Missing Chief

Six months ago today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to my 3 year old pup, Chief. I had rescued Chief from the pound 2 years earlier and he was the love of my life. Chief was a big dog, and sort of awkward, like a teenager. He was so sweet to me, and spent many nights with me curled up sleeping on the bed. In fact, I really think he believed the bed was his and I was just a guest, that typically didn't get more than a few inches of space most nights :-)

In the morning of March 30, I was getting ready for work when out of nowhere, Chief attacked 99, my oldest dog. 99 was also rescued from a parking lot behind a convenience store. I've had her for almost 11 years. Chief had never shown any signs of aggression toward 99, although he did not get along with my other dog, Max. About 6 months after I brought Chief home, he went after Max and caused $1200 of emergency vet damage. From that day on, I had to keep Max and Chief separated. Chief and 99 had been buddies, however. They played together all the time. It was a complete shock when Chief attacked 99. He grabbed onto her neck and would not let go. He was tossing her around like a rag doll. At almost 90 lbs, he was twice the size of 99 at 45 lbs. I screamed, I beat on him with a broom, I pulled on him, I got bit myself (yeah I know you are not supposed to get in the middle, but when your baby is being torn apart, thinking goes out the window).

After what seemed like hours, but was more like 10 minutes, They were separate. I got Chief into a back room and assessed the damage on 99. There was blood all over the house. There was blood on the rugs, on the walls, on the furniture. 99 was curled up hiding behind the recliner barely breathing and still bleeding. I rushed her to the Vet and they took her in right away. The news was not good. She was bleeding internally and had lost a ton of blood. They didn't know if she was going to make it. I was devastated. Chief had already done something very similar to Max, and now 99. I knew that he could not stay in the house any longer. I talked with the vet and they agreed that it would be hard to get any of the rescues to take Chief due to his aggressive acts. Also, we knew if I brought him to animal control, they would euthanize him. I could not in good conscience give him to anyone with pets or children, and to be honest, for the first time I was actually afraid for my own safety.

I went home while we waited to see if 99 was going to pull through. Chief knew something was wrong and he came and sat in front of my with his bloody paw on my knee. There was dried blood all over his face. I cried. I cried like I hadn't cried in a long time. After about an hour, I got up and put on Chief's leash and took him to the vet. They knew why we were there. They took us into the room and gave Chief a sedative to help him settle. I really wanted them to give me one. After a while, the vet came in and I sat on the floor feeding treats to Chief. He was a treat hound and would eat them all day long if given the chance. His tail was wagging and he was eating treats. They injected him and after about 20 seconds he ate his last treat and his tail stopped wagging. Just before his eyes closed I whispered "we'll be together again" in his ear. I was devastated. They let me sit with him as long as I wanted. His body was limp, it was clear he was gone.

I got up and went out front and asked to see 99. She was still in critical condition and when I went back to see her, she cried and put her head in my hand. The vet said it was just a waiting game at that point. So I waited. I went home and poor Max didn't know what was up. He had been sequestered in the master bedroom when everything happened. He must have heard all the commotion and then heard me rush out. He could see me leaving with 99 and then with Chief out the bedroom window. Then I came back each time alone. He must have been freaking. He sat on my feet and put his head on my knee as I cried. It was good to have him close.

In the end, 99 survived, although not without a long and difficult recovery. Chief was cremated and I have his ashes on a shelf in the living room. He gets to keep an eye on everything. Max and 99 are good and healthy and loving. They both sleep on the bed with me every night. Last night, I heard a big sigh and looked over. 99 was laying with her head on the pillow stretched out. She looked over at me and licked my nose and then sighed and went back to sleep. Max was curled up at the foot of the bed and rubbed his head on my feet. Things have gotten back to normal now and I'm happy for that. I still miss Chief, though. He loved me so much and made me laugh so much. In the end, though I've learned to live with my decision. I'll always wish it could have been different, but it is done, and life has gone on.

Six months later and I still catch myself looking for Chief every now and then. Somewhere, he's playing and running and happy. I firmly believe that.

Mixed bag of emotions...

Today, I read that trials of a new HIV vaccine have proven to be quite promising. Some are saying that this is the start of a beginning. Some are suggesting that this promising news will lead us to more discoveries sooner that will see a real, highly successful vaccine to HIV. I'm not sure why, but this news has hit me hard and my emotions are mixed. It appears that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel in the fight against new infections of HIV/AIDS. It looks at there is some hope for the future that others will be able to be vaccinated against this disease. For that hope, I am grateful. I want my niece and nephew to come of age where they don't have to think about contracting HIV, where a vaccination can protect them in the same way it protected me from measles and mumps.

