A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

This is not the pilgrims and the indians, this is not the large family surrounding the table filled with freshly baked turkey and gravy. Today is just me and mom...and dad....sort of.

Dad is dying. There really is no way around this. He is confined to a hospital bed in the front room and is barely responding. Mom and I have adjusted his position to keep him comfortable. He opens his eyes, but can't speak. He is a frail, wilted skeleton of the man that was my father. We were never close as I was growing up. Over the years, he has mellowed and I've come to appreciate his love for me. Now, though, there is really nothing left. My dad has always had a dry sense of humor, but I could always make him laugh. Try as I may, he isn't laughing anymore, or even smiling.

His chest rattles as his lungs fill with fluid....again. Mom and I have spent the day talking about what we're gonna do....after. We've got to get a funeral home here, and then we'll need to get dad's ashes home (his real home, Cape Cod) for a scattering at sea. There will be a memorial service at some point there and probably one here in FL as well. So much to do, and he's not even dead yet.

I got up last night for a drink and was struck by the irony of a Do Not Resuscitate order signed and taped to the fridge. The whole house is full of death, and death still has yet to arrive. It's like we've prepared for Santa and now wait in our beds to hear the patter of hooves on the roof. We were talking and my mom and her friend, both nurses for 40 years or more said these types of deaths can be long and hard. It's funny, in the end, we are created to live not to die. We float smoothly through life and then when the end comes, our bodies don't let go. Our bodies know, even when we don't that this is a great gift and a blessing.

And still there are things to be thankful for. Dad isn't in pain...that's a BIG one. I've got 99 here with me and she is such a sweet dog. I've always called her my dark angel and she is again keeping me sane. Her wagging tail and instant drool at the sight of any food makes me smile. It's a beautiful day. A cold front has moved through and the clouds have parted leaving a cool crisp fall day, rare for this time of year in Florida. I've got some incredible friends and family, who I should never take for granted. I'm alive, that's always a good one.

You know, if you are reading this, then you are blessed. Not because of this blog, but because you have the technology and resources to be able to access the internet. This likely means you have food and shelter and most probably clothing (though I know a lot of you don't prefer to go without). When you feel the need to bitch about something, remember that. You have more than over 90% of the people on the planet...be grateful,

If your ex drives you nuts, if your parents piss you off, if your health isn't always what you hope, remember that you choose. You decide whether to love and live every minute or to waste them and throw them away.

Dad is dying in the other room and I just carved up a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket and opened some cans of veggies and a jar of gravy. This will be the first Thanksgiving since I was born that my Mom has not cooked a turkey dinner. At this point, neither of us cares about that. We'll sit down and give thanks for the little things and the big, and we'll have another Thanksgiving meal together. When I put the leftovers in the fridge, I'll wince a little at the DNR order, but know this. I will NOT be defeated. I will count every blessing for this big beautiful universe and I will thank the gods that in all of the world in all of time, I am here and now.

Epilogue.....

8 hours after I posted this, my father has passed. Peacefully, with my mom by his side where she has been for 44 years.

Blessings and rest Dad, you have most definitely earned it.

Twelationships and Twuck Buddies

Ahh Twitter, you've done it again. Less than one month ago, I wrote "And now a word from our reality check....I'm "in love"" Well, here we are less than 30 days later, and I'm no longer in love. Not me, so much. I was never in love. I've pretty much always been in lust. The twelationship that I wrote of lasted a whole month and ended with a series of tweets that brought back all the angst and depression we all had come to expect.

Better, I say, to have Twuck Buddies. A Twuck Buddy is someone you meet on Twitter and then get together to fuck with. I had one such Twuck Buddy come and spend the weekend with me. D arrived on Friday morning and I picked him up at the airport. We headed directly to the hotel and checked in. We weren't in our room for 10 minutes when we were naked and rolling around on the bed. He prepared, while I waited on the bed getting more horny by the minute. Finally, he was ready and we fucked hard and fast. I ate his sweet ass and sucked his beautiful (huge might I add) cock. I pressed my cock into his TIGHT hole and had some actual trouble getting in. I fuck A LOT and never have any trouble. This ass was so tight, I pressed and pressed and it took a long time. Finally, I got in and it was awesome. D was making these great sounds under me on the bed and I was sweating and pounding. Finally, I dropped a nice load in his ass. I pulled out and shoved my tongue as deep in his ass as I could to taste my cum and his ass together.

We got dressed and headed out for lunch and then back to the hotel for more fucking. It was easier to get into his ass this time and I had a great time riding him. We curled up together on the bed for a nap and then headed out for some dinner.

Saturday was the Men4Bareback play party, so we spent the day doing non sex things. Didn't want to get to the party all worn out. The party was awesome. There were some new guys there, including D, and they were all hot. I went to the back room and D was back there getting his cock sucked and then he was getting fucked and then he was fucking someone. It was awesome to watch. I got to play with a lot of really hot guys and fucked a bunch. At one point, D asked me how many time I'd filled an ass so far and it was up to 4. Toward the end of the night, D was playing with this other really hot guy, R. R had a huge uncut cock and one of the most beautiful asses I'd seen in a long time. He and D were playing with some other guys. After a while, R was fucking D. There is nothing hotter than two black guys going at it, well nothing hotter unless I get to be in the mix.

F showed up late and I was happy. I have a man crush on F. Not for anything serious, I just think he is so hot and like to play with him. He has a beautiful cock and a great smile. Soon enough, I ended up in the sling room and dropped down to my knees to work on his cock. There was a bear type guy there with a nice PA. He came over and F got him to feed me his cock. I pulled the two guys closer together and shoved both in my mouth at the same time. I worked them for a while while I pounded on my cock with my fist. It was soon too late and I blew all over my hand and the floor. I scooped it all up and licked my hand clean. F pulled me up and kissed me deep, tasting my load. I was in heaven.

D and I headed back to the hotel, but not before D exchanged info with R. He mentioned that R might want to get together on Sunday. NICE!!! When we got back to the hotel, we ate leftovers from the night before and then hit the pillows drained from the night's fun. Sunday came quickly and we headed out for some shopping and then back to the hotel to wait for R. He was coming over after he saw a movie. I was so stoked. Two big black guys with big dicks and both hot as hell wanted to play with little old Charlie Brown me. R arrived and we got down to business pretty fast. I got to suck is beautiful uncut cock for the first time and then he went at D's ass with it. While he fucked D hard and deep, I took some photos and short vid clips and ate R's ass. His ass was sooooo sweet. It wasn't long before he was busting in D's ass and I was busting all over his ass. I ate up my load and then when he pulled out of D, I slurped up his load from D's ass and shared it with D. What a perfect afternoon!!

We ordered room service and hung out for a while. After R left, D and I watched HBO and hit the sack. Actually, I hit the sack and only learned the next morning that he was tweeting about jerking off while I was sleeping trying not to wake me :-) Drove D to the airport on Monday morning and he was on his way. I had such a great time with him, and can't wait for him to return. He says he will, and I hope he means it.

So, there's the twelationship. Lasts 30 days, you don't actually ever touch the other person or spend time in the same physical location. You make sure to tweet constantly too and about each other. When it's over, you make sure to tweet constantly too and about each other. Or, there is the twuck buddy. You REALLY get together, and REALLY fuck. You have lots of laughs, you curl up in bed together, you talk in person in real time, and did I mention, you REALLY FUCK....A LOT. I don't know about everyone else, but I'll take my Twuck Buddy any day!!!

