My worst and best Christmas

Christmas 1997 will always be my worst....and my best Christmas. I had been living in San Francisco for just over 5 years. When I started out there, all was great. I loved my job, I loved the city, I made a bunch of great friends. After I lost my first job, I started working at Daddy's Bar. Actually, it wasn't even Daddy's Bar yet. Philip, the owner, did my best friend Tony a favor and let me work as a barback the night he took over the bar from the previous owners. The bar was supposed to close for just a few days, do a little remodelling and open back up....that was not to happen. The remodel ended up going through months of red tape and hassle. During that time, Philip sort of adopted me and I worked for him during the remodel, pretty much doing whatever he needed me to. The money helped, and I liked the people I was meeting.

When Daddy's finally opened, I was the assistant manager, and Tony was the manager. It wasn't long, however, before Tony realized he didn't like the management side of things, so I was promoted to manager of the most popular bar in the Castro...well, most popular for what I'd call "Scruff types", you know, leather, blue collar, bears, etc. My time at Daddy's began my descent into madness. Booze was always a factor. I had a beer in my hand most of the time I was working, and lots of shots every night. It was sort of the culture. Customers buying me drinks, or me buying drinks for customers and joining them in a shot, etc.

If it had just been the booze, I might have made it through, but fate introduced me to "Crystal". Meth was wildly popular in SF, and it was sooo easy as a bar manager to get. I had an office in the back to do my drugs, to have my dealer come back and "deal". My hours at the bar were long, and I was expected to be "On" all the time. There were days when I arrived at 8am and didn't leave until 3am the next morning. Meth seemed like a good way to keep moving... to stay "on". It started as just a little here and a little there, but over a very short time, I pretty much didn't do anything without a "bump".

Crystal was a harsh mistress, however, so I began to indulge in other chemicals to make sure she got an attitude adjustment. Pot took the edge off, Coke and Crack changed the high. Heroin made the whole thing just...well, I'm not sure there are words. I was a regular pharmacy. I got really good at compensating, so it wasn't overt, or at least I thought. I would go for days, and sometimes weeks without sleeping. When I did sleep, I would crash completely. I would sleep for 24 hours on a day off without ever getting out of bed. I was so dehydrated, I didn't need to piss, and my body would just shut down. When I woke, feeling like shit, I'd do a line or 3 or 6 to get things moving again.

When I wasn't at work, life was one constant sex party at my apartment. I had so many different men through the door. I can't even count the number of people who ripped me off. Drug addicts are not nice people...don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Around this time, Tom died, and things just got worse. I only wanted to be numb, and so it was a constant party. I remember sitting in my apartment looking across the street at the college building there. I would see people in the windows, in the doorways, on ledges. I would peek out from behind the curtains for hours every night. Even with a room full of guys naked and fucking, I would stand and stare at "them"

Paranoia was my constant companion. I truly believed every night that "they" were coming to get me. I hid my drugs in the craziest places to make sure "they" didn't find them when they busted in the door. I had bugs growing under my skin...well so I thought. I would pick at my arms all night and swore I was pulling out wings of the bugs that were breeding under my skin. At one point, I even took a baggie of these "wings" to the Dr to show him. Why he didn't commit me, I don't know.

The drugs and sex were a perfect combination to contract HIV. I have no idea who or when it happened, I just know it was about 18 months before I left SF. I never used needles...I hate needles, which is funny if you look at all the ink I have. I think that was one of the factors that saved me, I never mainlined the shit. I just did lines and booty bumps.

My spiral just got worse and worse. I think I left Daddy's when I could no longer cope. I was supposed to be leaving for a free lance web design job, which never panned out. I was spending every cent I had left on drugs. I wasn't eating, or leaving the apartment for days on end. The rent money went to drugs, the phone and electric money....drugs, I sold most of my leather for...you guess it, money for drugs. Well, this type of thing can't go on forever, and by December of 1997, the end was near.

I had not talked to my family for many weeks. They kept calling and I kept avoiding. One night, I remember a frantic message from my mother coming over the machine as I fisted someone in the sling. She was in tears and wondered if I was still alive. I didn't call back for a few more days. I sat in my apartment alone, listening to that message over and over for at least a full day. My parents loved me and wanted me to call them back. They loved me, and I hated me!!

I called my mother and it wasn't long before I broke down. I didn't tell her about the drugs, but just that I was out of money, no job, no prospects. I sobbed for what seemed like hours and my mother said two very simple words..."Come home". I had thought of SF as my home for over 5 years. I didn't want to have another home. I had moved from FL with just a few bags and established a life in SF. Going "home" meant I was admitting I was a complete and utter failure. Going home meant that I would lose all my friends - Of course, that had already happened. People who aren't addicts typically are driven away by the addict. I drove off all of the friends I had come to love and cherish. Tony had already moved to San Diego, and all the rest had moved on and left me in my drug induced madness.

All except for Mark. Mark had been in recovery for many years. I met Mark when I was first in SF, long before the booze and drugs. I would go months without talking to him when the madness was at its worst, and he would always be there when I called. Mark never once said anything about drugs to me. He never once called me out. It was clear by just being in the same room as me, that I was high all the time. The twitches, the stammered speech, the picking and scratching, the sweating. He knew all the signs, I'm sure, and still he never pushed me.

I called Mark and asked to talk to him about flying "home". My Mom and Dad offered to send a one way ticket for me to leave SF. Mark looked me in the eye and said simply, "It's time, Don." Mark helped me box up what few possessions I had left and ship them to my folks. My Mom had wired some money so I could eat and ship stuff. I used a good portion for drugs. The night before I left, I think I did every drug in my arsenal...how I am not dead, I do not know to this day. Mark arrived the next day, Christmas Eve, and took me to the airport. I cried all the way there. Mark left me off and I was alone. I had one line left of meth, and I went into the bathroom at SFO to do that last line. I cried as I did, hating myself, and what I had become. SF had so much promise for me when I arrived, and now, I was being ejected like so much trash. That was the last drug I ever did.

I got on the plane, high, and shook my head most of the way to FL. I had a layover for an hour in Minneapolis which turned into many hours. As is often the case around Christmas, snow gets in the way. I was coming down, HARD, and had no prospect of any drugs ahead. When we finally got back on the plane, about 5 hours later, I was shaking.

My parents picked me up at the airport and took me to their home. When I got there, I jumped out of the car to run in to the bathroom and vomit. The next day, my parents give me a brand new TV for Christmas for my room. They couldn't have been any more supportive. The next few weeks are a blur. I spent most of my time in my room, going through serious withdrawal...for like 6 different things at once. I told my folks it was the flu. I was depressed, so damn depressed.

After a few weeks, I started to look for a job and within 6 weeks from when I arrived, I had my first job working on a Help Desk for GTE. It was a 90 minute drive each way, so my folks gave me their old car and helped me get an apartment close to work. From there it was really a big snowball. I was good at what I did and was recognized and promoted quickly. My first dog adopted me off the street and then my second. They kept me laughing and provided unconditional love. One of the managers at work started bugging me about going for my Masters Degree. Work would pay as long as I kept my grades above a B. I figured, what the hell, and after 2 years, I earned my MBA. I really enjoyed my job at that time as a project manager, so I pursued my Project Management certification. The MBA and the PMP opened doors for me. I bought my own car, I bought my own house. SF started to seem like a bad dream...but I didn't forget.

Today is the 13th anniversary of when I cried in the Men's room at SFO, did my last line, and got on the plane. I'm not crying today. I can't say it has been easy. Every day I fight my demons. Every day, still to this day, I know that once bump, one line would be the end for me. I trust in the Universe. I trust in myself. I have come to realize that each and every moment is precious. Each moment a gift. We are so small, so helpless and so powerful each one of us. I am today grateful for every single second.

I've been blessed. Many of my friends from San Francisco have been gracious and have allowed me to reconnect with them. To a person, not one has shut me out. These are good people.

My health has it's up and downs, HIV remains my least favorite "lovely parting gift" from that time in my life. I have terrible scars on the tattoos on my forearms. People as me all the time if I am going to get them fixed......never! Those scars are part of me, part of who I was and who I am today. To paint over them would be such a huge mistake. I look at them every day, touch them and remember. Those scars are truly a blessing.

13 years ago, and it seems like yesterday and like a lifetime ago. I don't know what tomorrow holds, so I live today...and for me, right now, that is enough.....

InkBear InkBear very hairy, how does your garden grow?

