA. He came over and F got him to feed me his cock. I pulled the two guys closer together and shoved both in my mouth at the same time. I worked them for a while while I pounded on my cock with my fist. It was soon too late and I blew all over my hand and the floor. I scooped it all up and licked my hand clean. F pulled me up and kissed me deep, tasting my load. I was in heaven.

D and I headed back to the hotel, but not before D exchanged info with R. He mentioned that R might want to get together on Sunday. NICE!!! When we got back to the hotel, we ate leftovers from the night before and then hit the pillows drained from the night's fun. Sunday came quickly and we headed out for some shopping and then back to the hotel to wait for R. He was coming over after he saw a movie. I was so stoked. Two big black guys with big dicks and both hot as hell wanted to play with little old Charlie Brown me. R arrived and we got down to business pretty fast. I got to suck is beautiful uncut cock for the first time and then he went at D's ass with it. While he fucked D hard and deep, I took some photos and short vid clips and ate R's ass. His ass was sooooo sweet. It wasn't long before he was busting in D's ass and I was busting all over his ass. I ate up my load and then when he pulled out of D, I slurped up his load from D's ass and shared it with D. What a perfect afternoon!!

We ordered room service and hung out for a while. After R left, D and I watched HBO and hit the sack. Actually, I hit the sack and only learned the next morning that he was tweeting about jerking off while I was sleeping trying not to wake me :-) Drove D to the airport on Monday morning and he was on his way. I had such a great time with him, and can't wait for him to return. He says he will, and I hope he means it.

So, there's the twelationship. Lasts 30 days, you don't actually ever touch the other person or spend time in the same physical location. You make sure to tweet constantly too and about each other. When it's over, you make sure to tweet constantly too and about each other. Or, there is the twuck buddy. You REALLY get together, and REALLY fuck. You have lots of laughs, you curl up in bed together, you talk in person in real time, and did I mention, you REALLY FUCK....A LOT. I don't know about everyone else, but I'll take my Twuck Buddy any day!!!

Who Wants to Live Forever

2009-11-04T06:37:00.000-08:00

Today is a rough day. My Dad is in the hospital undergoing surgery to try and save at least one of his legs. He has had acute chronic heart disease for years along with diabetes and it is all taking its toll on him. The arteries and veins in his legs are so blocked, that multiple Dr's have said he will lose both legs above the knee within the next month without surgery to open the blocks. Here's the rub....the dye that they need to use during the surgery is very hard on the kidneys. He only has about 50% kidney function, so it is possible that the dye from the surgery will shut down what remaining kidney function he has, leaving him on dialysis for what's left of his rapidly fading life.

My mom called this morning, and said they had a really bad time getting the IV in and finally had to go in through his neck and that his chest x-ray showed a liter of fluid in one lung that they need to get out of him before they start the surgery. My poor mom is such a wreck. She is considerably younger than my dad (15 years younger) so she is in great health at 66. She is the one who has to take him from doctor to doctor, from test to test and surgery to surgery. Her life has become an endless waiting room. Sometimes she gets really angry and who could blame her. My dad has started to forget things. Important things, like the day after meeting with his surgeon for 90 minutes, he had forgotten he was going to have the surgery. He told my mother he didn't want any extraordinary measures, but when they filled out the forms, he had forgotten their conversation and did a 180. Mom just takes it all in stride and cares for him. She's a nurse, so in some ways, I think it's easier for her. In others, I think it's harder. She knows the risks, and the possible outcomes. She can't be blissfully unaware like others could.

I know it sounds horrible, but there is a part of me that wishes that my dad would go to sleep for the surgery and not wake up. He's suffered so much and it seems like this is just another way to prolong the suffering. My mom told me that getting old is not for wimps...I think she's right.

Today I woke up and Maine was lost to us...for now. I look at my mom and dad and wonder why the hell people want to get married so badly, why they want to tie their futures one to another and put up with all the shit my parents have had to. But then again, if not for my mom, who would have taken care of my dad. If not for her being constantly by his side, he's have died years ago. Personally, I don't want it. I've been down that road, and don't want to go there again...ever. But I can see the appeal. I have friends who have been together for many many years, and I wonder what things would be like for them if they were in my parents' situation. How would they be treated, who would make the decisions if the other couldn't? Things as simple as helping someone to the bathroom in their hospital room, would they be allowed?

And then I go back to who the fuck wants it. Let them have their marriage and their obligation and their ongoing stress. But, let's face it, we all do...want it. Who among us doesn't want to be able to love and be loved without reservation, without boundaries or limits? I guess what my parents are going through today is the meaty, visceral part of the picture. It's not the smiling faces on the ads for one side or the other of the argument, it's not the hug-ins and kiss-ins and weddings on the steps of city hall. In the end, it's the fact that we deserve the right to stand by the person we love as they crumble and fail. To wipe their bottoms, to clean up their messes, to shower them, to carry them and to carry out their wishes even till the end.

Last night, I don't know why, but I was thinking of this song. The words pretty much sum up the battle we face every day. Maine was just another loss. There will be more in the future, I'm sure, but in the end, we will prevail. Freddy really captures that here. There's no place for us, but there will be!!

Nails and Stakes and Fangs, OH MY!!

2009-10-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

The past few days have held a lot of fun for me. I've been able to exercise my pig spirit. Tuesday after work, I got a hair across my ass and decided to hit the bookstore. I typically don't go during the weekday, but I was horny as hell and wanted to play. I got there and there wasn't much going on. I hung out in the theaters and stroked my cock, edging for about an hour. I was getting bored and decided to make a pass through the video booth section. Now, remember, these booths have glory holes that are more like glory doors. They have been cut by the mgmt and are about 20" wide by 30" tall.

I headed into one booth that was next to a booth with the door closed. When I looked through the hole there was someone sitting there facing the hole rather than the video screen. Typically that means the person wants to work on a cock. I went and stood in front of the hole and let my cock fall out of my shorts. I stroked for a while and the seated figure didn't respond. Then I noticed something interesting. His hands were folded, and I couldn't see any of the fingers except for one. On that finger was a very pretty long manicured and painted nail. I reached in and stroked the nail and then the hands came apart to reveal a full set of very nice, likely expensive nails all beautifully manicured and painted to perfection. Once I started to rub one finger, the wall fell down and both hands were all over my cock and balls with those fancy nails. He tickled behind my balls with the nails, and I grabbed his hand and had him put them to more "firm" use on my cock and balls. The next thing I knew, his very soft mouth engulfed my dripping cock and he blew me while his nails pinched and poked all over my crotch.

When I was getting close, I bent down to ask a question and I saw a beautiful man with a shaved head, smooth face and virtually no eyebrows. His complexion was pale and his eyes were stunning. I was having a very hot encounter with a hot transexual. I asked my question. "Can I cum all over your nails and then eat it off?" He smiled the sweetest smile and said, "Sure honey, that would be fine". So, after a few stokes, I was cumming all over his outstretched fingers and hands. When I was done, I bent down and he offered his hands to me and I licked the cum off of every one, making sure every nail was clean. Then I left and headed home.

Yesterday I knew was gonna be a good day. I had a JO session planned with one of the guys from Tampa Bates and my Fleshjack Count Cockula was scheduled to arrive via UPS. My bate buddy had contacted me a few days earlier and asked if I wanted to do some one on one stroking. Of course, I was interested. The plan was after work, I'd head to his house for a jack off session and then I'd head home and use my Count Cockula.

I got to his house right on time, and we proceeded to get naked. He has a huge cock and I had a blast stroking it for him and rubbing his hole firmly while he played with his nipples. He was really into it and it wasn't long before he shot a nice creamy load. We sat and talked for a while about Tampa Bates and then I headed off. Well, he lives just on the other side of downtown Tampa and I was leaving his place at 5:30. I realized that I could either sit in traffic for an extra 45 min on the way home, or I could stop at the bookstore for that 45 min until the traffic was eased. Guess which one I chose?

There were a few hot guys at the bookstore, but it was actually pretty quiet for after work. I hung out in the theaters and stroked for about a half hour. I went to the video booths to see if there was anything going on. In the same booth as the day before, sat a guy facing the glory hole. He did not have fancy nails :-) but he did motion for me to give him my cock. I dropped my pants. I had my thick leather cock ring strapped on, so my cock was still hard from the theater strokes. The minute I eased up to the hole, this guy went nuts on my cock and balls. He started licking and chewing on my tight ball sack. He jerked my cock hard and then put it in his mouth.

Now, if you have a PA or other cock jewelry, you might get this next part. If not, you might get it too, but not in the same way. Now, sometimes there are people who suck your cock with your jewelry in, and you wouldn't even notice it was there. They are really good at handling it as part of your dick and not getting it all twisted and tweaked. Then there are those who are so bad at it, that it actually is too painful to let them continue. They seem to focus all their crappy cocksucking ability on your PA and their teeth get into the the way and you're getting scraped and scratched and not in a good way. Then there is the third group. At first, they seem like the second group. Their first few bobs on the cock, you sort of make a funny face and are almost ready to pull back, but then they do something wild. Typically, they are doing something that is right on the edge of pure pain and pure pleasure, but they know they are doing it and they are doing it quite well. This guys was like that. At first I was thinking, he's not that good, but in a few strokes, I was writhing all over the place, moaning loudly and my breathing was fast and furious. The almost pain was exquisite, and when I finally came, it was one of those orgasms that wipes you out to the point where you can't stand. I had to sit down and compose myself before I could even pull up my shorts. He gave me a thumbs up through the hole and I laughed.

When I left, I had missed all the traffic and made it home quickly. I got in and headed to the bathroom to soak my Fleshjack Count Cockula in some hot water. I got the lube and poppers ready and slipped in some good porn. I wasn't sure how good this session would be considering the wild blow job I had just received, but I'd been looking forward to this all day, so I was gonna try. When things were sufficiently soaked, I lubed up and slipped in. It was interesting watching my cock get "bitten" by the fanged mouth. The new Fang texture inside was awesome. It was like hundreds of soft tiny teeth massaging your cock. It took me a while to warm up, but once I did, I was loving it.

With the Fleshjacks, I find that at first it feels good, then after a period of use, it starts to feel great. It's sort of like when you jerk off. You know how it feels good at first, but there is a point when the pre-cum is flowing and your body is wound up when it suddenly starts to feel different and way better. This is how it is with the Fleshjack. All of a sudden, things go into overdrive and then I can start edging and really getting into it. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes, sometimes 20, but all of a sudden, I can feel every bump and ridge in the texture. I can move the Fleshjack a millimeter and feel each fang drag across my cock. Well, once I hit that spot, I just edged for a while until I finally pumped a load deep into Count Cockula's throat. It was really intense. As I came, it felt like each of the fangs was pressing into my cock. I just lay there for a while and let my cock go soft. When I flopped out of the fangs, I lifted the case and my cum dripped out of the very hot fanged mouth all over my cock. I was in heaven....or was it hell? After a while I had the energy to clean up. After a nice long hot shower, I hit the sack and slept like I was dead...or undead....mwuahahahahaha mwuahahahahaha :-)

TampaBates - My new Jack Off Club

2009-10-26T07:46:00.000-07:00

For a while now, I've wanted to start a Jack Off club in the Tampa Bay area. When I lived in San Francisco, I used to go to San Francisco Jacks and always had a good time. I've been to Jack Off clubs in other cities as well. I'm a huge fan of jacking off and like to do it as often as possible. Someone on Twitter posted about BateWorld.com and I checked it out. Really good site if you like to stroke your cock. The guys are friendly and there is lots of posting or pics, vids, etc.

There are many different groups on the site that you can sign up for. Popper Baters, Fleshlight Baters, Stuffing Baters, Jockstrap Baters, etc etc. I signed up for a bunch and posted some of my vids and pics to them. Lots of fun. I also hooked up with guys to jerk off via Yahoo web cam. Good times. Anyhow, I decided to to start a Tampa group and some guys signed up. Then I decided to take it one step further and set up a separate web site for the Tampa Jack Off Group. I called it Tampa Bates (a little play on Tampa Bay).

I set up the website, TampaBates.com and started posting on Craigslist to get people to sign up. The premise is simple. The group is an ongoing one, and parties will be held every 2-3 weeks. People only need to sign up once and then they will get the invite to all future parties. There is no cost to sign up or for the parties. Let me tell you this shit is work!!! I've received well over 100 emails from the Craigslist ads. I responded to each of them and directed them where to sign up. Some people had follow up questions, so those had to be answered, then once people signed up, I sent a welcome.thanks email with the first party details. Some didn't realize they were going to be added to an ongoing list and wanted to be removed, some couldn't make it but want to come to future parties....well, you get the idea.