Who Wants to Live Forever

Today is a rough day. My Dad is in the hospital undergoing surgery to try and save at least one of his legs. He has had acute chronic heart disease for years along with diabetes and it is all taking its toll on him. The arteries and veins in his legs are so blocked, that multiple Dr's have said he will lose both legs above the knee within the next month without surgery to open the blocks. Here's the rub....the dye that they need to use during the surgery is very hard on the kidneys. He only has about 50% kidney function, so it is possible that the dye from the surgery will shut down what remaining kidney function he has, leaving him on dialysis for what's left of his rapidly fading life.

My mom called this morning, and said they had a really bad time getting the IV in and finally had to go in through his neck and that his chest x-ray showed a liter of fluid in one lung that they need to get out of him before they start the surgery. My poor mom is such a wreck. She is considerably younger than my dad (15 years younger) so she is in great health at 66. She is the one who has to take him from doctor to doctor, from test to test and surgery to surgery. Her life has become an endless waiting room. Sometimes she gets really angry and who could blame her. My dad has started to forget things. Important things, like the day after meeting with his surgeon for 90 minutes, he had forgotten he was going to have the surgery. He told my mother he didn't want any extraordinary measures, but when they filled out the forms, he had forgotten their conversation and did a 180. Mom just takes it all in stride and cares for him. She's a nurse, so in some ways, I think it's easier for her. In others, I think it's harder. She knows the risks, and the possible outcomes. She can't be blissfully unaware like others could.

I know it sounds horrible, but there is a part of me that wishes that my dad would go to sleep for the surgery and not wake up. He's suffered so much and it seems like this is just another way to prolong the suffering. My mom told me that getting old is not for wimps...I think she's right.

Today I woke up and Maine was lost to us...for now. I look at my mom and dad and wonder why the hell people want to get married so badly, why they want to tie their futures one to another and put up with all the shit my parents have had to. But then again, if not for my mom, who would have taken care of my dad. If not for her being constantly by his side, he's have died years ago. Personally, I don't want it. I've been down that road, and don't want to go there again...ever. But I can see the appeal. I have friends who have been together for many many years, and I wonder what things would be like for them if they were in my parents' situation. How would they be treated, who would make the decisions if the other couldn't? Things as simple as helping someone to the bathroom in their hospital room, would they be allowed?

And then I go back to who the fuck wants it. Let them have their marriage and their obligation and their ongoing stress. But, let's face it, we all do...want it. Who among us doesn't want to be able to love and be loved without reservation, without boundaries or limits? I guess what my parents are going through today is the meaty, visceral part of the picture. It's not the smiling faces on the ads for one side or the other of the argument, it's not the hug-ins and kiss-ins and weddings on the steps of city hall. In the end, it's the fact that we deserve the right to stand by the person we love as they crumble and fail. To wipe their bottoms, to clean up their messes, to shower them, to carry them and to carry out their wishes even till the end.

Last night, I don't know why, but I was thinking of this song. The words pretty much sum up the battle we face every day. Maine was just another loss. There will be more in the future, I'm sure, but in the end, we will prevail. Freddy really captures that here. There's no place for us, but there will be!!

Nails and Stakes and Fangs, OH MY!!

The past few days have held a lot of fun for me. I've been able to exercise my pig spirit. Tuesday after work, I got a hair across my ass and decided to hit the bookstore. I typically don't go during the weekday, but I was horny as hell and wanted to play. I got there and there wasn't much going on. I hung out in the theaters and stroked my cock, edging for about an hour. I was getting bored and decided to make a pass through the video booth section. Now, remember, these booths have glory holes that are more like glory doors. They have been cut by the mgmt and are about 20" wide by 30" tall.

I headed into one booth that was next to a booth with the door closed. When I looked through the hole there was someone sitting there facing the hole rather than the video screen. Typically that means the person wants to work on a cock. I went and stood in front of the hole and let my cock fall out of my shorts. I stroked for a while and the seated figure didn't respond. Then I noticed something interesting. His hands were folded, and I couldn't see any of the fingers except for one. On that finger was a very pretty long manicured and painted nail. I reached in and stroked the nail and then the hands came apart to reveal a full set of very nice, likely expensive nails all beautifully manicured and painted to perfection. Once I started to rub one finger, the wall fell down and both hands were all over my cock and balls with those fancy nails. He tickled behind my balls with the nails, and I grabbed his hand and had him put them to more "firm" use on my cock and balls. The next thing I knew, his very soft mouth engulfed my dripping cock and he blew me while his nails pinched and poked all over my crotch.

When I was getting close, I bent down to ask a question and I saw a beautiful man with a shaved head, smooth face and virtually no eyebrows. His complexion was pale and his eyes were stunning. I was having a very hot encounter with a hot transexual. I asked my question. "Can I cum all over your nails and then eat it off?" He smiled the sweetest smile and said, "Sure honey, that would be fine". So, after a few stokes, I was cumming all over his outstretched fingers and hands. When I was done, I bent down and he offered his hands to me and I licked the cum off of every one, making sure every nail was clean. Then I left and headed home.

Yesterday I knew was gonna be a good day. I had a JO session planned with one of the guys from Tampa Bates and my Fleshjack Count Cockula was scheduled to arrive via UPS. My bate buddy had contacted me a few days earlier and asked if I wanted to do some one on one stroking. Of course, I was interested. The plan was after work, I'd head to his house for a jack off session and then I'd head home and use my Count Cockula.

I got to his house right on time, and we proceeded to get naked. He has a huge cock and I had a blast stroking it for him and rubbing his hole firmly while he played with his nipples. He was really into it and it wasn't long before he shot a nice creamy load. We sat and talked for a while about Tampa Bates and then I headed off. Well, he lives just on the other side of downtown Tampa and I was leaving his place at 5:30. I realized that I could either sit in traffic for an extra 45 min on the way home, or I could stop at the bookstore for that 45 min until the traffic was eased. Guess which one I chose?

There were a few hot guys at the bookstore, but it was actually pretty quiet for after work. I hung out in the theaters and stroked for about a half hour. I went to the video booths to see if there was anything going on. In the same booth as the day before, sat a guy facing the glory hole. He did not have fancy nails :-) but he did motion for me to give him my cock. I dropped my pants. I had my thick leather cock ring strapped on, so my cock was still hard from the theater strokes. The minute I eased up to the hole, this guy went nuts on my cock and balls. He started licking and chewing on my tight ball sack. He jerked my cock hard and then put it in his mouth.

Now, if you have a PA or other cock jewelry, you might get this next part. If not, you might get it too, but not in the same way. Now, sometimes there are people who suck your cock with your jewelry in, and you wouldn't even notice it was there. They are really good at handling it as part of your dick and not getting it all twisted and tweaked. Then there are those who are so bad at it, that it actually is too painful to let them continue. They seem to focus all their crappy cocksucking ability on your PA and their teeth get into the the way and you're getting scraped and scratched and not in a good way. Then there is the third group. At first, they seem like the second group. Their first few bobs on the cock, you sort of make a funny face and are almost ready to pull back, but then they do something wild. Typically, they are doing something that is right on the edge of pure pain and pure pleasure, but they know they are doing it and they are doing it quite well. This guys was like that. At first I was thinking, he's not that good, but in a few strokes, I was writhing all over the place, moaning loudly and my breathing was fast and furious. The almost pain was exquisite, and when I finally came, it was one of those orgasms that wipes you out to the point where you can't stand. I had to sit down and compose myself before I could even pull up my shorts. He gave me a thumbs up through the hole and I laughed.