It seems, however, with all this hope, I am overcome by a sense of loss. I don't feel it this way often, but today it is heavy in my heart. I can't help but think of all those who have died, who have fought the often tedious, always hard fight against this disease. I think about Tom, how I loved that man. How he fought. I think about my many other friends who have passed into the next wave of existence. Back in the late 80's and through the 90's really, I lost count of the memorial services, the burials, the scattering of ashes. I think of the friends who got so bad that they saved up the right combination of medications, smoked a joint, and downed them with a bottle of booze to hasten them on their journey. I remember the friends who sat with them as they passed, and who witnessed to keep their memory alive (I sat in that chair more than once).

I wonder what the future brings. When the vaccine has made transmission of HIV a thing of the past, what of those of us who still fight the battle? I've always tried to find meaning in the death of my friends by telling myself that their experience, their participation in clinical trials, their subjecting themselves to all forms of studies and tests were for the future, were for the betterment of humanity in helping to find a way to stop this crazy train. But what happens when the disease is no more because of a vaccine? What meaning do our deaths have then?

What about those of us who are becoming "long term survivors"? The effects of the meds get worse over time. Some of the friends I have now living with HIV/AIDS are dying from the long exposure to medications that would kill a normally healthy person. The liver and kidneys shut down. The heart overworked. The digestive system torn apart. What happens to those in the middle, not saved by the vaccine, but not dead from the disease?

I'm sure in a few hours, I'll be thinking about something else, something that won't make my head and my heart ache. Just for now....I remember and I wonder and I hope.

The joys of the Icejack

Last night, I settled in with my Icejack by Fleshjack. I really love the Icejack, as you can see through it and watch your hard cock fuck in and out. I chose the Ultratight butthole. The butthole opening is really nice and tight. It feels great as it grips your cock and milks it. The Ultratight sleeve is just what it says, Ultra Tight!! It really feels like you are fucking a nice tight ass. I love to just watch my hard piece fucking in an out. The feelings are amazing and the visual drives me wild.

After a nice solid fucking, I felt the urge in the base of my cock. My cock started to get harder and I could feel the Icejack tighten around it. It wasn't long before I was pounding my cock with Icejack and heading for the brink. Typically, I would spend a long time edging and just enjoying the feeling, but I had things to do, so I just went for it. I had the camera nearby so I shot a short clip of me cumming in the Icejack and the cum dripping out. Good times!!!!

I highly recommend the Icejack. No matter what set up you go with, you will not be disappointed. The nice thing is, you can design your own, choosing what opening and texture you want. Follow the link for a 10% off coupon as well.

A very WET play session

Yesterday, I got to play with my favorite piss pig. This guy is so awesome. I met him at a bookstore and we hit it off. We exchanged numbers after we played, which I never do. Strangely enough, we actually contacted each other and we've played a few times since. When we were first talking about playing, he told me that he wanted to get really wet, and "not kneeling in the tub wet, but on a tarp on the floor, rolling around in it getting covered wet." Needless to say, I was hooked. He said all the right things. I like my watersports wet and nasty, not antiseptic and cold.

To accomplish this, I make a makeshift pool out of a tarp, it is cheap and easy. You take a small tarp (6x8) and fold up the corners and then fold and tape the sides together to make a shallow box using duct tape. I usually make the sides about 6 inches high. Too much higher and they fall in on themselves, too much lower and you risk spills. The whole process takes about 3 minutes and makes for a great piss play pool. The tarp is like $5, can't beat it. At the end of the session, it is easy to pick up by the 4 corners and bring to a suitable place to dump and rinse. Sometimes the simplest, cheapest solutions are the best.

When we get together, I'm full of water. I mean, bloated painfully full. This is a good thing, though, as all that water needs to go somewhere. We piss all over each other many times and then we roll around in it and cover every inch of each other's bodies in it. It is so fucking hot! Yesterday was no different. We met at the hotel. I already had constructed "the pool". When he walked in, we attacked each other and were naked in seconds. Then, I already had to piss, so he jumped into the pool and I stood over him. This time, I had brought the video camera. I turned on the power to the camera, stood over him and let out a long and powerful stream of liquid heaven. I tried to cover every inch of my little pig. He ducked and let it run over his beautiful shaved head and down his back and the perfect crack of his ass. It ran down his chest and his hard abs to his beautiful cock and balls. He slurped up and swallowed a lot of it. We were both panting and getting off on the moment. Then I looked down and realized I had never pushed record on the camera. DOH!! We both had a laugh before I knelt down and laid on top of him as we rolled around in the pool.