I've been wanting to do this for a long time. Actually, I'd been fantasizing about doing this for a long time...getting my cock tattooed! I had checked around and most artists who would even consider it wanted a hefty up charge to ink the cock. These guys were all straight and felt they should be paid to hold and squeeze my cock for a few hours. My cock is nice, they really should be paying me :-)

After one thing leading to another, I connected with Devin in Jacksonville. We met online and I asked him if he has done cock tattoos and if he would do mine. He said yes, and so we set a date. Due to events that I was attending in September and October, I needed to set the date for almost 2 months away in November. The anticipation of the event nearly killed me, but I took the time to do my research and talk to others who had that area inked. I got lots of good advice and suggestions from a number of guys in Inked-up.com. I also chatted with Devin about what I wanted. As my work is almost all Japanese style, I wanted to stay with that, but I didn't want the cliched dragon or snake. We decided on a branch of cherry blossoms. In Japanese culture, the cherry blossom represents the transitory nature of life. I feel it an appropriate symbol to tattoo on my body.



After almost 2 months of getting more and more excited AND nervous, the time finally arrived. The plan was that I would leave after work on Friday and drive to Jacksonville (3-4 hours) and meet with Devin. We would review the design and plan the session that would take place on Saturday. Now let me tell you that Devin is not only a great artist, but one of the greatest human beings I have ever had the honor of meeting. Devin offered his home as a place to stay so I would not need to get a hotel.

The drive to Jacksonville was torture. I wanted to be there already and get things rolling. I made it to the shop earlier than I had planned. I was directed back to Devin's work area and he was already walking up to meet me. He took me back and we hugged. It was the most amazing hug I've shared in a long time. It was clear that we had great chemistry which was going to make this tattoo more of an "experience" than just the regular get some ink. Devin had an appt coming in, as I was supposed to be there later, so we checked out the design and talked for a bit, then I headed out to chill while Devin worked on his next appt.

When I got back to the shop, Devin was just finishing up. I waited for him and gave show and tell to the other artists up front, as they had noticed my leg and so I showed them my back. I'm such an exhibitionist and love showing off my ink to new people. A cock tattoo is really perfect for me. Devin and I talked some more and then headed back to his house. The best way to describe Devin's place is cozy. So many people have a house, Devin has a home. I loved the energy from the moment I walked in the front door. Devin introduced me to his roommate and we all headed out to dinner at a great Mediterranean place. Damn it was good food.

We got back to Devin's and chilled and talked about the ink for Saturday. I was nervous, but Devin was so calming, it was great. I slept great and dreamed that the ink was already done. On Saturday, we got up and headed to breakfast. We met Tommy, who was coming to be my photographer and moral support. I met Tommy at Bear Bash in September and he has had work done by Devin as well. We all had a great breakfast and some laughs. We then headed to the River Art Market by the St. John's River. I was a great space and great art and it helped to distract me before the session.

When we arrived at the shop, one of the artists had been inked on the back of his hands from wrist to knuckles the night before. It looked painful and he confirmed it was. Devin told them that I was about to give him a run for his money, and they all laughed as they knew what I was having done. We got to Devin's room to set up and Tommy started to ask me if I were nervous, how was I feeling, did I think it was gonna hurt. He was really enjoying giving me a hard time. It helped, though, and broke my tension.

I had been told by a few people to invest in some topical lidocaine to help manage the pain. I had some with me and applied it. Now, that produced a catch-22. After 45 minutes, I needed to get my cock hard to draw on the design, but it was also a bit numb. Of course the harder I tried the more self conscious I got and the less a hard-on would occur. Finally after some effort, I got it hard and Devin was able to draw on the design with a sharpie. He asked if I was ready, I took a deep breath and told him to go for it!!

The lidocaine cream helped for sure, but it did not take away all of the pain. It was still pretty intense. For some reason, however, it was also VERY erotic. As I lay there, I could feel the needles biting into my cock and could also feel the vibrations all through my cock. Once the first line was drawn, and thought of a hard-on was long gone. Devin used my PA as a handle to move my cock around and wrapped it around his finger to pull the skin tight. Like I said, it was painful but also really HOT!!! At one point when we took a break, I was surprised that my cock was dripping lots of precum when I stood up. At one point as I lay there, I looked down and realized I was tugging on my nipples. I have no idea when I started, or how long I had, but the sensation was so intense/erotic, that apparently, my nipples wanted in. This happened more than once throughout the session, and each time I was not doing it consciously.

Tommy was great! He took great photos and kept me distracted. When I needed to sit up to look or take a break, he made sure I didn't flop off the table. We had a lot of laughs and it was just a great experience. At some point after an 60-90 minutes, Devin asked me to take a look and see what I thought. I asked if he could extend it more toward the root and the head of my cock. He was cool with that. We also talked about adding some blue behind the branch in wisps to look like sky. He added that and we were really pleased with it.

After some more photos and video clips, we were done. Tommy helped me up and I was so stoked. I survived and was quite high off the endorphins. We all had some laughs and I got my shorts on. Devin had more appointments throughout the day, so Tommy took me to get a bite to eat and then back to Devin's to chill. After lunch, I just chilled at Devin's with my cock out to get some fresh air. It was still bleeding a bit, so I kept dabbing it here and there to keep it happy. After a while the endorphins started to wear off and I was wiped. Between the actual session and the emotional and spiritual energy flying all day, I was spent. I dozed off until Devin arrived.

I got dressed and we headed out to dinner at a great place called Kickbacks. Devin had designed their new T-shirt design and it seemed like he was a local celebrity, so many people stopping by to say "hi". After dinner we headed back to Devin's to watch a REALLY BAD kung fu movie. Shaolin vs Evil Dead was probably the worst movie I have ever seen, which made it the BEST movie I had ever seen. We laughed so hard, especially when Devin noticed that only one of the white rabbits in the opening shot was alive and the other appeared to be fake. It was all downhill from there, which was awesome. I love to watch REALLY BAD movies that are so bad that they are good. It was a great way to unwind after a long day.

The next morning, we headed out for breakfast and then it was time for me to be on my way. I left Jacksonville with mixed emotions. I was stoked I got my ink and had a great weekend, but sort of sad to be headed home. Jacksonville was so much fun, the art, the neighborhoods, the food, Devin and Tommy, I really left wishing I lived closer. But life is what we make of it, so I resolved that I would be back again soon. The drive home wasn't bad, although I admit I was a bit sore and swollen.

I stopped on my way home to visit with Arnie, Larry and Matt. They had a mini intervention with me to get me to stay away from lost puppies. Long story we won't get into here, but flying people to FL to visit me has not been a winner up until now and they worried that getting burned was gonna harden my heart. It is so good to have friends like these guys who look out for me. I hung out there for 2 or 3 hours and then it was time to finish my trip home. I got home but the house was lonely. Can't pick up the dogs on Sunday, so I had a night alone at home. I hate coming home and then having to wait another day to get my babies. It just feels weird sleeping with them.

It took about 24 hours and I decided I wanted to go back for more. I've already scheduled time in January with Devin to go back for more work. Going to extend the branch more around my shaft and also down onto my balls. I can't wait!!!

Healing hasn't been too bad. Having had many many hours of ink, I am familiar with the healing process. Keep it clean and keep it from drying out. The swelling was more than I'm used to but considering Devin needed to wrap my cock around his finger like a pretzel to keep the skin tight, it was to be expected, along with some slight bruising. The pain has not been severe pain, rather just a constant soreness. The thing that is killing me the most is not being able to use it. I'm used to stroking at least once per day, typically more like 2 or 3 times per day. Right now, it has been 6 days and I'm ready to blow...literally!!!!

I can't wait until I see it sliding in and out of a hot mouth AND a hot ass, in a few weeks, I hope!!

Overall the experience was amazing. Devin is such an amazing artist. His tattoo work is mind blowing, but I was also honored to be able to poke around his studio at home. His paintings will wreck your world!!! The hospitality that he and Tommy showed me all weekend was so cool. It wasn't just an ink session, it was an "experience", both physical and spiritual. In the end I took away a lot more than ink on my cock, and for that blessing, I am forever grateful....

A lot of people have asked me a number of questions. so I guess I'll answer them:

* Why? - Ever since I saw my first video with a guy with an inked cock, I have fantasized about having mine done. I think cock tattoos are the hottest ink a guy can have. Not necessarily the best or most artistic in ever case, but definitely the hottest.

* Did it hurt? - Yes it did, but like I mentioned, the lidocaine cream helped manage the pain. Also, it was a VERY erotic experience.

* Are you fucking nuts? - Well, yes I am, thanks for noticing!!