When I left, I had missed all the traffic and made it home quickly. I got in and headed to the bathroom to soak my Fleshjack Count Cockula in some hot water. I got the lube and poppers ready and slipped in some good porn. I wasn't sure how good this session would be considering the wild blow job I had just received, but I'd been looking forward to this all day, so I was gonna try. When things were sufficiently soaked, I lubed up and slipped in. It was interesting watching my cock get "bitten" by the fanged mouth. The new Fang texture inside was awesome. It was like hundreds of soft tiny teeth massaging your cock. It took me a while to warm up, but once I did, I was loving it.

With the Fleshjacks, I find that at first it feels good, then after a period of use, it starts to feel great. It's sort of like when you jerk off. You know how it feels good at first, but there is a point when the pre-cum is flowing and your body is wound up when it suddenly starts to feel different and way better. This is how it is with the Fleshjack. All of a sudden, things go into overdrive and then I can start edging and really getting into it. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes, sometimes 20, but all of a sudden, I can feel every bump and ridge in the texture. I can move the Fleshjack a millimeter and feel each fang drag across my cock. Well, once I hit that spot, I just edged for a while until I finally pumped a load deep into Count Cockula's throat. It was really intense. As I came, it felt like each of the fangs was pressing into my cock. I just lay there for a while and let my cock go soft. When I flopped out of the fangs, I lifted the case and my cum dripped out of the very hot fanged mouth all over my cock. I was in heaven....or was it hell? After a while I had the energy to clean up. After a nice long hot shower, I hit the sack and slept like I was dead...or undead....mwuahahahahaha mwuahahahahaha :-)

TampaBates - My new Jack Off Club

For a while now, I've wanted to start a Jack Off club in the Tampa Bay area. When I lived in San Francisco, I used to go to San Francisco Jacks and always had a good time. I've been to Jack Off clubs in other cities as well. I'm a huge fan of jacking off and like to do it as often as possible. Someone on Twitter posted about BateWorld.com and I checked it out. Really good site if you like to stroke your cock. The guys are friendly and there is lots of posting or pics, vids, etc.

There are many different groups on the site that you can sign up for. Popper Baters, Fleshlight Baters, Stuffing Baters, Jockstrap Baters, etc etc. I signed up for a bunch and posted some of my vids and pics to them. Lots of fun. I also hooked up with guys to jerk off via Yahoo web cam. Good times. Anyhow, I decided to to start a Tampa group and some guys signed up. Then I decided to take it one step further and set up a separate web site for the Tampa Jack Off Group. I called it Tampa Bates (a little play on Tampa Bay).

I set up the website, TampaBates.com and started posting on Craigslist to get people to sign up. The premise is simple. The group is an ongoing one, and parties will be held every 2-3 weeks. People only need to sign up once and then they will get the invite to all future parties. There is no cost to sign up or for the parties. Let me tell you this shit is work!!! I've received well over 100 emails from the Craigslist ads. I responded to each of them and directed them where to sign up. Some people had follow up questions, so those had to be answered, then once people signed up, I sent a welcome.thanks email with the first party details. Some didn't realize they were going to be added to an ongoing list and wanted to be removed, some couldn't make it but want to come to future parties....well, you get the idea.

This whole thing started on Wed. By Thurs, I had already scheduled the first party for Saturday. Clearly, it was moving very fast. On Saturday, I still had people wanting to join. By Saturday afternoon, we had about 30 people on the group list with about 20 who confirmed they were coming to the party. I was stoked and headed off to set up the party space. I had a cooler filled with ice and soda/water. There were chips to snack on, and there were lube and hand towels. As the afternoon wore on people started to cancel. First one, then two more, then another. I was getting a bit discouraged. The door time was 7-8pm. Everyone needed to arrive during that time. Clearly, you don't want to have to keep answering the door all night, so you set a specific time. 7pm came and went, nobody showed. 7:30 came and still nobody. I was getting really bummed. I was messaging with my buddy, Digger and was really bummed. He tried to get to me to cheer up, but that was not gonna happen. I was sort of short with him, which was just stupid.

As I was waiting, I checked Craigslist. A few guys had posted earlier that they were coming to the party and to get in touch with me. I was looking to see if there were any other ads. Then I clicked on an ad and saw the photo of the same guy who had cancelled an hour ago saying he had family stuff to attend to. Apparently "family stuff" consisted of getting fucked repeatedly by big hard cocks, at least according to his ad :-) Oh well, what you gonna do. It was about 7:40 and a knock came to the door. I answered in my first guest had arrived. He told me he saw some guys hanging outside who were probably shy about coming in. Sure enough, the knocks kept coming at the door. Sometimes, I would just get the door closed and another would come. All in all, there were 10 of us. Not a huge turn out, but much better than I had hoped.

When 8pm came, I locked the door and told everyone to get ready to stroke. One of the rules of the group is that if you are gonna stay you have to be naked at least from the waist down. I know that some guys are shy or have issues with their body, so there is no sense in making them uncomfortable by telling them they need to be completely naked, but if they are gonna stay the pants need to go. There is nothing worse than being at any kind of sex party and having someone sitting there fully clothed, sipping a soda and munching chips, STARING at you while you try to get busy. I'm sort of an asshole when it comes to that and will normally find a way for my naked ass to end up knocking over their soda or cumming on their chips. But, I was hosting this one, so there would be nobody sitting around fully clothed.

Well, everyone stripped really fast and found their spots. Guys were stroking themselves and others in record time. I had brought a new jar of Albolene with me, and it appeared to be a crowd favorite. I was aghast that some guys had never heard of or used Albolene to JO before. It is the lube of the gods, and one in any true masturbator's inventory. I even have made my own in the past as the shit is expensive...but I digress (Albolene recipe at end of post).

So pretty much everyone was stroking everyone else. There were white guys, black guys, short/fat guys (me), tall skinny guys, smooth guys, hairy guys, all with one thing in common, hard cocks that were being stroked.

I made my way over to this really hot Bear couple. One of the guys had a HUGE uncut cock and I grabbed it. We slathered on some Albolene and we were off. I stroked him with one hand while I played with his nipples with the other. He was very receptive. He was stroking my cock at the same time and it was feeling good. Some of the guys were in groups of 2 or 3 or even 4. The whole thing was very organic. A group would form and then one would break off and start stroking another and another group would form. I love organic shit like that!!! There was a really hot black guy with beautiful tatts and a really nice cock. I went over and sat next to him and stroked him for a while while he stroked another guy. Then I felt a hand on my cock and another guy had joined us. This when on for what seemed like forever but was probably about 30 minutes.

I was sitting next to the black guy and he asked what time it was. I told him and he said he needed to go and pick up his daughter, he had promised his wife (FUCKING HOT!!!) He asked where to point his load and a number if guys wanted it on them. He opted for his hand, but I got mine in there to get about half of it, which I then wiped all over my cock. I went back to my bear buddy and started stroking his cock with my cum lubed hand. He was really getting into it, and I reached down with my other hand to rub his hole with my finger. He nodded and let out a deep breath. I leaned over and licked on his nipples while one hand stroked his cock and another teased his asshole. Before long he was shooting. Then his partner went. It was like dominoes, one guy after another dropped a load. Some into a towel, others onto their buddy's belly or chest. Pretty soon everyone had dropped a load except one last guy. A few guys helped him out, but it just wasn't happening. Others got dressed and left and he stayed behind with me. We stroked each other for a while but he wasn't getting there. He cleaned up and headed out, but was thrilled as jerking off with a group had been his fantasy for many years, so even though he didn't pop, he was one happy camper.