We got up and toweled off and moved to the bed. We licked and sucked every inch of one another. I spent a lot of time on his ass. He has the sweetest tasting asshole. It is clean with just the right musk and sweat. He loves it when I slowly work my tongue into his hole. My tongue is strong and insistent and I can feel his hole open up as I push in deeper and deeper. I could eat his ass all day and never be bored. He spent a good deal of time sucking my cock and balls. He knew exactly what he was doing and took to the new jewelry like a champ. Nothing is more of a buzz kill than when a guy asks if you really have to wear your PA jewelry. My little pig never asked and actually was getting off on the size of the jewelry and the new big balls.

It wasn't long before I had to piss again. We made our way back to the pool, but this time, I was sure to turn on the camera. It was so fucking hot. I was pissing for what seemed like forever, and all of a sudden, he yelled "I'm gonna blow". It completely caught me by surprise. He shot a nice load, while I tried to get the camera pointed in that direction. I got most of it on film. The whole scene was probably 90 seconds long, but so very fucking hot. I put the camera down and again joined him wallowing in the pool in my piss mixed with his cum. HEAVEN!!

We proceeded to get up and empty and rinse the pool and shower. Then we laid on the bed and just relaxed for a while. Eventually we got up and got dressed and went on our way. We already were talking about the next time. I love the way this works. He's got a partner, so there are no strings. We just get together every few weeks to play hot and nasty!

Sex in a Can....my first fake pussy

Last week, Fleshlight came out with a new product. The Sex in a Can is sort of a mini version of the Fleshlight. It is in a plastic can, the size of a Foster's Lager. The principle is the same, tight opening, realistic material, great textures inside. I was intrigued. When Fleshlight posted a 15% off link on Twitter, I decided to give them a try. I order the 3 pack, one of each Sex in a Can model. They arrived yesterday and I was eager to go for a spin to see how they stacked up to the Fleshjacks.

First off, let's clear something up. Yes, I love cock and ass and men men men, but I am not opposed to fucking a nice wet pussy either. I've done it before and will do it again. So, I was not at all put off by the pussy opening on the Lotus Lager Sex in a Can. It was definitely small and tight. The Sex in a Can is significantly smaller than the Fleshlight. I didn't find it too tight, but it was definitely borderline for me, and I'm not blessed with a huge cock. The Lotus texture is supposed to be their most realistic to the real thing. I'm not sure how realistic it was, but it definitely was hot!! I lubed it up and slid in past the tight pussy lips. The opening grabbed my cock and held it tight. I adjusted the back cap on the can for a little less suction and began to pound away on my hard cock. There are chambers inside the sleeve that sort of grab your cock as you pull out. This drove me crazy! I did find that I needed to relube more than I have with the Fleshjacks, but I think it's because the chambers were holding some lube. No worries, I have plenty of fresh lube :-)

I pounded my cock with the can for almost 90 minutes. I was close a bunch of times. In fact, one time, I let just a little cum shoot out and then stopped myself. I took some video and photos and you can see the cum drip out of the can when I pull it off my cock.

After a while, I decided to let it go. If you watch this clip, you'll notice that when I cum, everything shakes. This was not staged. Literally, my whole body was convulsing when I came, the orgasm was so intense. I still like my Fleshjacks better, and will probably invest in a Lotus Fleshlight, as they seem to give my cock more room to breathe, for lack of a better term. But, I can say without a doubt that the Sex in a Can produced a mind blowing orgasm on the first time out, and really what more can you ask for??

September Slutfest - M4BB.com Play Party

Saturday afternoon/evening was the September edition of the Men4Bareback.com play party. It was a gloomy day in Tampa. It had rained all night on Friday and all through the morning on Saturday. I left the house with my Buffalo Chicken Dip and headed for Apopka (outside of Orlando) for the wet drive to the party. I hate driving I4 in the rain, all the tourists between Tampa and Orlando treat the rain like its snow and drive like crazy people. I was looking forward to the party, as the last one had been awesome. I was also going to see the guy I had met at the last party and had spent the weekend with in Orlando a few weeks ago. John is a sweet guy and lots of fun. We've been talking a lot and there is definitely something there. I was looking forward to fucking him and watching him get fucked at the party.

I met John outside the party and we headed in. Larry and Arnie are such great hosts. Things were all set up again, and we checked in and proceeded to strip naked. One of the things that I like about the M4BB.com parties is that there is a "warm up" period and then every one is expected to get naked. Nothing is more annoying than going to a play party and there are people who sit around fully clothed, not playing and just watching. At these parties, every one knows the drill and pretty much gets naked right after they walk in. I went with Larry to heat up the chicken dip and lost track of John. I love the M4BB.com parties cuz they are just the right mix of social and sex. Out in the kitchen, everyone is chatting and snacking on the various goodies people brought. Just around the corner in the bedrooms, people are playing on the bed, or in the sling. Outside at the pool, people might be sitting in the hot tub, or sucking cock in a lounge chair.