* Why something so girly? - The cherry blossoms in traditional Japanese art represent the transitory nature of life. As the Buddhists say, life is suffering and fleeting. The cherry blossoms for me represent that life is so very short, so precious, and the pain we go through here "gets us somewhere".

* Would you do it again? - Hell yeah! I'm going back in January for more!

* Did you learn anything about yourself? - Yeah, that I can survive things that most of the world would run screaming from. And that new friends and an intense experience are a great match!!

Bear Bust 2010 Part 4 - Great Ending

Woke up on Sunday feeling much better after a good night's sleep. Piglet was still sleeping, but #2 was already up. We headed to the vendor fair for #2 to get a few last minute goodies. He was looking at some nice t-shirts, but the color he liked (a perfect blue to go with his eyes) was only available in a sleeveless version. He said he never wore shirts like that.....well that's all it took. Got him to try it on, snapped a pic and showed him. He bought it on the spot :@)

We all had brunch at the very tasty brunch provided as part of the event. Great food, lots of it, and lots of bears woofing it up. It was sort of melancholy. A lot of guys were leaving, so it was time to say goodbye for now. So many people come from all over the world to Bear Bust, that it's not like you'll see them next week. I made sure Telmo and C knew where we were, and they came to say bye after they packed the car. The cubs spent time talking to others that had met over the weekend, exchanging info and saying goodbyes.

We headed back up to the room and got lubed up (with sunblock) for the pool. There was a small contingent of bears left at the pool and we chatted and relaxed. I headed off to take a drive to chill a bit and get some soft serve :-) When I got back, #2 was napping and Piglet was off meeting and greeting some more :@) #2 and I chatted for a while and it was time for him to go. He had a long drive and had to work on Monday. We went down to say good bye to Piglet at the pool and then #2 was on his way.

I was sad to see him go. It was so refreshing to experience Bear Bust through the eyes of someone who had never been to an event like this before. He was so into it, and came out of his shell so much during the weekend, it was really awesome. I stayed true to my word and never pushed him for anything, other than for him to have fun. He did just that, and it was worth it for me.

Piglet and I went to dinner at City Walk and had a great time. We headed to the Phouse for Tdance. It was sort of quiet. We played a round of balcony bingo, but no one else was playing, so it was a quick round. We checked out the club and there was nothing going on there, so I grabbed the Piglet and we headed back to the hotel. When we were heading back, Piglet mentioned that we never did get to try all the implements of torture in my tool boxes. Well, that is something one only need mention once.



We got back to the room and piglet prepped, while I got out the tool boxes. We decided on e-stim to start things rolling. He said he had done it once before, but wanted to do it again with me. I was happy to victimize...er share it with him. I got him on the bed and hooked up to a couple of conductive tubing loops. I like to start a newbie with these, as they are easy on and off and not too intimidating. I typically get the newbie started and then give them the box and let them handle the controls for a few minutes while I watch. This gives me a good feel for their interest in exploration, and their reactions with me out of the equation. Piglet worked the controls for a while until he felt comfortable. He said a few times starting out that he didn't want me to kill him. I explained that the 9v battery that controlled the unit was unlikely to kill him, especially if he was with someone who know what they were doing. He was not all that convinced at first...which works to my benefit.



Took off one of the loops from his cock and attached a stainless bullet about 3 inches long. This went into his hot hole. He kept telling me it would not stay in, so a quick press with my fingers and a deep gasp by Piglet and it was trapped in his hole. I started him off slowly on a pretty basic setting. The vibrating in his cock was turning him on. The thing with e-stim is, especially with an anal and cock electrode on the same channel, you will feel it in the cock first. Many people never turn up the juice enough to feel it in the ass. Once his cock was getting used to the sensations, I amped things up a bit. All of a sudden, his face changed and I could tell he felt it in his ass.

If you haven't done e-stim, it is hard to describe. The sensation is not what you would expect. It doesn't feel shocking (that is more violet wand) but instead more buzzing and vibrating. If you get the frequency just right, the cock and asshole will vibrate and send you into intense pleasure. The trick is getting it just right and that takes experience. Luckily for Piglet, I had plenty of that.

I watched Piglet as we progressed. I made sure that he understood that moans and groans could mean lots of things, as could Ohhs and wow's. I told him how to specifically let me know when it was too intense, so I could back off and then I watched. Part of being a good top is being able to observe your bottom and translate what you see and hear into what they feel via a feedback loop. If you aren't paying close attention, you can miss a signal that can let you know that your bottom is ready for the next level which could send him into ecstasy. With e-stim, it is all about watching and listening for these clues. I say that I judge my success by how long the bottom's eyes are rolled back in their heads. I didn't see Piglet's pupils for over an hour.



I would get him ramped up on one setting for a while and he would be bucking on the bed. He'd lift his hips high and then slam them down as he realized that his body movement changed the position of the electrode in his ass in relation to the one on his cock, and allowed him to take the intensity even further by moving about. Sometimes he was shaking all over, sometimes he moaned softly and sometime he was silent, and you could tell he was far away in a land of intense pleasure. Right about then, I'd change settings and it would start all over for him. It takes a lot of years doing this sort of play to know how to bring someone right to the edge where pleasure and pain meet. You can hold them over the edge just a bit to help ramp up the intensity, but if you push them off the edge, you stand to lose them, as they typically won't continue.

I did this over and over with Piglet, taking him right to the edge, and then letting him tip over it just the slightest bit. It was awesome and for me a very spiritual experience. This isn't raw nasty wild play, this is play that involves the mind and the spirit, an appreciation of the other as a being, their limits and their trust in you. It really is powerful and awesome!!

It became clear that Piglet was reaching the end of his time with the e-stim, and things were getting desensitized, so I backed it off and we switched to the Fleshlight. He fucked that for a while while I took pics and got hard as a rock. Just watching Piglet turned me on. During the e-stim session, I watched his face for every twitch, every wince, every tension and relaxation. He was beautiful and perfect. He made me hard by just looking at him. I knew I needed to finish this session off with some passion!

I had Piglet get on all fours with his chest on a stack of pillows and his cock in the Fleshlight, and then I jumped up behind him and slid my raging hard cock into his greedy hole. I slid it in hard and fast, raping that hole over and over. I had watched that hole twitch all night with electricity and now it was my turn to feel it twitch. It was hot and firm and tight and wet. I talked to Piglet about his porn shoot, about how guys all over would be watching him and wanting him. I told him how guys would come up to him and want to play with him when they saw him in public, I told him how they would ask him to shoot all over them like he did the bear in the film. He was moaning loudly as I plunged over and over into his hole.

The excitement of the session took over and I could hold back no longer. I felt the load building up deep in my balls. I remembered the feel of the pig the day before as we banged on each other's balls. I remembered the look on Piglet's face as I sent electricity coursing through his body...it was all too much to hold and I blew my load deep in his wet horny ass. I pumped away for a while after that, getting my load buried deep in there.

Piglet still needed to be taken care of, so I rolled him onto his back. He grabbed his cock and pulled hard and fast. He looked at me with those big amazing eyes and asked me to finger his ass, and I did. I got my finger in there and pounded on his prostate. It only took a minute and Piglet was shooting all over me, and all over him. This was a cum shot like I had not seen in a long time. Pump after pump of ropey cum all over my chest, my neck, his chest and belly, up over his shoulder. I just kept pushing the button and he kept spewing.

We both were exhausted at that point and proceeded to clean up. It was really the perfect ending to the perfect weekend. In the morning, I would take Piglet to the airport and head off to work myself. I don't know when he'll be back. I'm hoping soon. I've missed him since I dropped him at the airport.


So, Bear Bust 2010 come and gone. It was a huge success from my point of view. I have heard rumors that there will be no more. I hope those are just rumors. I love Bear Bust and can't wait until the next one. The location was great, the men were hot, the events were fun, the FOOD was amazing, the weather was perfect....it was all just awesome!!

I miss the cubs. I've been in contact with both of them since they left. Both offering repeated thanks. I keep telling them to stop. I'm the one to be thanking them. I've mentioned before how blessed I have been that the Universe has put so many caring, giving people in the path of my journey. When I can, I like to pay that debt back to the Universe. That comes in the form of inviting someone I only know from Bear411 to come and stay at Bear Bust and helping to bring him out of his shell, it comes in thee form of buying an airline ticket and event pass for a piglet to come and spend the weekend, when life has been giving him some challenges. It is me who is thankful, that I am able to share some of the caring and kindness that has been shown me. I truly am blessed.....