I cleaned everything up and headed for home. I'm now working on ways to grow the group. Ads on Craigslist are ok, but they are time consuming to answer and deal with all the flakes. There are guys in Orlando who have a group, Orlando Wankers, that have been doing it for a long time, so I'm gonna talk to them about how they built their group.

I've already scheduled the next party and can't wait to see how things go. I'm hoping each one will get a little be better than the next!!!

Homemade Albolene Recipe:

You'll need:

16 oz. bottle mineral oil (check the laxatives aisle)

3.75 oz tub petroleum jelly

Paraffin (Gulf Wax is sold in boxes in the canning section of supermarket or Wal-Mart)

[Variations: Baby Oil is just mineral oil with added fragrance, and Vick's Vaporub is just petroleum jelly with stuff like menthol and oil of wintergreen thrown in, so you can substitute either of those to give the "Albolene" a nice scent.]

* Measure out 10 oz. (1-1/4 cup) mineral oil and pour into old saucepan.

* Add about half the tub of petroleum jelly.

* Use a hand grater to grate 1/4 cup of wax (paraffin) (pack the grated wax into the measuring cup as you would do for brown sugar).

* Warm the oil/jelly mixture over low heat. When jelly has melted into the oil, slowly stir in the grated wax and let that melt completely.

* Remove from heat, let liquid come down to near room temperature, and then pour into empty Albolene tub or Tupperware container to cool and solidify. It will end up looking quite a bit like Vaseline, but the mineral oil and wax give the mixture its own distinctive feel.

* Optional steps: If you want to guarantee the closest possible match in texture to the "real thing," have some extra grated wax ready and chill a ceramic or glass plate in the freezer as you're heating the mixture.

* Then use a spoon to drop a small amount of the melted mixture onto the chilled plate, which will cause it to solidify in seconds.

* Check the texture with your fingers to see if it feels "just right," and if not, melt in a little more of the grated paraffin.

* Use very hot water and plenty of dish soap to clean the grease off the saucepan and measuring cup!

* After the homemade Albolene has thoroughly cooled and solidified, grab your favorite porn, whip your dick out, and really put the stuff to the test!

Bear Bust 2009 Part 3- I pissed on (and in) a Bear!!!

Saturday morning came fast. I was wiped from all the fun on Friday and slept well at the hotel. The rooms were comfortable and so were the beds! Well, Saturday morning was cool. And my cool, I'd guess mid to upper 40's. For FL, that's cool :-) Got my coffee and sat out in the courtyard area and watched. I really like to watch. There is so much you can find out, just by watching. People fascinate me, anyway, so I always like to watch when I get the chance.

Well, as I'm sitting there, I'm messenging with my buddy, Digger, and my BlackBerry gets really sluggish. So, I reboot it and it comes up frozen. Try again, nothing, pull the battery, nothing. Typically, I would have just used it to find the closest Verizon store and go in, but I couldn't, so I had to go to my room and check my laptop and then....gasp...write down directions to the closest store. Oh the horror!! Luckily, it wasn't far away and I was back and ready to go before most of the bears had finished their second helping at breakfast.

I saw this one really cute cub that I had had my eye on all weekend. Typically, he was with a big group, but today he was alone. I headed over and struck up a convo. One thing led to another and before he knew it, he was back in my room, naked on the bed. This one was a real nasty pig cub. He liked it all. Before long, we were in the piss pool, and I was drenching him with the piss from my morning coffee. He drank from the tap, which is a big turn on for me, and then turned around and asked me to fill him up. Well, I had by coffee, but had not been drinking lots of fluids all do, so I told him that would have to be later, if he wanted. He was very receptive to that.

I let him suck my cock for a while and decided to save the fucking for later. His mouth was hot and he was doing a good job, so eventually, I just blew a load down his throat. He swallowed every drop and had a big smile on his face. We made arrangements to hook up later for a more in depth session.

I cleaned up the piss pool and headed back out to the real pool. I lounged around the Lazy River, but the breeze was really cool, so I headed over to the regular pool, which was heated and warmer and hung out there for a while. When I got out of there, the breeze was making me so cold, I headed back to my room and dried off and changed into some dry clothes. As I was heading out, I stopped at the balcony to watch the guys below. A guy stopped next to me and we started talking. He was drinking a Grey Goose and Hawaiian Punch blend. Truly RedNeck!! We chatted for a few minutes and I asked if he wanted to go back to my room to fuck. He was all for it, so we went back and got naked. This was a big bear, smooth with a nice very curved cock. We sucked each other's cocks for a while and then I spun him around, spit on my cock and shoved it in his hole. He was tight, and felt soooo good. I fucked him for a while and then turned him over on his back. I fucked his hole while I sucked on his toes and feet. Wasn't long before I felt the tickle and told him I was gonna blow soon. He told me to breed him, and so I did. Played with his cock a little more and he shot a nice load, which I slobbered up and then shared with him via out mouths.

I was pretty tired after that last session, so I sent him on his way and eventually, took a little bear nap. It was just what I needed to get ready for the evening. When I awoke, I filled my big water bottle with water and started to drink...A LOT...I had plans for the last night there. I put on my Recycle Here t-shirt and a pair of jeans (it was really cold out) and headed out to find my piss cub from earlier. As I was headed there, a few guys commented on my shirt. I stopped to talk to them and told them we were gonna be playing and pissing in my room soon. They were all for it. When I found my bud from earlier, he was standing there with two really hot bear cubs. He said his friends wanted to join in, if that was OK. Silly boy, of course they can join in :-)

Back at my room, there were the two I met on the way down, plus my piss cub and his two cub buds. We all got naked and some of us got in the pool. By this time, I was bloated like a beach ball from all the water in me, and had needed to piss for the past 30 minutes. My piss cub and BOTH of his buds got down on their knees in front of me, and I proceeded to cover them with a steady stream of hot piss. Suddenly, there was another stream from beside me and one of the other guys had joined in the fun. Soon enough and some of the cubs started to piss all over themselves and each other. It wasn't long before we all were covered and dripping. We all jumped into the shower for a quick rinse and then the sucking and fucking commenced. I fucked all three of the cubs one after the other. The other two guys fucked or were fucked by one or another of the cubs. As guys needed to piss, they would just let the group know and one or more would join them in the piss pool. It was so fucking hot.

Guys were cumming and pissing all over. I had been holding back my piss for a while and finally I slid into my piss cub from earlier in the day. After I fucked him for a while, I let go with steady stream that filled his ass. He was moaning and begging me for more, and I gave it to him. I kept fucking and I could tell my piss was making him uncomfortable as I kept fucking. Finally, I couldn't hold back and I blew my load in his hole with my piss. It was so hot. He was laying on his back and as I reached over to grab his cock, he started to shoot without me even touching it. He was a keeper.

We all played some more, as different guys came. It was getting late when we finally cleaned up and called it a day. Everyone left the room with big smiles.