I chatted with Arnie for a while about porn and web stuff, and then went to the back of the house to find John was already going at it heavy with some guy with a beautiful cock. I joined in for a few minutes and then drifted to another room. I found some guys there to play with. There was a hot latin guy there. He was young, mid 20's, and hot as hell. I played with him for a while and had a lot of fun. I fucked a few guys and dropped my load in them. I love being a top, especially at these parties, as there seem to be more people catching than pitching, so I never have a problem finding a place to shove my hard cock.

I had new jewelry in my PA. I was wearing a curved barbell, and it was perfect. It allowed me to fuck without having to remove the 2ga jewelry. It felt incredible, and I'm told the bottoms liked it too :-) After a while, I ended up in the master bedroom where there was a group of 5 or 6 guys going at it. They were all hot guys and looked to be having lots of fun. Arnie was there and I've wanted to play with Arnie since the last party when I didn't get to. So we started to play and I bent him over the bed and fucked him hard and fast. It was so hot, Arnie is such a hot guy and has a beautiful body. His ass is really nice and tight and quite talented. He milked my hard cock until I shot a load deep in his ass. I slipped out after a few minutes and he turned and sucked every last drop from my very appreciative cock.

At some point I found John again and we fucked. The latin guy was across the room and we locked eyes a few times. I really wanted to fuck his ass, but never got the chance...oh well, next time. These parties are so much fun. There is literally NO attitude, which is really unusual for a gathering of a bunch of gay men. Everyone has lots of sex and the groups form and change organically. If you come to one of the parties and don't leave satisfied, well, you're not doing something right.

We watched some more porn on the big screen in the living room, and chatted. The party is, as I mentioned, very organic. People drift from area to area, playing or snacking or watching porn, sitting by or in the pool/hot tub. Someone on twitter said they were surprised there would be food. These parties are long, sometimes 9 hours or more. You need to recharge your battery with all that sex.

When I left the party, I was drained, literally. The drive home was also in the rain. I was so glad to finally be home. When I dropped into bed, I was out within a few minutes, and dreamed of all the hot men I'd played with. Can't wait for the next party in October!!

Note to a friend

A friend asked me to share with him my "story" the other day. I guess our lives are one long story with characters and plot twists and beautiful and tragic themes. I wrote this note to him, and thought I'd share it here.

You asked for it, here it is....

My maternal grandparents were both alcoholics. My parents are not. I, apparently, got the gene for addiction. When I was in my teens and 20's I'd go pretty crazy in college but just chalked it up to college days, nothing more. When I graduated, I stopped drinking as a means of losing weight and I lost a lot of weight,. After college, I moved to FL and still didn't really drink, although I'd have a beer every now and then.

I met Tom, while I was living in Tampa and waiting tables at a restaurant out at the beach. Tom was everything that I wanted in a man. He was 38, I was 25. We hit it off right away. He was in FL on vacation from San Francisco to visit his family. Tom asked me if I would come to visit him in SF. I told him, maybe some day I could afford it. He told me he would pay for my ticket and food lodging while I came to visit him. It was like a dream come true. A few months later, I flew to SF and spent 10 days with Tom. It was awesome. I really felt like Cinderella and that I was just in one big fairytale (yeah yeah, I know all the puns). I cried the night before I left as Tom held me in bed. I knew I'd probably never see him again and then he said it "Come and live with me." I couldn't believe what I heard and I had to ask him to repeat. "Come and live with me, you can move out here and find a job. You'll have a place to live." I was shocked but every part of me wanted to move to SF. 3 moths later, I got on the plane for SF to move there.

The first 6 months or so were pretty great. I found a job, made friends, and settled into life in SF. Tom and I had an open relationship and we each played on the side. After a while, I lost my job downtown and found a job working on the opening of a new bar on Castro Street, Daddies. Up to that time, I wasn't really drinking but was smoking pot regularly. One night, I met a guy who offered me some meth, and I tried it. I was a mess. I did WAY too much too fast and the next day was tweaked out of my mind. My friends just laughed and said to be careful. I was afraid to do it again after that for a few months, but then one night another guy offered it to me, and I tried again, not quite as piggy this time. I was hooked. BIG TIME!! From then on, I was pretty much high on meth or coming down all the time. I'd stay up for days at a time and then completely sleep through my days off. I mean, I would sleep 48 hours straight without moving. Pretty scary. By that time, I had got my own place. Tom and I were still close, but I wanted to spread my wings.

Then Tom died.