This whole thing started on Wed. By Thurs, I had already scheduled the first party for Saturday. Clearly, it was moving very fast. On Saturday, I still had people wanting to join. By Saturday afternoon, we had about 30 people on the group list with about 20 who confirmed they were coming to the party. I was stoked and headed off to set up the party space. I had a cooler filled with ice and soda/water. There were chips to snack on, and there were lube and hand towels. As the afternoon wore on people started to cancel. First one, then two more, then another. I was getting a bit discouraged. The door time was 7-8pm. Everyone needed to arrive during that time. Clearly, you don't want to have to keep answering the door all night, so you set a specific time. 7pm came and went, nobody showed. 7:30 came and still nobody. I was getting really bummed. I was messaging with my buddy, Digger and was really bummed. He tried to get to me to cheer up, but that was not gonna happen. I was sort of short with him, which was just stupid.

As I was waiting, I checked Craigslist. A few guys had posted earlier that they were coming to the party and to get in touch with me. I was looking to see if there were any other ads. Then I clicked on an ad and saw the photo of the same guy who had cancelled an hour ago saying he had family stuff to attend to. Apparently "family stuff" consisted of getting fucked repeatedly by big hard cocks, at least according to his ad :-) Oh well, what you gonna do. It was about 7:40 and a knock came to the door. I answered in my first guest had arrived. He told me he saw some guys hanging outside who were probably shy about coming in. Sure enough, the knocks kept coming at the door. Sometimes, I would just get the door closed and another would come. All in all, there were 10 of us. Not a huge turn out, but much better than I had hoped.

When 8pm came, I locked the door and told everyone to get ready to stroke. One of the rules of the group is that if you are gonna stay you have to be naked at least from the waist down. I know that some guys are shy or have issues with their body, so there is no sense in making them uncomfortable by telling them they need to be completely naked, but if they are gonna stay the pants need to go. There is nothing worse than being at any kind of sex party and having someone sitting there fully clothed, sipping a soda and munching chips, STARING at you while you try to get busy. I'm sort of an asshole when it comes to that and will normally find a way for my naked ass to end up knocking over their soda or cumming on their chips. But, I was hosting this one, so there would be nobody sitting around fully clothed.

Well, everyone stripped really fast and found their spots. Guys were stroking themselves and others in record time. I had brought a new jar of Albolene with me, and it appeared to be a crowd favorite. I was aghast that some guys had never heard of or used Albolene to JO before. It is the lube of the gods, and one in any true masturbator's inventory. I even have made my own in the past as the shit is expensive...but I digress (Albolene recipe at end of post).

So pretty much everyone was stroking everyone else. There were white guys, black guys, short/fat guys (me), tall skinny guys, smooth guys, hairy guys, all with one thing in common, hard cocks that were being stroked.

I made my way over to this really hot Bear couple. One of the guys had a HUGE uncut cock and I grabbed it. We slathered on some Albolene and we were off. I stroked him with one hand while I played with his nipples with the other. He was very receptive. He was stroking my cock at the same time and it was feeling good. Some of the guys were in groups of 2 or 3 or even 4. The whole thing was very organic. A group would form and then one would break off and start stroking another and another group would form. I love organic shit like that!!! There was a really hot black guy with beautiful tatts and a really nice cock. I went over and sat next to him and stroked him for a while while he stroked another guy. Then I felt a hand on my cock and another guy had joined us. This when on for what seemed like forever but was probably about 30 minutes.

I was sitting next to the black guy and he asked what time it was. I told him and he said he needed to go and pick up his daughter, he had promised his wife (FUCKING HOT!!!) He asked where to point his load and a number if guys wanted it on them. He opted for his hand, but I got mine in there to get about half of it, which I then wiped all over my cock. I went back to my bear buddy and started stroking his cock with my cum lubed hand. He was really getting into it, and I reached down with my other hand to rub his hole with my finger. He nodded and let out a deep breath. I leaned over and licked on his nipples while one hand stroked his cock and another teased his asshole. Before long he was shooting. Then his partner went. It was like dominoes, one guy after another dropped a load. Some into a towel, others onto their buddy's belly or chest. Pretty soon everyone had dropped a load except one last guy. A few guys helped him out, but it just wasn't happening. Others got dressed and left and he stayed behind with me. We stroked each other for a while but he wasn't getting there. He cleaned up and headed out, but was thrilled as jerking off with a group had been his fantasy for many years, so even though he didn't pop, he was one happy camper.

I cleaned everything up and headed for home. I'm now working on ways to grow the group. Ads on Craigslist are ok, but they are time consuming to answer and deal with all the flakes. There are guys in Orlando who have a group, Orlando Wankers, that have been doing it for a long time, so I'm gonna talk to them about how they built their group.

I've already scheduled the next party and can't wait to see how things go. I'm hoping each one will get a little be better than the next!!!

Homemade Albolene Recipe:

You'll need:

16 oz. bottle mineral oil (check the laxatives aisle)

3.75 oz tub petroleum jelly

Paraffin (Gulf Wax is sold in boxes in the canning section of supermarket or Wal-Mart)

[Variations: Baby Oil is just mineral oil with added fragrance, and Vick's Vaporub is just petroleum jelly with stuff like menthol and oil of wintergreen thrown in, so you can substitute either of those to give the "Albolene" a nice scent.]

* Measure out 10 oz. (1-1/4 cup) mineral oil and pour into old saucepan.

* Add about half the tub of petroleum jelly.

* Use a hand grater to grate 1/4 cup of wax (paraffin) (pack the grated wax into the measuring cup as you would do for brown sugar).

* Warm the oil/jelly mixture over low heat. When jelly has melted into the oil, slowly stir in the grated wax and let that melt completely.

* Remove from heat, let liquid come down to near room temperature, and then pour into empty Albolene tub or Tupperware container to cool and solidify. It will end up looking quite a bit like Vaseline, but the mineral oil and wax give the mixture its own distinctive feel.

* Optional steps: If you want to guarantee the closest possible match in texture to the "real thing," have some extra grated wax ready and chill a ceramic or glass plate in the freezer as you're heating the mixture.

* Then use a spoon to drop a small amount of the melted mixture onto the chilled plate, which will cause it to solidify in seconds.

* Check the texture with your fingers to see if it feels "just right," and if not, melt in a little more of the grated paraffin.

* Use very hot water and plenty of dish soap to clean the grease off the saucepan and measuring cup!

* After the homemade Albolene has thoroughly cooled and solidified, grab your favorite porn, whip your dick out, and really put the stuff to the test!

Bear Bust 2009 Part 3- I pissed on (and in) a Bear!!!

2009-10-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning came fast. I was wiped from all the fun on Friday and slept well at the hotel. The rooms were comfortable and so were the beds! Well, Saturday morning was cool. And my cool, I'd guess mid to upper 40's. For FL, that's cool :-) Got my coffee and sat out in the courtyard area and watched. I really like to watch. There is so much you can find out, just by watching. People fascinate me, anyway, so I always like to watch when I get the chance.

Well, as I'm sitting there, I'm messenging with my buddy, Digger, and my BlackBerry gets really sluggish. So, I reboot it and it comes up frozen. Try again, nothing, pull the battery, nothing. Typically, I would have just used it to find the closest Verizon store and go in, but I couldn't, so I had to go to my room and check my laptop and then....gasp...write down directions to the closest store. Oh the horror!! Luckily, it wasn't far away and I was back and ready to go before most of the bears had finished their second helping at breakfast.

I saw this one really cute cub that I had had my eye on all weekend. Typically, he was with a big group, but today he was alone. I headed over and struck up a convo. One thing led to another and before he knew it, he was back in my room, naked on the bed. This one was a real nasty pig cub. He liked it all. Before long, we were in the piss pool, and I was drenching him with the piss from my morning coffee. He drank from the tap, which is a big turn on for me, and then turned around and asked me to fill him up. Well, I had by coffee, but had not been drinking lots of fluids all do, so I told him that would have to be later, if he wanted. He was very receptive to that.

I let him suck my cock for a while and decided to save the fucking for later. His mouth was hot and he was doing a good job, so eventually, I just blew a load down his throat. He swallowed every drop and had a big smile on his face. We made arrangements to hook up later for a more in depth session.

I cleaned up the piss pool and headed back out to the real pool. I lounged around the Lazy River, but the breeze was really cool, so I headed over to the regular pool, which was heated and warmer and hung out there for a while. When I got out of there, the breeze was making me so cold, I headed back to my room and dried off and changed into some dry clothes. As I was heading out, I stopped at the balcony to watch the guys below. A guy stopped next to me and we started talking. He was drinking a Grey Goose and Hawaiian Punch blend. Truly RedNeck!! We chatted for a few minutes and I asked if he wanted to go back to my room to fuck. He was all for it, so we went back and got naked. This was a big bear, smooth with a nice very curved cock. We sucked each other's cocks for a while and then I spun him around, spit on my cock and shoved it in his hole. He was tight, and felt soooo good. I fucked him for a while and then turned him over on his back. I fucked his hole while I sucked on his toes and feet. Wasn't long before I felt the tickle and told him I was gonna blow soon. He told me to breed him, and so I did. Played with his cock a little more and he shot a nice load, which I slobbered up and then shared with him via out mouths.

I was pretty tired after that last session, so I sent him on his way and eventually, took a little bear nap. It was just what I needed to get ready for the evening. When I awoke, I filled my big water bottle with water and started to drink...A LOT...I had plans for the last night there. I put on my Recycle Here t-shirt and a pair of jeans (it was really cold out) and headed out to find my piss cub from earlier. As I was headed there, a few guys commented on my shirt. I stopped to talk to them and told them we were gonna be playing and pissing in my room soon. They were all for it. When I found my bud from earlier, he was standing there with two really hot bear cubs. He said his friends wanted to join in, if that was OK. Silly boy, of course they can join in :-)

Back at my room, there were the two I met on the way down, plus my piss cub and his two cub buds. We all got naked and some of us got in the pool. By this time, I was bloated like a beach ball from all the water in me, and had needed to piss for the past 30 minutes. My piss cub and BOTH of his buds got down on their knees in front of me, and I proceeded to cover them with a steady stream of hot piss. Suddenly, there was another stream from beside me and one of the other guys had joined in the fun. Soon enough and some of the cubs started to piss all over themselves and each other. It wasn't long before we all were covered and dripping. We all jumped into the shower for a quick rinse and then the sucking and fucking commenced. I fucked all three of the cubs one after the other. The other two guys fucked or were fucked by one or another of the cubs. As guys needed to piss, they would just let the group know and one or more would join them in the piss pool. It was so fucking hot.

Guys were cumming and pissing all over. I had been holding back my piss for a while and finally I slid into my piss cub from earlier in the day. After I fucked him for a while, I let go with steady stream that filled his ass. He was moaning and begging me for more, and I gave it to him. I kept fucking and I could tell my piss was making him uncomfortable as I kept fucking. Finally, I couldn't hold back and I blew my load in his hole with my piss. It was so hot. He was laying on his back and as I reached over to grab his cock, he started to shoot without me even touching it. He was a keeper.

We all played some more, as different guys came. It was getting late when we finally cleaned up and called it a day. Everyone left the room with big smiles.

I was wiped out and was in bed fairly early. Slept like a log. When I woke on Sunday, it was even cooler than it had been the day before. I got everything packed and headed down for some coffee. It was a ghost town. Apparently all the bears were still hibernating due to the cold weather. There was a brunch scheduled for 11:30, but it was only 9:30 and I didn't feel like sitting around for 2 hours for some free food. I packed the car and headed home. I was so horned up on the way home, thinking about all the good times, that I stopped at my favorite Adult Bookstore and dropped my load in some willing mouth in the gloryhole. I was home by 11:30, and had my own private brunch before I had my Sunday nap.

It was a great time at Bear Bust. I already reserved my room for next year. This time, I'm gonna pay the extra $$ for a room facing the waterpark rather than the parking lot. It will be easier to pick out my victims that way......

And now a word from our reality check....I'm "in love"

2009-10-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm not really in love. I just need to talk about this, cuz it really has me in a fit. I tweet....a lot...some of you know me from Twitter, some don't. Anyhow, I am constantly amazed at how many people fall "in love" on Twitter. I'm not talking about people who get to know each other and then date and spend time together; I'm talking about people who tweet back and forth...140 fucking characters at a time....and send a few emails and a few phone calls and suddenly they are "in love". One recent couple comes to mind. One of the guys has been through 3 or 4 "loves" in the past 3 or 4 months. The other broke up with his last Twitter lover, and went into a pit of despair that almost dragged the entire continent down with it. "My life sucks, I hate my life, I'm wasted and don't care about anyone or anything and oh yeah, ps, my life sucks." But after a short time, not only are they "in love", they are actually talking about marriage...WTF?????