I was wiped out and was in bed fairly early. Slept like a log. When I woke on Sunday, it was even cooler than it had been the day before. I got everything packed and headed down for some coffee. It was a ghost town. Apparently all the bears were still hibernating due to the cold weather. There was a brunch scheduled for 11:30, but it was only 9:30 and I didn't feel like sitting around for 2 hours for some free food. I packed the car and headed home. I was so horned up on the way home, thinking about all the good times, that I stopped at my favorite Adult Bookstore and dropped my load in some willing mouth in the gloryhole. I was home by 11:30, and had my own private brunch before I had my Sunday nap.

It was a great time at Bear Bust. I already reserved my room for next year. This time, I'm gonna pay the extra $$ for a room facing the waterpark rather than the parking lot. It will be easier to pick out my victims that way......

And now a word from our reality check....I'm "in love"

OK, I'm not really in love. I just need to talk about this, cuz it really has me in a fit. I tweet....a lot...some of you know me from Twitter, some don't. Anyhow, I am constantly amazed at how many people fall "in love" on Twitter. I'm not talking about people who get to know each other and then date and spend time together; I'm talking about people who tweet back and forth...140 fucking characters at a time....and send a few emails and a few phone calls and suddenly they are "in love". One recent couple comes to mind. One of the guys has been through 3 or 4 "loves" in the past 3 or 4 months. The other broke up with his last Twitter lover, and went into a pit of despair that almost dragged the entire continent down with it. "My life sucks, I hate my life, I'm wasted and don't care about anyone or anything and oh yeah, ps, my life sucks." But after a short time, not only are they "in love", they are actually talking about marriage...WTF?????

Funny thing about both these guys is that when they are not with their "Twoves" they are all chatty and friendly, and I do mean friendly. Both have sent me pics of their cocks and their asses and other assorted naked parts. One of them spent a good deal of time talking to me via text and we got into detail about everything I was gonna do to him and he told me how much he wanted it. To put it bluntly, he is a little fucking pig :-) Of course, we would never work out, as he has this weird idea about monogamy, and I'll never go down that road again. But it was fun talking with him and talking dirty with him. Of course, I was usually watching porn or cooking dinner or brushing the dogs. Let's face it, it's cyberland, not the real world. But, he was a cute kid and seemed to need to be cheered up. Of course, he still lived with his parents and has no job, and I'm a 43 year old professional with a mortgage and car payment and 401k. I could see visiting him and meeting his parents, both the age of my younger sister.....oh god. We could cuddle in their basement and it wouldn't be too awkward when his mom came down to put the laundry in the dryer. So you get the idea, fun to talk, but not "love". Then over night, he was "in love" and I never heard a word from him, in private at least. Won't hear from him again, until the two "Twovers" break up, and suddenly the dirty talk and naked pics will flow again.

These two and many like them know nothing of being "in love". Being in love is paying the bills and figuring out what's for dinner and going to their parents' house even though their parents refer to you as "him". Being in love is sharing a closet even though, let's face it, you have a greater need for a bigger wardrobe than they do. Being in love is sitting in silence and not caring if either one of you ever says another word. Being in love is knowing every inch of the other's body by touch, taste and smell, not because you've seen some photos, but because you have been in each other's presence....being present to each other, that's a big one. Being in love is cleaning up shit and piss and blood and puke as the person you love disintegrates before your very eyes from a disease no one can cure. Being in love is holding them as they take their last breath, and then waiting to be sure it is their last breath before you fall apart, part of you secretly relieved and part of you hating you for being secretly relieved. Being in love is carrying their clothes home from the hospital, smelling their scent and knowing you will never smell that scent again. Being in love is getting the ashes back and wondering at how they could fit that big guy in that small urn. Being in love is carrying that same disease and wishing every day for the rest of your life that you could have traded places with them and given them back their life.

"My twitter bf broke up with me, my life is over" ... well Boo Fucking Hoo....welcome to the real world, Nancy!! And here's the kicker, they are completely oblivious to the farce this has become. Person after person will discuss it privately about how it is really a big joke. And they have no idea. For many, the only real thing is that there will be 2x the despair and angst to read about when this particular "twove" fails.

Anyhow, that is all. Back to our regularly scheduled pig talk!!!

In the way of full disclosure, I have to say that I know two other guys who met on Twitter and are actually really in love...but here's the kicker, they actually got to know each other IRL as they say, before realizing they had something real. I'm happy to say, they are actually moving toward moving in together very soon.

Bear Bust 2009 Part 2 - (I bred a bear)

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Bear Bust 2009 - I fucked a bear...well a lot of bears!! (Part 1)

I'd been looking forward to Bear Bust for a few months. I signed up at the beginning of August and reserved my room at the host hotel. Finally on Thursday, the time had come. I wrapped things up at work by lunch and headed over to the hotel, about an hour away. I realized as I drove that I forgot my board shorts for the pool, so I stopped along the way for a pair. I got to the hotel, the Clarion Waterpark Hotel at about 2:00 pm. The signs of bear were already well established. I checked in and was told that there were no more King rooms available, so I was given a room with 2 queens. Even better, one bed to fuck, one to sleep!! There were bears already loitering around the lobby and cruising was obvious. I headed to my room to unload the car and then came back to register.

At registration, we were given a run photo badge to wear as well as wrist bands to get into the waterpark. I asked them if it was OK to wear the wrist bands as cock rings. The first guy was not amused. He was pretty much a bitchy queen who was complaining about all kinds of shit. The next guy, however was cute and asked me to show him. So, out came the cock and balls. He gave it a little fondle and the weekend had officially begun.

I headed out by the pool and waterpark. The place is pretty nice. There are some waterslides and a the Lazy River, which is pretty much a moat around the waterpark about 2.5 feet deep. There are big floats which you can lay on, and the lazy river winds you around. Very relaxing. Within the first hour I was there, I saw a really hot little bear. We struck up a conversation and, well, I'm a little shy, so it took about 5 minutes to say, "we should really go fuck". He agreed and we went back to my room.

In the room, we ripped of our clothes and fell on the bed pawing at each other. He dropped down and slid my cock into his mouth. He was good, really good. After a while, I pulled him up and flipped him over and started eating his ass. It tasted sweet and salty. He had a really hairy ass, which was turning me on. I spit on my cock and went to slide it in his ass. He told me to stop and then reached over for the poppers. He took a deep draw and then I pushed in. I was so horned up in anticipation of the weekend, that it didn't take long to blow my load in his hole. He let out a moan and then started to shoot himself. I pulled out and ate his ass for a minute and then ate up all the cum off his cock. Our mouths met and we swapped cum back and forth. Then I kicked him out.

I headed down and grabbed a float and floated around the Lazy River. There were guys all around, lots of hot guys, and I knew it was gonna be a great weekend. After about an hour of floating, I headed back to the room to change into dry clothes. I went and sat out on the big common area outside of the pool and waterpark and messaged with my buddy Digger. By now, it was getting dark, and guys were milling around. I was freeballing the whole weekend and find it difficult to keep my hands off my cock. I'm always absentmindedly fondling it through my shorts. A very tasty couple stopped by and asked if I needed any help. Of course I needed some help.

We got back to their room, and I found out that they were both bottoms. Well, one was versatile, but I guess that was only if they met another bottom. After some initial sucking, triangle style, I bent them both over the bed. I slid into one while they kissed. Pounded out a few strokes and then slid into the other. I kept this up for a while until I couldn't take any more. I pulled out and came a bit on each of their holes and then I pushed it in with my cock. Finally, I ate each of their holes. We all lay on the bed swapping spit and cum and then I got up and left. They were still stroking each other as I walked out.