Bear Bust 2010 Part 3 - Bears at Play

Well, Saturday came on as fast as Friday did, and again I had just under 3 hours of sleep. I grabbed the iPad and headed out on the balcony for sunrise while while the cubs slept. It was nice when I got up seeing the cubs all tucked in and sleeping like babies. I let then sleep for a few more hours and then I laid back in bed for a while. #2 woke first, followed by Piglet. We all got cleaned up and headed to breakfast and then back to the hotel. I had a play party planned and wanted to get the room straightened up. We got all the valuables in the safe and all the bags in the closet. The cubs weren't sure if they were gonna come to the party. They weren't really comfortable with groups and that was cool with me. We all headed out to the pool and joined up with Telmo and C for some more poolside hijinks. Piglet and #2 were here and there meeting new people. After a while, both of them disappeared with various peeps they had met. Both returned at some point with smiles on their faces.

#2 had been given a great swim suit by WoofTease and we kept trying to get him to put it on. Finally, I dragged him up to the room and sternly told him to get it on :-) He complied! Actually, it had a nice pouch for his package, so I gave him a ball stretcher to put on that would help fill it out. Having never put on a ball stretcher, I put it on for him. He was all smiles as he got his bulging package into his new suit. He looked fucking HOT AS HELL!!! We headed back down to the pool and he was an instant hit. He ended up laying back in a chair between the legs of this really hot pig I was talking with earlier. Sadly, it was time for me to head to the room for the party.

The party was a slow starter, as I figured it would be. There were so many hot guys at bear bust and so much going on, it was tough to tear people away. The first guy to arrive was a pig that I had really wanted to play with. I was glad he was first. It took about 4.5 seconds for us to get naked and then we jumped on the bed. We licked and ate each other all over. He had a huge sack of balls and loved having them played with. That worked for me! I love to pound on balls and so I did. He was squirming all over the bed and I was having a great time controlling his nut sack. At some point were were there pounding on thee other's chest for a while, so hot. I devoured his ass and worked his nuts at the same time....knock knock

Another guest arrived and then another. The third guest was Puerto Rican and had a HUGE uncut cock. It was so hard, you could cut glass with it. I wasted no time in devouring it with my hungry mouth, and he reciprocated nicely. He downed my rod with the PA like a pro. At some point, he was enjoying someone else's mouth and I got my tongue into his ass....fuck it made me drip!! The whole session I was dripping precum, I don't mean little drops, but a steady stream....it was so damn hot.

Our PR friend started to get close, so I made sure to get my mouth down there. I was just in time and wrapped my lips around it as he shot a nice hot load down my throat. I kept sucking, of course, cuz I like it when they get to the point where it starts to get uncomfortable for them. That is when I go to work and make them squirm!!!

Other came and came and went, and we all had a great time. Toward the end of the party Piglet came in and told me he was off to be a model in a Bear Films shoot, doing a bukakke scene. He was so excited and I was happy for him. Nothing makes me happier than when people I really care about are having a good time. So, off went Piglet, the party wrapped up and #2 showed up, apparently having had a good afternoon of his own. That swim suit did just the trick!!

We headed out to dinner while Piglet was shooting...and shooting....and brought him back something to replenish his system, after becoming a porn star :@) Two nights of very little sleep had caught up with me and I hit the sack early, while the cubs went off to explore the evening's events. I crashed withing 5 minutes of hitting the pillow, and dreamed of pigs and bears all night...

Bear Bust 2010 - Part 2 - Bears Bears Everywhere

Friday morning came too fast. I only got about 3 hours sleep...ugh. We headed out for breakfast and to run a few errands and then back to the hotel to meet Cub #2 who was arriving mid-day. Let me see if I can describe #2. He is one of the most beautiful men I've encountered. He is 30, nice close beard, piercing blue eyes, and a smile that will knock you off your ass. His body is amazing, tight and muscular. I had told him all along that he was under no obligation to put out, but was also welcome to join in at any time. He was most definitely new to all of this, and shy, really shy....for the moment :-) If you have read much of this blog, you'll understand how happy I was to have someone so fresh and new to corrupt :@)

#2 arrived and the three of us got to know each other. We helped him unpack and went over the events for the weekend. I walked #2 down to registration, where he was a huge hit. Everyone immediately swooned over him, and with good reason. We swung up to the room so he could make a drink and we headed down to the pool to meet Piglet. One of my Facebook buddies, Telmo was there. Telmo is one of the most beautiful men I know. He is from Portugal and has a great, very cutting sense of humor, which I love. He was at the pool with his friend C. We all hung out together and flirted with the bears. As #2 was new to all of this, he sort of took it all in. C and I hit is off right away and compared ink. We ended up with our tongues down each other's throats pretty quickly. He was a damn good kisser, which is really big for me. Piglet and I were the only 2 not drinking in our little group, so you can imagine how things were progressing. We talked with all sorts of other guys, and had a lot of laughs.

After a few more drinks, we took #2 to the Vendor Fair and showed him around. I sampled the poppers on display and #2 asked about them, apparently, he had never tried them. Well, how could I not accept that challenge. The next thing you knew, he had a bottle pressed up to his nostril. The look on his face from his first hit ever was awesome. He was like, "I need to go get my wallet" :-) The corruption had begun. We headed back to the pool and #2 went to the room to get another drink. About 45 minutes later, I realized that #2 had not returned. I saw Piglet on our balcony and asked where #2 was, he had not seen him. Hmmmmmm About 15 minutes later, Piglet brings #2 out on the balcony to wave hi, he had a HUGE smile on his face. When he finally got back down, he was all smiles. I mentioned that was the longest I'd ever known for someone to mix a drink...he smiled and said he was diverted on the way....boy learns FAST!!

We continued hanging out and laughing throughout the rest of the afternoon. The cubs were off being cubs and I had the room to myself. I went out on the balcony and noticed C sitting by himself across the pool. I sent him a text "Look up". He did and we smiled. I motioned him over with a finger and he came up to the room. This guy was so damn hot. Full back piece that extended onto his ass and down the back of his thighs. We got naked in seconds and found ourselves writhing around on the bed. He knew exactly how to work some big gauge PA with his mouth. I was squirming every which way. His beautiful uncut cock found it's way into my mouth and it tasted like sweet sweet honey. We spent a long time kissing and sucking each other from head to toe. It was so damn hot playing with another heavily inked pig. I had dinner plans, so we needed to cut it short. I laughed when I looked at my phone and had a text from the cubs asking if it was "safe to come up". Good cubs!!

While I was playing with C, Piglet was helping to bring #2 out of his shell even more. They were asked to help out with the WoofTease Jock Auction to be held at the Phouse. Piglet was in immediately, but #2 needed some convincing. I found him sitting at the pool bar and he asked what I thought. I told him life is short and he should seize every moment. The fact was, he was hotter than 99% of the guys who were going to be there and he should use that to his advantage. He hemmed and hawed a little, but finally said he'd do it. The corruption continues!!!!

At the Phouse, I was so happy to see both the cubs having fun and selling raffle tickets for the auction. They wore the jocks that they were auctioning off and it was damn hot. I made sure that #2's first sale was $10 "Balls to Boot" from me. He did a great job. We shared a smile and a kiss and he was off to wow the crowd. Piglet, being Piglet, needed no help. He is so damn hot, the men were just throwing him money. I watched him head into the crowd and I turned around and there was Telmo and C....perfect!! partners in crime :@)

We headed into the dance bar and hit the dance floor. We danced our asses off with breaks to walk out to the courtyard and flirt with the bears. I was disappointed more bears weren't dancing inside, but fuck it, Daddy gotta dance, and fuck did I ever!! We pretty much danced for the rest of the night. At some point I lost Telmo and C to the night, and just kept on dancing by myself. The music was great and the crowd was great, as it always is at the Phouse.

When it was time for the Jock auction, I headed out to see the cubs up on stage. They were so damn hot!! Sadly, I didn't win a jock, but I did have the two hottest cubs in the place staying with me, so I was the biggest winner.

We all ended up back at the hotel, chatting and laughing until 4:00 am and then we crawled into bed. #2 asked where to sleep and I told him to crawl in with me. I had already warned him I slept naked and not to be surprised when my cock...or my tongue....found it's way into his holes :@) He climbed into bed and I had him back up to me so I could throw my arm around him. Comfortable and tired, we all slept like babies...another long day, meeting new friends, and for some, experiencing whole new things!!