Funny thing about both these guys is that when they are not with their "Twoves" they are all chatty and friendly, and I do mean friendly. Both have sent me pics of their cocks and their asses and other assorted naked parts. One of them spent a good deal of time talking to me via text and we got into detail about everything I was gonna do to him and he told me how much he wanted it. To put it bluntly, he is a little fucking pig :-) Of course, we would never work out, as he has this weird idea about monogamy, and I'll never go down that road again. But it was fun talking with him and talking dirty with him. Of course, I was usually watching porn or cooking dinner or brushing the dogs. Let's face it, it's cyberland, not the real world. But, he was a cute kid and seemed to need to be cheered up. Of course, he still lived with his parents and has no job, and I'm a 43 year old professional with a mortgage and car payment and 401k. I could see visiting him and meeting his parents, both the age of my younger sister.....oh god. We could cuddle in their basement and it wouldn't be too awkward when his mom came down to put the laundry in the dryer. So you get the idea, fun to talk, but not "love". Then over night, he was "in love" and I never heard a word from him, in private at least. Won't hear from him again, until the two "Twovers" break up, and suddenly the dirty talk and naked pics will flow again.

These two and many like them know nothing of being "in love". Being in love is paying the bills and figuring out what's for dinner and going to their parents' house even though their parents refer to you as "him". Being in love is sharing a closet even though, let's face it, you have a greater need for a bigger wardrobe than they do. Being in love is sitting in silence and not caring if either one of you ever says another word. Being in love is knowing every inch of the other's body by touch, taste and smell, not because you've seen some photos, but because you have been in each other's presence....being present to each other, that's a big one. Being in love is cleaning up shit and piss and blood and puke as the person you love disintegrates before your very eyes from a disease no one can cure. Being in love is holding them as they take their last breath, and then waiting to be sure it is their last breath before you fall apart, part of you secretly relieved and part of you hating you for being secretly relieved. Being in love is carrying their clothes home from the hospital, smelling their scent and knowing you will never smell that scent again. Being in love is getting the ashes back and wondering at how they could fit that big guy in that small urn. Being in love is carrying that same disease and wishing every day for the rest of your life that you could have traded places with them and given them back their life.

"My twitter bf broke up with me, my life is over" ... well Boo Fucking Hoo....welcome to the real world, Nancy!! And here's the kicker, they are completely oblivious to the farce this has become. Person after person will discuss it privately about how it is really a big joke. And they have no idea. For many, the only real thing is that there will be 2x the despair and angst to read about when this particular "twove" fails.

Anyhow, that is all. Back to our regularly scheduled pig talk!!!

In the way of full disclosure, I have to say that I know two other guys who met on Twitter and are actually really in love...but here's the kicker, they actually got to know each other IRL as they say, before realizing they had something real. I'm happy to say, they are actually moving toward moving in together very soon.

Bear Bust 2009 Part 2 - (I bred a bear)

2009-10-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

Friday morning came quickly. I was so wiped from Thursday, I slept like a baby. The beds in the hotel were really comfy. I got up and showered and put on my Bareback University tank top from Men4Bareback.com. I headed down and got a coffee and sat out in the courtyard area to people watch. As I pretty much travel alone, and have for the past 12 years, I've gotten pretty comfortable with sitting in the middle of the action and watching, observing. I watched all the hot bears go to and fro, and also watched to see who gave my shirt a double take. I knew that the shirt would either attract or repel, or maybe a little of both. One really hot little cub walked by, he was a ginger cub, which I love!!! I saw him read the shirt and smile, and then he did the old, walk away and turn back. When he did, I was ready and waved him back. He came over and I invited him to sit with me. He did, and we talked for a few minutes. The first thing he said was, "I like your shirt". We made some small talk for a few minutes and then I suggested that we head back to my room for a Bareback University hands on lab. He was up for it, so we did. It was already 10am.

We got back to my room and stripped. I pushed him down on the floor on his knees and fed him my cock. He was an excellent cocksucker. I gave him some instruction as we went along. I really like it when a guy chews on my cock. Not bites it, mind you, but chews on it. I think that teeth are really an underused sex organ. I coached him on how to chew on the shaft just right, and how to drag his bottom teeth along the shaft as he sucked my cock. My hand was on the back of his head and when he did good, I was rubbing his head, when he needed a correction, I yanked his hair a bit. He got the idea. The whole idea is to add to the experience, not to draw attention to the teeth. When I use this on guys, pretty much every time their cock gets twice as hard in my mouth.

After a while, I had him stand up. His cock was rock hard and dripping precum like a faucet. I laid him down on the bed on his back and lifted his legs over my shoulders. I drove my tongue into his sweet ass and he moaned. I kept forcing my tongue deeper into his ass, and it opened willingly. I added a few fingers and he was groaning and wiggling around on the bed. I had already lubed up my cock and in one motion, I stood up and slammed my cock all the way in to the hilt. He let out a gasp and then a big smile. I looked down and his cock was throbbing and dripping pretty hard. I started with slow deep strokes and then fucked him deep and faster, accelerating the thrusts more and more. He was looking me in the eyes and I could tell he was hungry. Both is his hands were on my hips, pulling me in deep to his ass. All of a sudden he got a strange look on his face and then looked at his cock. To my surprise, his cock started jumping around and shooting cum everywhere. I can honestly say it was one of the hottest things ever. I've only fucked a few guys to hands free orgasms, but this one was the best by far. Once I saw his cock start to shoot with no help from him, I lost it and drove deep into his ass where I dropped my load. It felt like I was coming forever. We finally both collapsed onto the bed and lay there in each other's arms for a few minutes. Finally we got up and got dressed. He headed off to his room and I headed down to the Lazy River to float in the sun and relax.

A few hours later, I met a group of friends. There were 3 of them. They also commented on my shirt and we struck up a conversation. Seems they were looking to put a little group together. Two of them were bottoms, one was a top. We all headed back to one of their rooms and had a great fuckfest. I fucked both the bottoms, and so did the other top. We played around for about 90 minutes and then while the other top was fucking one of the bottoms, he turned to me and said, "Put it in me". Well, you don't have to ask me twice. I slid my cock into his VERY tight ass while he fucked the bottom. The other bottom came over and started licking my balls and the balls of the other "top". It was wild. We all came pretty close together and then we all went back down to the cruising. Again, I hit the Lazy River and then the pool. It was a beautiful day.

Later in the afternoon, I was back in my room and figured I'd check craigslist to see if anyone had posted any bear related play parties or anything. There was one ad from a guy looking to suck cock and swallow loads and he was at my hotel. I replied to the ad and asked what room number, then I headed to his room. Once there, he wasted no time in wrapping his talented mouth around my cock. He told me that he wanted me to sit on his chest and fuck his face while he lay on the bed. Not being one to disappoint, I climbed up on his chest and fucked his face....hard...and deep. He was gagging and moaning at the same time. After a few minutes of this, I heard from his grunts that he was shooting. I looked back and saw him shoot his load. I got off his chest and lay on the bed and he proceeded to suck me off until I came with a shudder.

By this time, it was late in the afternoon and the the pools and courtyard area were full of bears. There was a Welcome Party with food, and the bears do like a good feed, so they were there in droves. I watched from the 2nd floor balcony, trying to pick out the next contestants. I was already wiped from the day's events, so I headed back to the room for a little disco nap. It did me a world of good and I headed back out to prowl. I went to the vendor fair and got a nice new stainless donut cock ring (I had lost mine a few years back and never replaced). I also got a great T-shirt that had a yellow recycling logo with the words Recycle Here on it. It's hard to find a good watersports t-shirt these days, so I knew I wanted this one.

It was now getting after dark and I was again on the prowl. I saw the ginger cub from earlier along with a another guy. He motioned me over and asked if I wanted a repeat with his buddy. Well, you don't have to ask me twice!! We went back to the room. One of the guys saw my Fleshlights and said they had always wanted to try one. Well the next thing I knew, we were all on the bed pounding our cocks with the Fleshlights. After a short time, I pulled off my Fleshlight and stuck my cock in the ginger cub. He was still pounding his cock with a Fleshlight and kissing his buddy. I then moved over to the buddy. I slid my cock in, and took control of his Fleshlight. I matched the motion of the Fleshlight with my thrusts into his ass. It didn't take long for him to let out a yell and fill the Fleshlight with his juice. I pulled out and slid back into ginger cub and did the same with him. Again, he came pretty quickly and I pulled out. I ate each of their asses for a while and fed each of them their loads from the Fleshlights. Then I lay back and slid my cock back into my Fleshlight and finished myself off, while one of them licked my balls and the other one stuck his tongue down my throat. We just lay there, dazed and recovering for a while and then I kicked them out and I cleaned up and headed down to the courtyard for some dancing.

It wasn't long before I headed back to the room and passed out from all the action. I should have listened to Digger and paced myself. Well, a good night sleep and I'd be ready to go again. I had already planned that Saturday was gonna be piss day!!

Bear Bust 2009 - I fucked a bear...well a lot of bears!! (Part 1)

2009-10-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'd been looking forward to Bear Bust for a few months. I signed up at the beginning of August and reserved my room at the host hotel. Finally on Thursday, the time had come. I wrapped things up at work by lunch and headed over to the hotel, about an hour away. I realized as I drove that I forgot my board shorts for the pool, so I stopped along the way for a pair. I got to the hotel, the Clarion Waterpark Hotel at about 2:00 pm. The signs of bear were already well established. I checked in and was told that there were no more King rooms available, so I was given a room with 2 queens. Even better, one bed to fuck, one to sleep!! There were bears already loitering around the lobby and cruising was obvious. I headed to my room to unload the car and then came back to register.

At registration, we were given a run photo badge to wear as well as wrist bands to get into the waterpark. I asked them if it was OK to wear the wrist bands as cock rings. The first guy was not amused. He was pretty much a bitchy queen who was complaining about all kinds of shit. The next guy, however was cute and asked me to show him. So, out came the cock and balls. He gave it a little fondle and the weekend had officially begun.

I headed out by the pool and waterpark. The place is pretty nice. There are some waterslides and a the Lazy River, which is pretty much a moat around the waterpark about 2.5 feet deep. There are big floats which you can lay on, and the lazy river winds you around. Very relaxing. Within the first hour I was there, I saw a really hot little bear. We struck up a conversation and, well, I'm a little shy, so it took about 5 minutes to say, "we should really go fuck". He agreed and we went back to my room.

In the room, we ripped of our clothes and fell on the bed pawing at each other. He dropped down and slid my cock into his mouth. He was good, really good. After a while, I pulled him up and flipped him over and started eating his ass. It tasted sweet and salty. He had a really hairy ass, which was turning me on. I spit on my cock and went to slide it in his ass. He told me to stop and then reached over for the poppers. He took a deep draw and then I pushed in. I was so horned up in anticipation of the weekend, that it didn't take long to blow my load in his hole. He let out a moan and then started to shoot himself. I pulled out and ate his ass for a minute and then ate up all the cum off his cock. Our mouths met and we swapped cum back and forth. Then I kicked him out.

I headed down and grabbed a float and floated around the Lazy River. There were guys all around, lots of hot guys, and I knew it was gonna be a great weekend. After about an hour of floating, I headed back to the room to change into dry clothes. I went and sat out on the big common area outside of the pool and waterpark and messaged with my buddy Digger. By now, it was getting dark, and guys were milling around. I was freeballing the whole weekend and find it difficult to keep my hands off my cock. I'm always absentmindedly fondling it through my shorts. A very tasty couple stopped by and asked if I needed any help. Of course I needed some help.

We got back to their room, and I found out that they were both bottoms. Well, one was versatile, but I guess that was only if they met another bottom. After some initial sucking, triangle style, I bent them both over the bed. I slid into one while they kissed. Pounded out a few strokes and then slid into the other. I kept this up for a while until I couldn't take any more. I pulled out and came a bit on each of their holes and then I pushed it in with my cock. Finally, I ate each of their holes. We all lay on the bed swapping spit and cum and then I got up and left. They were still stroking each other as I walked out.

I headed back to the central area and hung out for a while. They had a DJ playing music all day and up to 1am. Nobody was dancing....well, except for me. I realized earlier in the day, that I should have got a Men4Bareback.com t-shirt at the party the weekend before to wear at Bear Bust. I mentioned it to my buddy from M4BB.com and he offered to drive one down to the hotel for me. I didn't want him to go through the trouble, but he didn't mind, so he showed up with a great Bareback University tank top for me. I knew it would either attract or repel, but I am who I am, so I never really care either way :-) After he left, I headed back into the music and talked with a few guys. One asked me if I liked to fuck....ah yeah I do! We went back to my room and I fucked him hard and fast. I was pretty much spent from the earlier fuckings, so I didn't cum. I did fuck him until he shot his load all over his belly. I licked it up and shared it with him. We lay on the bed for a while, both wiped out. I finally kicked him out and cleaned up. I was bone tired so I hit the sack, with dreams of bears dancing through my head. Digger kept telling me to pace myself, as I still had Fri-Sun left to go. He was soooo right!!