I headed back to the central area and hung out for a while. They had a DJ playing music all day and up to 1am. Nobody was dancing....well, except for me. I realized earlier in the day, that I should have got a Men4Bareback.com t-shirt at the party the weekend before to wear at Bear Bust. I mentioned it to my buddy from M4BB.com and he offered to drive one down to the hotel for me. I didn't want him to go through the trouble, but he didn't mind, so he showed up with a great Bareback University tank top for me. I knew it would either attract or repel, but I am who I am, so I never really care either way :-) After he left, I headed back into the music and talked with a few guys. One asked me if I liked to fuck....ah yeah I do! We went back to my room and I fucked him hard and fast. I was pretty much spent from the earlier fuckings, so I didn't cum. I did fuck him until he shot his load all over his belly. I licked it up and shared it with him. We lay on the bed for a while, both wiped out. I finally kicked him out and cleaned up. I was bone tired so I hit the sack, with dreams of bears dancing through my head. Digger kept telling me to pace myself, as I still had Fri-Sun left to go. He was soooo right!!

Weekend weary

Wow, what an awesome weekend. I am spent and tired and drained and satisfied all at the same time. The weekend started for me on Friday evening. I had been reading all of the nasty tweets on twitter and was horned up and ready by the time Friday evening rolled around. It was about 5:30 when I hit the bookstore. It was busy for a Friday evening. Lots of guys out of work and trying to get off before they go home to their wives and their loveless marriages :-) I was in the big theater stroking my hard cock in the dark glow of the bad porn when a guy came in and sat right next to me. He reached over and took my cock in had hand and stroked me. He had good technique and knew how to handle a dick with some big jewelry. I let him work on me for about 15 minutes and then headed to the "alternative" theater. There were a few guys in there when I arrived and I could tell that I had interrupted something. I told them to "carry on" and sat down and pulled out my dick. There was a cute beefy little guy across from me and when he saw my cock and my jewelry, his eyes lit up. He dropped his shorts and turned his back to me and bent over. Not being one to ignore an invitation, I stood up, dropped a little lube on my cock and dribble some on his hole and shoved it in hard and fast. He gasped and then proceeded to ride my cock like it was his last. He was jerking his sizable piece when, between gasps, he told me he was gonna shoot. There is nothing that sends me over the edge faster than when a guy comes with my cock in his ass. I told him I was gonna blow too. As I started to feel his ass tighten and he started to groan, my cock responded and started to convulse. We both came hard at the same time. I pulled out, grabbed some paper towels and headed to the bathroom for a quick refresher.

I spent some time in the booths. There was a guy back there who was a pro at sucking my rod. After a while I motioned for him to slide his through the hole and he stood up to reveal a pair of red satin panties. I chewed on his cock through the panties and then he turned around. I pulled the panties to the side and started to eat his ass. It was salty, with a mild sweaty musk. I was stroking my cock and then stood up and drove it right into his pantie clad hole. He was a loud one, banging the wall and grunting. The more noise he made, the harder I drove. After a while, I got bored and pulled out. As I left the booth, his red pantied ass was still hanging through the hole.

I went back to the straight theaters in the back and there was the little beefy guy looking for more. I followed him into one of the rooms and asked if I could fuck him again. The question was not even off my lips when he had his pants down around his ankles and was bent over a bench. There was no need to lube up this time, as he was dripping and so was I. I rode him hard and fast again and again, he started to cum while I was reached around pulling on his uncut meat. That got me going and I blew my load deep in his ass. This time, I dropped to my knees behind him and buried my tongue in his ass. My cum started to work its way out and into my mouth. My mouth and my goatee were covered in my cum and spit and lube. I stood up and asked if he wanted to share but he said no way. Oh well, his loss. I zipped up and headed to the bathroom for a final rinse before I headed home.

Saturday was the Men4Bareback.com monthly Bareback Party. I love these parties. Arnie and Larry are the best hosts ever, and the crowd is always fun. There is no attitude, and lots of sex. I arrived with my Buffalo Chicken Dip and said my hellos. Then I stripped, grabbed a towel and was ready to go. I went into the back and there were some guys already going at it. I joined in and we had some fun. After a while 2 of the guys drifted off and left me with one other guy. He jumped on the bed and bent over. I slid my cock in and fucked him until I unloaded into his ass. I dropped down and ate his ass and tasted my cum for a while. We both smiled as we headed out to the kitchen for a snack. A while later and I found myself in the sling room. My buddy John was in the sling and there was a hot bear guy (one of the ones I was playing with earlier) fucking him. I stroked John's cock while the bear fucked. There was a guy waiting who was bedazzled like I used to be. He had a huge PA, a full frenum ladder, and a lot of scrotum piercings with big jewelry. I watched as he slowly worked his pierced throbbing meat into John's hungry hole. I let them do their thing and headed to the back bedroom.

There was a group of about 7 or 8 back there, so I joined in the fun. There was a hot bear cub visiting from Maryland and we started to play. Before I knew it, I was buried to the hilt in his ass and riding along. I fucked him for quite a while and then dropped my second load of the night into his ass. Once again, I bent down to taste my cum from his ass, heaven!! There was lots of other play, lots of sucking and stroking and some more fucking. Toward the end of the evening, I got the hot little bear cub from out of town in the master bedroom and fucked him again. I dropped my 4th and final load of the night into his ass. Then I slurped as much as I could from his ass. I offered to share, but he declined. That's OK, more for me :-) After a while I got dressed and headed out. I had a 90 minute drive ahead and knew that Sunday I was meeting my piss pig for some fun.

I was still horny as I drove home from the party. One of the guys had gifted me with some new bareback porn. I couldn't wait to check it out. When I got home, I went to bed, but was so horned up, I couldn't sleep. I put in the porn and started to jerk off. The next thing I knew it was 3am and I was shooting a huge load all over myself. I scooped up what I could and sucked it off my hand and fingers, then I took a quick shower and hit the sack.

Sunday was my day to play with my triathlete piss pig. We've been getting together every 2 or 3 weeks since we met. He has a boyfriend and I don't want one, so it is a perfect arrangement. He had run a race on Sunday morning and was not recovering really well. When he showed up, I could tell he was not his normal piggy self. No worries, we cuddled on the bed for a while and then started to sucked each other off. I ate his sweet ass while he groaned. I finally pulled out a Fleshjack which he had wanted to try. While he stroked his cock with it, he sucked my cock as I knelt beside him on the bed. I had the video camera and filmed the whole thing. After a while, while I fingered his ass, he came in the Fleshjack. I filmed as he poured his cum out all over his cock and then I slurped it up. I could tell he was whipped, and he kept apologizing. I told him to sit back and relax as I massaged his feet while he purred on the bed. He had dinner plans, so he got dressed and left. I took the used Fleshjack that he had cum in, and started fucking it. It was slick and gooey inside as I fucked it, finally adding my load to the remnants of his load. I poured all the slick cum out of the Fleshjack and into my mouth. What a perfect way to end the weekend!!

Yet another Fleshlight post

The other day, I got my newest Fleshlight in the mail, the Tegan Presley Lotus Fleshlight. The Tegan Presley is one in a series of Fleshlights that is modeled after actual porn star pussy. I'm guessing that they do a casting of the pussy and then make a mold for the Fleshlight. The STR8 boys go gaga over these, apparently they think they are somehow fucking the real thing, and have some weird fantasies that these porn startlets would ever even give them a second look.