Bear Bust 2010 - Part 1

I gotta say I love Bear Bust in Orlando. I went to the first one 20 years ago at the Full Moon Saloon and then to the next few after. Then I moved to SF and even after I moved back to FL there was a huge period where I was a hermit and did nothing. Last year I ventured to my first Bear Bust since '92. I went alone, as I had been a hermit for so long, I didn't really know anyone. I have no problem traveling alone, and anyone who knows me, know that shyness is not one of my qualities :-) Last year was OK, but I think the location held the event back.

This year was different. I liked the location better and had a primo room. I picked up piglet at the airport on Thursday afternoon. I met him at Bear Bash last month and we played and had a great time. We continued talking and I invited him to come and stay with me at Bear Bust and he did. I also invited another hot cub to come and stay. I met him on Bear411 and asked if he was going to Bear Bust. He said he had never been to an event like that and didn't know anyone. I told him he knew me, and he should come. The room was already paid for, so he just needed an event pass and he had a place to stay. To my surprise, he actually accepted the offer. So imagine my luck to have TWO, yes TWO hot cubs staying with me for the weekend.

We got to the host hotel and registered. Piglet was off taking care of some personal stuff, so I sat outside registration with a few bears I had just met and greeted each new arrival with my own particular Ink Bear Charm. Those who know me, know that I'm neither quiet nor shy. Life is so very short, and I won't waste it being shy about who I talk to. So, I greeted each new arrival with great energy! "When you're done in there, come back and sit on my lap", "Hot couple, come back so I can rub on you guys"....and guess what, they did :-) When I flirt, I make it clear that I'm not kidding around. If I say, let's go fuck, I mean let's go fuck. When I say, I want to bury my tongue in your hole, I mean RIGHT NOW!! Like I said, life is way too short to wait for others to make the first move.

Piglet and I started the weekend with dinner and then Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios. He had never been, so I knew he would have a great time. We hit the haunted houses and the rides and even had out picture taken with Jack the Clown....scary :-)

We headed back to the hotel room. Cub #2 was arriving the next day, so we had the room to ourselves. As piglet cleaned up, I got things ready, He is so dammn hot, and I spent a good amount of time with his thick cock in my mouth and my tongue buried deep in his ass. His ass is one of those you read about, it is sweet and soft. His hole is smooth and firm. My tongue fit it like a glove. I chewed and ate for quite some time. He asked me only one thing, no biting....damn it, no fucking biting?? REALLY???? He said he wouldn't be able to play for the rest of the weekend....apparently last month, I left him sore and marked for quite a while....HELL YEAH!!! I respected that request, after all we had three full days ahead, no sense sidelining him for the weekend....although, fuck his as was so sweet, I really wanted to chew on it.

I made plans to slide my cock into his hole. I was ready to go, but sadly he wasn't. He was really tired having been up to catch his flight early in the morning, and by new it was almost 3am. I suggested we try something a little more in tune with both of our energies, so I pulled out the Fleshlights. I soaked them in warm water and got out the water based lube. Piglet had never used one before, so I knew it would be a treat.

We laid side by side on the bed, and I showed him how to manage the Fleshlight. How the end cap provided varied suction, etc. He slid it on and immediately, I could tell from the look in his eyes, he was digging it. We fucked the Fleshlights, stroked each other, fucked them some more. I told him when he came, he needed to do it inside and not pull out. I could tell he was getting close, so I got ready for him. When he started to shoot, I grabbed the Fleshlight and kept pounding it up and down. Now, if you have ever used one, you will understand how intense the orgasm is inside of it. When you are forced to stay inside and it keeps fucking you post orgasm it is wildly intense. I knew from the writing and moaning that Piglet now understood the same. I was still pounding mine up and down on my pierced cock...it only took the look on his face to put me over the edge and I pounded a load into mine.

When he finally pulled it off, I told him to take off the end cap and watch the load slip out onto his gut. He did and he was amazed at how much there was. I told him he could keep the Fleshlight and took him to the bathroom to show him how to clean it properly. We cleaned up and finally hit the sack at about 4:30 am....damn, I was tired....Friday would be the first full day, and Cub #2 was arriving.... a good weekend was in store for sure!!!

The kindness of strangers...and friends

Almost 20 years ago, I was fortunate enough to come into contact with an amazing man. Jack Yount was a pioneer in piercing and body modification/manipulation. He pierced my nipples first and then eventually did my PA. Jack was the most decorated and modified man, I had ever encountered, and still one of the most to this day. When I went to him to get pierced, it was at his home in Zephyrhills, FL back in the early 90's. I had received a recommendation of the guy who ran the leather shop in the 2606 leather bar in Tampa. I contacted Jack and he sadi, "Sure, I'm free now, come and hang out, bring your suit for the pool and then we'll do your nipples." Mind you, I had not even met this guy before and he was already inviting me to hang out and swim in his pool. I would come to learn that that was who Jack was and how he was with everyone.

We developed an instant friendship. Jack was a love, and I miss him to this day. Jack's many travels and friendship with Swiss photographer Stephan Richter was the reason that I got my PA. Jack had a photo that he took of this beautiful cock with just a PA. It has a black background and was a close up of the cock. It was actually pretty famous. I saw that photo and immediately asked Jack to do a PA for me. Jack knew how much I loved that photo, so on one trip to see Stephan, he got Stephan to sign a copy of it to me. I cherish it. Jack was actually in Europe visiting Stephan when he passed.

Jack was not a rich man, but he was comfortable. When I met him I was 23/24 years old. He took me under his wing. He would call out of the blue and say, "we're grilling steaks, come on up" He was the most generous man I have known. One day he and his "friend" as he called him were going to Busch Gardens. I was a poor waiter at the time. He called and asked me to go. I hesitated as I had no money. He said, "I didn't ask if you could afford to go, I asked if you would join us." I met them for breakfast (his treat) and then followed them to the park. When I got to the gate to pay for my parking, they waved me on, saying that the gentleman in the car ahead of me had paid for my parking. He bought my ticket, bought me lunch, I think he even bought me a t-shirt. I was so thankful. He said not to even think about it. They were both old men, he said, and they loved experiencing the park through the eyes of a young person.

Jack owned the body jewelry company Silver Anchor and then split with his partner and started Bravo! Body Jewelry with some friends. Whenever Jack would come to visit me in San Francisco, he would bring me custom made jewelry just for me. He never let me pay him for it. I have a vivid memory of Jack coming to visit. He took BART to Muni and got off at Church Street and Market right across from my apartment. My living room looked out on the intersection. I was watching for Jack when what did I see but a man with curly grey locks and a wonderful bear with fire engine red leather pants, a fun shirt and rainbow rings around his neck. Now keep in mind that Jacks cock and balls were the size of an Eggplant, and it was bulged out for all to see! And there he was wheeling his luggage along behind him with a beaming smile.

Jack also provided my first experience with sounds. His "friend" loved to be sounded by Jack. One day they invited me to watch. I sat on the edge of the bed simultaneously squirming and getting hard as I watch the sounds slip in and then the intense orgasm. I was never asked to do anything I didn't want to do, and it was never intimated that I should repay Jack's kindness with sex. I was fascinated by all of Jack's modifications and loved to listen to him and his wonderful stories. He was so proud when I lived in SF and was up to 30 piercings at one point. It all started with him.

As with many times in life, I never got to tell him one last time how much I appreciated him and all he did for me. He was in SF to visit me and then was leaving for Europe the next week. He always called when he returned from a trip and after I had not heard from him for a week or so after, I called only to be told he had passed. As I grow older, I try to repay the kindness he showed me by doing the same for others. Fly a cute boy I met down for a long weekend, take a young guy for his first piercing, etc.

You know, it's so funny, because even by today's standards, Jack would be considered a freak by most Western cultures. Yet, he was the kindest, most down to earth person I have ever met. Taught me a valuable lesson in my early 20's to see beyond the shell.

A few links about Jack
http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Jack_Yount
http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Jack_Yount_Collection

I'm sorry, something caught in your throat???

So, when we last talked, I was headed home from the Phoenix/John Paul's in a cab, supposedly to go to sleep...or so I thought. When I got back to the hotel, I was so fucking horny. I wanted to play and I wanted to play NASTY! I checked out Craigslist and there were tons of ads, just none that fit the bill so I posted my own.

**********************************************

NO BS - Inked Bear Top for big hairy nasty guys - 44 (FQ Hotel)

44 yo heavily inked nasty bear top.

5'7", 195, 7" cut with a 2GA PA (can play with or without)
I have NO TIME for games. I am hosting at my FQ Hotel room.