Weekend weary

2009-10-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

Wow, what an awesome weekend. I am spent and tired and drained and satisfied all at the same time. The weekend started for me on Friday evening. I had been reading all of the nasty tweets on twitter and was horned up and ready by the time Friday evening rolled around. It was about 5:30 when I hit the bookstore. It was busy for a Friday evening. Lots of guys out of work and trying to get off before they go home to their wives and their loveless marriages :-) I was in the big theater stroking my hard cock in the dark glow of the bad porn when a guy came in and sat right next to me. He reached over and took my cock in had hand and stroked me. He had good technique and knew how to handle a dick with some big jewelry. I let him work on me for about 15 minutes and then headed to the "alternative" theater. There were a few guys in there when I arrived and I could tell that I had interrupted something. I told them to "carry on" and sat down and pulled out my dick. There was a cute beefy little guy across from me and when he saw my cock and my jewelry, his eyes lit up. He dropped his shorts and turned his back to me and bent over. Not being one to ignore an invitation, I stood up, dropped a little lube on my cock and dribble some on his hole and shoved it in hard and fast. He gasped and then proceeded to ride my cock like it was his last. He was jerking his sizable piece when, between gasps, he told me he was gonna shoot. There is nothing that sends me over the edge faster than when a guy comes with my cock in his ass. I told him I was gonna blow too. As I started to feel his ass tighten and he started to groan, my cock responded and started to convulse. We both came hard at the same time. I pulled out, grabbed some paper towels and headed to the bathroom for a quick refresher.

I spent some time in the booths. There was a guy back there who was a pro at sucking my rod. After a while I motioned for him to slide his through the hole and he stood up to reveal a pair of red satin panties. I chewed on his cock through the panties and then he turned around. I pulled the panties to the side and started to eat his ass. It was salty, with a mild sweaty musk. I was stroking my cock and then stood up and drove it right into his pantie clad hole. He was a loud one, banging the wall and grunting. The more noise he made, the harder I drove. After a while, I got bored and pulled out. As I left the booth, his red pantied ass was still hanging through the hole.

I went back to the straight theaters in the back and there was the little beefy guy looking for more. I followed him into one of the rooms and asked if I could fuck him again. The question was not even off my lips when he had his pants down around his ankles and was bent over a bench. There was no need to lube up this time, as he was dripping and so was I. I rode him hard and fast again and again, he started to cum while I was reached around pulling on his uncut meat. That got me going and I blew my load deep in his ass. This time, I dropped to my knees behind him and buried my tongue in his ass. My cum started to work its way out and into my mouth. My mouth and my goatee were covered in my cum and spit and lube. I stood up and asked if he wanted to share but he said no way. Oh well, his loss. I zipped up and headed to the bathroom for a final rinse before I headed home.

Saturday was the Men4Bareback.com monthly Bareback Party. I love these parties. Arnie and Larry are the best hosts ever, and the crowd is always fun. There is no attitude, and lots of sex. I arrived with my Buffalo Chicken Dip and said my hellos. Then I stripped, grabbed a towel and was ready to go. I went into the back and there were some guys already going at it. I joined in and we had some fun. After a while 2 of the guys drifted off and left me with one other guy. He jumped on the bed and bent over. I slid my cock in and fucked him until I unloaded into his ass. I dropped down and ate his ass and tasted my cum for a while. We both smiled as we headed out to the kitchen for a snack. A while later and I found myself in the sling room. My buddy John was in the sling and there was a hot bear guy (one of the ones I was playing with earlier) fucking him. I stroked John's cock while the bear fucked. There was a guy waiting who was bedazzled like I used to be. He had a huge PA, a full frenum ladder, and a lot of scrotum piercings with big jewelry. I watched as he slowly worked his pierced throbbing meat into John's hungry hole. I let them do their thing and headed to the back bedroom.

There was a group of about 7 or 8 back there, so I joined in the fun. There was a hot bear cub visiting from Maryland and we started to play. Before I knew it, I was buried to the hilt in his ass and riding along. I fucked him for quite a while and then dropped my second load of the night into his ass. Once again, I bent down to taste my cum from his ass, heaven!! There was lots of other play, lots of sucking and stroking and some more fucking. Toward the end of the evening, I got the hot little bear cub from out of town in the master bedroom and fucked him again. I dropped my 4th and final load of the night into his ass. Then I slurped as much as I could from his ass. I offered to share, but he declined. That's OK, more for me :-) After a while I got dressed and headed out. I had a 90 minute drive ahead and knew that Sunday I was meeting my piss pig for some fun.

I was still horny as I drove home from the party. One of the guys had gifted me with some new bareback porn. I couldn't wait to check it out. When I got home, I went to bed, but was so horned up, I couldn't sleep. I put in the porn and started to jerk off. The next thing I knew it was 3am and I was shooting a huge load all over myself. I scooped up what I could and sucked it off my hand and fingers, then I took a quick shower and hit the sack.

Sunday was my day to play with my triathlete piss pig. We've been getting together every 2 or 3 weeks since we met. He has a boyfriend and I don't want one, so it is a perfect arrangement. He had run a race on Sunday morning and was not recovering really well. When he showed up, I could tell he was not his normal piggy self. No worries, we cuddled on the bed for a while and then started to sucked each other off. I ate his sweet ass while he groaned. I finally pulled out a Fleshjack which he had wanted to try. While he stroked his cock with it, he sucked my cock as I knelt beside him on the bed. I had the video camera and filmed the whole thing. After a while, while I fingered his ass, he came in the Fleshjack. I filmed as he poured his cum out all over his cock and then I slurped it up. I could tell he was whipped, and he kept apologizing. I told him to sit back and relax as I massaged his feet while he purred on the bed. He had dinner plans, so he got dressed and left. I took the used Fleshjack that he had cum in, and started fucking it. It was slick and gooey inside as I fucked it, finally adding my load to the remnants of his load. I poured all the slick cum out of the Fleshjack and into my mouth. What a perfect way to end the weekend!!

Yet another Fleshlight post

2009-10-02T11:04:00.001-07:00

The other day, I got my newest Fleshlight in the mail, the Tegan Presley Lotus Fleshlight. The Tegan Presley is one in a series of Fleshlights that is modeled after actual porn star pussy. I'm guessing that they do a casting of the pussy and then make a mold for the Fleshlight. The STR8 boys go gaga over these, apparently they think they are somehow fucking the real thing, and have some weird fantasies that these porn startlets would ever even give them a second look.

Now, let's get something straight (pardon the pun). I have fucked pussy before, and here's a shocker, I liked it....a lot!! I even found a local couple that are POZ and so I get to BB with wifey and hubby. Up until about 8 years ago, I'd never been with a woman, but I watch a lot of str8 porn and had always fantasized about being with a woman. The bottom line is that my cock likes pussy and I like to eat pussy, but I don't want to have anything to do with a woman from a romantic/relationship standpoint. If I'm gonna cuddle with someone, it's gonna be a hot man.

If you go to the Fleshlight/Fleshjack forums, you'll see a number of the gay boys who are completely turned off by having a pussy on their toys, even if it is the replica of a famous porn starlet. I laugh when some of them say they won't even put their dick in a fake pussy....geez, it's some fake silicone/rubber like tube you stick your cock in, once the cock is in, I'm pretty sure nobody could tell the difference. But, I digress.......

The Fleshlight Girls, as they are known, have a special texture all their own, called the Lotus texture. It is supposed to be the closest thing to a real pussy on the inside of anything out there. Speaking from experience, I have to say that this is not false advertising. This thing feels INCREDIBLE!!! If you've fucked a pussy, you know that once you get in the opening, things are not at tight as an ass or even a mouth can be. But there is something subtle about fucking a pussy that you just don't get in an assshole or a mouth. It's hard to put my finger on it, but my cock is caressed more gently, almost tickled. There is lots of discussion on the forums about the Lotus texture and how it is not for everyone. For one thing, it is pretty much smooth for the first 5.5 inches or so. After that, things get interesting, there are nodes and ridges. If you are less than 6 inches, the Lotus is probably not worth the extra money as you won't really feel the texture at all. If however, you are a little over 7", like me, you will be amazed. The things that this unit does to your cockhead cannot be described in writing. Let's just say, it will rock your cock.

Of all the Fleshligh/Fleshjack's I own (up to 11 of them now.... I know it's a sickness!!), the Lotus is by far my favorite. The link below will take you to the Fleshlight Girls site where you can get your own porn starlet to poke. Below that are a few clips of me fucking my new pussy :-)

Missing Chief

2009-09-30T05:58:00.001-07:00

Six months ago today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to my 3 year old pup, Chief. I had rescued Chief from the pound 2 years earlier and he was the love of my life. Chief was a big dog, and sort of awkward, like a teenager. He was so sweet to me, and spent many nights with me curled up sleeping on the bed. In fact, I really think he believed the bed was his and I was just a guest, that typically didn't get more than a few inches of space most nights :-)

In the morning of March 30, I was getting ready for work when out of nowhere, Chief attacked 99, my oldest dog. 99 was also rescued from a parking lot behind a convenience store. I've had her for almost 11 years. Chief had never shown any signs of aggression toward 99, although he did not get along with my other dog, Max. About 6 months after I brought Chief home, he went after Max and caused $1200 of emergency vet damage. From that day on, I had to keep Max and Chief separated. Chief and 99 had been buddies, however. They played together all the time. It was a complete shock when Chief attacked 99. He grabbed onto her neck and would not let go. He was tossing her around like a rag doll. At almost 90 lbs, he was twice the size of 99 at 45 lbs. I screamed, I beat on him with a broom, I pulled on him, I got bit myself (yeah I know you are not supposed to get in the middle, but when your baby is being torn apart, thinking goes out the window).

After what seemed like hours, but was more like 10 minutes, They were separate. I got Chief into a back room and assessed the damage on 99. There was blood all over the house. There was blood on the rugs, on the walls, on the furniture. 99 was curled up hiding behind the recliner barely breathing and still bleeding. I rushed her to the Vet and they took her in right away. The news was not good. She was bleeding internally and had lost a ton of blood. They didn't know if she was going to make it. I was devastated. Chief had already done something very similar to Max, and now 99. I knew that he could not stay in the house any longer. I talked with the vet and they agreed that it would be hard to get any of the rescues to take Chief due to his aggressive acts. Also, we knew if I brought him to animal control, they would euthanize him. I could not in good conscience give him to anyone with pets or children, and to be honest, for the first time I was actually afraid for my own safety.

I went home while we waited to see if 99 was going to pull through. Chief knew something was wrong and he came and sat in front of my with his bloody paw on my knee. There was dried blood all over his face. I cried. I cried like I hadn't cried in a long time. After about an hour, I got up and put on Chief's leash and took him to the vet. They knew why we were there. They took us into the room and gave Chief a sedative to help him settle. I really wanted them to give me one. After a while, the vet came in and I sat on the floor feeding treats to Chief. He was a treat hound and would eat them all day long if given the chance. His tail was wagging and he was eating treats. They injected him and after about 20 seconds he ate his last treat and his tail stopped wagging. Just before his eyes closed I whispered "we'll be together again" in his ear. I was devastated. They let me sit with him as long as I wanted. His body was limp, it was clear he was gone.

I got up and went out front and asked to see 99. She was still in critical condition and when I went back to see her, she cried and put her head in my hand. The vet said it was just a waiting game at that point. So I waited. I went home and poor Max didn't know what was up. He had been sequestered in the master bedroom when everything happened. He must have heard all the commotion and then heard me rush out. He could see me leaving with 99 and then with Chief out the bedroom window. Then I came back each time alone. He must have been freaking. He sat on my feet and put his head on my knee as I cried. It was good to have him close.

In the end, 99 survived, although not without a long and difficult recovery. Chief was cremated and I have his ashes on a shelf in the living room. He gets to keep an eye on everything. Max and 99 are good and healthy and loving. They both sleep on the bed with me every night. Last night, I heard a big sigh and looked over. 99 was laying with her head on the pillow stretched out. She looked over at me and licked my nose and then sighed and went back to sleep. Max was curled up at the foot of the bed and rubbed his head on my feet. Things have gotten back to normal now and I'm happy for that. I still miss Chief, though. He loved me so much and made me laugh so much. In the end, though I've learned to live with my decision. I'll always wish it could have been different, but it is done, and life has gone on.

Six months later and I still catch myself looking for Chief every now and then. Somewhere, he's playing and running and happy. I firmly believe that.

Mixed bag of emotions...

2009-09-24T09:55:00.001-07:00

Today, I read that trials of a new HIV vaccine have proven to be quite promising. Some are saying that this is the start of a beginning. Some are suggesting that this promising news will lead us to more discoveries sooner that will see a real, highly successful vaccine to HIV. I'm not sure why, but this news has hit me hard and my emotions are mixed. It appears that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel in the fight against new infections of HIV/AIDS. It looks at there is some hope for the future that others will be able to be vaccinated against this disease. For that hope, I am grateful. I want my niece and nephew to come of age where they don't have to think about contracting HIV, where a vaccination can protect them in the same way it protected me from measles and mumps.

It seems, however, with all this hope, I am overcome by a sense of loss. I don't feel it this way often, but today it is heavy in my heart. I can't help but think of all those who have died, who have fought the often tedious, always hard fight against this disease. I think about Tom, how I loved that man. How he fought. I think about my many other friends who have passed into the next wave of existence. Back in the late 80's and through the 90's really, I lost count of the memorial services, the burials, the scattering of ashes. I think of the friends who got so bad that they saved up the right combination of medications, smoked a joint, and downed them with a bottle of booze to hasten them on their journey. I remember the friends who sat with them as they passed, and who witnessed to keep their memory alive (I sat in that chair more than once).