Now, let's get something straight (pardon the pun). I have fucked pussy before, and here's a shocker, I liked it....a lot!! I even found a local couple that are POZ and so I get to BB with wifey and hubby. Up until about 8 years ago, I'd never been with a woman, but I watch a lot of str8 porn and had always fantasized about being with a woman. The bottom line is that my cock likes pussy and I like to eat pussy, but I don't want to have anything to do with a woman from a romantic/relationship standpoint. If I'm gonna cuddle with someone, it's gonna be a hot man.

If you go to the Fleshlight/Fleshjack forums, you'll see a number of the gay boys who are completely turned off by having a pussy on their toys, even if it is the replica of a famous porn starlet. I laugh when some of them say they won't even put their dick in a fake pussy....geez, it's some fake silicone/rubber like tube you stick your cock in, once the cock is in, I'm pretty sure nobody could tell the difference. But, I digress.......

The Fleshlight Girls, as they are known, have a special texture all their own, called the Lotus texture. It is supposed to be the closest thing to a real pussy on the inside of anything out there. Speaking from experience, I have to say that this is not false advertising. This thing feels INCREDIBLE!!! If you've fucked a pussy, you know that once you get in the opening, things are not at tight as an ass or even a mouth can be. But there is something subtle about fucking a pussy that you just don't get in an assshole or a mouth. It's hard to put my finger on it, but my cock is caressed more gently, almost tickled. There is lots of discussion on the forums about the Lotus texture and how it is not for everyone. For one thing, it is pretty much smooth for the first 5.5 inches or so. After that, things get interesting, there are nodes and ridges. If you are less than 6 inches, the Lotus is probably not worth the extra money as you won't really feel the texture at all. If however, you are a little over 7", like me, you will be amazed. The things that this unit does to your cockhead cannot be described in writing. Let's just say, it will rock your cock.

Of all the Fleshligh/Fleshjack's I own (up to 11 of them now.... I know it's a sickness!!), the Lotus is by far my favorite. The link below will take you to the Fleshlight Girls site where you can get your own porn starlet to poke. Below that are a few clips of me fucking my new pussy :-)

Missing Chief

Six months ago today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to my 3 year old pup, Chief. I had rescued Chief from the pound 2 years earlier and he was the love of my life. Chief was a big dog, and sort of awkward, like a teenager. He was so sweet to me, and spent many nights with me curled up sleeping on the bed. In fact, I really think he believed the bed was his and I was just a guest, that typically didn't get more than a few inches of space most nights :-)

In the morning of March 30, I was getting ready for work when out of nowhere, Chief attacked 99, my oldest dog. 99 was also rescued from a parking lot behind a convenience store. I've had her for almost 11 years. Chief had never shown any signs of aggression toward 99, although he did not get along with my other dog, Max. About 6 months after I brought Chief home, he went after Max and caused $1200 of emergency vet damage. From that day on, I had to keep Max and Chief separated. Chief and 99 had been buddies, however. They played together all the time. It was a complete shock when Chief attacked 99. He grabbed onto her neck and would not let go. He was tossing her around like a rag doll. At almost 90 lbs, he was twice the size of 99 at 45 lbs. I screamed, I beat on him with a broom, I pulled on him, I got bit myself (yeah I know you are not supposed to get in the middle, but when your baby is being torn apart, thinking goes out the window).

After what seemed like hours, but was more like 10 minutes, They were separate. I got Chief into a back room and assessed the damage on 99. There was blood all over the house. There was blood on the rugs, on the walls, on the furniture. 99 was curled up hiding behind the recliner barely breathing and still bleeding. I rushed her to the Vet and they took her in right away. The news was not good. She was bleeding internally and had lost a ton of blood. They didn't know if she was going to make it. I was devastated. Chief had already done something very similar to Max, and now 99. I knew that he could not stay in the house any longer. I talked with the vet and they agreed that it would be hard to get any of the rescues to take Chief due to his aggressive acts. Also, we knew if I brought him to animal control, they would euthanize him. I could not in good conscience give him to anyone with pets or children, and to be honest, for the first time I was actually afraid for my own safety.

I went home while we waited to see if 99 was going to pull through. Chief knew something was wrong and he came and sat in front of my with his bloody paw on my knee. There was dried blood all over his face. I cried. I cried like I hadn't cried in a long time. After about an hour, I got up and put on Chief's leash and took him to the vet. They knew why we were there. They took us into the room and gave Chief a sedative to help him settle. I really wanted them to give me one. After a while, the vet came in and I sat on the floor feeding treats to Chief. He was a treat hound and would eat them all day long if given the chance. His tail was wagging and he was eating treats. They injected him and after about 20 seconds he ate his last treat and his tail stopped wagging. Just before his eyes closed I whispered "we'll be together again" in his ear. I was devastated. They let me sit with him as long as I wanted. His body was limp, it was clear he was gone.

I got up and went out front and asked to see 99. She was still in critical condition and when I went back to see her, she cried and put her head in my hand. The vet said it was just a waiting game at that point. So I waited. I went home and poor Max didn't know what was up. He had been sequestered in the master bedroom when everything happened. He must have heard all the commotion and then heard me rush out. He could see me leaving with 99 and then with Chief out the bedroom window. Then I came back each time alone. He must have been freaking. He sat on my feet and put his head on my knee as I cried. It was good to have him close.

In the end, 99 survived, although not without a long and difficult recovery. Chief was cremated and I have his ashes on a shelf in the living room. He gets to keep an eye on everything. Max and 99 are good and healthy and loving. They both sleep on the bed with me every night. Last night, I heard a big sigh and looked over. 99 was laying with her head on the pillow stretched out. She looked over at me and licked my nose and then sighed and went back to sleep. Max was curled up at the foot of the bed and rubbed his head on my feet. Things have gotten back to normal now and I'm happy for that. I still miss Chief, though. He loved me so much and made me laugh so much. In the end, though I've learned to live with my decision. I'll always wish it could have been different, but it is done, and life has gone on.

Six months later and I still catch myself looking for Chief every now and then. Somewhere, he's playing and running and happy. I firmly believe that.

Mixed bag of emotions...

Today, I read that trials of a new HIV vaccine have proven to be quite promising. Some are saying that this is the start of a beginning. Some are suggesting that this promising news will lead us to more discoveries sooner that will see a real, highly successful vaccine to HIV. I'm not sure why, but this news has hit me hard and my emotions are mixed. It appears that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel in the fight against new infections of HIV/AIDS. It looks at there is some hope for the future that others will be able to be vaccinated against this disease. For that hope, I am grateful. I want my niece and nephew to come of age where they don't have to think about contracting HIV, where a vaccination can protect them in the same way it protected me from measles and mumps.

It seems, however, with all this hope, I am overcome by a sense of loss. I don't feel it this way often, but today it is heavy in my heart. I can't help but think of all those who have died, who have fought the often tedious, always hard fight against this disease. I think about Tom, how I loved that man. How he fought. I think about my many other friends who have passed into the next wave of existence. Back in the late 80's and through the 90's really, I lost count of the memorial services, the burials, the scattering of ashes. I think of the friends who got so bad that they saved up the right combination of medications, smoked a joint, and downed them with a bottle of booze to hasten them on their journey. I remember the friends who sat with them as they passed, and who witnessed to keep their memory alive (I sat in that chair more than once).