Tom died of complications from AIDS in June of 1996. My world fell apart. I went on huge binges where I did meth, and heroin, and ecstasy, and pot and booze, and crack and coke (not the same thing as some would lead you to believe). I didn't care who fucked me, who I had sex with, where I had sex, what I ate, where I slept, nothing. Somehow I managed to keep my job managing the bar, probably because the owner was a huge alcoholic and had his own shit to deal with, so I was able to maintain and slide under the radar. I just kept getting worse and worse. I spent every cent I had on drugs, had huge drug orgies at my apartment. People would steal my shit, I never noticed. People would steal my money, I never cared. It was all a huge mess. I used to sit up all night, waiting for the "men" to come and get me. I was so paranoid, I would see people everywhere that weren't there. I would hallucinate that there were bugs crawling out of my arms and try to pick them out,. I still have scars in my tattoos where I picked and picked at nothing for weeks. I'm not sure if I even showered during that period. I seem to recall that I did some times, but I'm not 100% sure. I stole drugs from friends, I stole money from friends, I stole food from friends (food that I couldn't even eat).

The close friends that I had when I first moved to SF were all but gone. They gave up on me a few years earlier and who could blame them....I had already given up on myself. My life had become just one big drug induced sex party. At some point in all of this, I sero-converted. All of the time with Tom, and I had remained NEG and then after Tom I didn't care and becoming POZ was just another easy slip down the ladder.

I remember when I hit bottom. I was mugged and someone got my Visa check card and used it to wipe out my account. I had no idea for a while, but when I found out I called my mother. I had nothing. No money, no friends, no Tom, I had quit my job. My mother said, "maybe it's time you come home" and I cried like a baby. The next day she sent me a one way plane ticket to FL where she and my father were living. I packed up what I could of my 5 years in SF. I shipped boxes with my stuff back with money my mom sent with the plane ticket. I abandoned most my my stuff in SF. The one friend that I had left had been in recovery for many years. He knew my deal although I never told him. He agreed that it was time for me to get out of SF before I died. He took me to the airport.

I did my last few lines of meth in the airport bathroom at SF Intl Airport. It was Christmas Eve 1997. My plane got delayed in St. Paul and I sat in the airport bar getting drunk to try to overcome the fact that the meth was wearing thin and I needed a bump I wasn't gonna get. I was wasted on the plane from St. Paul to Ft. Myers. It was Christmas Day 1997. Happy Birthday Jesus......

The next few weeks at my parents' house are a blur to me even to this day. I detoxed in their back bedroom. I told them I had the flu. I mostly slept and vomited and didn't eat. After a few weeks I crawled out of the dark and decided to get it together. I so wanted to be back in SF. I hated FL and did not want to be here. But, life is what it is and I found a way. I picked myself up and applied for a bunch of IT jobs. I got an interview and a job working in Tampa. The week after I started, I moved into my own apartment. Since then, I've moved into a larger apartment, adopted my dogs, bought a house, obtained my Master's degree, and many other accomplishments that I'm proud of.

I never got involved in a "program", It was just never for me. I do believe that the universe holds great things for me. I also believe that in the end, I can never touch drugs or booze again. I still have drug dreams, and still get the shakes when I talk about it, but I'm here over 11 years clean and sober. It will be 12 years on Christmas. I think for most people, "the program" is probably the best thing there is. I don't even know how to describe what I've done and how I've gotten to this place. I do take it one day at a time. I no longer let the small stuff fuck with my head. I'm not really sure how much time I've got left. I've been POZ for 13 years, but know many who have lived much longer. I also know plenty who have not lived half as long as I have. Who knows? I sure don't. But here is the thing. I've been given the greatest gift. To live on this planet and be a part of this wild world. I've loved, I've lost, I've made huge huge mistakes. I could die today and I go with no regrets. I try to live my life so that I can say that every day. I've told my family and friends that no matter when my time comes, I am happy, I love life, and I love that I've been given the opportunity to live it. By the way, I have no answers. Mostly questions. I think in the end, we all need to find the answers on our own.

So that's my story. You're probably sorry you asked. Here's the thing, my friend. You're not the first one to make this journey, but you are the first to make "your" journey. If you need a little help reading the signposts, let me know. I can't make any promises, but I can try :-)

Don

Fleshjack/Fleshlight Party = Success, sort of

Well, the Fleshjack/Fleshlight party was a success, but it was a lot of work and hassle to get there. I started a few days before the party with postings on Craigslist to announce the party.

Fleshlight/Fleshjack Party

I've got a room at a hotel in XXX booked for Sunday night. Going to bring my Fleshjacks/Fleshlights and am looking to get a group of guys together who want to j/o with their Fleshlights/jacks. If you don't know what a Flesklight/jack is, go to fleshlight dot com or fleshjack dot com and check them out. Most amazing experience you will have with your cock. I have like 6 of them, so I will have some to share. If you have one, please bring it.