I wonder what the future brings. When the vaccine has made transmission of HIV a thing of the past, what of those of us who still fight the battle? I've always tried to find meaning in the death of my friends by telling myself that their experience, their participation in clinical trials, their subjecting themselves to all forms of studies and tests were for the future, were for the betterment of humanity in helping to find a way to stop this crazy train. But what happens when the disease is no more because of a vaccine? What meaning do our deaths have then?

What about those of us who are becoming "long term survivors"? The effects of the meds get worse over time. Some of the friends I have now living with HIV/AIDS are dying from the long exposure to medications that would kill a normally healthy person. The liver and kidneys shut down. The heart overworked. The digestive system torn apart. What happens to those in the middle, not saved by the vaccine, but not dead from the disease?

I'm sure in a few hours, I'll be thinking about something else, something that won't make my head and my heart ache. Just for now....I remember and I wonder and I hope.

The joys of the Icejack

2009-09-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

Last night, I settled in with my Icejack by Fleshjack. I really love the Icejack, as you can see through it and watch your hard cock fuck in and out. I chose the Ultratight butthole. The butthole opening is really nice and tight. It feels great as it grips your cock and milks it. The Ultratight sleeve is just what it says, Ultra Tight!! It really feels like you are fucking a nice tight ass. I love to just watch my hard piece fucking in an out. The feelings are amazing and the visual drives me wild.

After a nice solid fucking, I felt the urge in the base of my cock. My cock started to get harder and I could feel the Icejack tighten around it. It wasn't long before I was pounding my cock with Icejack and heading for the brink. Typically, I would spend a long time edging and just enjoying the feeling, but I had things to do, so I just went for it. I had the camera nearby so I shot a short clip of me cumming in the Icejack and the cum dripping out. Good times!!!!

I highly recommend the Icejack. No matter what set up you go with, you will not be disappointed. The nice thing is, you can design your own, choosing what opening and texture you want. Follow the link for a 10% off coupon as well.

A very WET play session

2009-09-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I got to play with my favorite piss pig. This guy is so awesome. I met him at a bookstore and we hit it off. We exchanged numbers after we played, which I never do. Strangely enough, we actually contacted each other and we've played a few times since. When we were first talking about playing, he told me that he wanted to get really wet, and "not kneeling in the tub wet, but on a tarp on the floor, rolling around in it getting covered wet." Needless to say, I was hooked. He said all the right things. I like my watersports wet and nasty, not antiseptic and cold.

To accomplish this, I make a makeshift pool out of a tarp, it is cheap and easy. You take a small tarp (6x8) and fold up the corners and then fold and tape the sides together to make a shallow box using duct tape. I usually make the sides about 6 inches high. Too much higher and they fall in on themselves, too much lower and you risk spills. The whole process takes about 3 minutes and makes for a great piss play pool. The tarp is like $5, can't beat it. At the end of the session, it is easy to pick up by the 4 corners and bring to a suitable place to dump and rinse. Sometimes the simplest, cheapest solutions are the best.

When we get together, I'm full of water. I mean, bloated painfully full. This is a good thing, though, as all that water needs to go somewhere. We piss all over each other many times and then we roll around in it and cover every inch of each other's bodies in it. It is so fucking hot! Yesterday was no different. We met at the hotel. I already had constructed "the pool". When he walked in, we attacked each other and were naked in seconds. Then, I already had to piss, so he jumped into the pool and I stood over him. This time, I had brought the video camera. I turned on the power to the camera, stood over him and let out a long and powerful stream of liquid heaven. I tried to cover every inch of my little pig. He ducked and let it run over his beautiful shaved head and down his back and the perfect crack of his ass. It ran down his chest and his hard abs to his beautiful cock and balls. He slurped up and swallowed a lot of it. We were both panting and getting off on the moment. Then I looked down and realized I had never pushed record on the camera. DOH!! We both had a laugh before I knelt down and laid on top of him as we rolled around in the pool.

We got up and toweled off and moved to the bed. We licked and sucked every inch of one another. I spent a lot of time on his ass. He has the sweetest tasting asshole. It is clean with just the right musk and sweat. He loves it when I slowly work my tongue into his hole. My tongue is strong and insistent and I can feel his hole open up as I push in deeper and deeper. I could eat his ass all day and never be bored. He spent a good deal of time sucking my cock and balls. He knew exactly what he was doing and took to the new jewelry like a champ. Nothing is more of a buzz kill than when a guy asks if you really have to wear your PA jewelry. My little pig never asked and actually was getting off on the size of the jewelry and the new big balls.

It wasn't long before I had to piss again. We made our way back to the pool, but this time, I was sure to turn on the camera. It was so fucking hot. I was pissing for what seemed like forever, and all of a sudden, he yelled "I'm gonna blow". It completely caught me by surprise. He shot a nice load, while I tried to get the camera pointed in that direction. I got most of it on film. The whole scene was probably 90 seconds long, but so very fucking hot. I put the camera down and again joined him wallowing in the pool in my piss mixed with his cum. HEAVEN!!

We proceeded to get up and empty and rinse the pool and shower. Then we laid on the bed and just relaxed for a while. Eventually we got up and got dressed and went on our way. We already were talking about the next time. I love the way this works. He's got a partner, so there are no strings. We just get together every few weeks to play hot and nasty!

Sex in a Can....my first fake pussy

2009-09-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

Last week, Fleshlight came out with a new product. The Sex in a Can is sort of a mini version of the Fleshlight. It is in a plastic can, the size of a Foster's Lager. The principle is the same, tight opening, realistic material, great textures inside. I was intrigued. When Fleshlight posted a 15% off link on Twitter, I decided to give them a try. I order the 3 pack, one of each Sex in a Can model. They arrived yesterday and I was eager to go for a spin to see how they stacked up to the Fleshjacks.

First off, let's clear something up. Yes, I love cock and ass and men men men, but I am not opposed to fucking a nice wet pussy either. I've done it before and will do it again. So, I was not at all put off by the pussy opening on the Lotus Lager Sex in a Can. It was definitely small and tight. The Sex in a Can is significantly smaller than the Fleshlight. I didn't find it too tight, but it was definitely borderline for me, and I'm not blessed with a huge cock. The Lotus texture is supposed to be their most realistic to the real thing. I'm not sure how realistic it was, but it definitely was hot!! I lubed it up and slid in past the tight pussy lips. The opening grabbed my cock and held it tight. I adjusted the back cap on the can for a little less suction and began to pound away on my hard cock. There are chambers inside the sleeve that sort of grab your cock as you pull out. This drove me crazy! I did find that I needed to relube more than I have with the Fleshjacks, but I think it's because the chambers were holding some lube. No worries, I have plenty of fresh lube :-)

I pounded my cock with the can for almost 90 minutes. I was close a bunch of times. In fact, one time, I let just a little cum shoot out and then stopped myself. I took some video and photos and you can see the cum drip out of the can when I pull it off my cock.

After a while, I decided to let it go. If you watch this clip, you'll notice that when I cum, everything shakes. This was not staged. Literally, my whole body was convulsing when I came, the orgasm was so intense. I still like my Fleshjacks better, and will probably invest in a Lotus Fleshlight, as they seem to give my cock more room to breathe, for lack of a better term. But, I can say without a doubt that the Sex in a Can produced a mind blowing orgasm on the first time out, and really what more can you ask for??

September Slutfest - M4BB.com Play Party

2009-09-14T05:29:00.000-07:00

Saturday afternoon/evening was the September edition of the Men4Bareback.com play party. It was a gloomy day in Tampa. It had rained all night on Friday and all through the morning on Saturday. I left the house with my Buffalo Chicken Dip and headed for Apopka (outside of Orlando) for the wet drive to the party. I hate driving I4 in the rain, all the tourists between Tampa and Orlando treat the rain like its snow and drive like crazy people. I was looking forward to the party, as the last one had been awesome. I was also going to see the guy I had met at the last party and had spent the weekend with in Orlando a few weeks ago. John is a sweet guy and lots of fun. We've been talking a lot and there is definitely something there. I was looking forward to fucking him and watching him get fucked at the party.

I met John outside the party and we headed in. Larry and Arnie are such great hosts. Things were all set up again, and we checked in and proceeded to strip naked. One of the things that I like about the M4BB.com parties is that there is a "warm up" period and then every one is expected to get naked. Nothing is more annoying than going to a play party and there are people who sit around fully clothed, not playing and just watching. At these parties, every one knows the drill and pretty much gets naked right after they walk in. I went with Larry to heat up the chicken dip and lost track of John. I love the M4BB.com parties cuz they are just the right mix of social and sex. Out in the kitchen, everyone is chatting and snacking on the various goodies people brought. Just around the corner in the bedrooms, people are playing on the bed, or in the sling. Outside at the pool, people might be sitting in the hot tub, or sucking cock in a lounge chair.

I chatted with Arnie for a while about porn and web stuff, and then went to the back of the house to find John was already going at it heavy with some guy with a beautiful cock. I joined in for a few minutes and then drifted to another room. I found some guys there to play with. There was a hot latin guy there. He was young, mid 20's, and hot as hell. I played with him for a while and had a lot of fun. I fucked a few guys and dropped my load in them. I love being a top, especially at these parties, as there seem to be more people catching than pitching, so I never have a problem finding a place to shove my hard cock.

I had new jewelry in my PA. I was wearing a curved barbell, and it was perfect. It allowed me to fuck without having to remove the 2ga jewelry. It felt incredible, and I'm told the bottoms liked it too :-) After a while, I ended up in the master bedroom where there was a group of 5 or 6 guys going at it. They were all hot guys and looked to be having lots of fun. Arnie was there and I've wanted to play with Arnie since the last party when I didn't get to. So we started to play and I bent him over the bed and fucked him hard and fast. It was so hot, Arnie is such a hot guy and has a beautiful body. His ass is really nice and tight and quite talented. He milked my hard cock until I shot a load deep in his ass. I slipped out after a few minutes and he turned and sucked every last drop from my very appreciative cock.

At some point I found John again and we fucked. The latin guy was across the room and we locked eyes a few times. I really wanted to fuck his ass, but never got the chance...oh well, next time. These parties are so much fun. There is literally NO attitude, which is really unusual for a gathering of a bunch of gay men. Everyone has lots of sex and the groups form and change organically. If you come to one of the parties and don't leave satisfied, well, you're not doing something right.

We watched some more porn on the big screen in the living room, and chatted. The party is, as I mentioned, very organic. People drift from area to area, playing or snacking or watching porn, sitting by or in the pool/hot tub. Someone on twitter said they were surprised there would be food. These parties are long, sometimes 9 hours or more. You need to recharge your battery with all that sex.

When I left the party, I was drained, literally. The drive home was also in the rain. I was so glad to finally be home. When I dropped into bed, I was out within a few minutes, and dreamed of all the hot men I'd played with. Can't wait for the next party in October!!

Note to a friend

2009-09-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

A friend asked me to share with him my "story" the other day. I guess our lives are one long story with characters and plot twists and beautiful and tragic themes. I wrote this note to him, and thought I'd share it here.

You asked for it, here it is....

My maternal grandparents were both alcoholics. My parents are not. I, apparently, got the gene for addiction. When I was in my teens and 20's I'd go pretty crazy in college but just chalked it up to college days, nothing more. When I graduated, I stopped drinking as a means of losing weight and I lost a lot of weight,. After college, I moved to FL and still didn't really drink, although I'd have a beer every now and then.

I met Tom, while I was living in Tampa and waiting tables at a restaurant out at the beach. Tom was everything that I wanted in a man. He was 38, I was 25. We hit it off right away. He was in FL on vacation from San Francisco to visit his family. Tom asked me if I would come to visit him in SF. I told him, maybe some day I could afford it. He told me he would pay for my ticket and food lodging while I came to visit him. It was like a dream come true. A few months later, I flew to SF and spent 10 days with Tom. It was awesome. I really felt like Cinderella and that I was just in one big fairytale (yeah yeah, I know all the puns). I cried the night before I left as Tom held me in bed. I knew I'd probably never see him again and then he said it "Come and live with me." I couldn't believe what I heard and I had to ask him to repeat. "Come and live with me, you can move out here and find a job. You'll have a place to live." I was shocked but every part of me wanted to move to SF. 3 moths later, I got on the plane for SF to move there.

The first 6 months or so were pretty great. I found a job, made friends, and settled into life in SF. Tom and I had an open relationship and we each played on the side. After a while, I lost my job downtown and found a job working on the opening of a new bar on Castro Street, Daddies. Up to that time, I wasn't really drinking but was smoking pot regularly. One night, I met a guy who offered me some meth, and I tried it. I was a mess. I did WAY too much too fast and the next day was tweaked out of my mind. My friends just laughed and said to be careful. I was afraid to do it again after that for a few months, but then one night another guy offered it to me, and I tried again, not quite as piggy this time. I was hooked. BIG TIME!! From then on, I was pretty much high on meth or coming down all the time. I'd stay up for days at a time and then completely sleep through my days off. I mean, I would sleep 48 hours straight without moving. Pretty scary. By that time, I had got my own place. Tom and I were still close, but I wanted to spread my wings.