I wonder what the future brings. When the vaccine has made transmission of HIV a thing of the past, what of those of us who still fight the battle? I've always tried to find meaning in the death of my friends by telling myself that their experience, their participation in clinical trials, their subjecting themselves to all forms of studies and tests were for the future, were for the betterment of humanity in helping to find a way to stop this crazy train. But what happens when the disease is no more because of a vaccine? What meaning do our deaths have then?

What about those of us who are becoming "long term survivors"? The effects of the meds get worse over time. Some of the friends I have now living with HIV/AIDS are dying from the long exposure to medications that would kill a normally healthy person. The liver and kidneys shut down. The heart overworked. The digestive system torn apart. What happens to those in the middle, not saved by the vaccine, but not dead from the disease?

I'm sure in a few hours, I'll be thinking about something else, something that won't make my head and my heart ache. Just for now....I remember and I wonder and I hope.

The joys of the Icejack

Last night, I settled in with my Icejack by Fleshjack. I really love the Icejack, as you can see through it and watch your hard cock fuck in and out. I chose the Ultratight butthole. The butthole opening is really nice and tight. It feels great as it grips your cock and milks it. The Ultratight sleeve is just what it says, Ultra Tight!! It really feels like you are fucking a nice tight ass. I love to just watch my hard piece fucking in an out. The feelings are amazing and the visual drives me wild.

After a nice solid fucking, I felt the urge in the base of my cock. My cock started to get harder and I could feel the Icejack tighten around it. It wasn't long before I was pounding my cock with Icejack and heading for the brink. Typically, I would spend a long time edging and just enjoying the feeling, but I had things to do, so I just went for it. I had the camera nearby so I shot a short clip of me cumming in the Icejack and the cum dripping out. Good times!!!!

I highly recommend the Icejack. No matter what set up you go with, you will not be disappointed. The nice thing is, you can design your own, choosing what opening and texture you want. Follow the link for a 10% off coupon as well.

A very WET play session

Yesterday, I got to play with my favorite piss pig. This guy is so awesome. I met him at a bookstore and we hit it off. We exchanged numbers after we played, which I never do. Strangely enough, we actually contacted each other and we've played a few times since. When we were first talking about playing, he told me that he wanted to get really wet, and "not kneeling in the tub wet, but on a tarp on the floor, rolling around in it getting covered wet." Needless to say, I was hooked. He said all the right things. I like my watersports wet and nasty, not antiseptic and cold.

To accomplish this, I make a makeshift pool out of a tarp, it is cheap and easy. You take a small tarp (6x8) and fold up the corners and then fold and tape the sides together to make a shallow box using duct tape. I usually make the sides about 6 inches high. Too much higher and they fall in on themselves, too much lower and you risk spills. The whole process takes about 3 minutes and makes for a great piss play pool. The tarp is like $5, can't beat it. At the end of the session, it is easy to pick up by the 4 corners and bring to a suitable place to dump and rinse. Sometimes the simplest, cheapest solutions are the best.

When we get together, I'm full of water. I mean, bloated painfully full. This is a good thing, though, as all that water needs to go somewhere. We piss all over each other many times and then we roll around in it and cover every inch of each other's bodies in it. It is so fucking hot! Yesterday was no different. We met at the hotel. I already had constructed "the pool". When he walked in, we attacked each other and were naked in seconds. Then, I already had to piss, so he jumped into the pool and I stood over him. This time, I had brought the video camera. I turned on the power to the camera, stood over him and let out a long and powerful stream of liquid heaven. I tried to cover every inch of my little pig. He ducked and let it run over his beautiful shaved head and down his back and the perfect crack of his ass. It ran down his chest and his hard abs to his beautiful cock and balls. He slurped up and swallowed a lot of it. We were both panting and getting off on the moment. Then I looked down and realized I had never pushed record on the camera. DOH!! We both had a laugh before I knelt down and laid on top of him as we rolled around in the pool.

We got up and toweled off and moved to the bed. We licked and sucked every inch of one another. I spent a lot of time on his ass. He has the sweetest tasting asshole. It is clean with just the right musk and sweat. He loves it when I slowly work my tongue into his hole. My tongue is strong and insistent and I can feel his hole open up as I push in deeper and deeper. I could eat his ass all day and never be bored. He spent a good deal of time sucking my cock and balls. He knew exactly what he was doing and took to the new jewelry like a champ. Nothing is more of a buzz kill than when a guy asks if you really have to wear your PA jewelry. My little pig never asked and actually was getting off on the size of the jewelry and the new big balls.

It wasn't long before I had to piss again. We made our way back to the pool, but this time, I was sure to turn on the camera. It was so fucking hot. I was pissing for what seemed like forever, and all of a sudden, he yelled "I'm gonna blow". It completely caught me by surprise. He shot a nice load, while I tried to get the camera pointed in that direction. I got most of it on film. The whole scene was probably 90 seconds long, but so very fucking hot. I put the camera down and again joined him wallowing in the pool in my piss mixed with his cum. HEAVEN!!

We proceeded to get up and empty and rinse the pool and shower. Then we laid on the bed and just relaxed for a while. Eventually we got up and got dressed and went on our way. We already were talking about the next time. I love the way this works. He's got a partner, so there are no strings. We just get together every few weeks to play hot and nasty!

Sex in a Can....my first fake pussy

Last week, Fleshlight came out with a new product. The Sex in a Can is sort of a mini version of the Fleshlight. It is in a plastic can, the size of a Foster's Lager. The principle is the same, tight opening, realistic material, great textures inside. I was intrigued. When Fleshlight posted a 15% off link on Twitter, I decided to give them a try. I order the 3 pack, one of each Sex in a Can model. They arrived yesterday and I was eager to go for a spin to see how they stacked up to the Fleshjacks.

First off, let's clear something up. Yes, I love cock and ass and men men men, but I am not opposed to fucking a nice wet pussy either. I've done it before and will do it again. So, I was not at all put off by the pussy opening on the Lotus Lager Sex in a Can. It was definitely small and tight. The Sex in a Can is significantly smaller than the Fleshlight. I didn't find it too tight, but it was definitely borderline for me, and I'm not blessed with a huge cock. The Lotus texture is supposed to be their most realistic to the real thing. I'm not sure how realistic it was, but it definitely was hot!! I lubed it up and slid in past the tight pussy lips. The opening grabbed my cock and held it tight. I adjusted the back cap on the can for a little less suction and began to pound away on my hard cock. There are chambers inside the sleeve that sort of grab your cock as you pull out. This drove me crazy! I did find that I needed to relube more than I have with the Fleshjacks, but I think it's because the chambers were holding some lube. No worries, I have plenty of fresh lube :-)

I pounded my cock with the can for almost 90 minutes. I was close a bunch of times. In fact, one time, I let just a little cum shoot out and then stopped myself. I took some video and photos and you can see the cum drip out of the can when I pull it off my cock.

After a while, I decided to let it go. If you watch this clip, you'll notice that when I cum, everything shakes. This was not staged. Literally, my whole body was convulsing when I came, the orgasm was so intense. I still like my Fleshjacks better, and will probably invest in a Lotus Fleshlight, as they seem to give my cock more room to breathe, for lack of a better term. But, I can say without a doubt that the Sex in a Can produced a mind blowing orgasm on the first time out, and really what more can you ask for??