Looking for big hairy nasty guys.
HWP? NO NEED.
Into kink? Awesome!!

Come on over and enjoy sucking, fucking, feet eating, pit chewing, ws drinking, sweat licking, hole eating, throat fucking

AGAIN, BIG and Hairy guys are Welcome!!

No long email BS. Send a photo and be ready to cum and play.

*******************************************

Well, that got the emails flowing. Damn, I had like 15 emails in 5 minutes. I tried to be fair and go first come first served, but there were some standouts, so I had to prioritize nastiest first. The guy who won that honor told me he wanted to drink my piss and eat my ass, and he wanted me to fuck his throat long and hard. Now, throat fucking is a HUGE BIG FAT FUCKING TURN-ON for me. I love to feel my cock sliding in and out of a guys throat while he is helpless below me. Mostly I like to use some fun rope bondage along with it, so they can't wimp out and use their hands.

This guy moved to the top of the list!! I told him to get his ass over to the hotel and be ready. We also talked about status, etc and it was going to be a BB night!! He showed up about 30 minutes later, and was he ever ready. We got naked instantly. He was hot. Nice hairy body, small soft cock, which was fine, I didn't plan on doing anything with it, this time was all about MEEEEEEE!! We got to business and he sucked my cock really good. That was nice. I held his head down a few times just to gauge his reaction.....Now for the neophytes, let me explain throat fucking. My dick assaults your throat over and over again, as long and as hard as I want. It is best when you gag... A LOT!! Eventually, you will gag so much that you will bring up thick mucous coated spit. That is where the fun begins. I will continue to fuck your throat until you are covered in that spit....So, a few tentative head holds and he did not buck...promising. He asked if he could eat my ass and, of course, I let him. I'm not interested in getting fucked any more, but I love to have my ass eaten by someone with talent. This guy had talent. He went at it for about 30-45 minutes, while I just lay there letting him eat my hole. He stroked his soft cock every now and then, but I could care less. This was about MEEEEEEEE!!! I was feeling really good from the ass eating, but relay wanted to get back to fucking his throat, for real this time, no more tentative head holds.

I got up and told him to sit on the edge of the bed with his hands at his sides. I pulled out my rope and proceeded to bind his hands to his sides. I didn't want them behind his back, because I was eventually going to have him on his back with his head hanging over the edge while I fucked his throat mercilessly. Everything was arranged nice and tight at his waist. Just so he knew where we were headed, I also bound his cock and balls...didn't want him distracted while I went to work. I got him arranged on the bed with his head hanging over and told him to open wide. He obliged. I slid my cock in and he didn't gag....at first. I slid it in a little deeper and he gagged a bit, but he didn't fight it. The key to being a good throat fuckee (which I admit, I am not) is that you have to let the gag happen and not fight it. He knew not to fight it, and just let it happen. Of course, when you let it happen, all that thick spit starts to flow. As a throat fucker, you want to make sure that that fuckee can get the stuff out of his throat so he can breath. Typically, if they can breath ok through their nose, I just monitor, but if I'm feeding them poppers, I pay extra close attention, so they don't drown on me....cuz nothing ruins a good throat fucking like having to bury the body, especially in a strange city, without your own car...but I digress.

Anywhooo, I found the best way to help clear the spit is to get in there and get it all over you. So, I got down and kissed him, swapping all that thick slop back and forth. I let it coat my goatee and get all over my chest. By the time I was done, he was clear and I was covered. This went on for more than an hour. Every time I pulled out, and knelt down, I got more and more covered until I was dripping just like him. I took all I could not to cum. I was close for the last 30 minutes, but kept holding off. He was soooo damn greedy and so willing to please. I could not have asked for a better victim!

Finally, I had to piss and had to piss hard. I asked him if he was ready for some piss. He said he was. I think he was waiting for me to piss in his mouth since all our attention had been focused there. He even had it open ready for the stream....FUCK THAT!! I flipped him over and slid my cock in his ass lubed up with all that thick ropey spit. I wasn't in for very long when I just had to let go. I pissed for a long time and it was heaven. I was still covered in slop and was so fucking turned on. I fucked him for a while and then went back top his throat. He moaned as I slid my cock in there. I think he was relieved when I had moved to his ass....hahaha, he got over it. :@) I think I throat fucked him for another 20 minutes or so then I laid on the bed and had him use his tongue and work that slop all over my cock and my balls and my ass, then up to my pits and down to my feet. I looked like a furball the cat spit up and felt amazing. He was soooo fucking into it.

By this time, it was after 4am and he was still tied up. I took him into the shower and told him I was gonna rinse him off....and I did.....with a long steady stream of hot piss. He was moaning real loud at this point and I noticed his cock was hard and straining against the rope I had bound it with. He got really loud and I noticed him shooting through the rope, neither of us having touched his cock. HOT!!! I told him he need to clean that rope off, so he let out a steady stream of piss to wash away all the cum....by now, I was spent. Hottest throat fucking session I have had in a LOOONNNGGGGG time, bar none! I let him clean up and get dressed then kicked him out so I could hit the sack. I was spent.....

.....met the boys about 9am for breakfast....I was a zombie....And thus began Saturday in NOLA...

Hi, this is the front desk, we couldn't help but notice...

Friday came, and I was up and out early. The Quarter is so strange early in the morning. The vomit has been washed from the streets and sidewalks, the urine is mostly gone, and the sweet smell of Pine-Sol and bleach lingers on every corner....ahhh Heaven :-)

I headed out for the Riverwalk to find some flip flops. None to be found, however, they did have a Cafe Du Monde satellite, so I got a chance to eat my beignets by the river. Let me just say, that if there were a Cafe Du Monde here in FL, I would have beignets EVERY FUCKING DAY of my life!!!!!

On the way back to the hotel, I call the boys and we met up at their hotel. Once we were all together, we headed out for lunch....yeah yeah, I know, I just had beignets. Well, it had been almost 2 hours, so gimme a fucking break...the man likes to eat good food!! And good food we had. We went to this little place called Cafe Amelie on Royal. I had a Cochon De Lait sandwich. Spicy pulled pork with pickles and mayo on ciabatta...it was HEAVEN!!!

After lunch we headed back to the boys' room to set up for the first play party of the weekend. I'm so lucky to be friends with guys who run a BB website and host BB parties all the time. Their parties are ALWAYS hot!! So, we got back to the room and proceeded to set up. Just little things, move the tables around, set out the lube packets, etc. I got my new yellow jock ready for action and in a few minutes the guests began to arrive. There were about 16 guys total and every one of them was HOT!! The first group of guys who showed were a little younger (mid-late 20's) and I wondered if they would have fun. Within a few seconds they were all naked and jumping on anything that moved.

The group of guys was really hot. There were guys there of various shapes and sizes. The one thing that they all had in common was they were all pigs. We had originally wondered if we would be bottom heavy. After a few last minute cancellations, I was the only identified Top on the list, though there were many versatiles. Problem is, a lot of times, the versatile guys are really just bottoms in versatile clothing :-) This was not to be the case at this party. Every where I looked there was someone fucking and then turning around and taking it. There were guys fucking guys fucking other guys who all would then turn around and take the train in the other direction. It was so fucking hot!!! There were so many hot holes and cocks.

There was a couple there that I just loved. Both in their 50's and both VERY hot! They had great ink and awesome piercings in their huge cocks! Had a great time sucking their cocks and filling their holes with mine! The energy was really high! By the time all was said and done, the room smelled like sweat and sex, and it was nice! Toward the end of the party, the room phone rang. A got it and I was laughing saying, "Sir, this is the front desk, we've had some complaints about all the naked men in your room." Come to find out it WAS the front desk, but they were just calling about someone who was a no show. It would have been funny if I was right!

We cleaned up and headed out to dinner at Fiorella's. Let me just say that Fried Chicken at Fiorella's will ruin Fried Chicken for me for life. NOTHING will ever compare. We had lots of laughs, I spilled a HUGE glass of water in my lap, D. showed up with an entourage of hot men, including the first time I met K. More on K later :-) Lots of laughs, awesome food, a night parade with beads, and Gelato!!! Heaven! After dinner I shared my Cher does Jimmy Buffet and also my Cher does Nine Inch Nails (you have not lived until you hear me do Cher doing Trent singing "I wanna fuck you like an animal...I wanna feel you from the inside") We parted ways after dinner so I could run home, don my fatigues and boots and then meet the boys for a night at the Phoenix.