Then Tom died.

Tom died of complications from AIDS in June of 1996. My world fell apart. I went on huge binges where I did meth, and heroin, and ecstasy, and pot and booze, and crack and coke (not the same thing as some would lead you to believe). I didn't care who fucked me, who I had sex with, where I had sex, what I ate, where I slept, nothing. Somehow I managed to keep my job managing the bar, probably because the owner was a huge alcoholic and had his own shit to deal with, so I was able to maintain and slide under the radar. I just kept getting worse and worse. I spent every cent I had on drugs, had huge drug orgies at my apartment. People would steal my shit, I never noticed. People would steal my money, I never cared. It was all a huge mess. I used to sit up all night, waiting for the "men" to come and get me. I was so paranoid, I would see people everywhere that weren't there. I would hallucinate that there were bugs crawling out of my arms and try to pick them out,. I still have scars in my tattoos where I picked and picked at nothing for weeks. I'm not sure if I even showered during that period. I seem to recall that I did some times, but I'm not 100% sure. I stole drugs from friends, I stole money from friends, I stole food from friends (food that I couldn't even eat).

The close friends that I had when I first moved to SF were all but gone. They gave up on me a few years earlier and who could blame them....I had already given up on myself. My life had become just one big drug induced sex party. At some point in all of this, I sero-converted. All of the time with Tom, and I had remained NEG and then after Tom I didn't care and becoming POZ was just another easy slip down the ladder.

I remember when I hit bottom. I was mugged and someone got my Visa check card and used it to wipe out my account. I had no idea for a while, but when I found out I called my mother. I had nothing. No money, no friends, no Tom, I had quit my job. My mother said, "maybe it's time you come home" and I cried like a baby. The next day she sent me a one way plane ticket to FL where she and my father were living. I packed up what I could of my 5 years in SF. I shipped boxes with my stuff back with money my mom sent with the plane ticket. I abandoned most my my stuff in SF. The one friend that I had left had been in recovery for many years. He knew my deal although I never told him. He agreed that it was time for me to get out of SF before I died. He took me to the airport.

I did my last few lines of meth in the airport bathroom at SF Intl Airport. It was Christmas Eve 1997. My plane got delayed in St. Paul and I sat in the airport bar getting drunk to try to overcome the fact that the meth was wearing thin and I needed a bump I wasn't gonna get. I was wasted on the plane from St. Paul to Ft. Myers. It was Christmas Day 1997. Happy Birthday Jesus......

The next few weeks at my parents' house are a blur to me even to this day. I detoxed in their back bedroom. I told them I had the flu. I mostly slept and vomited and didn't eat. After a few weeks I crawled out of the dark and decided to get it together. I so wanted to be back in SF. I hated FL and did not want to be here. But, life is what it is and I found a way. I picked myself up and applied for a bunch of IT jobs. I got an interview and a job working in Tampa. The week after I started, I moved into my own apartment. Since then, I've moved into a larger apartment, adopted my dogs, bought a house, obtained my Master's degree, and many other accomplishments that I'm proud of.

I never got involved in a "program", It was just never for me. I do believe that the universe holds great things for me. I also believe that in the end, I can never touch drugs or booze again. I still have drug dreams, and still get the shakes when I talk about it, but I'm here over 11 years clean and sober. It will be 12 years on Christmas. I think for most people, "the program" is probably the best thing there is. I don't even know how to describe what I've done and how I've gotten to this place. I do take it one day at a time. I no longer let the small stuff fuck with my head. I'm not really sure how much time I've got left. I've been POZ for 13 years, but know many who have lived much longer. I also know plenty who have not lived half as long as I have. Who knows? I sure don't. But here is the thing. I've been given the greatest gift. To live on this planet and be a part of this wild world. I've loved, I've lost, I've made huge huge mistakes. I could die today and I go with no regrets. I try to live my life so that I can say that every day. I've told my family and friends that no matter when my time comes, I am happy, I love life, and I love that I've been given the opportunity to live it. By the way, I have no answers. Mostly questions. I think in the end, we all need to find the answers on our own.

So that's my story. You're probably sorry you asked. Here's the thing, my friend. You're not the first one to make this journey, but you are the first to make "your" journey. If you need a little help reading the signposts, let me know. I can't make any promises, but I can try :-)

Don

Fleshjack/Fleshlight Party = Success, sort of

2009-09-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Well, the Fleshjack/Fleshlight party was a success, but it was a lot of work and hassle to get there. I started a few days before the party with postings on Craigslist to announce the party.

Fleshlight/Fleshjack Party

I've got a room at a hotel in XXX booked for Sunday night. Going to bring my Fleshjacks/Fleshlights and am looking to get a group of guys together who want to j/o with their Fleshlights/jacks. If you don't know what a Flesklight/jack is, go to fleshlight dot com or fleshjack dot com and check them out. Most amazing experience you will have with your cock. I have like 6 of them, so I will have some to share. If you have one, please bring it.

Send your stats and a pic and I will add you to the list. Also, let me know if you have a fleshy or need to borrow one. Right now there are more guys than Fleshy's, but if you don't mind jerking off while you wait to try one, no problem.

This is open to str8, bi and gay guys. All ages, colors and types. The only requirement is that you must get naked and you must participate (jerk off, use a fleshlight, or whatever else comes up)

You'd think that was pretty clear, but apparently people don't know how to read these days. I got a bunch of emails with just "count me in" nothing more. I'd reply with a request for stats/pic and get nothing. Then some guys would send me their stats/pic and then play 20 questions with me, each in a different email. Who is going to be there? How many are coming? What are their ages? What do they look like? Do they have big dicks? Will there be str8 guys? The list goes on and on and on and on. I must have replied to well over 200 emails. The reason I asked for stats and a pic was so that I could put names with faces when they arrived. I really hate pic collectors, you know the guys who want to trade pics but never want to hook up in th end. Well, in the end, I had a list of about 30 people who said they wanted to come. On the day of the party, I emailed out complete details, the location of the party, some basic guidelines (guests welcome from 7-8pm, doors close at 8pm for play. once doors close you need to get naked or excuse yourself). I asked the 30 to confirm and got about 10 confirmations. Of those 8 showed up. Let me tell you, it was way too much work for the return.

I really think the internet has been a mixed blessing when it comes to hook ups. In the old days, I had to go cruise someplace to find cock, or sit in a bar...ugh. Then came the sex phone lines. I liked those. I'd never set anything up until I got someones actual number. Far fewer people had cell phones then, so if you got their number, it was likely really their home number. My success rate was pretty high when I got someones number and called them back before I'd meet them. Now, with the internet, it is all so anonymous that people will say they are coming and never show, and never worry about it. Even if you have their email, it is probably a junk email they use for hooking up. The more anonymous, the more responses you have to go through before one is actually a real person. So, on the one hand, it's easier cuz you don't have to leave the house to find a playmate, on the other it's more work.

Anyhow, I got the room ready and had the Fleshlight/jacks all warming in a tub of hot water. The first few guys arrived and settled in. They knew the deal and stripped off their shorts in no time. One guy had a huge cock, at least 8.5 inches and thick. The other guy was pretty modest, but he got into it. I asked if they wanted to try the Fleshy's and the one with the huge cock said sure. The other wanted to wait a bit as he had a short fuse and didn't want to cum too fast. He was smart!! A few other guys trickled in. The guy with the huge cock was raping my Vortex Icejack, and you could see his beautiful cock thrusting in and out. I was concerned he my break it (the Fleshjack, not his cock, not really but it was HUGE). The next few guys to arrive stripped quickly and each had a Fleshy on their cock in no time. The guys started swapping them around to try all the different openings and textures. A few more guys arrived and we were up to 7 now. When the guys didn't have a Fleshjack attached to their cock, I or one of the other guys was sucking their cocks. They all had nice cocks of varying shapes and sizes. The biggest problem was that they liked the Fleshjacks so much. Most of the guys came within a few minutes of using them. I wanted everyone to get settled in and stroke with them like I do for a few hours. I had my camera and was gonna take some photos, but the guys came so quickly and then got dressed and left. Nobody stayed around for a second go. Personally, when I go to a play party, I'll shoot three or four loads over the course of the party. I don't like to leave on the first shoot.

After a few guys had left, another arrived. He was a 19 year old African American kid with the most beautiful 8" uncut cock I've seen in ages. I got him comfortable and shoved a fleshjack down on his hard cock. I think he stroked like three times before the look on his face told me he shot. He pulled off the Fleshjack and a huge load ran out all over his cock. I swooped down and licked it all up and sucked his beautiful cock for a while before he motioned he was ready to leave. A few other guys finished off and were also ready to leave. The last guy joined me on the bed and I sucked his cock as he took breaks from the SpeedBump Icejack he had in his hand. After a few minutes, he came as well. Doors opened at 7pm, last guy was done and out by 8:30....fastest party I've ever had, and Ive had a lot of parties. The good news is that some of the guys wanted to buy Fleshjacks after the party. Hopefully, I've created a few converts :-)

Another day, another Fleshjack :-)

2009-09-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

Just got my latest UPS order and with it my 3 for 2 Fleshjack deal. Buy 2 Fleshjack sleeves, get 1 free. The sleeve I wanted to try the most is in this order, the Super Ribbed. I love texture, and so I can't wait to give this one a try. Over the weekend, I think I'm gonna try to put together a Fleshjack party. This will be a small one, maybe just 3 or 4 guys, working on our cocks with the Fleshjacks. If I can make it happen, I'll try to get a few photos. The only sleeves left that I want to get are the Endurance Jack and the Lotus and Twista. I'm going to have to switch over to the Fleshlights for the Lotus and the Twista and get some with girlie parts. I don't mind, I like to fuck all kinds of holes, so it's all good for me.

The damn Fleshjack is killing me.....

2009-09-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

OK, not really. But, I've got to say that I'm enthralled with the Fleshjack. I wrote previously about my first experience with one. I recently tried a few of the other insert textures and have to say, it's hard to pick a favorite. The other night I tried the Speedbump. It was definitely intense. I think part of the reason is that I had my PA jewelry in, so the top of the head of my cock was pressed against the speedbumps more. This created a sensation that was close to pain, but not quite there. For some it may have been too intense, for me, it was AWESOME!! As I mentioned before, I can edge with these things for a long time. I really like that. I can also pump them just right to get off pretty much as fast as I want to. I've already ordered 3 more, so I will have a total of 7 as of tomorrow. Damn, Fleshjack, why do you feel so good??

Last night, I spent 3 hours with the UltraTight. From the discussions on the Fleshlight forums, it seems that the UltraTight is not a crowd favorite. Personally, it is one of my favorites by far. I'm a firm grip kind of guy when I jerk off. So, the UltraTight really feels good with it's tight grip on my cock. It feels like fucking a really nice tight ass. I played with the Fleshjack for about 3 hours, as I mentioned, and it was awesome. I did need to apply lube pretty frequently as this particular texture seems to eat it up, but that was no problem. I love to change the stroke length and speed, and twist the FJ as I stroke. When I start to feel close, I just slow down and can ride the edge forever. My cock was screaming to be set free by the time I was done, and when I finally released, I actually shot all the way through and out the other end (I had taken the end cap off to drip in some lube).

Tomorrow, the SuperRibbed is coming via UPS. I can't wait to try that one. There are some textures that can only be had with the FleshLight Girls, I want to try those too, and since I don't mind sticking my cock in a pussy, I won't mind having a few Fleshlights with pussy lips.

The guys over at Men4Bareback.com are talking about putting together a Fleshlight/Fleshjack party. We will all bring our units and we can try them all out. Sort of like a Tupperware party for Fleshlight/Fleshjacks. It's kind of funny, if you read the forums on the Fleshlight site, there are a lot of straight guys who talk about how they love to use their Fleshlight, but then if someone asks about a group getting together, they are all shy about it. Gay and Bi guys on the other hand, are all about it. I'm sure once the party gets set up it will end up being awesome. I think we're gonna play with the Fleshy's and then we'll all just fuck. Will be hot if some guys are using the Fleshjacks while they are getting fucked. Anyhow, I'm stoked for that party. The guys from Men4Bareback are in NOLA for Southern Decadance, but are gonna schedule the party when they get back. By the way, if you have not been over to Men4Bareback.com, you really should check it out. The site has great features and doesn't limit your functionality like other sites do unless you cough up money. I also find that I've met the most "real" people on that site than I have on any other. The bareback parties that they host each month are truly awesome!!