Send your stats and a pic and I will add you to the list. Also, let me know if you have a fleshy or need to borrow one. Right now there are more guys than Fleshy's, but if you don't mind jerking off while you wait to try one, no problem.

This is open to str8, bi and gay guys. All ages, colors and types. The only requirement is that you must get naked and you must participate (jerk off, use a fleshlight, or whatever else comes up)

You'd think that was pretty clear, but apparently people don't know how to read these days. I got a bunch of emails with just "count me in" nothing more. I'd reply with a request for stats/pic and get nothing. Then some guys would send me their stats/pic and then play 20 questions with me, each in a different email. Who is going to be there? How many are coming? What are their ages? What do they look like? Do they have big dicks? Will there be str8 guys? The list goes on and on and on and on. I must have replied to well over 200 emails. The reason I asked for stats and a pic was so that I could put names with faces when they arrived. I really hate pic collectors, you know the guys who want to trade pics but never want to hook up in th end. Well, in the end, I had a list of about 30 people who said they wanted to come. On the day of the party, I emailed out complete details, the location of the party, some basic guidelines (guests welcome from 7-8pm, doors close at 8pm for play. once doors close you need to get naked or excuse yourself). I asked the 30 to confirm and got about 10 confirmations. Of those 8 showed up. Let me tell you, it was way too much work for the return.

I really think the internet has been a mixed blessing when it comes to hook ups. In the old days, I had to go cruise someplace to find cock, or sit in a bar...ugh. Then came the sex phone lines. I liked those. I'd never set anything up until I got someones actual number. Far fewer people had cell phones then, so if you got their number, it was likely really their home number. My success rate was pretty high when I got someones number and called them back before I'd meet them. Now, with the internet, it is all so anonymous that people will say they are coming and never show, and never worry about it. Even if you have their email, it is probably a junk email they use for hooking up. The more anonymous, the more responses you have to go through before one is actually a real person. So, on the one hand, it's easier cuz you don't have to leave the house to find a playmate, on the other it's more work.

Anyhow, I got the room ready and had the Fleshlight/jacks all warming in a tub of hot water. The first few guys arrived and settled in. They knew the deal and stripped off their shorts in no time. One guy had a huge cock, at least 8.5 inches and thick. The other guy was pretty modest, but he got into it. I asked if they wanted to try the Fleshy's and the one with the huge cock said sure. The other wanted to wait a bit as he had a short fuse and didn't want to cum too fast. He was smart!! A few other guys trickled in. The guy with the huge cock was raping my Vortex Icejack, and you could see his beautiful cock thrusting in and out. I was concerned he my break it (the Fleshjack, not his cock, not really but it was HUGE). The next few guys to arrive stripped quickly and each had a Fleshy on their cock in no time. The guys started swapping them around to try all the different openings and textures. A few more guys arrived and we were up to 7 now. When the guys didn't have a Fleshjack attached to their cock, I or one of the other guys was sucking their cocks. They all had nice cocks of varying shapes and sizes. The biggest problem was that they liked the Fleshjacks so much. Most of the guys came within a few minutes of using them. I wanted everyone to get settled in and stroke with them like I do for a few hours. I had my camera and was gonna take some photos, but the guys came so quickly and then got dressed and left. Nobody stayed around for a second go. Personally, when I go to a play party, I'll shoot three or four loads over the course of the party. I don't like to leave on the first shoot.

After a few guys had left, another arrived. He was a 19 year old African American kid with the most beautiful 8" uncut cock I've seen in ages. I got him comfortable and shoved a fleshjack down on his hard cock. I think he stroked like three times before the look on his face told me he shot. He pulled off the Fleshjack and a huge load ran out all over his cock. I swooped down and licked it all up and sucked his beautiful cock for a while before he motioned he was ready to leave. A few other guys finished off and were also ready to leave. The last guy joined me on the bed and I sucked his cock as he took breaks from the SpeedBump Icejack he had in his hand. After a few minutes, he came as well. Doors opened at 7pm, last guy was done and out by 8:30....fastest party I've ever had, and Ive had a lot of parties. The good news is that some of the guys wanted to buy Fleshjacks after the party. Hopefully, I've created a few converts :-)

Another day, another Fleshjack :-)

Just got my latest UPS order and with it my 3 for 2 Fleshjack deal. Buy 2 Fleshjack sleeves, get 1 free. The sleeve I wanted to try the most is in this order, the Super Ribbed. I love texture, and so I can't wait to give this one a try. Over the weekend, I think I'm gonna try to put together a Fleshjack party. This will be a small one, maybe just 3 or 4 guys, working on our cocks with the Fleshjacks. If I can make it happen, I'll try to get a few photos. The only sleeves left that I want to get are the Endurance Jack and the Lotus and Twista. I'm going to have to switch over to the Fleshlights for the Lotus and the Twista and get some with girlie parts. I don't mind, I like to fuck all kinds of holes, so it's all good for me.