The Phoenix was HOT! Probably more so because someone...who shall remain nameless...said it was a short walk from their hotel. By the time we arrived, my shirt was already soaked through! Oh well, off comes the shirt. There were truly some sights to see (in every way you could mean that) and we never even went inside. The crowd was so large, none of us wanted to get stuck in the oven that was sure to be inside the doors. I talked to one guy (ok I played with him the next day) who told me it took him almost 2 hours to get down the stairs once he decided to try.

We ended up heading over to John Paul's, which apparently was the host bar for Bear Decadence. It was nice and cool inside, and there was DANCING!!! I'm sorry, but you can't tease me with hot music all weekend and not allow me to dance....I'm a dancing machine baby, gotta let me work!! We hung out there for a while and met lots of very friendly bears. It was a great night. I talked to one man who was covered from head to toe in ink. He had only only a jock and boots, and the rest was ALL ink. I stopped him as he was walking by and asked how many hours he had in and we got to talking. He asked me if people were ever mean or cruel about my ink. He told me that just while he was standing outside, some guys walked by (and into the bar) and called him a freak (and not in the good way). I told him I never hear anything like that, but I never listen either. He was really a nice guy to talk to, and I was disappointed that in a weekend of so much fun, and openness, there were still assholes ruining it. Let's face it, straight people and the religious right haven't cornered the market on asshole!

After we had our fill, we all piled into a cab to head back to our respective hotels. Little did I know at the time, that my wild night had just begun.....

No, really, it won't hurt a bit

First night in NOLA. Hung out with the boys on Bourbon St for a while. Got my Orange Sherbet Fuzzy Pimp Hat, and did my impersonation of Cher doing her impersonation of Jimmy Buffet (gotta see it to believe it). Overall a great night. The boys walked me back to my hotel across the quarter and came up to see the room. After they left, I was so damn revved up. I needed to find some action, and it shouldn't be hard in New Orleans during Southern Decadence. I actually wasn't going to need to look very far.

I checked out Craigslist and there were lots of ads for people all in nearby hotels. Apparently great and horny minds think alike. I was going to place an ad when I realized I had forgotten toothpaste at home. Luckily, there was a Walgreen's on the corner. I grabbed a shirt and headed down. Got what I needed at Walgreen's and was going to head back and put up an ad. But the gods of nasty had other ideas...

As I was walking out of Walgreen's I bumped right into a cute guy with one of those huge drinking bongs that all the straight boys are so fond of. He looked mid-20's, beefy rugby player build, and he was Ginger!!!! Now let me just say that I have a HUGE weak spot for Gingers. Everything else could be just meh, but if they are a Ginger, I'm hooked. OK, we bump into each other and he takes a tumble onto the street. I helped him up and it was clear that he was wasted. He wasn't quite sure where he was headed. He thought back to his hotel, but was not clear on where that was, or which hotel. We talked for a minute, he was very friendly. He was admiring my tattoos. He stumbled a few more times, and I suggested he come up for a cup of coffee to sober up a bit and we could sort out where his hotel was.

Imagine my shock when he said, "cool". We were already in front of the hotel so it was just a short elevator ride to my room. I got him settled on the couch and started a pot of coffee. He was sort of fading in and out. He said his feet hurt from all the walking he had done, and I told him I could relate. I suggested he kick off his shoes and get comfortable. He complied. I found that he was just the right amount of drunk to comply with pretty much anything I suggested. I decided to take advantage of that. Once his shoes were off, I grabbed a foot and massaged it. He liked that. So, I worked on the other. He noted that I was good with my hands. I lied and told him I studied massage....he bought it.

Coffee was ready, but I thought sobering him up at this point was not a great idea. He commented again about how good his feet were feeling and I suggested he lay on the couch so that I could show him some massage tricks that would make him feel better and "help him sober up". He was like putty in my hands :@) Got him laying on the couch on his stomach and suggested he take off his sweaty shirt so I could put it near the AC to dry a little. Off it came. I started to massage his back and shoulders and he had his head in the pillow just moaning softly, enjoying the whole thing. I worked my was down toward his ass and he let me brush over his ass with my hands on the way to his legs. He really liked it when i rubbed his legs, again commenting about all the walking. I suggested that I could do a better job on his "legs" if he lost the shorts...which he did. He lay there in his socks and a pair of college sports team boxers. Damn, I was HARD!!!

I suggested he roll over so I could work on the front part of his legs. He didn't think twice. As he did, I noticed that he was semi hard. The head of his cock was just peeking out of the hole in his boxers. I needed to get it to move out further. I wasn't in any rush and didn't want to upset the delicate situation we had going, so I took my time, just working on his legs. When I got to his upper thighs, I took a few opportunities to let my hands press in tight next to his balls in his boxers. His dick responded just the way I wanted and started to push further out of his boxers. At some point he realized it, and sort of covered it up and mumbled some apology. I played it off and said no worries, happens to be every time I get a massage, it's just natural reflex, didn't mean anything. He seemed to buy that and laid back down to let me work.

Somehow, I convinced him that his boxers were in the way...not sure how the hell that worked....well he was pretty drunk. Anyhow, off came the boxers and the massage continued. I was telling him how this would work out all the toxins from the alcohol and he would feel much better in the morning. He had a beautiful red cock, long, thick and uncut!! I love uncut cock, so this was like a dream come true :-)

I kept massaging and grazing him. He offered no objections. When I wrapped my hand around his already hard cock, he sort of startled for a second and then said "oh fuck it" and let me go to work. I stroked and sucked his cock for a while and he just lay back and closed his eyes. He was verbal, even though he wasn't watching. He was definitely enjoying the session. At one point, I got him to roll over and I spread his ass to find the sweetest pink hole. I buried my face in has ass and could smell and taste the sweat. It was amazing! I ate like the greedy pig I am. He had already started to stroke his cock.

It wasn't long before he asked if he could see mine. I was more than happy to let him. He was fascinated by the thick PA....the fresh ones always are :-) He asked if he could touch it, and I nodded. He reached out slowly and with a bit of hesitation and a look of amazement, he took my hard cock in his hand and gave it a little jerk. I encouraged him to continue and he did. He asked if I could fuck with it in. I told him I could do everything with it in that he can do without one. I smiled and asked if he wanted to find out...he immediately let go of my cock and looked like he wanted to leave....too far??? maybe....

I backed off and then reached for his cock slowly. He didn't stop me. After what seemed like forever, I rolled him back over and worked on his hole with my tongue. While he was groaning, I slid a rubber on my hard cock. As you know, I'm pretty much a confirmed BBer, but with an obviously str8 boy, I'm not gonna take chances on infecting him. He was still floating, and didn't notice as I replaced my tongue with the head of my cock. He was pushing back a little and I was all lubed up and sliding forward when he realized what was happening. He tensed for a second and then said, "is this gonna hurt?" I smiled and replied, "no, really, it won't hurt a bit." From the sounds he was making I'm not really sure if it did or not. All I know is that he reached back and pulled me closer into him.

I rode him slowly at first and then built up a rhythm. His hole was tight and fresh. I was going nuts. He was pulling hard on his cock, when I felt his ass start to convulse. I know he was shooting. That was all I needed, and I filled up the rubber with a very hot load. We both lay there quietly, as our breathing settled. Finally, I pulled out and said "coffee should be ready". He jumped on that and was all ready for a cup. I threw him a wet towel to wipe up with. By the time I came back from the bathroom, with coffee in hand, we were both dressed.

We made small talk about the city, and the night life. He drank his coffee and then said he felt better and was going to head back to his hotel. I confirmed he knew where he was headed and walked him to the door. He reached out his hand to thank me for the coffee. Then all of a sudden he pulled me in for a quick deep kiss. Next thing I knew, he was gone. I hit the shower and then had a very satisfying sleep.

Day one over....who knows what day two will bring......

Powdered sugar all OVER my face

Ahhh, New Orleans! The Southern Decadence trip was indeed decadent. I have to say that I just love New Orleans. Always have, always will. It had been too long since my last visit (2003, I think). I won't wait that long again!

So, I'll have a post at some point about all the decadent food, and the good friends (new and old), but let's face it, you want to hear about the wild sex, right? Sure you do! There will be a series of posts that chronicle the madness. Teaser - closeted Bi guy who never touched a PA before, never did WS and never was fucked by a PA gets all three, hot late night visitor loves to be throat fucked, hot tattooed bear man, with a beautiful PA loved to have his ass played with....and the drunk straight man I enticed to my hotel room from Canal street at 3am. All of these will be covered over the course of the next few posts.