Flesh as in Jack and Light

2009-09-01T08:40:00.001-07:00

Recently, I've discovered the joys of the Fleshjack/Fleshlight. If you are not familiar with the Fleshjack or the Fleshlight, then you owe it to yourself...and your hard cock....to check them out. The Fleshlight is marketed for straight guys while the Fleshjack is marketed for gay guys. They are pretty much the same thing, aside from the openings available.

What exactly are they? Well they are masturbation toys for men. In my many years of sexual awareness, I've tried just about everything out there. I've tried blow up dolls and rubber butts and "masturbation sleeves" and cheap porn store pumps. None of them really did much for my cock. In fact some of them didn't even allow me to keep a good solid hard on. I have heard about the Fleshlight/jack off an on for a while now. I checked out the websites, watched numerous videos on X-tube (just search on Fleshlight or Fleshjack and you will find literally hours of clips of guys working their cocks with them), asked about them on Twitter, googled them, etc. As they are not cheap $5 items, I wanted to see if they really lived up to the hype. I checked out the forums on the Fleshlight web site and it seemed that there were hordes of satisfied customers.

I wasn't really convinced, however. I've fallen for the latest and greatest toy to bring you ultimate pleasure before and mostly have been disappointed. My friends Arnie and Larry who run Men4Bareback.com have an ad for Fleshjack on their site. I know how these things work and that they get a kickback if I order from that link, so I asked Arnie if he liked his Fleshjack. He gave it a good review, and I as know that Arnie and Larry are as piggy as I am, I trusted his opinion and used the link from his site to order my first Fleshjack Ice or "Icejack".

The Fleshlights/jacks (FL/FJ) come in a variety of openings and textures and also two different colors. The original or pink simulates pink flesh. It is considerably "pinker" than most flesh I've seen, but it gets the idea across. The ice material is clear. The material is a "special polymer" that isn't latex and isn't silicone. Not sure what it is, but it is stretchy and soft. The Fleshjack openings include a little mini butt (Jackass), an actual butthole, a set of lips, and what they call "closet" which is just a slit that looks like a coin slot. This is apparently for those in the closet whose wife or kids would be mortified if they found their gay sex toy with a mouth or ass on it. The internal textures offer a wide variety. There is everything from Original which is a smooth tube, to Super ribbed, Speed bumps, and Vortex, which is well, it is awesome is what it fucking is!!!!

Let's face it, if you've read my blog, you know that I do all kinds of crazy things to my cock. I pierce it, I electrocute it, I pump it, I shove steel rods and rubber worms down it. My cock is pretty open to new sensations and experiments. After reading the forums, it seemed that the Vortex texture was pretty intense, and so I decided to go with that. Many people were cautioned not to start with the Vortex as it might be too much for some people, but I know my cock could handle intense. I ordered a clear sleeve with clear case, so I could watch my cock work it's way in and out of the Vortex. Ordering was easy and the "Icejack" arrived in two days, as I had ordered 2 Day UPS.

I took my new toy home and filled the sink with hot water. It is recommended that you soak the sleeve in warm/hot water to enhance the experience. I did so, and picked out my favorite porn (Pigs at the Troff) and got out my water based lube. I really am not a fan of water based lube. I prefer silicone based first and oil based second with water based last. But, the FL/FJ should only be used with water based lube, so I complied. I had a bottle of generic Astroglide from CVS that I don't mind, so I dropped the bottle in the sink of hot water to warm it up. After a few water changes, I put the sleeve into its clear case and squirted some lube inside the Jackass, then on my cock. I got good and hard and slid my cock inside. I was fully expecting that I was going to be disappointed and that the FJ was gonna end up in the chest of misfit toys. I mean seriously, how was this gonna feel as good as everyone said it would?

So, I slid in and started working the FJ up and down my hard cock. It actually didn't feel too bad. I mean, it wasn't a blow job or an ass, but it was warm and wet and my cock seemed to like it......for the first few minutes.....then my cock LOVED it!! Apparently, the Vortex has ribs in a swirl inside. They make your cock fell all kinds of good. I started to work the FJ faster up and down my cock, and then when I started to feel close, I backed off. I found that I was able to edge a lot easier with the FJ than with my hand. With my hand the temptation to get too close was easy to fall into, and just a flick of a finger could put me over the edge. With the FJ, I was able to stay close but not too close for a long long time. In fact, it was the best edging I'd ever had.

The Vortex texture was doing all kinds of crazy things to my cock. I could tell I was dripping as I pumped the FJ up and down. I worked it around and side to side too. It was blowing my mind. After a while I decided to call it a session and head for the finish line. I can honestly say in all my life I never came like that. I didn't pull out when I came, instead I kept stroking my throbbing cock with the FJ. The texture of the Vortex did some wild things to my cock. I found myself making the craziest noises as I came. I mean, this was totally involuntary, and I was hollering and whimpering. It was nuts! After I came, I couldn't move the FJ on my cock, the sensations were so intense. I just sat there, kind of stunned and amazed that this thing was as good as people said it was.

I finally pulled out my cock and as I did, my load mixed with the lube poured out all over my cock and balls and belly. It was so warm and wet, it was awesome. After a while I managed to get up and head into the bathroom to clean up, me and the FJ. Cleaning the FJ was easy. I just ran cold water through it first and all the cum congealed and came out, then hot water to wash away all the lube. I let it dry per the instructions and then coated it with cornstarch to keep it soft and smooth.

The next day I went online and ordered three more, as they have a Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale. I got the Speed Bump, the Wonder Wave and the Ultra Tight. I've used the Wonder Wave and the Ultra Tight and they are both awesome. In each one I had crazy sessions and wild orgasms. They are each different and unique. So far, I think Vortex is my favorite, but I'm not disappointed in the others. Tonight, I think I'm gonna try Speed Bump and see what that does to me. If it is like the others, I'll be howling like a wild monkey by the time I cum. At this point, my hand has taken a back seat to my FJ. I'm gonna try to get some pics or maybe even video with the FJ tonight. Keeping my fingers crossed.

If you've thought about getting one of these, I highly recommend them. I really thought it would be a lot of hype, and boy am I glad I was wrong.

Weekend of Pig Sex or My God I'm Wiped Out

2009-08-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

The weekend fun was supposed to start with a play party on Saturday night. I was all excited as it was gonna be a big one, with lots of hot guys. I was so excited that I decided I needed some quality time at the bookstore to take the edge off :-) I tweeted that I was off to the bookstore, and some observant follower asked if there was a reading or if I was just browsing. I laughed and replied that there are actually no books at the bookstore, only booths and glory holes. I was there for a short time before a guy walked into the "Alternative" theater. I love that they call it "Alternative" like that makes it any less gay. Personally, I prefer the straight theaters, but if there is a hot guy in the "alternative" then I'll swallow my boredom with the gay porn they show in there and head on in.

Anyhow, I digress. This guy walked in and he was just amazing. Just a t-shirt and jeans guy, but I could see some ink peeking out from under his sleeve, and he had buzzed blond hair, yumm!! I followed him in, but he didn't stay long, so I just watched him go and then sat down. I stroked my cock for a while and a few different guys came over to service me. That went on for about an hour and then my blond guy came back in. He watched me stroke my cock and came over and sat right next to me, just watching. After a few minutes, he reached out and grabbed my dick and started working it. He was doing a good job and it was clear he knew how to handle a PA. He stroked for a while and then unzipped his jeans and pulled out a HUGE piece. It had to be 8.5 inches and although it was not beer can thick (I know because I could get my mouth around it), it was pretty close.

One of the other guys saw that and came rushing over from across the room to join in. We took turns sucking hot guy off, and I would stand up and work his nipples when it wasn't my turn. He had amazing ink. There was one piece on his lightly hairy belly around his navel that drove me nuts. It was my turn sucking when hot guy said he was gonna cum. I was stoked and was planning on sharing with joiner. But joiner knocked me out of the way and clamped onto that cock like a leech. He was sucking up the whole load. Then he did the unthinkable and inexcusable, he spit the HUGE load out on the floor. I mean we are talking lots and lots of cum, all spit out on the floor. I didn't miss a beat. I looked up at the hot guy and said, "Fuck that, not gonna waste it" and then I got down and licked his whole load off the floor. (I know some of you have just tuned out, but oh well, I'm a pig). The hot guy was like "holy shit dude, that's fucking hot". He then proceeded to stand me up and give me one hell of a blow job. All in all it was a great night at the bookstore.

Saturday, I headed over to the M4BB.com play party in Apopka. I had somehow got the address wrong in my navigation system and ended up at a house with chickens in the road and wild dogs with no collars roaming around. A quick call to the party got me going in the right direction. The party was awesome. Larry and Arnie have a beautiful home and had it set up perfectly for a play party. There were rooms with beds, a room with a sling and porn, the pool and hot tub, and lots of great snacks in the kitchen. There were a lot of guys there, I'd guess around 30+. There was a good mix of tops, bottoms and truly versatile guys (yeah, believe it or not, the versatile guys actually were versatile, I was amazed). I got to fuck as much ass as I could handle and there was always a mouth or hand on my cock when I needed it. A few times, I'd dump a load in an ass and then eat it out and feed it to the guy with my mouth. Very hot! I had been talking to one of the guys who was attending the party all week via email. We were both looking forward to meeting each other and playing. I was not disappointed. He was as hot as I had hoped, and was so much fun. He kissed like a wild man who could not get enough, and his ass was soooo sweet. My cock felt at home in his ass and in his mouth. I had to resist the urge to grab him and lock him away in one of the rooms, but it was a play party and that is sort of antisocial at a play party. There will be time for 1 on 1 in the future, I'm sure! After about 5 hours of play, I was spent and decided to head out and face the 90 minute drive home. I'll be back next month for sure!!

Sunday was a day I had been looking forward to all week. The week before, I had met this incredibly hot triathlete at the bookstore. We hit is off right away and exchanged numbers and stuff. Typically, I don't expect to ever hear from anyone, but we ended up talking a lot and set up a play date for Sunday. He told me he wanted to get into some watersports with me, and not just in the bathtub quickies, but on a tarp on the floor rolling around and getting soaked in it kind of time. Who was I to say No?? I got us a hotel room and a few large packs of bottled water. I got a tarp and some duct tape. I got to the hotel ahead of time to chill the water and set up the tarp. I folded the tarp into a box shape so that there were 4 sides, and then reinforced with duct tape. It was like a little 6x8 foot kiddie pool. Very nice. My buddy showed up and we ate cock and ass and drank lots of water. I was the first one to piss. He was on his knees and was sucking it up, getting it all over his chest and I sprayed his cock hard. He laid back and let me spray his asshole. He was loving it and so was I.

We got back up on the bed after drying off and played some more and then he had to piss. So I got down and drank from his hose and then got covered with his piss. He jumped down on top of me and we rolled around in it, and we sucked each other's cocks and ate each other's holes. Then I stood up and took my turn pissing on him again. He was crazed wanting it all, every last drop. Again, back to the bed for more play. He was so close to cumming and I had to keep stopping. Eventually, we both needed to piss again, so back into the "pool" which by now had about a half inch filling it. We pissed all over each other at the same time and then dropped onto the floor and rolled around like the two pigs that we are. After a while, we dried off again and it was back to the bed. He warned me he was close again and I took him all the way. Filling my mouth with his load and then feeding it to him as we kissed. We laid there and relaxed for a while and he worked on me some more. I was so tired from the full weekend, that I didn't cum and I didn't care. It was awesome!! He told me that he hadn't had sex for that long in many years and hadn't done any piss play like that for over 2 years. He was happy and so was I.

We cleaned up and headed to Mellow Mushroom for some awesome pizza. We're already figuring out when out next pig session is gonna be. The sooner the better for me!!

I got home and fed the dogs, folded some laundry and then hit the sack. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow, dreaming nasty dreams!!

Sounding the depths, how to's for a newbie

2009-08-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

Let me start this one off by saying that I am in no way a professional. I'm not a medical professional and certainly not qualified to give any advice. The information that I'm about to share has been handed down to me over the past almost 20 years, and works for me. If you try any of the things described here, you do so at your own risk, and I am not responsible if you hurt yourself in any way....YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

OK, one guy I know asked me if I could tell him how to sound. I told him that it was really easier to show him how, but he live many states away, so I told him I would write something up. The truth is, you should find someone in your area that you trust to expose you to sounding. Done correctly, it is safe an EXTREMELY pleasurable. Done incorrectly, it can fuck up your shit.

First, you are gonna need sounds. Don't watch X-tube and be like the guy sticking a ball point pen down his cock, or the guy shoving rubber fishing lures down there (oh wait, i do that, but I've been doing this for many years). Get yourself a decent set of sounds. I really think you should start off with a set, and not a single sound. The whole idea of sounding is that you stretch the urethra by using larger and larger sounds. If you only have one a) you can't progress, and b) you might not have the right size to start with. The best place I have found to buy sounds online is MedicalToys.com. They are by no means the only site, but they do have some unique ones and their prices are the best. I really think you need to start with straight sounds. There are straight and curved. The curved typically will go in deeper, but also require a lot more skill. You can also fuck yourself up a lot more with the curved if you don't know what you are doing. My favorite beginner set is the Bakes or RoseBud Sounds. These are a little stainless steel bud at the end of a long thin stainless steel rod. These tend to insert a lot easier than anything else, and the sensation once they are in is amazing. The other set that is good for beginners is the Dittel Sound Set. These are heavier than the Rose Buds and feel more substantial on insertion.