The damn Fleshjack is killing me.....

OK, not really. But, I've got to say that I'm enthralled with the Fleshjack. I wrote previously about my first experience with one. I recently tried a few of the other insert textures and have to say, it's hard to pick a favorite. The other night I tried the Speedbump. It was definitely intense. I think part of the reason is that I had my PA jewelry in, so the top of the head of my cock was pressed against the speedbumps more. This created a sensation that was close to pain, but not quite there. For some it may have been too intense, for me, it was AWESOME!! As I mentioned before, I can edge with these things for a long time. I really like that. I can also pump them just right to get off pretty much as fast as I want to. I've already ordered 3 more, so I will have a total of 7 as of tomorrow. Damn, Fleshjack, why do you feel so good??

Last night, I spent 3 hours with the UltraTight. From the discussions on the Fleshlight forums, it seems that the UltraTight is not a crowd favorite. Personally, it is one of my favorites by far. I'm a firm grip kind of guy when I jerk off. So, the UltraTight really feels good with it's tight grip on my cock. It feels like fucking a really nice tight ass. I played with the Fleshjack for about 3 hours, as I mentioned, and it was awesome. I did need to apply lube pretty frequently as this particular texture seems to eat it up, but that was no problem. I love to change the stroke length and speed, and twist the FJ as I stroke. When I start to feel close, I just slow down and can ride the edge forever. My cock was screaming to be set free by the time I was done, and when I finally released, I actually shot all the way through and out the other end (I had taken the end cap off to drip in some lube).

Tomorrow, the SuperRibbed is coming via UPS. I can't wait to try that one. There are some textures that can only be had with the FleshLight Girls, I want to try those too, and since I don't mind sticking my cock in a pussy, I won't mind having a few Fleshlights with pussy lips.

The guys over at Men4Bareback.com are talking about putting together a Fleshlight/Fleshjack party. We will all bring our units and we can try them all out. Sort of like a Tupperware party for Fleshlight/Fleshjacks. It's kind of funny, if you read the forums on the Fleshlight site, there are a lot of straight guys who talk about how they love to use their Fleshlight, but then if someone asks about a group getting together, they are all shy about it. Gay and Bi guys on the other hand, are all about it. I'm sure once the party gets set up it will end up being awesome. I think we're gonna play with the Fleshy's and then we'll all just fuck. Will be hot if some guys are using the Fleshjacks while they are getting fucked. Anyhow, I'm stoked for that party. The guys from Men4Bareback are in NOLA for Southern Decadance, but are gonna schedule the party when they get back. By the way, if you have not been over to Men4Bareback.com, you really should check it out. The site has great features and doesn't limit your functionality like other sites do unless you cough up money. I also find that I've met the most "real" people on that site than I have on any other. The bareback parties that they host each month are truly awesome!!

Flesh as in Jack and Light

Recently, I've discovered the joys of the Fleshjack/Fleshlight. If you are not familiar with the Fleshjack or the Fleshlight, then you owe it to yourself...and your hard cock....to check them out. The Fleshlight is marketed for straight guys while the Fleshjack is marketed for gay guys. They are pretty much the same thing, aside from the openings available.

What exactly are they? Well they are masturbation toys for men. In my many years of sexual awareness, I've tried just about everything out there. I've tried blow up dolls and rubber butts and "masturbation sleeves" and cheap porn store pumps. None of them really did much for my cock. In fact some of them didn't even allow me to keep a good solid hard on. I have heard about the Fleshlight/jack off an on for a while now. I checked out the websites, watched numerous videos on X-tube (just search on Fleshlight or Fleshjack and you will find literally hours of clips of guys working their cocks with them), asked about them on Twitter, googled them, etc. As they are not cheap $5 items, I wanted to see if they really lived up to the hype. I checked out the forums on the Fleshlight web site and it seemed that there were hordes of satisfied customers.

I wasn't really convinced, however. I've fallen for the latest and greatest toy to bring you ultimate pleasure before and mostly have been disappointed. My friends Arnie and Larry who run Men4Bareback.com have an ad for Fleshjack on their site. I know how these things work and that they get a kickback if I order from that link, so I asked Arnie if he liked his Fleshjack. He gave it a good review, and I as know that Arnie and Larry are as piggy as I am, I trusted his opinion and used the link from his site to order my first Fleshjack Ice or "Icejack".