Arrived at the hotel at about noon. I once again had great luck with Priceline Name Your Own Price. Got a room at the Holiday Inn French Quarter for $50/night. When I arrived, they checked me into a suite on the 15th floor. Very nice for $50. As I was leaving the room to head to the elevator, a guy was getting out and saying to the person in the elevator that he didn't realize it was Southern Decadence until he arrived. He turned around and our eyes met. I gave him a smile and hello. He was hot, sort of a tattoo grunge look, skate shoes, shorts, chained wallet...you get the idea. He did a double take and came over to say Hi.

90 seconds later, we were in my room with his mouth around my cock. He was a good, greedy cocksucker. He knew how to handle a PA. Handling a big gauge PA is not easy, and there are more people who can't do it than people who can. This guy definitely know what he was doing. I really wanted to play with him, but I really wanted to get out into Quarter, so I decided to blow my load down his throat and make plans to connect later on. He was cool with that, as he had just checked in himself. Just as I started to cum, he tugged really hard on my PA with his tongue. I went nuts!! It felt like I can for hours, when of course it was a mere seconds. He had to get a return ticket :-)

I headed out to explore the Quarter. It was as awesome as I remembered. Great art on Royal, the smell of piss/vomit/pine sol on Bourbon, and great food all over. I walked down Bourbon and then headed toward the river and my first beignets since 2003. Damn, I love those things. I sat there listening to the jazz musicians out on the street chowing down those luscious pastries. They aren't easy to eat, especially with a long goatee. I had powered sugar all over my face and didn't give a damn by the time I was done! A quick wipe and wash and I was ready to go again.

Cruised around Bourbon for a while and decided to head back to my hotel for a freshen-up. On the way back, some young cub on the street woofed me. I stopped and smiled and we chatted. He was heading in the same direction, so we walked and talked. Come to find out, he loves WS....as the Church Lady would say....how conveeeeeenient!! Needless to say, he joined me back at my room.

This kid was a definite piss pig. We got to business as soon as we walked in. He was naked before I could even tell him to strip. He was really a hot little cub. I'd say he was about 5'5", tight furry little body. He had a nice round firm butt. He was in his mid-20's. Well, all the fluids from the day had caught up with me and so I was ready before we even started. I had not yet assembled the Patented Portable Party Piss Pool, so we jumped in the tub. He was licking my hard cock slowly and deliberately.

Being a watersports aficionado, I love that I can piss through a hard on on command. That comes in handy, as you can probably guess. There really is nothing more satisfying than feeling your piss fill up some greedy bottom's hole.....but I digress....Anywhoo, we're in the tub with him tonguing my cock. I could feel the stream starting to tickle up my dick. I learned long ago how to make a piss as pleasurable as an orgasm. It helps to concentrate on the sensation as the piss starts to tickle the head of your cock. You know it's coming, just a matter of time. I think sounding has helped too, as it has put me in touch with the sensations in my urethra. All of this makes for an awesome experience for me. I think I enjoy the sensation of the pissing as much as the bottom enjoys taking it.

The piss started to stream, and I controlled it. I typically dole it out in short streams, allowing the bottom to stay on top of the drinking. Sometimes, I'll just force piss and stream hard in their mouth. As the stream started, he clamped onto my cock with his mouth and then did one of my favorite things, he sucked...I mean sucked really hard, like the sucking will pull all the piss out of my already raging hard cock. I just fucking love that. It feels so good. I let him think he was getting it all (it was a very full bladder) then he sucked me off for a while...didn't spill a drop.

I slid my still hard cock out and as I did, I let round two go. He jerked forward to catch it, but I pushed him back onto his ass. He lay there, looking surprised as I covered him from head to toe in my piss. I paid special attention to his cock, which went from soft to rock hard as I directed my stream between his furry thighs. He grabbed his cock and started to stroke is fast and hard. I made him stop. Fucking kid, he's not getting off until I'm ready. Then, when round two was contained, I squatted down and started to lick my piss off every inch of him. It was in my goatee, it was all over me. I'd move to his mouth every now and again to spit the captured piss in there. He was going nuts, loving every minute.

We lay there in the tub covered in piss for what seemed like an hour. We finally got up and rinsed off a little (I mean, I hadn't even had a chance to sleep in the bed yet :-) We headed out to the bed, and I wrapped up his cock and balls with some of my parachute cord with the core removed...great for CBT. Everything was nice and tight so I started playing with his package. He moaned at times and groaned at others. I got busy licking on his piss soaked hole with my tongue. There is nothing finer than a nice smooth hole to lick. He was squirming and grinding into me, and I was hard as a rock. Wasn't long before I asked if he wanted some more piss. He smiled and nodded.

He was on his back and I was between his legs. I got up and slid my cock and PA into his hole without any effort at all. I love a bottom that knows when to be tight and when to relax. When I'm coming at you with a 2ga PA, it's time to relax and let it all in. He did just that. I buried my cock in his ass and then gave him a quick warning to be ready, and to not lose a drop. Now like I said, i had not pissed all day and had a lot built up, I find that when I get into piss play, the very act of holding and portioning it out make me want to piss more. I sprayed a long steady stream into my little piss cub's ass for a while. He was going nuts, very verbal. I could feel the heat as the hot piss swirled around my cock. I started to fuck him hard and fast, and he was stroking his very red, very swollen, bound up cock. Flipped him over and went at him some more. He was so into it, and that always makes me more excited.

We continued to fuck for quite a while and then, I couldn't hold it any more. All that piss surrounding my dick and I was ready to blow. I came hard and then just slowed down to let all of the piss and cum mix together. He held it in nicely as I pulled out, and then spun around with his cock in hand and started to shoot himself. I jumped on his cock with my mouth and swallowed every drop.

He said he wanted to leave with my piss and cum in him, and I thought that was a great idea...He got dressed and headed out, and I took a shower and then caught a few minutes nap, before meeting the gang for dinner.

Funny, I thought I'd get a whole day in one post, but looks like I'm gonna need multiples...hahaha

Too funny

This has been a funny day. I went out on a date on Friday evening with a guy I met online. Told him up front that I was POZ, he told me he had Herpes 1, but we should still meet. Cool. Met him for dinner and had a nice time. He was a cute cub, nice ink, actually able to hold a conversation, it was all good. We talked for hours until he had to leave for work. When he left, we both agreed to do dinner again.

I sent him a text today, telling him I had a good time, and hope he had a good weekend (he worked all weekend). He replied back that he had fun too, but that he is "a hypochondriac, and didn't feel anything that would make it worth the risk to go any further". I just said no worries. Inside, I felt a little piece of me, a little piece of my soul, flake off and die.

I shared this on Facebook, and because the universe is always looking out for me, I received lots of support from my men :-) Some of the posts were of the screw him nature. I made sure to let everyone know that I wasn't mad at him, it was just the situation. The guy is a nice guy, and I really do wish him the best.

Now, here's where the universe says, "This one's for you!"

As I was sitting here, reading all the kind support from my menses, (yes, I know, menses, plural of mens), I realized that this blow off sounded particularly familiar. I asked myself, "Self, doesn't this sound familiar?" And then I told myself, "Why yes, Self it does." Then I thought.....and thought....and thought some more.

About 4 months ago, I met a guy online. We spoke and were going to get together until I told him I was POZ and then he bailed, and gave me some line about being a hypochondriac, and that he had Herpes, so he understood how I felt blah blah blah. I wrote a much more heart felt blog post about it at that time. Right Here!!

So, yes, it's true, same guy. I felt hurt back then. Again, not because I was interested in the guy, we hadn't even met yet, but because of the fact that he only saw the disease and not me. But... the universe is always kind to me, and it let me forget him, what he looked like, his name, all of it gone. Until the lightbulb went off and I went digging through old emails. Then I laughed.

On this most recent go round, we had only exchanged phone numbers, and not emails. I sent him a text and asked if the email address was his. He said yes. I told him that we had met online 4 months ago, where he handed me the same hypochondriac line after I told him I was POZ...but BEFORE we went out to dinner. He said he thought I looked familiar.

I said "Yeah, I'm glad I was only rejected by the same guy twice. It would have sucked if you were two different guys."

He just said "Damn."

I replied "At least the last time, you got freaked out by the HIV before I spent $65 on dinner. Too fucking funny!!!"

Then I told him, "You're adorable, fun, smart, and a great catch. I would suggest you go ahead and pass on us POZ guys, we're too much for you right now :-)"

So you see, the universe has once again shown me that everything is not always as it seems, and that even in a bad day, there is a smile!