There are other things that you'll need. Clean towels, lots of them. I like to get the cheap hand towels at WalMart and use them. The ones you can get 10 for $5. You will also need KY jelly. Pros will insist that you use Sterile KY, which you can order in boxes of individual packets from a regular medical supply place. DO NOT order them from a fetish place, you will get ripped off. Personally, I just use regular KY. It does increase the risk of a UTI, but to be honest, I've never had a UTI as a result of sounding. You will also want a small plastic oral syringe. Again, do not buy these online. You can go into any Walgreen's or CVS and ask for them at the pharmacy. They will give them to you for free. Typically I tell them I need to give my dogs some medicine and they give me as many as I want. A few alcohol wipes are also good to have.

Another note here. You want stuff to be clean. Again, some will tell you that you need to autoclave your sounds. I don't know too many people who have access to an autoclave, so I'll tell you what I do. I clean them with antibacterial soap and hot water. Then I put them in a big pot of boiling water and boil them for 15 minutes or so. I think wrap them in one of the clean towels and leave them that way until the next session. You can also put them in a pressure cooker for 15 minutes, but I don't have one. I typically throw the syringes in the boiling water also but not for as long, or they will melt.

Once you have everything you need, you need to set it up. I typically sound in my big recliner with everything arranged on a table next to be. You can also do this on the bed. The key here is you want to be comfortable and as close to reclining as possible. When you get advanced, you can do standing insertions, but let's wait on that for now.

OK, now let's talk for a minute about the head space you need for sounding. Sounding is NOT for everyone. A lot of people's first reaction is that it must be about pain, it is most definitely NOT. If anything ever hurts at all, you should stop immediately. Sounding is also not really about moving around a lot and changing positions. If you sound with someone else, you are pretty much sitting or lying next to each other, sounding, you are not crawling over each other, etc. I will say that I've had some amazing blow jobs with a sound in my cock, but again, this is not for the beginner. For now, find a quiet place and time to settle down with your toys and get into the experience mentally.

Once you have everything ready to go, you'll need to set up your lubrication station. First, lay down a clean towel. Pull the plunger off your syringe and fill it with KY. Then put the plunger back on. When you do, typically a little lube will squirt out, squirt this onto a corner of the towel that will be closer to you and then squirt from the tube of KY, squirt some more on the towel. This will be where you dip the sounds before insertion. Arrange the sounds on the towel. You don't want to be fumbling around trying to get them out of the case in the middle of your session. You won't need all of them. In fact for your first session, you might only need one or two. It is really going to depend on the size of your urethra. Some guys with a bigger tube can start with a bigger size. I suggest you start with a the smallest and the second to smallest in your first session. Once you have an idea of how they go in, you can start with a larger size if it fits OK. You can see now why buying just one sound to start off with can be a bad idea. If you get the wrong size, you might not even be able to use it.

OK, so now get comfortable and clean the tip of your cock with an alcohol wipe and then squirt a little of the KY onto your cock head at your piss slit. Then take the head of your cock and hold it as you press the syringe into your urethra and squirt in the lube. You want to hold the head gently so that the KY can squirt down your urethra. Once you've got about 1/3 or more in there, massage it down your cock. You want to press it down as deep as you can into your urethra. If you want to put anther squirt in there, got for it. You will probably feel a little pressure as you squirt in the lube. This is natural, and very temporary.

Once things are all lubed up, take your first sound by the handle and dip it into the puddle of lube on the towel that you set up earlier. The goal is to coat the first few inches of the sound. Oh fuck, can you believe you are doing this shit, you must be fucking nuts!!! Now, you're going to want to slide the sound in slowly to your cock. Here is the most important thing to remember...DO NOT PUSH IT!!!! Let gravity do the work here. This is why reclining is a good starting position. Your job is just to guide the sound and keep it steady. Your urethra runs down the length of your cock, but some people don't realize that after the head, it sort of runs along the bottom. So once the sound gets in past your head, it is going to need to be adjusted a little so it points toward the bottom edge of your cock. This will allow it to navigate down the length of your cock. This is typically where most people will feel the twinge. It isn't painful, but sort of a little pressure and a feeling you need to pee. This is normal and once you get past this point, the feeling goes away. If you are soft at this point, no worries, just stretch your cock out holding it by the head and let the sound slide on it. If you are like me and get hard at just the thought of this process, things might go a little slower, as your erection might be making it tighter for the sound to move down. Have not fear, gravity always wins and the sound will eventually make it to the base of your cock. Just let it rest there and relax. Enjoy the feeling of the sound stuffing your cock.

Depending on the size of your cock, the sound will come to rest at the base of your urethra and the sound will be buried either partially or fully. At this point, I like to slowly squeeze my cock and feel the sound inside. If I'm soft, i will work the head up and down the length of the sound, enjoying the sensations at my urethra rubs against the sound. Once you are comfortable, you can slowly slide the sound partway out of your cock and then let it drop back in. This will feel like your cock is being fucked from the inside out. Take it very slow, and enjoy the sensations. If your cock gets hard, you can stroke it, just be sure to take it easy and slowly. I've seen a number of guys get so turned on that they were pounding on their cock, while the poor sound inside was banging against the urethra. Afterwords they wondered why they hurt. Don't get carried away at first, take it slow and easy. If you are comfortable with the sound that is in, after some time, you can slowly remove it and try the next size up. Sometimes, this will slide right in, other times it will be too big and you will have to drop back down to the last size. Some sessions, I will sound for hours and go up six or more sizes over the course of the session.

After all this play, there will come a time when you have to make a decision. Will you cum with the sound in or pull it out first. For beginners, I recommend that you pull it out before you cum. The contraction of muscles at the base of your cock with a steel rod in there can cause issues if you don't know what you are doing and how to handle it. This is normally more of an issue with curved sounds, than straight, but for your first time, I'd take it out. After you have some experience you can try leaving it in. I personally prefer to make the removal of the sound part of the orgasm experience. Once I know I'm close and ready to shoot, I will slowly remove the rod. As I focus on the feelings, my cock will typically start to pulse in response and I'll cum just as the sound leaves the tip of my cock. It makes for an intense orgasm for sure.

So, there you have it. Simple right? Actually, it isn't hard at all, but again, isn't for everyone. You have to have some self control and patience, and be willing to expand your horizons. After years of sounding, I moved on to catheters, rubber fishing worms, etc. But it all started with a Rose Bud sound set, that I still use to this day.

As I said at the beginning, I am NOT AN EXPERT. If you try this, you do it at your own peril. If you do it, I hope you love it as much as I do!!

You gotta feel it...It's Electric!!

2009-08-06T05:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I got some new electrodes for my e-stim setup and was very excited to take them home and try them. One was a Small Torpedo bipolar butt plug and the others were a set of conductive rubber Chokers. Both of these were ordered from HappyStim USA. I've got a number of electrodes already but I wanted to try the conductive rubber tubing, as I'd heard good things about it. I also have wanted a bipolar butt plug for a while now. Here's the low down.

E-stim units work by basically sending controlled current through your body specific wave forms. The current stimulates the nerves under the skin, which in turn stimulate the muscles. E-stim can be immensely pleasurable or extremely painful, depending on the level of the current applied, the wave forms, the frequency, etc. I've been doing this for about 14 years and so I've experienced the gamut of possibilities.

It all started when I lived in San Francisco. I had heard a lot about e-stim and wanted to check it out. At that time, TENS units were going for about $200 at places like Mr. S. Back then, there weren't hundreds of online medical supply places selling them for $69. I took the MUNI downtown and then walked down South of Market to Folsom St and Mr. S. The guys knew me, as I managed one of the more popular leather bars in town and sent them a lot of business. I told them I was thinking of e-stim, but wanted to try before I bought. One of the guys took me into the dressing room, hooked a sticky pad to the head of my cock and one to my taint. He turned on the TENS and started applying a little more current. My very soft and somewhat apprehensive cock, started to stir. As he increased the current, my cock started to grow without any manual stimulation. He's let off the knob and my cock would start to go down, turn it up and up I went. The sensation was awesome, and I was hooked. I left Mr. S that day, the proud owner of a TENS unit with an extra set of sticky pads.

In the early years, I pretty much just used the sticky pads with the TENS. After a few years, I started to get electrodes. Some I was happy with, some were just a waste of money. My favorites (up until last night) are the Blue E-Bands, and the FlexProbe. I would position an e-band around my cock and the flexprobe up my ass. With e-stim, everything is in two's. You need two poles for the current to flow. Each of these is one pole, so when hooked to the base unit, the current would flow from my ass to my cock. If placed correctly, the current would flow across my prostate on the way up to my cock. If placed closer to my asshole, the current would make it pulse with each pulse from the machine. For the past 7 or 8 years, I've been using this configuration. It has always served me well.

A lot of people who stim are in search of HFO's. The are Hands Free Orgasm's, where your body eventually syncs with the current, and the pulsing brings you to orgasm. Once you sync like that, the orgasm can last a long and I do mean long time. You're sort of locked in with the current and ride the wave. Typically, less is more in this situation and you need to use lighter current over a longer time. Although I've done this, I am much more aggressive and prefer the current to be pounding my cock and balls and ass. Many times, I just can't deal with the relaxation required to work toward a HFO. I live a little more on the BDSM side of things. I like it when the current is so high that it feels like someone is slapping my balls hard from the inside, or beating my cock with a whip. This will typically not bring on a HFO, but it is wild as hell and I love it.

So, last night, I got home with my new toys. I was most excited about the bipolar butt plug. As I noted before, everything is in pairs in e-stim. With a bipolar electrode, both poles are contained in one electrode. For a butt plug this is awesome. The part inside your ass is one pole and the part just outside your hole is the other. The current moved back and forth between the two poles and I had heard it was like the butt plug was fucking you on its own. I don't know who originally figured this out, but god bless them! They, whoever they are, were right!

I got everything together. I was going to use the butt plug on one channel and the two Chokers on the other. They would be placed around my cock, one just behind the head and one toward the base. Now let me say this. I'm a top. Years ago, I was pretty much a bottom, but over time, I decided I liked to fuck more than I liked to get fucked. I don't spend a lot of time with things in my ass, like I used to. The butt plug is 1.5" in diameter, but it felt like I was trying to get a 747 up there. After a while, I got it in, and got the Chokers on and it was time to go. I went through the various modes on my e-stim box, an ET232 from ErosTek. I like the more aggressive modes most of the time. About 30 seconds into the session and I knew that I had waited way too long for a bipolar butt plug. The sensations were amazing, I could literally feel the plug getting pulled deeper into my ass on the top of each pulse wave. My cock was in heaven, as the Chokers are comfortable and provide a nice even dispersal of current over the cock. (If the current is not evenly dispersed, you can get hot spots which are similar to little static shocks).

I just laid there and let the unit do it's job, changing modes when I needed a break from one, or when I got bored. I was just in heaven. I guess the best way I can describe it is how it used to feel when I got high, but there were no drugs involved. Every nerve ending was at attention, every movement was recorded. After about 2.5 hours, I decided I needed to wrap it up so I could get to bed. Having an addictive personality, it would have been possible for me to lay there all night, which isn't always good, when you gotta work to pay the bills and buy the toys.

I took off the two chokers and left the butt plug in, and started to stroke my very hard and very angry looking cock. I got the mode adjusted just right and let the current wash over me. After about 2 or 3 minutes, my prostate gave up the ghost and just started throbbing. I wasn't actually cumming, but there was precum just flowing out of my cock, like i was pissing it out. Lots and lots of it, and still i wasn't cumming. I let this go on for a few minutes and then stopped to catch my breath. I started over on a new mode and knew that this time was gonna be it. My ass was pulsing in time with the stim box and the muscles at the base of my cock started to do the same. Pretty soon, everything was pulsing along at the same frequency. I started to nudge the power level up a little at a time. Just when I thought I was going to pass out, my electric orgasm started. Everything was in synch to the pulses of the current, so each strong pulse sent a stream of cum out of my cock. Even when there was no more cum, my cock was still convulsing like I was cumming. I let this go on for a while and then slowly eased down the current, enjoying the sensation as the electricity left my body.

Here's the thing. When your ass is convulsing like that over a period of a few hours, it tends to tighten up. It was HELL getting that butt plug out of my ass, as it was tighter than when I put it in. Felt like I was pushing out a brick, but it was only a 1.5" wide butt plug. It was all worth it in the end, pardon the pun. I cleaned everything, packed it all up and took a shower. Then I went to bed and my whole body was still buzzing. I was so exhausted, I feel asleep almost right away and had the best sleep I've had in a long time.

Can't wait for my next Electric Boogie!!!