The Fleshlights/jacks (FL/FJ) come in a variety of openings and textures and also two different colors. The original or pink simulates pink flesh. It is considerably "pinker" than most flesh I've seen, but it gets the idea across. The ice material is clear. The material is a "special polymer" that isn't latex and isn't silicone. Not sure what it is, but it is stretchy and soft. The Fleshjack openings include a little mini butt (Jackass), an actual butthole, a set of lips, and what they call "closet" which is just a slit that looks like a coin slot. This is apparently for those in the closet whose wife or kids would be mortified if they found their gay sex toy with a mouth or ass on it. The internal textures offer a wide variety. There is everything from Original which is a smooth tube, to Super ribbed, Speed bumps, and Vortex, which is well, it is awesome is what it fucking is!!!!

Let's face it, if you've read my blog, you know that I do all kinds of crazy things to my cock. I pierce it, I electrocute it, I pump it, I shove steel rods and rubber worms down it. My cock is pretty open to new sensations and experiments. After reading the forums, it seemed that the Vortex texture was pretty intense, and so I decided to go with that. Many people were cautioned not to start with the Vortex as it might be too much for some people, but I know my cock could handle intense. I ordered a clear sleeve with clear case, so I could watch my cock work it's way in and out of the Vortex. Ordering was easy and the "Icejack" arrived in two days, as I had ordered 2 Day UPS.

I took my new toy home and filled the sink with hot water. It is recommended that you soak the sleeve in warm/hot water to enhance the experience. I did so, and picked out my favorite porn (Pigs at the Troff) and got out my water based lube. I really am not a fan of water based lube. I prefer silicone based first and oil based second with water based last. But, the FL/FJ should only be used with water based lube, so I complied. I had a bottle of generic Astroglide from CVS that I don't mind, so I dropped the bottle in the sink of hot water to warm it up. After a few water changes, I put the sleeve into its clear case and squirted some lube inside the Jackass, then on my cock. I got good and hard and slid my cock inside. I was fully expecting that I was going to be disappointed and that the FJ was gonna end up in the chest of misfit toys. I mean seriously, how was this gonna feel as good as everyone said it would?

So, I slid in and started working the FJ up and down my hard cock. It actually didn't feel too bad. I mean, it wasn't a blow job or an ass, but it was warm and wet and my cock seemed to like it......for the first few minutes.....then my cock LOVED it!! Apparently, the Vortex has ribs in a swirl inside. They make your cock fell all kinds of good. I started to work the FJ faster up and down my cock, and then when I started to feel close, I backed off. I found that I was able to edge a lot easier with the FJ than with my hand. With my hand the temptation to get too close was easy to fall into, and just a flick of a finger could put me over the edge. With the FJ, I was able to stay close but not too close for a long long time. In fact, it was the best edging I'd ever had.

The Vortex texture was doing all kinds of crazy things to my cock. I could tell I was dripping as I pumped the FJ up and down. I worked it around and side to side too. It was blowing my mind. After a while I decided to call it a session and head for the finish line. I can honestly say in all my life I never came like that. I didn't pull out when I came, instead I kept stroking my throbbing cock with the FJ. The texture of the Vortex did some wild things to my cock. I found myself making the craziest noises as I came. I mean, this was totally involuntary, and I was hollering and whimpering. It was nuts! After I came, I couldn't move the FJ on my cock, the sensations were so intense. I just sat there, kind of stunned and amazed that this thing was as good as people said it was.

I finally pulled out my cock and as I did, my load mixed with the lube poured out all over my cock and balls and belly. It was so warm and wet, it was awesome. After a while I managed to get up and head into the bathroom to clean up, me and the FJ. Cleaning the FJ was easy. I just ran cold water through it first and all the cum congealed and came out, then hot water to wash away all the lube. I let it dry per the instructions and then coated it with cornstarch to keep it soft and smooth.

The next day I went online and ordered three more, as they have a Buy 2, Get 1 Free sale. I got the Speed Bump, the Wonder Wave and the Ultra Tight. I've used the Wonder Wave and the Ultra Tight and they are both awesome. In each one I had crazy sessions and wild orgasms. They are each different and unique. So far, I think Vortex is my favorite, but I'm not disappointed in the others. Tonight, I think I'm gonna try Speed Bump and see what that does to me. If it is like the others, I'll be howling like a wild monkey by the time I cum. At this point, my hand has taken a back seat to my FJ. I'm gonna try to get some pics or maybe even video with the FJ tonight. Keeping my fingers crossed.

If you've thought about getting one of these, I highly recommend them. I really thought it would be a lot of hype, and boy am I glad I was wrong.